My baby is making me crazy!

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/29/2009 10:50:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 6/29/2009 10:12:33 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/29/2009 10:02:00 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
The mesh bumpers are key! I still have them on T''s crib. She also would get her legs stuck and they do have slight padding to them.

Agree. We still have them, as Amelia is a crazy sleeper...she is all over the place in that crib.

DD, yup, sounds like you got a real flipper there! Glad to hear the sleep positioners are working. I was going to get them myself but because of Amelia''s one way turning only, scooting her to the edge of the crib worked pretty well. I really hated the flipping stage because I had a good sleeper by that point and I was freaked out it was all going to hell!!

I know!!

I worry the same thing. But he has about 3-4 nights like this every 2 weeks then he is back on track again. Must e the moon.

He will be fine for sure.

Kids...they keep you on your toes. So fun! I tell ya, after ALL of this sleep training, Amelia now cries when I put her to bed. I literally pick her up, have her poised over the crib and she starts crying. Totally a protest cry because now she loves to stay up and hang out with us. She is SO sad when it is bedtime. But I put her down, stroke her hair, give her a kiss and leave. Thankfully, at least with all the sleep training, she knows I am not coming back and it stops literally 15 seconds after the door is shut, but it still sucks to hear. This is her fun new stage, and again, this behavior still comes up, even after all that conditioning!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/29/2009 11:38:27 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker

Date: 6/29/2009 10:47:24 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 6/29/2009 10:15:21 PM

Author: LtlFirecracker

Well parenting is a part of a pediatricians education, but we are not any better than a well read or experienced parent. For the parenting stuff, we are probably sharing the same resources.


As for the sleeping on the stomach thing, we tell parents not to stress about it if they are rolling on their own. Think about it this way, they now have enough strength to lift their head up if they are not getting enough oxygen. With the newborns, they can''t roll, or move things (like blankets) with their hands, so if their face gets covered, they have no way out of it. What we tell parents is to continue placing them on their backs, but not to stay up all night making sure they stay that way. I would make sure all stuff that could be a hazard such as crib bumpers, blankets, stuffed toys are out (sounds like your crib is pretty good though).

I guess I should remember there are some pediatricians around here before I go running my mouth off!

LOL! But see, that is the exact type of advice I would most definitely take from a ped! Thanks for sharing it, I never did ask my doc about it... I just read this to my Dh and he is very relieved. He also laughed at me for sticking my foot in my mouth. Again.

HaHa that is nothing compaired to what some parents say to me in real life

. Like PP said, we tell parents they at some point need to let their kids ''cry it out'' but I would never tell a parent to let a kid cry to the point of vomiting. I also tell the parents they need to check on them, but on those couple nights, not to pick them up. We usually tell parents to do it over a weekend because it is an all night thing. I don''t think there is any set age to do this. What I say is that nutritionally, a baby who is growing NORMALLY, can go all night without eating at 4 mo. If at that age they are eating at night it is for confront and not nutrition. So I would not do it any earlier than that. I advise they do it before they can walk, because things get a whole lot harder after that. However, the neurologist at our program doesn''t believe in this at all (her kids are almost 2 and she never did it), she feels babies need to know they are cared for when they are distressed. I don''t fully agree, I think there is a delicate balance between learned helplessness and being spoiled, but you can see these are just different parenting techniques.

That''s interesting Ltl!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

edited - too off topic

TGal: You can find a medical opinion for either side of this one, as with many other parenting issues.

 

[puffy]

DD sound like this is a totally normal phase for kids to go through. he''ll get through it and he''ll be back to his normal sleeping habits before you know it. B was rolling by this time, and he would roll in his sleep from his back to belly all the time, but he loved to sleep on his belly, and he could roll back if he needed to, so i wasn''t too worried about him. and we have a video monitor. and i was not about to mess with his sleep since he was STTN at 6 weeks.
just let him practice rolling around as much as possible during the day and before you know it, when he rolls over, he won''t scream for help, he''ll just roll back if he isn''t comfy.

