My Youngest is Getting Older and I’m Having a Hard Time...

[House Cat]

House Cat
I too have been raising kids since I was 18 . My youngest is 12 now . I am actually starting to feel not needed lately .What is making the matter worse is my son who is 17 . He was such an ideal child till he turned 15 , after that he doesn't want me in his life . He will be nice to his siblings, teachers , outsiders ... but to me he is always mean . Even this morning he hurt his foot and I ran to him with a band aid and he refused it . I had tears in eyes , I was hurt . I know he wants to be independent of me and his hormones are kicking in but it is still painful . I really miss the time when I had 3 kids under the age of 5 and was always physically tired but satisfied . I have turned into gardening , I take care of my plants like they are my kids . still I feel empty inside . I always identified myself as a caring mother . When I think of an empty house with only my husband and me , I really panic . I think I would move to be near my kids .

I have been told a few times that teenage boys push their mothers away to connect with their fathers and to try and emulate the men around them. I have two older sons, one didn’t push me away to hard but he did a little. The other’s push was so hard that i wasn’t sure we would ever be ok again.

Now that they are older, things are back to normal.

I’m sorry things are so painful right now. Big hugs to you.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I would say that it is hitting me now that my youngest got married this past weekend, and that's really more of a change than college was. Even while our kids were in college, they were gone for 4 months, home for a month for the holidays, back to school for 4 months, and home again for 3 months. So going to college doesn't necessarily mean 100% gone! However, moving to live with a spouse, hopefully permanently, is a more final move. That's what I am having to adjust to! However, our older daughter lives close by and has our three grandchildren, so in some ways, that fills the gap.

I'd say all the transitions of moving to a higher level of school are reminders of how fleeting time is. I'd love to slow it down a little! I guess all I can offer is empathy, because it is hard to see children move on in many cases.