My mailman has ruined getting the mail for me (long)

[Sabine]

I live in an apartment complex that has a bank of mailboxes in the parking lot. The boxes are one 2 sides, and there''s a space in the middle where the mailman stands with the backs of the boxes open when he puts in the mail.

I have a daily routine of waiting till my 9 month old ds wakes from his first nap, giving him his bottle, then putting him in the stroller and taking my dog and him on a long walk around the whole complex. We go by the mailboxes and stop to get the mail before coming in, and it''s the only time I pass the mailbox during the day as we park on the other side of the parking lot, and there is no connection between our lot and the lot the mail is in except near the entrance of the complex.

My dog is not a fan of the mailboxes, so she stays far back on her leash while I get the mail. She is a beagle who isn''t overly friendly (won''t go up to people unless they come to her first), but is not aggressive and doesn''t bark or anything.

Well, the first time the mailman was delivering the mail at the same time we stopped to get it, he freaked out, saying "keep that dog away from me! I don''t like dogs! Me and dogs don''t get along!" And I said, it''s fine, she doesn''t like strangers, she won''t come anywhere near you.

Since my son gets up around the same time every day and the mailman comes around the same time every day, we see him quite often when we get the mail, and he won''t say hi to me when I say hi, he gives me dirty looks, and he exaggeratedly moves to the other side of the bank of boxes any time I come near. My dog makes NO moves to go anywhere near him and stays as far away as her leash will allow, but I really hate getting the mail when he''s there.

I''ve tried doing an extra loop to wait till he''s gone, but he takes forever, so that doesn''t work, and I really don''t want to change our walk to a different time since I run errands most afternoons and other times interfere with my ds''s schedule.

I get that he''s afraid of dogs and has every right to be, and I''m pretty sure he gets that I have a right to walk my dog and get my mail as long as my dog doesn''t come near him, but it still makes me feel like crap every time he''s there when we get the mail

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Sabine I am sorry. That is really unfortunate.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Okay, the first question I have is, why is this man delivering mail if he has a fear of dogs?? I can understand it''s a rational fear, but unfamiliar dogs are part of the territory with being a mail carrier I thought. I could understand him being upset if you just left the dog tied up near the mailbox when you are not there, but you have the dog on a leash with a baby in a stroller. And it''s a beagle!!! It''s not like you have a german shepherd growling, barking or lunging at him.

This is weird. I think I would call the local post office and just say that you have been given dirty looks by the mailman and that he makes you uncomfortable. It might be a case where nothing can be done, and you''re just going to have to coexist, or you may be the 30th person to call in and complain about and the reason there is some sort of action taken by his boss.

 

[CasaBlanca]

I just love how you have a routine and include BOTH your children on a daily outing. Makes me all warm and fuzzy picturing your little parade! Honest it does!

(that wink is to let you know I think it is cute!)

Since he exaggerates his movements, I would do the same. I would get a hook and attach it on the end of the leash. When you begin to approach the boxes just attach your furball child to a tree, bench, fence-what ever is secure. Then approach your box with just the two legged child and do that for awhile.

Yes you are placating to this ANTI DOG-phobia postal carrier. But perhaps if he sees you are willing to accommodate him, he just may loosen up a bit and learn that Sabine's kids mean no harm to no one. Eventually he will come around and by the time you are walking your two legged kidlet perhaps he will be more comfortable with your beagle baby. (beagles are the all American dog, who doesn't LOVE a beagle?)

I wouldn't recommend a complaint. (Actually I would do just the opposite actually-

nother story).

Your mail, bills, credit card statements and holiday cards are important to get on time. Your magazine subscriptions etc are important to you.

I am sorry you have to think this out...it should just be a minute part of your day. Not all stressed and worrisome. I am sorry. Truly. Just skip as you walk away and leave it behind as you continue your day!

