Need Advice Please Help !

[Carissa]

Hi Everyone, I am really in need of some advice. I have been married for over 3 years now and my husband has still not bought me a diamond ring, though I talk about it all the time, I even cry when a tv ad comes on for diamond rings. I work in retail and all I see all day is woman with beautiful diamond rings. I only wear a gold band. It is so depressing. It is not lack of money, for he bought himself a computer, digital camara and video camara, not to mention he is still paying off a huge radio he bought. Why is it that it''s ok for him to buy things he likes, but he does''nt want to show his own wife how much he loves me? He says he loves me, our relationship is ok, it''s just this thing. It''s all I think about. Every holiday that comes up, I imagine a ring in a box, but there never is. I feel unworthy, I feel ugly, though I am told that I am quite beautiful. What is it then?
Tired of crying..........Carissa [email protected]

 

[pqcollectibles]

Have you voiced to him how strongly you feel about having a diamond ring??

Maybe he's doesn't want to shop alone for fear of picking a ring you won't like.

Maybe he has the same mindset I had 20+ years ago. I used to apply the "2 years later you still can't cook on it" approach to things. I was very function oriented. I wore a simple gold band for years. I finally got my diamond ring a month ago after 23 years of marriage.

There are lots of possibles and unknowns in the equation.

While you ponder and delve into his thinking, take some time to learn about diamonds. Learn about Cut, color, clarity, what you do and don't like. So when the time does come, you can make an informed buying decision.

 

[DavidEmslie]

Good point, I have used that example as a sales pitch for years.

Why can the guy go out and buy a $10,000 sports car but when it comes to special jewlery...a few hunderd dollars seems out of line for a special custom ring or few grand for a good diamond.

This is someting you feel strongly about, for the health of your relationship it is important that you are both happy no matter what the resolve.

Id just let him read your post, then talk to him. Everyone has needs and its important to have those needs met.

 

[dbgaap]

Hi Hippiechick,

I hope you talk to him and work it out. I know it takes some creative question-asking, but eventually you'll hit upon the question that unlocks the mystery. Whatever the issue, a solution can be found.

The hardest part seems like waiting and hoping for a surprise from him. From what you are saying, it doesn't sound like that's gonna happen.
It sounds like you're gonna have to negotiate for your ring.

I hope that in itself doesn't sound too depressing, but you gotta make yourself and your needs a priority.

If you feel like crap, then take steps to feel better. Include a broad ranges of actions including counselling or therapy, self-help books, WHATEVER. (I have felt as lousy as you are describing - you can find a way out!)
And negotiate for that ring!
You are worth it!