First of all, hello to everyone here, I''m a new poster and long-time lurker.
In a sense, I''m a LIW: I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, two of which has been us living together. We''ve talked about marriage and been ring shopping, but I''m not in a huge rush, as I''m just graduating from college this year and we plan on moving soon. So I''m not looking for a diamond ring.
The issue I''m posting about here is one I actually feel bad about--and I''m sure I''d get blasted on most other forums for it--but since you guys like jewelry enough to be on a forum about it, I''m hoping you''ll understand.
Now, about 2 months after we started dating, my boyfriend (for my birthday) bought me these little hoop earrings...which wouldn''t be bad if they were just normal hoops. But they were hollow, had strange etchings on them, and had little splashes of what looked like painted-on sections of white, rose, and yellow gold. I didn''t say anything bad about it, but thanked him, and put them on. After that day, I put them away and haven''t worn them since. My boyfriend would ask me about them and finally, one day, I admitted that I just didn''t like them, mainly because they were of poor quality. He told me he had spent a decent amount of money on them, and I felt even worse...because I knew he''d been ripped off.
It all boils down to this: I would really like to receive a piece of jewelry from my boyfriend (not just randomly, as a gift perhaps on my birthday or christmas) , but in these three years, he hasn''t done so. I grew up in a family where jewelry was important because it was the primary gift given during the holidays. As a result, all my jewelry has personal significance attached to it. However, it does make me feel a bit sad, because I don''t have anything from my boyfriend that I can wear, as a reminder of him.
I also grew up with a mother that had very high standards for material things. Her favorite motto was "a poor man can only afford the best". We weren''t rich, but my mother often designed her own jewelry and always shopped around to find the best bang for her buck, and never settled for "junk". That mentality was definitely passed down to me. It''s not that I want the most expensive things...I just want high quality, unique craftsmanship. If my boyfriend could find a piece of jewelry for $50 that met that standard, I''d think that was awesome!
I know that the incident at the beginning of the relationship has put him off, but since then, I''ve tried showing him some things that I like/what my tastes are/what makes a piece of jewelry worth the money.
The problem is, he says that my jewelry tastes are sort of random, and that I''ll like one thing but not another thing that is similar to it. Also, I''m not a fan of "jewelry fads" like the "journey pendant" or those circular ring pendants or really elaborate rings with lots of diamond chips in them, so that tends to make shopping at regular jewelry stores like Zales or Kay or whatever there is in the local mall difficult. I tend to like vintage-inspired items, and he just doesn''t like that aesthetic. And, more than anything, I think he is just terrified of buying me something and me telling him that I don''t like it. He even told me that he purchased me an emerald ring from a jewelry store and then returned it the next day because he was so afraid I''d tell him I didn''t like it. And the worst part is, when he described it to me, it seemed like I really wouldn''t have liked it
At this point though, I''d almost settle for anything, just to have something from him...but I understand where he''s coming from, too. I just don''t want him to waste his money on junk.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Maybe I''m just being selfish and stuck up and awful, but I was raised to look for high-quality in jewelry. I''d rather have one nice thing than 5 not-so-nice things. My bf told me that if I had lower standards that by now he''d have gotten me 3-5 pieces of jewelry throughout the course of our relationship
Also, can anyone possibly suggest some vendors or jewelry shops that sell high-quality, unique items for decent prices?
In a sense, I''m a LIW: I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, two of which has been us living together. We''ve talked about marriage and been ring shopping, but I''m not in a huge rush, as I''m just graduating from college this year and we plan on moving soon. So I''m not looking for a diamond ring.
The issue I''m posting about here is one I actually feel bad about--and I''m sure I''d get blasted on most other forums for it--but since you guys like jewelry enough to be on a forum about it, I''m hoping you''ll understand.
Now, about 2 months after we started dating, my boyfriend (for my birthday) bought me these little hoop earrings...which wouldn''t be bad if they were just normal hoops. But they were hollow, had strange etchings on them, and had little splashes of what looked like painted-on sections of white, rose, and yellow gold. I didn''t say anything bad about it, but thanked him, and put them on. After that day, I put them away and haven''t worn them since. My boyfriend would ask me about them and finally, one day, I admitted that I just didn''t like them, mainly because they were of poor quality. He told me he had spent a decent amount of money on them, and I felt even worse...because I knew he''d been ripped off.
It all boils down to this: I would really like to receive a piece of jewelry from my boyfriend (not just randomly, as a gift perhaps on my birthday or christmas) , but in these three years, he hasn''t done so. I grew up in a family where jewelry was important because it was the primary gift given during the holidays. As a result, all my jewelry has personal significance attached to it. However, it does make me feel a bit sad, because I don''t have anything from my boyfriend that I can wear, as a reminder of him.
I also grew up with a mother that had very high standards for material things. Her favorite motto was "a poor man can only afford the best". We weren''t rich, but my mother often designed her own jewelry and always shopped around to find the best bang for her buck, and never settled for "junk". That mentality was definitely passed down to me. It''s not that I want the most expensive things...I just want high quality, unique craftsmanship. If my boyfriend could find a piece of jewelry for $50 that met that standard, I''d think that was awesome!
I know that the incident at the beginning of the relationship has put him off, but since then, I''ve tried showing him some things that I like/what my tastes are/what makes a piece of jewelry worth the money.
The problem is, he says that my jewelry tastes are sort of random, and that I''ll like one thing but not another thing that is similar to it. Also, I''m not a fan of "jewelry fads" like the "journey pendant" or those circular ring pendants or really elaborate rings with lots of diamond chips in them, so that tends to make shopping at regular jewelry stores like Zales or Kay or whatever there is in the local mall difficult. I tend to like vintage-inspired items, and he just doesn''t like that aesthetic. And, more than anything, I think he is just terrified of buying me something and me telling him that I don''t like it. He even told me that he purchased me an emerald ring from a jewelry store and then returned it the next day because he was so afraid I''d tell him I didn''t like it. And the worst part is, when he described it to me, it seemed like I really wouldn''t have liked it
At this point though, I''d almost settle for anything, just to have something from him...but I understand where he''s coming from, too. I just don''t want him to waste his money on junk.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Maybe I''m just being selfish and stuck up and awful, but I was raised to look for high-quality in jewelry. I''d rather have one nice thing than 5 not-so-nice things. My bf told me that if I had lower standards that by now he''d have gotten me 3-5 pieces of jewelry throughout the course of our relationship
Also, can anyone possibly suggest some vendors or jewelry shops that sell high-quality, unique items for decent prices?
Sorry to sound so mercenary, but really, what's the point of him senselessly spending money on something you don't even want?
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