 

[mia1181]

I''m joining this late, and probably getting a little off topic. But about vomiting:

I did know a little baby who made herself vomit to get her parents to come get her. It does happen and not just when parents are being neglectful or letting the baby scream for hours. It''s a learned behavior, just like banging heads or other things that babies/toddlers do. The first time it happens accidentally (maybe baby got a little worked up, maybe it was just from eating) and the baby sees that it is the golden ticket to get Mom''s attention. Mom freaks out when she sees it and rushes to baby. Baby thinks "aha! this is how I get her to come." Later it becomes an almost natural response. The little girl I knew literally just started crying and it would come out. The answer was honestly to just "ignore" it and the behavior stopped.

Now when I say "ignore" I mean what T-Gal referenced early about the rolling issue. No you don''t let the baby sleep in vomit all night, but you also can''t pick her up and "Rescue her" either. So you go in very seriously, with little emotion. I personally would say something to the baby about you still need to sleep and then you clean baby as much as possible and they still have to stay in crib.

My Older Charge had brain damage, so hers is obviously a different situation but for a while she was a head-banger. If she got upset she would instantly throw herself back with a force you wouldn''t believe and her head would hit the ground BANG!. She doesn''t walk so this was from a sitting position. Anyway, her parents would gasp each time and then they would go through lengths of constantly keeping pillows behind her or sitting her on gym mats so she wouldn''t hurt herself. Well I let her bang herself a few times without reacting and she NEVER did it in my presence again. But when mom and and dad came home she would go back to doing it. As soon as I taught them to not react, she stopped doing it with them too. Not saying this is exactly the same thing, but my point is sometimes kids do engage in self-injurious (sp?) behaviors because they know it pushes the right buttons on mom and dad.

Anyway back to rolling- I personally recommend trying the positioner first (glad it''s working so far DD!) But if it doesn''t work you just have to do what T-Gal said and quietly go in flip him back. No big deal. It''s a phase and it will pass. Oh and one other suggestion: I would try and work on rolling a lot during the day. Hopefully he''ll get comfortable enough that it won''t jar him so much at night (although I think I remember you saying he was already good at tummy-to-back).

 

[Jas12]

Mia--i fully get you point--you ignore the bad, praise the good. It works great for tantrums as well and I am sure it''ll transfer to sleep issues. But IMO not in the case of a nursing 4 month old. They aren''t manipulating quite yet and if they are, they must *really* want that attention.


DD--Other than puting Co to bed at the same time each night, swaddling etc. (environmental stuff) I couldn''t honestly think about real behavioural sleep training until i was sure Co was nursing enough to get through the night (i just hated the thought of him being thirsty or hungry in the night and me ignoring him) so when we started solids (around 5 mos) i started ''training'' after that. For us, all i had to do was slowly decrease the amount of time he spent at the breast each feeding, slowly omitting feedings until i was down to one feeding that was 10, then 8, then 5, then 2 mins long until i knew he could go the night without eating. He clued in and started sleeping the full 12 hours. It was gentle and worked.
I am using the same approach to daytime weaning. (i ve been decreasing the number and duration of feeds over several months)

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/29/2009 11:38:27 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker

HaHa that is nothing compaired to what some parents say to me in real life

. Like PP said, we tell parents they at some point need to let their kids ''cry it out'' but I would never tell a parent to let a kid cry to the point of vomiting. I also tell the parents they need to check on them, but on those couple nights, not to pick them up. We usually tell parents to do it over a weekend because it is an all night thing. I don''t think there is any set age to do this. What I say is that nutritionally, a baby who is growing NORMALLY, can go all night without eating at 4 mo. If at that age they are eating at night it is for confront and not nutrition. So I would not do it any earlier than that. I advise they do it before they can walk, because things get a whole lot harder after that. However, the neurologist at our program doesn''t believe in this at all (her kids are almost 2 and she never did it), she feels babies need to know they are cared for when they are distressed. I don''t fully agree, I think there is a delicate balance between learned helplessness and being spoiled, but you can see these are just different parenting techniques.

I have heard these guidlines about 4mo and not needing a night feed anymore, but when I asked my doc about it he thought that Hunter is a large baby and not particularly fat (70th percentile length, 45th percentile weight) and s ohe probably still needs that nighttime feed. I guess because there is no clear "winner" in thise debate, my feeling is the err on the side of caution and keep feeding him at night when he wants it. I think that it will come to a CIO scenerio in a couple more months though.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Puffy We are definitely going to work on the rolling thing in the day!