 

[VRBeauty]

Based on the experience of one of my friends, I''m willing to bet that the post office would side with the mail carrier -- no questions asked -- if you were to complain or to escalate this in any way. One of my friend had a small terrier that could put up a terrible fuss but would never hurt anyone. Long story short... my friend ended up having to pick up his mail at a post office for several years, until said terrier passed over to his happy fields in the sky. The post office is duty-bound to protect its carriers. They don''t have time to investigate what they would consider little complaints like this. So if it comes down to a contest between you and the carrier, you''ll lose even if you are in the right.

That said, I''m sorry your outing is being ruined. Maybe you can change the routine so that your schedule doesn''t collide with the carrier''s?

 

[Mara]

it's so stereotypical but i seriously feel like so many mail carriers are freaked out by dogs. and i'm sure with good cause, many people's dogs are not well-behaved and i imagine a lot of carriers have been terrorized in general.

speaking of. our last place's mail carrier was totally freaked out by dogs in general, anytime we'd open the door and he'd see portia at our heels he'd back away and look scared. as a result portia barked at him mercilessly through the door anytime he dropped the mail. once she was in the yard and he opened the gate to come in and did not see her, and she chased him barking...mind you this dog would not bite ANYTHING, she just likes to chase and bark, she thinks its fun and it's a game. anyway he was freaking out screaming and running, HELLO...she'll just keep chasing you. finally i was able to recall her and he was all huffy, i was super apologetic, since she prob gave the guy a mini heart attack. my little 20 lb ball of fluff bruiser pup.

thankfully our new house's carrier is super friendly and loves the dog, which is good cuz he's always dropping packages for me. hehe.

sabine maybe shift the walk by 30min or something? i would imagine that small shift wouldn't bother Jacks' routine too much and the dog certainly wouldn't mind hehee. i'd rather have peace of mind on my walk than deal with that daily.

 

[sphenequeen]

I am going to play devils advocate here...

When my brother was young, he had a paper route (WAY back in the day) and he was attacked by someone's dog who was left out and was not tied to a leash. I have a feeling that mail carriers, going door to door on a daily basis, encounter this issue all of the time. Growing up, our sweet Jack Russell, who would never hurt a soul, wanted to tear out our mail carrier's throat! I think this is an interesting phenomenon that makes mail carrier's a bit defensive as it is a hazard of their profession- nothing personal against you, Sabine.

 

[lyra]

I would just ignore the mailman and continue the schedule that is convenient for you. It''s his problem. It''s only your problem if your dog gets aggressive with him. Either attach her to something nearby or just carry on with how you''re doing it now. You don''t have to be friends.

 

[sphenequeen]

Date: 4/24/2010 1:31:21 PM
Author: lyra
I would just ignore the mailman and continue the schedule that is convenient for you. It''s his problem. It''s only your problem if your dog gets aggressive with him. Either attach her to something nearby or just carry on with how you''re doing it now. You don''t have to be friends.

Ditto.

 

[Haven]

Honestly, I wouldn''t let this bother you so much, Sabine. Your mail carrier doesn''t like your dog, and he isn''t super friendly when you walk by. The guy''s just trying to do his job. It is unfortunate that his timing coincides when you want to take your walk every morning, but the fact that you feel like crap every time you see him is completely in your control--maybe view it as a challenge to stop allowing other people to affect your mood.

I''m not surprised that the man has a fear of dogs. I once saw a show about how often mail carriers are attacked by people''s dogs, and since there are so many irresponsible pet owners out there, I''m not at all surprised. Your dog is obviously not a threat, but he probably had a bad experience with a dog that has made him fear all dogs.

I hope you can feel better about this. The good news is that in the grand scheme of things, if a not-so-friendly mailman is your biggest problem, that''s great news!

 

[Clio]

Ditto Haven.

 

[movie zombie]

be careful: this postman could make a false complaint against your dog and you could have your dog taken away. paranoid?! you betcha when it comes to this kind of situation. if it comes down to your statement against the postman''s the post office will side with him and so will the "authorities". personally, i''d find a way to walk my dog at another time and not have him present at the mailbox when the mail delivery occurs.

i''m not known for backing off of these kinds of things but i would not want my pet removed from me under false pretenses.

mz

 

[CasaBlanca]

OH Ditto Zombie (so I retract my leash attachment idea) MZ is so right!

