My heart sank...

[dinamit]

Ladies, I need some cheering up.

I joined the LIW list as I had many clues that my SO took the diamond to be set (you can read a bit more about them in the list thread). Basically, the stone went missing from it''s place, the jeweller''s card was right at the front pocket of his wallet and he gave me a pretty unbelievable excuse to disappear for an afternoon. I wanted to check my theory was valid (ahh, I am just like that...) and said I was looking for something else in the diamond safeplace to see if he would stop me from going in there, but he didn''t

. After that, I became paranoid the diamond went missing and went looking all over the house. He asked me what I was looking for, and I sort of just stared back at him for a moment, but he got the message as he said "i know what you are looking for" and smiled. Then he said "don''t worry, it''s with me. Just you wait and see!" or something along those lines, so I was pretty certain that he took the stone to be set.

Anyhow, to cut the long story short, the diamond mysteriously reappeared in it''s temporary home, and I just literally noticed this. What can I say, my heart sank...We''ve been together more than 6 years and despite knowing my man pretty well, I don''t understand any of the above. I feel so deflated...

 

[Winks_Elf]

Are you sure it''s the diamond and not a cz he put there to throw you off?

Anyway, (((((BIG HUG!)))))

 

[TooPatient]

Maybe he took it to have it appraised or inspected to make sure it is the quality you want?

Maybe he took it to a designer so they can design a setting for it?


I''m sure he has something wonderful that he is working on. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

[jjc]

Date: 10/12/2009 1:20:35 PM
Author: TooPatient
Maybe he took it to have it appraised or inspected to make sure it is the quality you want?


Maybe he took it to a designer so they can design a setting for it?



I''m sure he has something wonderful that he is working on. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

+1. I''m so sorry you''re feeling down. There are so many little things that can come up during the process of creating the ring, I totally understand how it can bum you out, but try to have faith in your man. Sounds like he''s on top of it!

((((HUGS))))

 

[dinamit]

Winks_Elf, TooPatient and jjc, thanks so much for trying to come up with explanations for this strange episode. However, it is definitely THE diamond; trust me after looking at it for hours on end, I know this stone! Also, I''ve been lusting over the same setting for over 2 years now, which is why he has the jeweller''s card with all the info in his wallet - it is my dream ring. The card used to be in one compartment of his wallet and over those few days when he said "just wait and see", it moved to the front. Btw, I don''t sneakily look inside my SO''s wallet; he gave it to me so I could buy something for him while I was online.

Anyway...I think I now truly understand about LIWs meltdown; there''s a part of me that just feels like crying, and the other more cerebral one that says "don''t be ridiculous". After all this time though, it seems like a bit of a cruel joke...

Has anyone had a similar experience? Isn’t it common to leave the stone with the jeweller while the ring is being made? I am trying to come up with an explanation as I can’t believe my SO would be that insensitive so as to hint something, and then change his mind for whatever reason.

Why does drama appear to go hand in hand with the engagement process?

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 10/12/2009 1:53:36 PM
Author: dinamit

Winks_Elf, TooPatient and jjc, thanks so much for trying to come up with explanations for this strange episode. However, it is definitely THE diamond; trust me after looking at it for hours on end, I know this stone! Also, I''ve been lusting over the same setting for over 2 years now, which is why he has the jeweller''s card with all the info in his wallet - it is my dream ring. The card used to be in one compartment of his wallet and over those few days when he said ''just wait and see'', it moved to the front. Btw, I don''t sneakily look inside my SO''s wallet; he gave it to me so I could buy something for him while I was online.

Anyway...I think I now truly understand about LIWs meltdown; there''s a part of me that just feels like crying, and the other more cerebral one that says ''don''t be ridiculous''. After all this time though, it seems like a bit of a cruel joke...

Has anyone had a similar experience? Isn’t it common to leave the stone with the jeweller while the ring is being made? I am trying to come up with an explanation as I can’t believe my SO would be that insensitive so as to hint something, and then change his mind for whatever reason.

Why does drama appear to go hand in hand with the engagement process?

I have a setting I''ve LOVED forever. I''ve looked at this style for the last 8 years. (yep, longer than B has been around). I found THE setting about 2 years ago. We need to buy a center stone for it. If we don''t buy the stone from the people with the setting, they will charge about $800 to set the diamond in their setting. (real number -- I got the quote myself)
B thinks the setting is over priced anyway (and he doesn''t even know about the charge to set the diamond in it).

