Mother-Son Dance Debate- help!

[Amanda.Rx]

So, FI & his mom have this idea of their first dance song, and frankly, I hate it. I feel like the entire momentum of the reception will come to a halt. Both songs sound depressing to me. FI really doesn''t want a cliche'' song to dance to, but I really want something normal.

FI''s mom is part Irish (meaning, she has ancestors that are Irish- she''s never been to Ireland) so she wants an Irish song played- whatever. She really wanted to do a fast Irish step dance, which I talked them out of (for fear that she would break an ankle on my wedding night).

Here''s option 1: Song

Here''s option 2: Song

What should I do? I feel selfish hating those songs, but I can''t help it- I hate them.

 

[elrohwen]

Wow, that''s a tough one. Honestly, I would just suck it up and go with one of the songs if it were me

It sucks, but I don''t think it''ll drag down the mood of the reception or anything. People will quickly forget and move on to dancing, eating, whatever. Would they be open to other versions of the songs? I like the first song, I just don''t like that version of it at all. Maybe you could find a version that you liked a bit more. The lyrics won''t change, but the whole feel of the song might be totally different.

 

[lucyandroger]

I can''t listen to the songs because I''m at work but...

This is one of the few things at a wedding that doesn''t have anything to do with the bride. Let your FI and his mom pick their song -- it''s their moment.

 

[Amanda.Rx]

True- I''ll see if I can find another version of the first one.

To make matters worse, FI has told me on several occasions that the singer of song 2 died of a brain tumor. So, I associate brain tumor with his voice. Very cheerful. *sigh*

 

[brightlight]

Date: 9/22/2009 3:29:47 PM
Author: lucyandroger
I can''t listen to the songs because I''m at work but...

This is one of the few things at a wedding that doesn''t have anything to do with the bride. Let your FI and his mom pick their song -- it''s their moment.

I agree. Try to imagine if your MIL was forcing you to change the song for your first dance with your FI.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 9/22/2009 3:29:47 PM
Author: lucyandroger

This is one of the few things at a wedding that doesn''t have anything to do with the bride. Let your FI and his mom pick their song -- it''s their moment.

Ditto. Honestly, I think you''re being a little ridiculous. Really, you''ll think of brain tumors when you hear that song?! Come on. We danced to an Otis Redding song for our first dance and we managed not to think about plane crashes.

One song is not going to bring the entire momentum of your reception to a halt, and there is nothing wrong with either of those songs.

 

[Morgie44]

Honestly, I think either of those songs are no less upbeat than what a ''typical'' mother/son dance song is. They wanted to do an upbeat song and you vetoed it. It really is there moment and I think you should honor what they want. When I was trying to decide on a father daughter dance song, I had it down to three. One of which my then Fiance HATED. His opinion did influence me and I chose a different song. In the end, a few days before the wedding my dad asked me what song we were going to dance to I told him what I chose, but if he would like something else that is totally fine. I went off to do something else and when I came back to the room, my dad was listening to the song that FI had vetoed with tears running down his face. Obviously I changed it to that song. In the end I guess I am trying to say, that those 3-4 minutes were more about my father and I than what my FI and I had envisioned for that portion of the evening. Those three minutes are for your FMIL, not for you. Let them do what she would like to create a meaningful memory for them, rather than for you, because it is not about you or what you want for those short minutes.

 

[zipzapgirl]

I listened to both and they were fine in my opinion. The first one sounded a little old fashioned, so maybe you could find a cover version or someone to sing it live.

I know it might feel like it is throwing a bit of a wrench in the evening''s inertia, but it''s really only 3-4 minutes and everyone will be thinking of how sweet it is for your husband and his mom to dance, so I don''t think they''ll be dragged down by it at all.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I think either of those would be fine...Fi and I originally were going to dance to an irish song as well by Celtic Woman. They have really great songs, maybe you could suggest to your fmil that you found some irish songs you thought she might really like (granted of course if you like them as well) Here''s a link to one we considered for our first dance, obviously not appropriate for m/s dance but gives you an idea of their music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh-q8RNLr3Q

 

[Haven]

Date: 9/22/2009 3:41:28 PM
Author: brightlight

Date: 9/22/2009 3:29:47 PM
Author: lucyandroger
I can''t listen to the songs because I''m at work but...

