mourning jewelry question

[acv123]

I was looking around for a locket today and found many lovely victorian examples, many of them engraved and with beautiful locks of hair, some even in intricate patterns. I was wondering how you all feel about removing locks of hair, pictures, engravings from these personalized items? I tend to steer clear of anything that still has the hair in it for some reason...though i think its a nice gesture when people continue to wear them and memorialize the person. Have you ever heard of people removing hair and photos from these items? What would be the proper way to dispose of them if you did?

 

[Matthews1127]

That’s a great subject. I could never dispose of anything that sentimental. No idea what to do with it, but I’d feel “disrespectful”, if I “disturbed” something like that, or disposed of it, hap-hazardly.
I’m curious what others will say...
Following.

 

[JPie]

I love Victorian jewelry, but the hair stuff feels deeply personal and creeps me out. I don’t want it even with the hair removed.

 

[stracci2000]

This is kind of a gray area.
I would not remove hair or photos from memorial jewelry.
But then of course, I wouldn't really want to wear a locket containing the hair of a long deceased person, either!
So what do you do with memorial jewelry? I guess keep it in your collection as a conversation piece.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

My personal thought is that disturbing something like that would be bad for the karma.

 

[acv123]

I love Victorian jewelry, but the hair stuff feels deeply personal and creeps me out. I don’t want it even with the hair removed.

I laughed when I read this because even though I think its irrational on my part I am also a little bit creeped out even with some things where the hair or photos have likely been removed. There should be a sage-equivalent for jewelry to release any old souls!

 

[acv123]

My personal thought is that disturbing something like that would be bad for the karma.

I agree, I don't think there's any good way to do it, I feel like I would need to consult someone who specializes in victorian religious beliefs!

 

[acv123]

This is kind of a gray area.
I would not remove hair or photos from memorial jewelry.
But then of course, I wouldn't really want to wear a locket containing the hair of a long deceased person, either!
So what do you do with memorial jewelry? I guess keep it in your collection as a conversation piece.

definitely a gray area-- its strange cause I have no problem with pieces that have engravings and so much of the antiques we buy belonged to others and thats part of the appeal. Maybe these super personal memorial pieces should go into museums.

 

[kgizo]

Count me in the hair stuff creeps me out group. I think I’d be OK removing a photo from a locket.

 

[Ally T]

It definitely feels wrong to remove the hair or disturb anything from mourning jewellery. I have a locket with some of my dads hair & picture inside, as do my mother & 2 sisters. He died 17 years ago. The locket is beautiful 18ct gold with engraving around the edges - we all went shopping together for our lockets & all chose very differently. I have never, ever worn it, not even to try it on. It is pristine. BUT... If down the years, one of my daughters or anybody else removed the hair or even TOUCHED it in any way, I would flip. It’s just a big no-no for me. Once i’m gone then I guess i’ll be none the wiser, but it doesn’t sit right with me. It almost feels like a small part of his grave.

 

[acv123]

It definitely feels wrong to remove the hair or disturb anything from mourning jewellery. I have a locket with some of my dads hair & picture inside, as do my mother & 2 sisters. He died 17 years ago. The locket is beautiful 18ct gold with engraving around the edges - we all went shopping together for our lockets & all chose very differently. I have never, ever worn it, not even to try it on. It is pristine. BUT... If down the years, one of my daughters or anybody else removed the hair or even TOUCHED it in any way, I would flip. It’s just a big no-no for me. Once i’m gone then I guess i’ll be none the wiser, but it doesn’t sit right with me. It almost feels like a small part of his grave.

Such a nice and meaningful object to have and interesting to see it in a contemporary way. I'm very sentimental about jewelry and gifts in general from my parents so I completely understand how you would feel if something were to happen to your locket. I hope it stays in and is appreciated by your family for generations.

 

[Ally T]

Such a nice and meaningful object to have and interesting to see it in a contemporary way. I'm very sentimental about jewelry and gifts in general from my parents so I completely understand how you would feel if something were to happen to your locket. I hope it stays in and is appreciated by your family for generations.

I am ridiculously sentimental with jewellery too! The small .60 ctw diamond studs that my parents bought me for my 25th Birthday only ever leave my ears for cleaning. This is despite the beautiful 1 ctw studs my husband bought me for my 40th which have a better cut & colour. I just can’t give up the ones i’ve worn for 19 years! We’ve had some serious adventures, me & these studs. Similarly the solitaire pendant my husband bought me for my birthday a mere 6 weeks after we met, to “match” my studs (the pendant is bigger, the colour, cut & clarity far superior than my little studs) also doesn’t leave my neck unless for cleaning, and my plain wedding ring has NEVER left my finger, not even for surgery. I think I may be a bit weird?!