It is possible that your SO took the card with all the setting information along with the diamond to a different place to see if they could give you the same setting for a better price. Or for an estimate to see what a different place would charge to set a diamond in a setting.

 

[Winks_Elf]

After 6+ years together, I think he owes you an explanation.

 

[dinamit]

TooPatient, your situation is somewhat similar to ours. The jeweller that carries the ring wants to sell it to us for £1000 (and that''s for white gold),
including setting the stone, because we bought the diamond elsewhere. Otherwise, I think it costs literally half that as it''s a very simple setting. I know this because I got the quote a while back, and it could be that this deterred my SO, though then he shouldn''t have said anything before he got all the facts. It all seems a bit sloppy and weird...Maybe I will comment on the stone "mysteriously" reappearing and see how he reacts.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Perhaps he is waiting for CAD''s to come in or a wax mold. The diamond could have gone missing while he took it to have the process started. Different places have different philosophies around holding a stone on-site that wasn''t purchased at their store - depending on their insurance.

Regardless of why it disappeared and reappeared I don''t feel he owes you any explination - you are the one who is snooping around for it. I know it''s hard to just be patient but a simple solution to the drama is to stop looking. It will save you from these icky feelings and it preserves his ability to surprise you with the completed ring.

 

[dinamit]

Keepingthefaith, thanks for sharing your explanation and viewpoint. For what it''s worth, I wasn''t snooping at all to start with; as a matter of fact I decided to stop looking at the stone and let things take their natural course. However, about 10 days ago I opened the box because I needed to get a watch serviced (all my watches stoped working!) and then realised the stone was missing. Otherwise, the stone lives in a place neither of us goes to very often; I guess it was his bad luck that I needed to get my watch at that time (which I need to do about every 2-3 years!).

I admit to looking purposefully today, as I wanted to look at the paperwork that came with the stone; only I found more in the envelope than I bargained for. It was hard not to be excited at the prospect of an impending engagement after waiting that many years.

 

[HopeDream]

Hi Dinamit, sorry for your dissapointment!

Is it posssible that the rock went on a little show and tell with your BF? Sometimes parents or friends want to see the stone beforehand.

It could be possible that one of his friends is thinking about getting engaged soon, and your BF wanted to show him what an awesome rock looks like for reference.

(I wish my BF had already purchased a diamond).

I recommend baking diamond return celebration cupcakes.

 

[dinamit]

I think the cupcakes are a great idea!

It would sure take my mind off "things", though I might end up eating the whole tray

I hear what you are saying HopeDream; on the one hand having a diamond means that we will get engaged someday, on the other, it makes the waiting even more agonising I promise you, as you''ve got this "so close and yet so far" feeling. I can''t imagie the reason for waiting now that we have the stone (we''ve had it for quite a while). Maybe I am just a little bit burnt out after all this waiting. I honestly wish that I never saw the stone "disappear" in the first place; then I wouldn''t have got my hopes up.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 10/12/2009 3:12:20 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
Perhaps he is waiting for CAD''s to come in or a wax mold. The diamond could have gone missing while he took it to have the process started. Different places have different philosophies around holding a stone on-site that wasn''t purchased at their store - depending on their insurance.

Regardless of why it disappeared and reappeared I don''t feel he owes you any explination - you are the one who is snooping around for it. I know it''s hard to just be patient but a simple solution to the drama is to stop looking. It will save you from these icky feelings and it preserves his ability to surprise you with the completed ring.

CAD & wax mold sound like real possibilities. Different insurance companies have different policies so they may only be able to hold a stone as long as they are actually working on something with it.

Could also be that he wanted to get it back in the box before you noticed it missing. To avoid ruining the surprise (if it is gone, you''ll know it is coming).

For that matter, he could be nervous about anyone else having your diamond. My grandmother was terrified something would happen to one of her diamonds. She had one man who did all of her work. No one else ever touched them. She left them with him and ONLY him. And picked them up as soon as he had them ready. If at all possible it was done same day (often with her waiting just down the street).

 

[Indylady]

Ditto on the appraisal, CADS, wax, you name it!

 

[dinamit]

Thanks everyone, I''ve calmed down after the initial surprise. It was a bit of a shock seeing the stone there after I was convinced he took it to be set. I''ll wait a few weeks, have faith in my man and see what happens. The whole thing happened nearly two weeks ago, and it can take up to four weeks to have a ring made. If the stone is still here in a few weeks time, then I''ll know something else is up. I know, I know, curiosity killed the cat, but honestly, could you help it if this happened to you? Even if I know a ring is on the way, the proposal will still be a surprise.