Need Advice - First Dance Wedding Song

[sledge]

Lately I haven’t had much time to be on this forum because the wedding is about 2 weeks out and the honey do list is quite plentiful.

One of the things we are trying to get wrapped up is the song for our first dance. Of course, a simple song wouldn’t suffice. We have chosen to do a mash up. And we’d love to have your input!

Below is a version the DJ sent over to us last night.

While the wife/husband portion is pretty solid, we don’t like the parts afterwards. Part of this is because the DJ used the wrong version of the Marvin Gaye song, and cut the John Legend song short. Another element is we fear we strayed too far from being playful and needed to reign it in a bit.

As we were re-thinking, in our heads we think this would sound good.

1. Start w/ John Legend All of Me song from 0:00 to approximately 1:57
2. Jump to DJ mix. Adjust mix so it goes wife/husband song & then The Joker guitar solo. Delete the Marvin Gaye & John Legend parts which is essentially 4:34 to the end.
3. Have DJ use transition to resume John Legend song from approximately 1:58 to the end

What do the masses have to say? Any alternate suggestions?

John Legend, All of Me:

Custom DJ Mix:

 

[seaurchin]

I'm an old bat so I don't know about those songs but "We've Only Just Begun" would probably make me cry. In a good way.

 

[OoohShiny]

What are your intentions as far as audience participation?

Are you wanting/expecting to be on the dance floor as just the two of you for the entire first dance?

If so, 1:58 + 4:34 + ( 5:07-1:58 )= almost 10 minutes...

... which is a LONG time to be standing in front of people as just the two of you


Personally speaking, I think we did about a minute and then invited people onto the dance floor, as neither of us like to be the centre of attention, lol, and we didn't want people to get bored! There's only so long you can take photographs of a couple swaying from side to side and being smoochy before you would rather be doing something else


I like the idea of a mash-up and making it personal, but IMHO mashups tend to be 'snappy' and quick to move between songs, in order to maintain interest (in this zero-attention-span modern era ). A 10-minute 'mashup' is basically just a 10-minute mix tape which is perfectly fine, but (again, IMHO) I feel you would need to have people join you after a short time, and maybe try not to linger too long on any one song, even if all of the lyrics say exactly what you want to say!


Maybe you could start with the Husband/Wife song and just have that as 'the two of you', then move into the short Joker section as people come onto the dance floor, transition into Marvin Gaye when they are all on the floor (which everyone, young and old, can get a groove on to), and fade into John Legend after that, leaving the modern music as the base from which the DJ can continue to play fairly modern stuff (if you're aiming for modern tunes in general)?


Don't forget - you can dictate the whole evening's music if you want to, so there's no reason you can't have the first dance as one song, go away and mingle, and then come back later for John Legend / Marvin / The Joker in full


I guess you could also have a CD / MP3 player in the bedroom of the place you are staying, which you could press Play on when you got back to the room - then you can listen to whatever you want while you do whatever you want


Speak to the photographer(s) if they are staying into the evening, to let them know what's happening and when, and to discuss the lighting - if it's still going to be quite light and early evening, it's MUCH easier to photograph people dancing (shoot wide open with high-ish ISO, which can give nice bokeh and some artsy 'grain') than it is in a darkened room with multicolour lights moving around (using flash is basically inevitable, which can be hard to get right and even more difficult if the ceilings are high and they can't 'bounce' flashgun lighting off it to give a more diffused light).

 

[sledge]

Holy crap, I hadn't viewed it that way @OoohShiny. Thank you for pointing this out!

I am a horrible dancer and do NOT want 10 minutes of all eyes on me. I can play a mean air guitar so I am fairly certain I can pull of The Joker solo to her.

Also, I think we should trim that John Legend song.

Just brain storming out loud so bear with me, but thinking

• 0:00 to approx 0:47 of John Legend song
• Husband/wife part of the mix
• The Joker part of the mix (slightly modify -- leave off the lovey dovey portion, but keep the guitar solo immediately afterwards)
• Approx 3:35 to 4:40 of John Legend song

Combined this reduces the John Legend song down to 1:52. Worst case the husband/wife mix + the Joker is 4:34. We might save 5-6 seconds cutting the lovey dovey part.

That would get us to about 6:21 overall.

Initially the DJ had cut out some of husband/wife mix and we kept adding back. I wonder if we shouldn't scrub that again.

 

[sledge]

Oh and to answer your question about the music for the rest of the reception, it will be a pretty diverse mix. We will definitely have some opportunity to come back and do a full version of a song.

Also, great point about the timing of the photography. Wedding is at 5pm so we can try to capture some sunset photos outside. The ceremony is outside, and the reception is inside. Also, there are tall exposed ceilings. So I think the photography may struggle as you indicated.

There is a large staircase that I was hoping they could use to get a photo of the entire crowd, and might serve as a great vantage point.

 

[bludiva]

No advice here on the music but have a great time at your wedding! Congrats to you and your bride!

 

[telephone89]

Are you doing an actual dance or just the back and forth sway? Even 6 minutes is really (really really really) long to sway-dance to a song. If you're doing an actual dance it will not seem so long.
This is coming from a guest POV and having worked many weddings in my past life. Most people pick one song and end up cutting it down. I honestly don't think I've seen a B&G dance over 4 minutes IRL. Maybe practice it out? Set a timer and do it for 6.5 minutes.

 

[Snowdrop13]

I want to see pics of the dancing

Enjoy your wedding!

 

[sledge]

Funny you mention that song @seaurchin. I sometimes sing the chorus to her. She does silly stuff in return. I currently have a voicemail from a few days ago where she sang, "I just called to say I love you".

And @bludiva I am not sure it will be on video unless someone does a phone video. We both agreed we preferred still photos so intentionally did not hire a videographer. Me not being able to dance and having no video of it is a huge incidental perk, lol.

She is a good dancer so I'm trying to step my game up but honestly that is one of the things im most nervous about.

As far as the song, she wasnt having all the edits I suggested. We got a few but still in the 8 minute mark!

To break it up I suggested we do something similar to Drop the Mic for the husband/wife part of the mix. We also talked about having her girls behind her and my guys behind me doing some dance moves during each of our parts. Then I'd do a fake guitar solo and we'd close back together in a slower dance where I twirl her around a bit.

All brain storming now. DJ should have a final mix MP3 for us to practice in the next day or so.

 

[OoohShiny]

Maybe practice it out? Set a timer and do it for 6.5 minutes.

telephone is wise - do this and see how you both feel!

Even 2 minutes is a long time to be dancing in front of people, 8 minutes will feel like a lifetime!

 

[tyty333]

Agree with @OoohShiny ...my first thought was how long is this going to be? People get bored easily and its a real downer to sit around and watch
other people dance when you (the guest) would enjoy dancing to the song too. Same goes with long speeches/too many speeches. Really brings
the mood down. There were too many speeches at the last wedding I went to. I think you've got to keep the party moving and that means getting
people up out of their chairs!

Good luck and have a great time!

 

[missy]

Absolutely invite everyone onto the dance floor after about 30 sec of just you and your spouse starting the dance. Everyone enjoys more when joining in and that’s the way to do it. Plus seems many of us dislike all eyes on us so the more dancing the merrier.
All our guests had a blast at our wedding including us. To date it’s my favorite party ever. We danced all night. Our band was amazing (amazing) combined with good food and good liquor gives you one amazing party. Good music is key imo.

Good luck and Congratulations! And remember everything will not go exactly according to plan. That’s ok. Just have fun no matter what. It’s all good. You’re marrying the love of your life. It doesn’t get better than that.