Mutant Hair from Nowhere?

[Circe]

I am bucking for The Weirdest Thread Award. Kenny, DF, defend yourselves!

Once in a while - like, maybe once every three years or so - I will find a Mutant Hair. A Mutant Hair is a ridiculously long, ridiculously fine hair growing in a place where hair normally does not grow. Once it was the bridge of my nose: a few times, a cheekbone; just now, along my jaw.

I understand that no-one is hairless, and eventually I will probably join the ranks of those who wax, but this is ridiculous! I would like to imagine that I am observant enough that I would notice a damned hair growing on the bridge of my nose before it managed to pass the inch-long mark! My best guess is that they sproing! out of nowhere, but ... why?

Does anybody know what I'm talking about, or are y'all going to look at me funny now?

 

[Indylady]

Circe, am I having serious deja vu, or have I seen a similar thread before?

 

[oobiecoo]

I have these occasionally! Mine are usually thick though. DH and I were walking through the mall and he stopped me and attempted to brush a pick a long white hair off of my face. I screamed because it was attached!!! I've had a few of those lately from the pregnancy hormones but its definitely not a new occurrence.

 

[Echidna]

I read you loud and clear, Circe. I had one mutant hair on my jaw line. Made me very paranoid for a while, but I think it really was mutant because it has not yet reappeared...

 

[Cehrabehra]

Circe, am I having serious deja vu, or have I seen a similar thread before?

lol I started one a while back - I am still religiously pulling my cyclops and two billy goats lol

 

[oddoneout]

I hear you about mutant hairs. I figure it's just nature working her magic and pluck them out.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

For me what's worse than the mutant hair itself is the fact that I didn't see it for who-knows-how-long. So then I start thinking "OMG, did everybody on earth see this hair? When I was presenting in that meeting this morning, did everybody think to themselves 'Look at that crazy mutant hair growing out of NEL's cheek?' ". If they want to grow, that's fine, I always have tweezers on hand, but they can't just grow out of nowhere like that--I need to know where they are going to appear so I can tackle them before they get out of hand.

 

[Tuckins1]

Circe, I have the same thing happen to me!!! Every so often I will find some wild hair, usually along my jaw/chin... My grandma has them too, I wonder if it's genetic.

 

[diamondringlover]

I got one that grows on my neck, I pull it and it grows back the only good thing as since I am old the hair has gone from dark brown to gray, lol so I usually see it before someone else does.

 

[Nashville]

Ummmmmm.... yeah, I definitely get these! They started when I was El Preggo and haven't stopped. Usually they are on my jaw or under my chin. They come up seemingly overnight and they are black (I've got light brown hair) and gross. I invested in some nice tweezers.

 

[decodelighted]

I found two right near my adam's apple yesterday. Mutant Whities. GAH! That's a spot I never even think to check so god knows how long they'd been there. I've had the Mutant Cheek and several persistent Mutant Chins. DH gets a crazy billygoat eyebrow hair. Do I need to invest in one of those fancy hotel style multi-magnifying-mirror set ups? Or just go native?

 

[kenny]

Don't feel bad, Bo Derek had that problem too according to Roseanne Roseannadanna.

Here's part of a SNL skit with Gilda Radner, as Roseanne Roseannadanna, and Jane Curtain.

Roseanne Roseannadanna: Thanks a lot, Jane! Thanks a lot!

I hate it when people try all these tricks to make themselves look like real hot chic. With grain, a lot of eye make-up, or those ladies who corn-roll their hair like a lot of little braids, and hang Lifesavers and lights and buttons and feathers and little stuff from Toys-R-Us on the bottom of it, and their heads are clanking around, and they look like curtains at a gypsy's house!

Why, just recently, I was in Tiffany's exchanging this silver-plated letter opener that NBC gave me for Christmas - $12, thanks a lot. When, who do I see leaning over one of the counters, but Miss perfect 10 herself - Bo Derek! You know, that curvy-smurvy new movie star that everybody's getting all hot and bothered about, and I don't know why? 'Cause I'm standing there, when, all of a sudeen, Miss Perfect 10 Lady sneezes. Not like a cute, dainty little sneeze, but a real blast-o one! Miss Perfect 10 fogged up half the glass counters in Tiffany's!

So, what does she do? She opens her perfect little purse, and takes out a perfect little Kleenex, and dobs her perfect ltitle face and then throws the perfect little Kleenex into the perfect little ball, and when she wiped off her nose, she didn't push back in this one little perfect little nose hair. It just stuck out there! It was long and it was black and it was perfect, and I thought I was gonna die!