Mia You are completely right about older children. My friends'' daughter also did the head banging thing

She ignored it and it went away in about a week. And you will be happy to know the sleep positioner works great! Hunter loves it! I think he feels more secure being "hugged" while he sleeps, he was after all a swaddled baby. But alas, he still woke 2x last night

Ah well, he is still little.

Jas I think I will try your suggestion when Hunter is about 5-6 mo and starts solids. Like Co, Hunter is a larger baby without a huge amount of fat reserves, I suspect he needs his nighttime feed right now. He usually drinks a full meal at the 3-4 am wake up. The 1am wakeup he occassionally throws in is for comfort I suspect, but like you I can''t bear the thought of him being thirsty! We actually plan to start having DH give him a bottle of ecpressed milk around 11pm to perhaps avoid th early morning wake up and give me more sleep!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Those are just general guidelines, you and your doctor know your babies situation best. I would never apply this to the babies who''s growth I am watching really closely. I want them eating when they are hungry.

I hope he gets over this soon. I actually learned a lot of things on here I am going to use in the future

 

[Jas12]

DD--i felt the same way about Co. He was eating full meals at 3 am. It was not a comfort thing (his comfort nursing, which still occasionally happens in the night is a very brief, sleepy nursing session ) . 4 mos is such a transition age. Our boys, which were a good size at birth and are not supplemented need *a lot* of milk. We thought Co might need solids before 6 mos and sure enough, when we started at 5 mos he had zero issues both digestively and with the mechanics of it. It didn''t result in him STTN right away, but it gave me more confidence when i did start the night weaning that he had a full belly at bed time.
That''s why these things are guidelines. Not every kid will be ready to STTN at 4 mos, even if science says so.
I am a firm believer in mixing guidelines with instinct.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/30/2009 10:57:33 AM
Author: Jas12
DD--i felt the same way about Co. He was eating full meals at 3 am. It was not a comfort thing (his comfort nursing, which still occasionally happens in the night is a very brief, sleepy nursing session ) . 4 mos is such a transition age. Our boys, which were a good size at birth and are not supplemented need *a lot* of milk. We thought Co might need solids before 6 mos and sure enough, when we started at 5 mos he had zero issues both digestively and with the mechanics of it. It didn''t result in him STTN right away, but it gave me more confidence when i did start the night weaning that he had a full belly at bed time.
That''s why these things are guidelines. Not every kid will be ready to STTN at 4 mos, even if science says so.
I am a firm believer in mixing guidelines with instinct.

Good to hear you had a similar path with Co, since our boys seem similar in many ways. The doc suggested solids around 5mo, so maybe we will start around then. I often feel like I don''t have enough milk for Hunter, he feeds so often! Every 2 hours in the day and then 1 or two times at night! LOL! But I guess there is enough since he is gaining close to an oz. per day and has since birth.

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 6/30/2009 9:25:26 AM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Puffy We are definitely going to work on the rolling thing in the day!

Mia You are completely right about older children. My friends'' daughter also did the head banging thing

She ignored it and it went away in about a week. And you will be happy to know the sleep positioner works great! Hunter loves it! I think he feels more secure being ''hugged'' while he sleeps, he was after all a swaddled baby. But alas, he still woke 2x last night

Ah well, he is still little.

Jas I think I will try your suggestion when Hunter is about 5-6 mo and starts solids. Like Co, Hunter is a larger baby without a huge amount of fat reserves, I suspect he needs his nighttime feed right now. He usually drinks a full meal at the 3-4 am wake up. The 1am wakeup he occassionally throws in is for comfort I suspect, but like you I can''t bear the thought of him being thirsty! We actually plan to start having DH give him a bottle of ecpressed milk around 11pm to perhaps avoid th early morning wake up and give me more sleep!

DD, do you feed him right before you go to bed? I try to feed George right before I fall asleep for the night - if I just brush his cheek with my nipple, he''ll root and latch on without waking up. It tops him off enough that I generally only wake up once to feed him during the night. Just a thought.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/30/2009 1:26:45 PM
Author: Blenheim

DD, do you feed him right before you go to bed? I try to feed George right before I fall asleep for the night - if I just brush his cheek with my nipple, he''ll root and latch on without waking up. It tops him off enough that I generally only wake up once to feed him during the night. Just a thought.

