Much ado about Dancing...

[Mashira]

Well, in my engagement haze, I decided to get on Facebook and view the wedding albums of some friends that were recently married.
I noticed that the majority of photos were taken during the dancing portion with a crowded dance floor, hilarious moves, and smiling faces. This got me thinking.

I love to dance, and have always loved to dance. FI isn't a big dancer, but has the ability, and the will to learn. Our guest list is 75 people. We are expecting about 60 to attend. Of those 60 people, I would say maybe four people are enthusiastic about dancing. Everyone else... most likely not. Also, FI's extended family and my extended family have not and will not meet, so there is bound to be a bit of awkwardness.

I'm middle eastern, and though I was not 'raised in the culture' per se, I have always known and expected weddings to be a festival of joy and dancing with tons of people and extended family. While I would love this sort of wedding, it's just not in the cards for me (mainly because our budget couldn't possibly handle all of my mothers 20 brothers and sisters to attend with their children. It would end up being over 100 people on my side alone!)

So.. now I'm a tad bit worried that I'll only have say eight or ten people on the dance floor the whole night. Granted, ten people is 1/6th of the whole crowd... I'm concerned because I'm not entirely sure this translates into a 'fun' reception. I don't want our guests to be bored, and I certainly don't want the reception to be boring. Or (stomach does a flip) people to leave early due to disinterest in dancing the night away. I'm not sure what to do about this, or if I should even be worried about it. Thoughts? Opinions?

I think I could really use some encouragement. I've managed to convince myself that the whole thing is going to be a bust. I've got myself all worked up over nothing, and I know it, but I don't know how to make the feeling go away!

 

[sirbenson]

Well not sure if this will help you at all but here are my thoughts on my own planning:

I hate typical wedding music and think that most music DJs play is cheesey. We are only inviting 65 people to our wedding. Of those maybe 10 or 12 would dance. I'm having a ceremony and reception at the same place in the afternoon. Will be having hors d'oeuvers and food stations. To me, because so few people will dance and because the party is during the day on a Sunday (which doens't lend itself to a party feel loike a Sat night might) it would seem silly for me to get a DJ. Add to that the fact that IF I get a DJ and people DO dance, I'll likely have to pay for a longer bar tab for those that wnat to stick around and booze it up and boogey.

The alternate would be to have background music played on an ipod. I admit that at first this sounded soooo cheesey to me and tacky. But its kind of growing on me because I think that getting a DJ for 10 people dance is overkill. Also the venue is not exactly huge and the crowd not full of partiers so Dj would be overwhelming.

Have you already booked a DJ? Are you set on having a dancefloor? Is the event at night? Depending on the type of event and the arrangement of the room, maybe no DJ per se is needed.

 

[Mashira]

Our weddings sound similar! Mine will also be on a Sunday, however it is in the evening. The ceremony will be around 4 or 4:30pm with the reception (buffet dinner and dancing) starting at 5 in the same location. We haven't booked a DJ yet, however I think if only for my sanity, I must book one. It just wouldn't feel right without dancing, even if it's just the ten or so of us. The bar is not an issue because we are doing cash bar at a flat rate.

I'm being super picky about the music, and I'm planning on incorporating a few of my favorite 'ethnic' songs. Example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdUcDZDEnUc

I think your post actually did help me quite a bit. It made me realize how important the music/dancing is to me, even if there aren't many people that are 'into it'. It's our wedding right?! The thought of it being nixed entirely is just frightening, though I'm probably going to mull over getting a cheaper DJ than the one I was looking at because as you said, there's not point in going all-out for ten people.

 

[sillyberry]

FWIW, I've found that a lot of people who would never ever go out dancing at a club will still dance at a wedding. So you may end up with more dancers than you anticipate!

 

[yssie]

We're pretty much the same, Mashira! I love to dance, FI is able but not as enthusiastic, we have a few friends/relatives who legitimately enjoy it but most of them seem to prefer not to... I wanted a packed dancefloor, but I was pretty sure it wasn't going to happen.


The evening of we had people of all backgrounds dancing together - to Indian, Jewish, and 'wedding' music, and at one point had a congo line that stretched 'round the room I think as long as the two groups of people are comfortable with each other, things will happen naturally (and alcohol never hurts )

 

[AustenNut]

FWIW, I've found that a lot of people who would never ever go out dancing at a club will still dance at a wedding. So you may end up with more dancers than you anticipate!

This. I can probably count on my fingers, and certainly between my fingers and toes, the number of times I've gone out dancing in a club. I don't particularly enjoy it, largely due to the smoke and late hours. (What can I say, I'm lame.) But, if it's a wedding where I'm with even 1 or 2 other people that I know and like to dance, I am there all night long, leading the charge onto the dance floor.

We're having a Sunday evening wedding (ceremony starts at 5) and we've got a DJ. Though I thought about doing the ipod route, we just felt it would be better to put this in the hands of a professional since neither my fiance nor I actually own an ipod. Actually, I do have an MP3 player I bought to exercise with. It has 0 songs loaded. Like I said, I'm lame.

 

[Autumnovember]

FWIW, I've found that a lot of people who would never ever go out dancing at a club will still dance at a wedding. So you may end up with more dancers than you anticipate!