Just between you and me, Roseanne Roseannadanna, I felt like yanking down two more hairs, braiding them and putting a bead at the end! Then, her nose would have looked like her hair. So I yelled, "Hey, Bo! Shove that hair back up your nose! What are you trying to do, make me sick?"

Jane Curtin: Roseanne..

Roseanne Roseannadanna: "You think you're so neat, huh..?!"

Jane Curtin: Roseanne.. Roseanne! It's really disgusting, you're making me sick, okay?

Roseanne Roseannadanna: What's your problem?

Jane Curtin: You're straying from the subject, and you're making everybody nauseous!

 

[movie zombie]

changes in hormones result in one, two, then over time a forest of mutant hairs.....sigh.

MoZo

 

[Imdanny]

It's a function of aging. There's some kind of weird, genetic time bomb, from the days when we had fur, that says "hair grow in strange place now".

It never happened to me when I was young. Now that I'm early middled aged, I've definitely noticed it.

There a hair that grows out of my ear, not my face, no, my earlobe, two, in fact, on one each side, and a few on the back of my neck and on my shoulders.

I think it's disgusting, but it happens, yes. I try to pull these hairs out whenever I can.

 

[Indylady]

Circe, am I having serious deja vu, or have I seen a similar thread before?

lol I started one a while back - I am still religiously pulling my cyclops and two billy goats lol

Thank you Cehra! I was starting to get worried I imagined the whole thing since no one else mentioned the other thread.

 

[MissMina]

I have one on my chin
I first discovered it while I was in my BFs bathroom
It was a good inch long and black
Thankfully he had some tweezers in his medicine cabinet
or I would still be hiding in there
Now it is thin and white but I still see it occasionally.

Also ladies check the back of your thighs.
I have found several very long hairs there and
never would have known if I hadn't felt them

 

[Circe]

So it's NOT just me - relief! And I'm amused that it's enough of a "thing" that this caused deja vu.

See, my theory (I have a newly-minted Ph.D. in Extrapolating Nonsense) is that there are two kinds of Mutant Hairs. The first kind is the normal, comes with age kind. These Mutants can be classified as Dracula Hairs: they will rise again ... and again ... and again ... and again, and nothing short of repeated electrolysis is going to kill them. The second kind of Mutant Hair, in my experience, is not age-related at all: the weird hair on the bridge of my nose? That was when I was a teen! As if I didn't have enough to worry about at that age .... Anyway. I dub the 2nd subtype of mutant hair the Will o'the Wisp: it flickers in and out of existence when you least expect it, is easily banished, and yet, nevertheless, terrifying.

Stupid hair. Also, I believe this random dude captures the terror that is random hair on his website .... http://www.izzlepfaff.com/blog/archives/2003/09/we_face_follicular_armageddon.php

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

I had one on my cheek last week that I kept seeing out of the corner of my eye. It was driving me crazy! I could barely even see it to pluck it.

 

[TooPatient]

I have one on my chin
I first discovered it while I was in my BFs bathroom
It was a good inch long and black
Thankfully he had some tweezers in his medicine cabinet
or I would still be hiding in there
Now it is thin and white but I still see it occasionally.

Also ladies check the back of your thighs.
I have found several very long hairs there and
never would have known if I hadn't felt them

When does that happen?!?!?!?

I don't want to get old . I remember sittin on the couch watching Grandma pluck hairs from random bits of her face with a stack of magnifying mirrors.... I don't want to have magnifying mirrors

I've recently (in the last year or so) discovered 2 thick black hairs (I'm nearly blonde) -- one on a cheek and one under my chin -- that keep growing back......


So....
How do you check the back of your thighs?

 

[partgypsy]

I get those too. When I was young it was my job to pluck yaya's hairs from her chin, so I should have known it was coming. The weirdest one's I've been getting, is mutant hairs on my scalp! My hair is straight dark blonde, but I'll look at myself and sometimes see a hair sticking straight up out of my hair. If I pluck it is is darker, thicker, and often has a curl to it. Creepy! So instead of getting gray hairs with age, I'm getting black hairs.

 

[Scorpioanne]

I found one on my right shoulder when I was 14. It was fine and blonde and I am a brunette. I pulled it out and it grew back a couple of times but hasn't since. wierd!

 

[MissMina]

A mirror helps with the thigh hairs
or ask someone you really trust

I thought as I got older I would get lots of mutant hairs but it's just the same few

 

[Lurchie]

Yup. I have a MH growing out of my forehead. Never noticed it until I felt like there was something in my eye that I couldn't see - crazy-making! Totally different from the black chin (and ahem, other) hairs. A warning - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PLUCK MUTANT HAIR! It hurts like heck. I just cut mine back until it starts bothering me. It's so fine and blonde (I'm a brunette, btw) that no one sees it but me.

Lovely.