In the past I have tried this but couldn''t wake him! LOL! Maybe I will try again.

 

[mia1181]

Date: 6/30/2009 8:56:41 AM
Author: Jas12
Mia--i fully get you point--you ignore the bad, praise the good. It works great for tantrums as well and I am sure it''ll transfer to sleep issues. But IMO not in the case of a nursing 4 month old. They aren''t manipulating quite yet and if they are, they must *really* want that attention.

Oh yeah, I wasn''t talking about DD''s baby specifically.... Just the vomiting because others brought it up... For DD I thought she should try the positioner and if that didn''t work go in and flip him. I personally wouldn''t be comfortable ignoring a baby that young, who had flipped on to his tummy because of the SIDS risk.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Does anybody have a link to one of these positioners? I would like to see a pic. I am curious if these are a bigger SIDS risk than letting the be on their bellies on a firm mattress. There are so many bogus baby products on the market, you have to be careful. Just for my own learning.

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 6/30/2009 6:33:43 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker
Does anybody have a link to one of these positioners? I would like to see a pic. I am curious if these are a bigger SIDS risk than letting the be on their bellies on a firm mattress. There are so many bogus baby products on the market, you have to be careful. Just for my own learning.

Here are several- I think this is what people are talking about.
http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=sleep%20positioner&origkw=sleep%20positioner&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2255957&sr=1

 

[Dreamer_D]

We got this one: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2341851

I''m curious what you think Ltl! He rests with it snug around his hips, the bumpers are about 6 inches each.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 6/30/2009 6:57:08 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
We got this one: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2341851


I''m curious what you think Ltl! He rests with it snug around his hips, the bumpers are about 6 inches each.

Uh...those look like pillows to me, so they are a potential risk. I checked out some of the official guidelines. The AAP does not recommend these (and they make the SIDS guidelines we all follow), although scientific data was lacking. Just looking at them, I would be more worried at a slightly older age (6 months) when they have improved motor skills, I could see potential entrapment issues. Doubt it would happen, but I of course am trained to match products to the developmental skills and look for hazards.

Now, going away from my professional side to my personal side. I think this is all very interesting because my BF''s sister is a control freak when it comes to sleeping. She read this book, and had her kids sleeping though the night by 2 months. She keeps them on a VERY tight schedule. And she won''t let them sleep in the room with her. When we were all crammed into his parents house, she put the younger one in the walk in closet to get the idea of another room. My BF things this book was God''s gift to the world, and wants to follow it. I am all for a schedule, but I told him I think 2 months is too early and that both of her kids have an easy temperament and are in the 95th percentile weight for age. I also found out later she stopped BF because her supply ran out, and then I just found out she had to pump because she could not get them to latch. I was always wondering how she BF without doing it around the clock for the first 2 weeks. Anyways, I am always looking for some evidence to support my opinion because my BF doesn''t really care that my career evolves around babies.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/30/2009 7:37:10 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker


Uh...those look like pillows to me, so they are a potential risk. I checked out some of the official guidelines. The AAP does not recommend these (and they make the SIDS guidelines we all follow), although scientific data was lacking. Just looking at them, I would be more worried at a slightly older age (6 months) when they have improved motor skills, I could see potential entrapment issues. Doubt it would happen, but I of course am trained to match products to the developmental skills and look for hazards.

They are actually hard shells that are wrapped in terry cloth. So there is a plastic mesh that is shaped into the "pillow" shape, and then terry cloth is wrapped around them leaving the ends open. It is hard for me to imagine given their hardness that a child could suffocate on them, since they are not pliable at all, but what do I know? There is a 4 inch stretch of fabric connecting the two hard "pillow" ends, and that could definitely be a wrapping hazard for older kids.

You know, we follow all the SIDS guidlines as far as I know, but somehow babies seem to present new issues. For example, Hunter sleeps in a sleep sak (bag that zips and leaves his arms out), which is supposed to be the safe thing to use. Well when I put him down tonight he was pulling the fabric at his chest up to his face to bunch it up in his mouth and suck on!

You can''t win.