I completely agree. I have been at weddings and have seen people that are not normally dancers at all whatsoever, getting up and dancing and having a really good time. I really don't think its safe to assume for sure who will and will not dance even if you think you're 100% positive.

 

[mrscushion]

FWIW, I've found that a lot of people who would never ever go out dancing at a club will still dance at a wedding. So you may end up with more dancers than you anticipate!

I've found the same. DH and I aren't big dancers and neither were 80% of our attendees, and still the dance floor was plenty full all night. I think people just associate weddings with dancing and they'll get into it.

 

[Mashira]

Thank you ladies! This has been very reassuring!

 

[lucyandroger]

People dance at weddings! You have nothing to worry about. As long as you and your new husband are on the dance floor, your guests will follow your lead.

I am also having a Sunday evening reception, beginning at 5 and never once did we consider not getting a DJ. People will dance and celebrate because it is your wedding - doesn't matter what day of the week it is.

 

[zipzapgirl]

One thing that seems to really work is to start with the slow dancing. Especially older couples and grandparents enjoy the chance to enjoy a slow dance with their partner--it's really sweet! I'd ask the bridal party to dance (either together or with their respective partners--you'll know best what they're most comfortable with) and then halfway through the song, invite other couples. Then play about 2 more slow songs so you've got everyone out there. Then play a real hit like Prince's Kiss and even the oldies will dance a bit. Getting people out on the dance floor is the biggest obstacle... the continued dancing is the easy part!

 

[NakedFinger]

You would be surprised how many people you wouldnt think would dance, will dance at a wedding.

The big thing is to make sure you get a great dj/band. If the entertainment is great, people wont be able to help themselves. The key is the band/dj being able to read people. Majority older crowed=disco, oldies, frankie, etc. Majority younger crowd= top 40, pop, dance, etc. Obviously playing a mixture of it so everyone can dance is good, but the crowd ratios play a big part. If they are able to read the crowd, and see what type of music is getting people up, and changing it when they start to see a lull or an empty dance floor, you'll be fine. The test of a good dj/band is whether they kept the dance floor full or not, so they will definitely make sure to get people going. Starting with slow songs, which is less intimidating, to get people on the floor always helps, and then changing it to dance music works too.

Also, just an industry secret, people are always asking me to have obnoxiously large dance floors because they want "room". But a dance floor too big for the number of people just starts to look empty, thus giving the impression that people arent having a good time. So if you are afraid of people not dancing, have your venue make your dancefloor slightly smaller than standard for a 60 person wedding. This way, the dance floor will always look full and hopping!

 

[katamari]

I also agree that people who don't usually dance will dance at a wedding.

However, I also think it is important to realize that dancing and having fun are not necessarily the same thing. I dance at weddings, but it is more out of obligation to the couple than my desire to dance. People are perfectly capable of having a great time without dancing, and I think a lot of couples get hung up on thinking that if guests aren't dancing, they aren't having a good time. I know I did. I personally think our reception would have been better without dancing. We had lots of other activities at our reception and it just wasn't the style of any of our friends or family to have fun by dancing. But, I though that we had to offer, and emphasize, dancing.

 

[Indylady]

Where in the Middle East is your family from? How about a dabke to start things off? Its usually an amazing ice-breaker and a lot of fun even if one is rhythmically-challenged.

You may also want to enlist one or two of your BM's to help you "get the party started" and playing a couple of cheesy party favorites couldn't hurt eitherl. Like Katamari said, there are lots of time that people have a fun time at a wedding without dancing, so don't let it stress you out if your guests aren't boogieing it down.

 

[jaylex]

People dance at weddings! You have nothing to worry about. [i]As long as you and your new husband are on the dance floor, your guests will follow your lead.[/i]

I am also having a Sunday evening reception, beginning at 5 and never once did we consider not getting a DJ. People will dance and celebrate because it is your wedding - doesn't matter what day of the week it is.

I Ditto this... our DJ stressed to us that as long as we are on the dance floor, the rest of the crowd will want to be too. He also told us to tell our bridal party to dance as much as possible. Even if you have a bridesmaid or groomsmen that isn't a fan of dancing, as long as they stay near the floor with a drink or something and chat with the other guests (which will make the floor seem more full), that should help as well.

 

[elrohwen]

One thing I've noticed at wedding I've attended is that having general interest music goes a long way towards getting people on the dance floor. At the weddings with only top 40 songs playing, even plenty of the younger set (who don't listen to top 40) weren't out there, because they just didn't like the music. At the weddings with lots of 60s, 70s, and 80s dance hits, even the older relatives were on the floor because they knew all the songs. I think your music needs to reflect the people - if people don't know the songs, they won't be on the floor. At another wedding, the bride chose a lot of modern country type songs plus "silly" songs (hokey pokey, etc) and, again, many people sat out because they just didn't like the music.

Though at the end of the day, having a lot of young people really helps. Even if those young people aren't usually dancers, if they're having fun and having a few drinks, they'll get out and dance if they like the music. My wedding was full of young people, most would say they hate dancing, but all were on the floor having a fantastic time (we had 80 total guests). The weddings without free booze, and the ones with a high concentration of older relatives, seem to be much quieter on the dancing front.