 

[strawrose]

I would stay clear and find another locket similar to it. That’s just me being creeped out, though. Of course, if you remove it and tell no one, they’d be none the wiser.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I'm in the small minority that loves these things and would collect every beautiful memorial piece of jewelry in a heartbeat if I could afford it.
For me every piece of jewelry I have represents a memory or a time in my life so to see that people have been doing this for centuries is lovely and in even more symbolic and meaningful ways by placing ashes or hair or teeth inside is just.....its beautiful to me.

I would cherish and wear an aged memorial piece and would only have it restored....leaving hair or any other momentos inside. I think thats what these people who have long passed would have wanted if the pieces hadnt been buried with them- for their jewelry to remain intact and cherished and treated with respect.

I have had rings made from ashes when i lost a child. They bring me comfort and peace. I have blonde locks of hair from my daughters first haircut stored away....staying put until I find the perfect piece of rose cut transparent rose quartz.
I even have my own baby teeth.
I have always been this way even at a young age. I saw value in things that will long be here after were not and hold pieces of us...whether literal or symbolic.
I am extremely sentimental with things and especially human remains. Some find comfort in the strange and some see it as just "strange".

I think the pairing of jewelry and memories/symbolism will always be a "thing" in cultures. At least I hope so.
Also when I pass many of the jewelry pieces that I have had made with human remains (ashes/hair/etc.) dont look so and I dont go around saying it, so I imagine my pieces will be worn by unsuspecting people. I'm sure we all own a vintage/antique piece that was once someones mourning piece of jewelry whether it was only inscribed and that inscription wore off or whether it once held something dear.
We can only keep passing these old objects around in the hopes that they continue to be loved and that their new owners find meaning and connect their own joy to them.
<3

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Also remember these pieces of jewelry werent fabricated in anger and hatred...to be worn to curse the wearer.
These were made to be pieces of comfort in dire times, in mourning. They are precious.
They are pure love.
So to answer your question as long as you dont take apart, dismantle or take out the ashes/hair I think if anything you will receive lovely blessings from the souls passed on.
Death is immanent and apart of life, it should not be feared.

Now if were not talking jewelry and you find an old box or cabinet and open it to find hair in a doll or hair burnt to the floor with candle wax...yeah I wouldnt say that those boxes are pure love lol
I wouldnt keep those

 

[PreRaphaelite]

@Garnetgirl you are a treasure. I feel exactly the same way. We might well be in the minority, But the fewer of us there are, the better our chances of finding memorials to treasure from auctions and antiques dealers, right?!

I lost the love of my life to cancer nearly three years ago now, and wear an antique English dendritic agate locket hiding lock of her hair, in her memory. (Obviously it never gets wet!) But I also don’t tell people that’s what it is, so no one blinks, and I have her with me, close to my heart. Morbid? I hope not. Just as you said above, it is pure love.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

@InsecureSweetGirl , you are as your name implies; sweet!
Hopefully after explaining why I would proudly wear another's long forgotten memorial piece others who wouldnt will at the very least be able to understand the angle with which we see it and appreciate that.
&Your dendritic pendant is stunning.
The idea of hiding the hair and making it seem apart of the stone is very clever.
It is beautiful and I'm so happy that I am not the only one who loves jewelry as such.
Life is difficult and any little thing that can make it that teensy bit sweeter is worth holding onto. <3
I've had glass blown with my prescious ashes encased and one would never think that they are in there. Ive also placed ashes under opaque stones, mainly opals as they're symbolic.
All my love your way!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I would wear a piece but to remove the hair in it, no. I can appreciate the history of mourning jewelry and what it represents because really if we think about it, antique pieces of jewelry all have a history. Some of that is good and happy and some hard and dark but I can see that some might find wearing someone else's hair to be an unpleasant idea.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I would wear a piece but to remove the hair in it, no. I can appreciate the history of mourning jewelry and what it represents because really if we think about it, antique pieces of jewelry all have a history. Some of that is good and happy and some hard and dark but I can see that some might find wearing someone else's hair to be an unpleasant idea.

I can understand this concept (:
Different strokes for different folks!
There are as many preferences as there are rings in the world.

Although the one thing I'm not sure that itd be good to do is remove the hair.
If i was weirded out by the remains/hair id probably just pass up the piece instead of taking it out.