Date: 6/30/2009 7:37:10 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker

Now, going away from my professional side to my personal side. I think this is all very interesting because my BF''s sister is a control freak when it comes to sleeping. She read this book, and had her kids sleeping though the night by 2 months. She keeps them on a VERY tight schedule. And she won''t let them sleep in the room with her. When we were all crammed into his parents house, she put the younger one in the walk in closet to get the idea of another room. My BF things this book was God''s gift to the world, and wants to follow it. I am all for a schedule, but I told him I think 2 months is too early and that both of her kids have an easy temperament and are in the 95th percentile weight for age. I also found out later she stopped BF because her supply ran out, and then I just found out she had to pump because she could not get them to latch. I was always wondering how she BF without doing it around the clock for the first 2 weeks. Anyways, I am always looking for some evidence to support my opinion because my BF doesn''t really care that my career evolves around babies.

LOL! If you told me only these three things about your BF''s sis -- that she followed a sleep training regimen, that her baby''s had easy temperaments, and that they were 95th percentile for weight -- and then asked me what determined her childrens behaviour, I would say 80% the temperament and wegiht, and maybe... *maybe*... 20% her sleep training schedule. I''m a psychologist as are most of my friends, and we all just accept that our children''s biological predispositions -- size, emotional reactivity, temperment etc. -- play the largest role in determining how they sleep in the begining. Heck it determines most everything early on! Their capacity for learning is fairly basic in those early months. Sure there are things we can do to help or hinder their natural tendancies, but in the end sometimes I wonder if all our efforts are just a show to make us feel the illusion of control? Hunter has an easy temperament, my friends all laugh at me and tell me to shut my yap when I dare to complain about anything

, and sometimes I think that if he was reared by monkeys he would sleep just as well and behave the same way

But I keep trying because I like to feel like I am *doing* something, and I do believe routine is important in the longer run. Plus, that extra 20% of variance is an important 20%, and if I didn''t try I could muck up his angelic predisposition! But look at me! I am an incredibly organized, focussed, and patient woman, and yet my angel baby still goes cukoo every couple of weeks. If the book isn''t working 100% for me, then really, it is not user friendly at all

You know, your BF may just need to see for herself that there is only so much you can do.. provide a calm and structured environment and try your best to meet their needs, reward the good and ignore the bad. But babies are not the most complient little creatures... more like puppies or other unruly animals. Let her try! Why not? But then if she has an easy baby you will have to let her say, ''I told you so!"

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Well I told him that the second one would probably turn out to be a colicky because so many parents told me that the first one was easy and the second one was not...and I was wrong. Her son is the sweetest most easy going thing ever. So now this has worked for two kids, and BF is convinced it can work for anybody. I totally agree with you that most of it is the baby and some is the parent. I have a degree in human development, which is a lot of psych (I could talk about child development all day if someone would listen). I think I told my BF that babies are people and they influence your parenting style as much as you influence them. But he gets lost with the whole temperament thing. I also tried telling him that not all kids at the top of the growth curve, and some kids have medical problems that require there parents to come and check on them frequently. My point is that what works for one parent does not always work for another....maybe he is starting to listen...but he loves the idea of sleeping through the night with a baby.

Anyways, the fact those bumpers are hard makes me feel a little better about them, as long as he can''t kick them or pick them up. But I will still tell parents to let their kids roll over and not loose sleep over it (if the baby lets you!). I actually learned (while looking up the bumpers) that sleeping prone when a baby is not used to every ping prone is a risk factor for SIDS, and that is another reason for tummy time. I always was taught it was just to develop the muscles so they would meet their milestones (after back to sleep started kids started rolling over about 1 month late). I didn''t realize that tummy time while awake reduced the risk of SIDS. So many parents fight me on tummy time, so maybe that will help!

 

[Dreamer_D]

LtL Opps I was reading BF as "best friend" not "boy friend"

haha... so this matters for YOU! Don''t worry, you will be doing almost all the baby care anyways in the early months, no matter how egalitarin your relationship

, and he will realize within days that everything you are saying now is correct! LOL! Not worth the effort of trying to convince him now I would think. Its one of those things you have to see. And maybe you too will have easy babies! If his sisters kids are. Oh, and the "second one more colicky" thing I think is wrong statistically. I think the numbers say that first babies are more likely to be "difficult", which some attribute to the parents being less easy going, but I could be wrong. When you have an easy baby, though, everyone Loooooooves to tell you how your next one will be a terror

Drives me bonkers!

