Need Advice on Old Engagement Ring...

[ulualoha]

Date: 8/26/2007 12:52:10 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/26/2007 12:10:34 PM

Author: KimberlyH

I''d eat the cost and send it back, without a doubt.

I agree with Kim.

Hi Kaleigh,

Thanks for your response...unfortunately I do not know where he lives anymore. We have not spoken mutually to one another for over 3 years. He got remarried and I have no idea where they settled down. So returning the ring I think poses more of a challenge and risk than probably what it is worth. I still want to think about it though. Thank you though for your help...I appreciate you taking the time to respond.


ulualoha

 

[ulualoha]

Date: 8/26/2007 1:12:56 PM
Author: february2003bride

Date: 8/26/2007 12:52:10 PM

Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/26/2007 12:10:34 PM

Author: KimberlyH

I''d eat the cost and send it back, without a doubt.

I agree with Kim.

I wouldn''t... mailing it back would open a door for him for him to try and contact you again. Check with an attorney first to see what your property and ownership rights of the ring are. If he/she says its your''s free and clear, sell it.

Hi February2003bride,

Thanks for taking the time to write me back. I am very much leaning towards not stirring the dust as he already has been trying to reach out to me on more than one occassion so I think it best to not open that door. I agree. Selling it or making it into a new piece of jewelry sounds like a much better option. Thank you so much again for taking the time to write me...hopefully I will make a good decision soon.

Thanks again,
ulualoha

 

[ulualoha]

Date: 8/26/2007 1:51:29 PM
Author: risingsun
I would not send it back. I think it could open up a potential for further communication or harassment from him. It''s just too risky, IMO. I still wear some pieces from my abusive ex husband. It''s a reminder of my own survival. Now that a number of years have passed, I''m beginning to trade them in on new pieces. I know I have survived and moved on. I am so thankful for finding my husband who treats me wonderfully and understands my need to work through this.

Hi Marian,

Thank you so much for your response...I have been leaning more and more towards selling it or making it into what I would like to call a "Freedom RHR". I know that if I did try to find him and offer to return the ring to him, he would take that as an open door to start talking again. Given that he already is emailing me on his own will, I agree with you and think it would be a bad plan to encourage him any worse than he already is on his own. I really appreciate you sharing your feelings and what you have been through with me. It helped me a lot. Sending you many hugs.

ulualoha

 

[ulualoha]

Date: 8/26/2007 2:25:07 PM
Author: curiopotter
Don''t send it back. Sending this back means you''ll have to not only PAY for shipping and insurance, but you''ll also have to put your return address, and possibly phone number on the box.



SELL the ring, and donate the money to charity. Plain and simple.

Hi Curiopotter,

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my posting...you made great points. And I LOVE the idea of donating moola to charity! Huge idea for me to think about now. What a great idea! I just need to do more research on how that would work...I think at this point that would be a very viable suggestion or creating my own "freedom RHR" but the first would allow me to help others which means a lot to me...going off on a soul searching time out! Thanks so much again....I really appreciate the help!

ulualoha

 

[ulualoha]

Date: 8/26/2007 3:06:20 PM
Author: crown1
give it to charity and get the tax right off and call it a day.

Hi Crown1,

Yes, wonderful idea...time to take some steps to research things further. I love helping others....so that might be the best compromise! Thank you for taking the time to write me!

ulualoha

 

[ulualoha]

Date: 8/26/2007 3:36:55 PM
Author: Stone Hunter

Date: 8/26/2007 1:51:29 PM

Author: risingsun

I would not send it back. I think it could open up a potential for further communication or harassment from him. It''s just too risky, IMO. I still wear some pieces from my abusive ex husband. It''s a reminder of my own survival. Now that a number of years have passed, I''m beginning to trade them in on new pieces. I know I have survived and moved on. I am so thankful for finding my husband who treats me wonderfully and understands my need to work through this.

I agree. Do not initiate contact with him. Even if you mean well you have no idea of how he''d take it.


3 years have passed lay low. When was the last time he contacted you and asked about the ring? I think I''d check with an attorney, copy everything into a file and then sell the ring.

Hi Risingsun,

The last time he contact me about the ring was in 2004. The other emails have just been him trying to strike up a "relationship" again. He has acted super sweet in his emails but I learned from my mistakes...so I have ignored all this emails. I do have a whole file on him with copies of all the old emails we exchanged. I could also ask my friend in security to stand up for me if necessary. I am so sorry if I have made any typos, I am dog tired but I am trying hard to stay up to see the lunar eclipse tonight....please forgive me. Anyhow, things are in a "neutral" place with the ex...I just don''t trust him at all. I really do appreciate you trying to help me out though. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

ulualoha

 

[autumngems]

There is no way in HE!! I would send it back. After the many things he has done, girlfriend sell it, take the money and spend it on you and the new hubby and the best decision you ever made. TAKE A TRIP

 

[ulualoha]

Date: 8/28/2007 1:01:45 PM
Author: autumngems
There is no way in HE!! I would send it back. After the many things he has done, girlfriend sell it, take the money and spend it on you and the new hubby and the best decision you ever made. TAKE A TRIP

Thanks Autumngems....btw, I love your name...very pretty! Yeah, even if I wanted to send it back, I don''t have a clue where he lives anymore since it has been soon. So I think that may be the route I have to go anyhow...unless I reset it into something else. Just not sure yet....Thanks again for taking the time to respond to my posting...

ulualoha