MY MOTHER....VENT

[Izzy03]

Okay, I need to vent. I have been staying with my parents a lot lately and my mom has really been getting under my skin. I know that no one can get under your skin like you mother, but she has really been making me want to scream. Anyone else''s mother making them crazy in the wedding planning process?

She has to know every detail about everything! I understand that she is paying for it, but come on! I am the type of bride that finds something I love, I pick it out, and I move on. My mom wants to backtrack on ALL the wedding planning I have done without her, throw out her opinions, suggestions, desires, etc. Like I have already planned this stuff, move on, why waste three hours on every tiny detail?!

So today, she wanted me to sketch out the room plan I already designed (where the sweetheart table will be, the cake table, the escort cards, family tables). Then she starts throwing out where SHE things things should go. LEAVE IT ALONE! ITS DONE! NO THE ESCORT TABLE WILL NOT FIT THERE!!! I really should NOT have sketched out the floor plan because now that she has she is assigning tables and seats to the guests......including MY friends. OMG.

The questions/comments I received today:
1. Why are guests using the stairs, can''t they use the elevator?....OMG
2. We need to make an announcement to tell the guests they can''t take the vases....TACKY
3. I''m surprised you aren''t having a square cake because your ring is square...UH NO,ITS A CUSHION!
4. Why do have to buy their wine, can''t we bring our own to set on the tables?...ITS THE LAW
5. Why don''t they use the escort card table to seat guests after the cards are removed?
6. Your photography should pose you like this (they she displays a very unnatural pose).

7. Don''t worry so much about your jewelry, no one will see it......

8. You should wear your hair up (I REALLY want my hair down)
9. You should buy candles to put around the cake....DAYTIME WEDDING, LOTS OF WINDOWS..NO CANDLES


Seriously, I am going to lose my mind..... She needs to renew her vows and plan her own damn wedding.

 

[mrscushion]

Ugh, that sounds sooo frustrating izzy03! I''m sorry! I am very afraid my mom will mirror yours when the time comes!

 

[Haven]

I''m sorry you''re getting so stressed out, Izzy. I think this is totally normal behavior from your mom, especially since she is paying for the wedding. It''s unfortunate that her method is driving you mad, but the fact that she is hosting the event does give her a deeply vested interest in all of the details.

Try not to let it get to you, and focus on the fact that she is giving you a very generous gift, here.

 

[FrekeChild]

Lol. Well, if nothing else, I''m glad I don''t have to deal with this. However, I''m starting to get a Dadzilla thing going on, and I think that could be worse...we shall see how it develops.

I''m sorry you''re having to deal with it though. Not fun.

 

[honey22]

Decline the offer of financial assistance from your mother and then go about planning the wedding of your dreams without interference. It''s a shame you have to deal with this added stress though. Have you had a chat to her about how you are feeling? Maybe she just wants to feel like she in involved vs changing everything to suit her.

 

[elrohwen]

LOL at #3.

Moms can drive you batty, can''t they? I''m lucky that my mom isn''t driving me crazy at all about the wedding, but she still manages to drive me nuts about other things

All I can say is save this post. Some day, maybe years from now, you''ll look at it and laugh at how silly moms can be

 

[Clairitek]

Oh man... that stinks that she is asking you to back track on all these details after they have been decided. It is tough to tell her to can it because she is paying for the wedding. The comment about the shape of the cake relating to your engagement ring really made me giggle though. Its funny how some people perceive things. According to your mother I suppose I should be considering a square cake as well to go with my square (also cushion) e-ring!

 

[Gypsy]

My mother did. Drove me up the wall. The conversations around figs and wedding arches and aisle runners. ARGH.

If I can offer some advice, though? The day of your wedding, when you wake up. Take some deep breaths and force yourself to forget Momzilla and remember all the wonderful things about your mom, all the great things she''s done for you and let go of all this.

Why do I say this? Because I got back my wedding pics and my mother is in like 8 of them because by the time the wedding had rolled around I had told everyone to keep my mother the heck away from me. And they did. So... while I love my wedding day, I barely recall my mother, and it makes me sad. Because that day is never going to come again, and I could have shared it with her.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Sounds like she is just being the mother of the bride...things will get easier...

 

[miraclesrule]

HELLO...Resident MOB here!

Sheesh, she's not that bad. She could be far worse. Just ask the girls on here.

Besides...you can always look at like this:

"I am grateful that my Mom is here to help me with this...even though I feel like I want to strangle her. I know that I am blessed that my Mom is here with me and I can never understand this until I have my own child."

Honestly, it could be much worse. You could have had me for a Mom...

P.S. When stressed...read Gypsy's post above.

 

[Winslet]

Gypsy, thank you so much for your comment. My mom occasionally (and my FMIL especially) can drive me crazy, but that really puts it in perspective. I''d hate to feel like I didn''t share my wedding day with either of them since they have both had an undeniable role (helllooo birthing and raising!) in bringing FI and I to this really happy, exciting, and significant point in our lives.