Good about the sleep positioner. We are using them not because I worry about him sleeping on his tummy -- he does lots of tummy time each day and seems to be very strong; its amazing really, he lays on his mummy with his feet in the air swimming ans his arms pulled up off the ground too! I couldn''t get into that position and hold it for 10 minutes like he does! -- but because when we try to put him down to just writhes all over and ends up on his tummy then can''t get back

Once he figured our front to back again then we will stop using them.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 7/1/2009 12:52:29 AM
Author: LtlFirecracker
Anyways, the fact those bumpers are hard makes me feel a little better about them, as long as he can''t kick them or pick them up. But I will still tell parents to let their kids roll over and not loose sleep over it (if the baby lets you!). I actually learned (while looking up the bumpers) that sleeping prone when a baby is not used to every ping prone is a risk factor for SIDS, and that is another reason for tummy time. I always was taught it was just to develop the muscles so they would meet their milestones (after back to sleep started kids started rolling over about 1 month late). I didn''t realize that tummy time while awake reduced the risk of SIDS. So many parents fight me on tummy time, so maybe that will help!

Why is this, is it because their kids hate it? Hunter used to but now he loves it...

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Yeah, they say that they cry so they just don''t do it.

I know he will have to see for himself. I told him when the time came I would read the book, but that my education level is probably the same as the author''s so I was going to take liberty to disagree with parts of it. I also told him I want to breast feed, and that would mean feeding around the clock for at least the first 2 weeks. I also scare him with extreame examples at work whenever they come up of mothers not feeding their kids at night and some not good things happening from that

. I know the second baby being colicky isn''t always true (although it was for me and my sister), but I was getting annoyed about him talking about this stupid book, so I just said that to shut him up. I clearly had to eat my words.

I hope you little one gets over this soon . I love the infants in this age range (4-8mos). They are always doing something new, but not so mobile that you are running after them every minute. I just had a 4 mo old in the clinic today, I''ve known the mother for just over 2 years. She was smiling, pulling her head up, reaching for everything. It was really cute.

 

[gailrmv]

I''ve been following this thread with interest because my son is just a month younger than DD''s! We are having our own sleep issues with naptime.

DD, we have that exact sleep positioner. I was using it a lot in the beginning because I thought it helped him feel more cozy in his crib. I hope it helps you guys!

LtlFirecracker, hello sapphire friend!! Hope you are doing well!!! I am curious, do you know the name of this book that your BF''s sister is so enthralled with? Is it Babywise by any chance? I''ve read it - apparently it is very controversial. I found a few things useful but some other things harsh.

I''m not a medical professional, just a new mom, but it seems to me that every kid is different. The books are helpful, but reading too much can be overwhelming, confusing and some books are guilt-inducing!!! I don''t think that any one set of recommendations or "plan" is going to work for every kid. Of course, it is important to follow all the safety stuff, but when it comes to soothing, sleeping, schedules etc, I think there is a lot of trial and error to find out what works for you!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 7/1/2009 10:28:57 PM
Author: TanDogMom
I''ve been following this thread with interest because my son is just a month younger than DD''s! We are having our own sleep issues with naptime.


DD, we have that exact sleep positioner. I was using it a lot in the beginning because I thought it helped him feel more cozy in his crib. I hope it helps you guys!


LtlFirecracker, hello sapphire friend!! Hope you are doing well!!! I am curious, do you know the name of this book that your BF''s sister is so enthralled with? Is it Babywise by any chance? I''ve read it - apparently it is very controversial. I found a few things useful but some other things harsh.


I''m not a medical professional, just a new mom, but it seems to me that every kid is different. The books are helpful, but reading too much can be overwhelming, confusing and some books are guilt-inducing!!! I don''t think that any one set of recommendations or ''plan'' is going to work for every kid. Of course, it is important to follow all the safety stuff, but when it comes to soothing, sleeping, schedules etc, I think there is a lot of trial and error to find out what works for you!

