my second wedding, his first::GIFTS OR NO GIFTS?

[emme313]

I am going to be getting married for the second time, I got married young and it did''nt work out. For my fiance this will be his first wedding and marriage. What is the "right thing" as far as people giving gifts ro money as presents? Do we tell them not to, or are we supposed to except gifts?

 

[bar01]

We did not really need any gifts since it was the second marriage for BOTH of us and we were older, and actually had doubles that we had to get rid off.

We joked we should have had a wedding "garage sale" or auction at our reception with all our extra/old stuff for sale (20 bucks for her 1st wedding dress - any takers?)

So we started out with "we don't want any gifts, just show up and have fun".

However, many people felt strongly about getting us gifts!

So we registered at the last minute trying to think of things - anything - that we might like to have. In the end most people gave us very personal gifts that were thoughtful and fun - things we never would have thought of. Also a number of people just gave us cash which was helpful, but not necessary.

In your case, one of you was never married, and it sounds like you could use some stuff - and no matter what you say - some people will get you gifts anyway - so why not register somewhere? There are cites like www.felicite.com which has some nice alternatives - like donating to charities.

 

[emme313]

Thanks,
Yes we had thought about just not registering, but most people we know would probably give us money, or a personal gift. And yes it is his first wedding, and I gues his family will want to treat it as they would any of their other childrens weddings.

 

[lilyinct]

I think I would feel a little weird about registering somewhere if I had already been married before.

I would rather have the money to save.

Just my $.02.

 

[bar01]

The thing that is kind of nice about the felicite web site is that you can register for anything - including asking for cash in a nice way - explaining what you might use the money for - charities, honeymoon, home purchase, gardens, etc...

Have fun!

 

[VuittonGal]

Take the gifts and money! Regardless of whether you tell people "no gifts please" they likely will bring gifts anyway. Also, I''d suggest registering. At least that means most of the gifts you get will be gifts you want!

 

[fountainfairfax]

Date: 9/15/2005 11:09:14 AM
Author: lilyinct
I think I would feel a little weird about registering somewhere if I had already been married before.

I would rather have the money to save.

Just my $.02.

I think that whether you register again or not should also have a little something to do with the length of time between your first & second wedding/marriage. I''ve been divorced for 10 years, my BF has never been married and I think that enough time has passed that no one will be offended if I register again. I don''t think I''ll be having a bridal shower, since we are having a very private ceremony & family dinner, but this way anyone who just wants to give something will have choices. I might end up with a lot of dishtowels but this way his family can feel they sent a little something without having to write a check (although we won''t be turning any checks away, greedy us

)

 

[OldBride]

Our marriage was a second marriage as well. We really didn''t need any gifts, however, according to the manners experts, it isn''t polite to put "no gifts" on the invitations, since it that decision is up to the guest. We did not register anywhere, but after being bombarded with requests, we just suggested gift certificates for Lowe''s.

 

[emme313]

thanks for the great advice. I will check out "felicite" Lowes is also a great idea, since we will be moving from our condo to a new house!