This is one of the few things at a wedding that doesn''t have anything to do with the bride. Let your FI and his mom pick their song -- it''s their moment.

I agree. Try to imagine if your MIL was forcing you to change the song for your first dance with your FI.

Thritto. They should be able to dance to whatever song they like. I imagine that being a controlling bride regarding this point is not going to do anything for your relationship with your MIL.

 

[D2B]

Honestly, dont ruin this for them. Let your FI and FMIL chose THEIR song, it is not about you, it is only a few minutes and to be honest no-one but the bride is ever so intensly interested in the whole wedding anyway, so you can either be gracioius and part of the new family and let them have their fun or come accross as incredibly controlling. the guests are not likely to pay as much attention as you to any of the songs, but this means a lot to your FMIL.

Enjoy your day, but let them have their moment.

 

[charbie]

i have to agree with everyone else. let it go. think about all of the weddings you''ve gone to. now think about the mother/son dance. can you recall what they''ve danced to? i know i can''t!

however- here is another version of the second song that i think sounds really sweet actually!

by irish tenors

 

[honey22]

Date: 9/22/2009 5:59:47 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 9/22/2009 3:41:28 PM

Author: brightlight

Date: 9/22/2009 3:29:47 PM

Author: lucyandroger

I can''t listen to the songs because I''m at work but...


This is one of the few things at a wedding that doesn''t have anything to do with the bride. Let your FI and his mom pick their song -- it''s their moment.

I agree. Try to imagine if your MIL was forcing you to change the song for your first dance with your FI.

Thritto. They should be able to dance to whatever song they like. I imagine that being a controlling bride regarding this point is not going to do anything for your relationship with your MIL.

I have to agree with the ladies here. It''s a moment that has nothing to do with you, so please let them decide together. How would you feel if your FI vetoed your father-daughter dance selection?

 

[pocahontas]

Date: 9/22/2009 8:03:48 PM
Author: honey22

Date: 9/22/2009 5:59:47 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 9/22/2009 3:41:28 PM

Author: brightlight

Date: 9/22/2009 3:29:47 PM

Author: lucyandroger

I can''t listen to the songs because I''m at work but...


This is one of the few things at a wedding that doesn''t have anything to do with the bride. Let your FI and his mom pick their song -- it''s their moment.

I agree. Try to imagine if your MIL was forcing you to change the song for your first dance with your FI.

Thritto. They should be able to dance to whatever song they like. I imagine that being a controlling bride regarding this point is not going to do anything for your relationship with your MIL.

I have to agree with the ladies here. It''s a moment that has nothing to do with you, so please let them decide together. How would you feel if your FI vetoed your father-daughter dance selection?

+1

 

[Bliss]

They do sound sad! ((hugs))

The first line is, "There's a tear in my eye." And it's sung in a mournful way.

The second one is kind of melancholy but beautiful, too.

Do you think there are underlying feelings of resentment toward your MIL that these songs are evoking?

I agree that I wouldn't feel comfortable if the mother-son dance was something about how "our love must now end - you will go and leave me, ah me!"

LOL. Seriously, how you feel is understandable in my opinion. They are sad songs. But remember, at weddings - there is a LOT of noise... people are eating, talking and glasses are clinking. I don't think it would halt all the merrymaking and turn the guests from cheerful to weepy!

I would let this one go.

Oooh, Smurfy - good idea! Celtic Woman! And the other version is really beautiful... Would those suggestions work, I wonder?

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Thanks for the insight ladies. You''re all right- it''s only 3-4 minutes and the only person that cares is me.

Thanks to those of you that offered alternatives too! I''m starting to realize it''s not really the song I hate, but perhaps that way it''s sung. I listened to other versions and they''re not as bad, I feel. Maybe I can gently suggest the alternate versions.

Thanks for the reality check- I think I needed it.