Hey there, it has been awhile. Congrats on the new baby!

You know what, she is on Facebook. I will ask her the name of the book. I know she will be more than happy to share it with me.

I totally agree with everything in the last paragraph. You totally said exactly what I have been thinking about this whole situation.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

TanDogMom

That is the name of the book.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 7/2/2009 9:56:04 AM
Author: LtlFirecracker
TanDogMom


That is the name of the book.

Ltlfirecracker, when you said she thought it was God's gift to the world, did you mean that literally? Apparently, there is a religious version and a non religious version of the book. There is a pediatrician co-author but it sounds like the other guy (with kind of dubious credentials) is the main author. http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/ezzo-babywise-controversy-101.htm this site talks about the controversy. It sounds like maybe previous versions of the book were harsher than the current edition. I know a lot of people who rave about it (including one of my doctor friends). I had mixed thoughts, though. Some of it sounded smart (like don't assume the baby is hungry every time he cries, and try to have a loose routine of eat-play-sleep) but if taken too far, it seemed kind of harsh. My style is more flexible I guess. On the other side of the fence is the "attachment parenting". I find that I agree with some of their principles (breastfeeding, baby wearing) but some of their philosophies do not work for me (co-sleeping, avoiding vaccines - don't even get me started on that one). I find their literature very judgmental of people who don't see it all their way. After reading lots of books and feeling stressed/anxious about lots of what I was reading in the early days, I'm finally feeling more confident about my own parenting and taking what works from various sources, and ignoring the rest. My favorite book so far is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth who is a physician with good credentials. Call me old fashioned but I'd much rather take my advice from an MD than from a random self-declared "expert." His book seems grounded in research and he often presents multiple approaches to problems within his basic framework. His advice generally sits well with me.

Hope this wasn't too rambly!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 7/2/2009 9:15:57 PM
Author: TanDogMom

Date: 7/2/2009 9:56:04 AM

Author: LtlFirecracker

TanDogMom



That is the name of the book.

Ltlfirecracker, when you said she thought it was God''s gift to the world, did you mean that literally? Apparently, there is a religious version and a non religious version of the book. There is a pediatrician co-author but it sounds like the other guy (with kind of dubious credentials) is the main author. http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/ezzo-babywise-controversy-101.htm this site talks about the controversy. It sounds like maybe previous versions of the book were harsher than the current edition. I know a lot of people who rave about it (including one of my doctor friends). I had mixed thoughts, though. Some of it sounded smart (like don''t assume the baby is hungry every time he cries, and try to have a loose routine of eat-play-sleep) but if taken too far, it seemed kind of harsh. My style is more flexible I guess. On the other side of the fence is the ''attachment parenting''. I find that I agree with some of their principles (breastfeeding, baby wearing) but some of their philosophies do not work for me (co-sleeping, avoiding vaccines - don''t even get me started on that one). I find their literature very judgmental of people who don''t see it all their way. After reading lots of books and feeling stressed/anxious about lots of what I was reading in the early days, I''m finally feeling more confident about my own parenting and taking what works from various sources, and ignoring the rest. My favorite book so far is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth who is a physician with good credentials. Call me old fashioned but I''d much rather take my advice from an MD than from a random self-declared ''expert.'' His book seems grounded in research and he often presents multiple approaches to problems within his basic framework. His advice generally sits well with me.


Hope this wasn''t too rambly!

No, that was a figure of speech. I didn''t realize there are two versions. It sounds like I am going to have to read this, and a few others. There are some that are considered good, and some not considered so good. I think that the rigid nature of this schedule is what turns me off about it. I am all for structure. But life is not rigid, and I have to adjust my sleep schedule for unexpected events sometimes, why should I create an artificial world for my kids where their are no exceptions. I mean there is another thread about a sick baby, and what to do. I think parents need to comfort their sick baby. I sure would comfort mine. The immunizations is interesting. Does the book statue you should avoid immunizations? For awhile BF''s sister was doing the "give a few immunizations at a time" schedule. She is back to the normal schedule now, which I am happy about.

