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My gay friend asked for advice...

Arkteia

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Nov 3, 2009
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Which I can not give him because I do not know the laws. But we have many lawyers here on the PS, so maybe someone has an idea...
In short, he and his partner have been living together for 13 years. The partner was younger, my friend put him through college. They are registered as domestic partners in the state of California. My friend can not pass his exam here because of reading problems. He has been staying at home and his partner has been supporting him.
For the last three years, the relationship has been rocky. The partner has been having affairs and his attitude to my friend borders on emotional abuse. My friend is dependent on his partner financially and insurance-wise. He is afraid that there will be a separation. He is asking me if he is entitled to alimony. He can work in CA but he doesnt't like that state he says.
He knows about my hobby. He does not know which forums I am at but he asked me to post his question. Financially he is fully dependent on his partner and can not afford a lawyer.
 
I don't know the answer but this stuff will be very interesting to watch in a legal sense.

If gays want equality don't they also have to be treated the same as straights when relationships go south?

At the moment gays cannot marry in California (I give that 5 years) so perhaps common law marriage laws (or whatever is on the books in CA - I honest do not know) should not apply to a group of people who cannot marry.

The whole thing is a can of worms if you ask me.
 
I know, Kenny. I just do not know how to help him. He is a wonderful person, nice and warm, has a lot of friends of both sexes, people who offered him to live in their houses should things go sour. But he is very anxious, focused on this situation; I can not see him in this state, he does not enjoy life. I wonder if there is a single lawyer on the PS who has dealt with gay relationhsip issues professionally?
 
crasru said:
I know, Kenny. I just do not know how to help him. He is a wonderful person, nice and warm, has a lot of friends of both sexes, people who offered him to live in their houses should things go sour. But he is very anxious, focused on this situation; I can not see him in this state, he does not enjoy life. I wonder if there is a single lawyer on the PS who has dealt with gay relationhsip issues professionally?

Have him contact the Gay and Lesian center in Los Angeles or San Francisco.
I'm sure they have someone there who is familiar with the California laws on this subject.
They will probably will talk to him on the phone for free.
 
I have to say I share the same thought as Kenny as far as gays wanting equality all around...

I left a marriage with almost nothing. I only had friends and my immediate family to fall back on and am still not financially back on my feet.

I think the person has to really want to leave, much like an addict has to hit bottom and really, really want to commit to getting clean. no amount of advice, whether it is paid or unpaid legal advice or just friendly advice, will really motivate that person to leave until they absolutely want to do it for themselves.

You are very kind, Crasru, to want to help your friend.
 
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