(my sil''s dog did get removed from her home, I forgot that! It was the meter reader complaint. Authorities don''t side EVER with pet owner.) 3 or 5 weeks later, and a huge boarding bill, met with dog tax fines, vet appointment and forms the dog finally got to come back home!

You know your beagle won''t hurt a fly, but they won''t listen to you. Only the complain-ee.

Drats Sabine, it is really best to avoid him all together. Just think how empty you would feel not having your pup for a period of time. Not worth the chance.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

OK--I just have this to say:

I am TERRIFIED of dogs--moderate size and bigger. It does ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD for the owner to say "oh, it''s ok--he won''t bite you". We who are afraid don''t know that. We''ve had bad experiences with good dogs. And I am pretty sure most mail cariers have had a run in with a dog who "wouldn''t ever" bite someone.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

As far as I know, the no dog intimidating carriers is the post office"s policy. I do not believe you have any ground to stand on. If a dog is barking too much, even if tied up, you will get no mail delivery. I don''t think the mail carrier should be worried about your dog. Go an hour later.

When I learned of this policy, I too was surprised, but this has been in effect a long while in my state.

Thanks,

 

[Laila619]

Date: 4/24/2010 4:21:36 PM
Author: Amber St. Clare
OK--I just have this to say:

I am TERRIFIED of dogs--moderate size and bigger. It does ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD for the owner to say ''oh, it''s ok--he won''t bite you''. We who are afraid don''t know that. We''ve had bad experiences with good dogs. And I am pretty sure most mail cariers have had a run in with a dog who ''wouldn''t ever'' bite someone.

Yep. Big ditto.

 

[jewelerman]

keep your schedule,continue to make sure the dog stays away from him to respect his space,be friendly and even conversational because we cant win everyone over all the time but we can be friendly,feel bad for him that hes missing an oppertunity to enjoy your company.

 

[katamari]

Date: 4/24/2010 7:21:52 PM
Author: Laila619

Date: 4/24/2010 4:21:36 PM

Author: Amber St. Clare

OK--I just have this to say:


I am TERRIFIED of dogs--moderate size and bigger. It does ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD for the owner to say ''oh, it''s ok--he won''t bite you''. We who are afraid don''t know that. We''ve had bad experiences with good dogs. And I am pretty sure most mail cariers have had a run in with a dog who ''wouldn''t ever'' bite someone.

Yep. Big ditto.

Tritto. If I know dogs and understand their owners and personalities, I can be around them. But, I would never trust a dog I didn''t know very well and whose owners I didn''t know well.

I walk to/from work and I always cross the street to the other side when I see a dog. Even though I see the same dogs nearly every time and am friendly with their owners when I see the around the neighborhood. It isn''t my intention to upset the owner at all or that I particularly feel threatened by the dogs. I was bit to the point of stitches as a child by one of my uncle''s dogs. Ever since, it has always been very hard for me to be around dogs because of that experience.

 

[Sabine]

Wow, responses are on all sides of the spectrum here and really giving me something to think about.

I do feel terrible that my dog causes the mailman stress in his day, as well as hating how I feel when I see him there.

What do you all think of the idea that the next time I see him, I take my dog back inside and come back alone (well, with ds), and say something like:

"I understand that you don''t like dogs. It''s unfortunate that our schedules often coincide like this. On the occasions that they do, is there anything short of me not getting my mail that I can do to help you feel more comfortable?"

 

[lyra]

That sounds like a good compromise Sabine. At least you''ll know you tried. If it really is possible that your dog might get taken away, I too would just leave it at home. If he has a substantial fear, nothing is going to change his comfort level other than not having the dog around. Good luck.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I like CasaBlanca''s idea - I''m sorry you''re frustrated!