I will look into Weissbluth book. It sounds like something I would be more interested in. Although I am not going to have kids yet. All of this with his sister just got me thinking about the issue because I needed a way to defend my position other than "because I think my way is right." Thanks for the info.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 7/6/2009 12:53:32 AM
Author: LtlFirecracker

Date: 7/2/2009 9:15:57 PM

Author: TanDogMom

Date: 7/2/2009 9:56:04 AM


Author: LtlFirecracker


TanDogMom




That is the name of the book.

Ltlfirecracker, when you said she thought it was God''s gift to the world, did you mean that literally? Apparently, there is a religious version and a non religious version of the book. There is a pediatrician co-author but it sounds like the other guy (with kind of dubious credentials) is the main author. http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/ezzo-babywise-controversy-101.htm this site talks about the controversy. It sounds like maybe previous versions of the book were harsher than the current edition. I know a lot of people who rave about it (including one of my doctor friends). I had mixed thoughts, though. Some of it sounded smart (like don''t assume the baby is hungry every time he cries, and try to have a loose routine of eat-play-sleep) but if taken too far, it seemed kind of harsh. My style is more flexible I guess. On the other side of the fence is the ''attachment parenting''. I find that I agree with some of their principles (breastfeeding, baby wearing) but some of their philosophies do not work for me (co-sleeping, avoiding vaccines - don''t even get me started on that one). I find their literature very judgmental of people who don''t see it all their way. After reading lots of books and feeling stressed/anxious about lots of what I was reading in the early days, I''m finally feeling more confident about my own parenting and taking what works from various sources, and ignoring the rest. My favorite book so far is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth who is a physician with good credentials. Call me old fashioned but I''d much rather take my advice from an MD than from a random self-declared ''expert.'' His book seems grounded in research and he often presents multiple approaches to problems within his basic framework. His advice generally sits well with me.



Hope this wasn''t too rambly!

No, that was a figure of speech. I didn''t realize there are two versions. It sounds like I am going to have to read this, and a few others. There are some that are considered good, and some not considered so good. I think that the rigid nature of this schedule is what turns me off about it. I am all for structure. But life is not rigid, and I have to adjust my sleep schedule for unexpected events sometimes, why should I create an artificial world for my kids where their are no exceptions. I mean there is another thread about a sick baby, and what to do. I think parents need to comfort their sick baby. I sure would comfort mine. The immunizations is interesting. Does the book statue you should avoid immunizations? For awhile BF''s sister was doing the ''give a few immunizations at a time'' schedule. She is back to the normal schedule now, which I am happy about.


I will look into Weissbluth book. It sounds like something I would be more interested in. Although I am not going to have kids yet. All of this with his sister just got me thinking about the issue because I needed a way to defend my position other than ''because I think my way is right.'' Thanks for the info.

I think you might want to read the book for both personal and professional reasons! It''s a very quick read. You could skim it in 2 hours probably. I really don''t think the current edition of the book (the nonreligious version) is that bad, but I could see it being too harsh if taken to extreme. That''s interesting, i don''t remember anything about vaccines in Babywise, but that is a big deal for the "attachment parents" - who follow the Dr Sears books. The attachment parenting and the Babywise school of thoughts tend to be opposite so it sounds like your BF''s sister has picked up some of both. I have not read up on the official vaccine position of the attachment parents so I can''t comment on it specifically. I follow my pediatrician''s schedule (the AAP schedule). I am REALLY concerned about all the people who are delaying or avoiding vaccines. I think it''s dangerous for their own kids as well as other kids - MY kid - who could be exposed to things he''s not old enough to be vaccinated for yet.

I agree with everything you said about comforting your kid, and being flexible etc. At this point, that is my JOB as a mom, in my opinion! I think you would like the Weissbluth book much better, at least I did. It is more balanced and scientific.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Sorry, I didn''t realize there was so much Dr. Sears stuff out there. I have heard about components of the attachment theory (like co-bedding), but never in the context of the theory. It is more like "Dr Sears talks about doing this...." As for BF sister, she did not get the immunizations info from that book. She got it from her Chiropractor and one of her friends. She was already back on the normal schedule when I talked to her about it, but I stressed she was doing the right thing. I don''t think parents realize how bad these diseases are.

Right now I am focused on my up coming boards, which does not include popular parenting books. I think I am going to start going though these parent books once this test is over. I do want to read them. I like to know what the parents are learning about.