Money or Cash Registries

[Karen Gannon]

Hi Peeps!!! My daughter and I are in the planning mode and being a single mom and her recently out of college, we are discussing these money or cash registries. A huge part of me feels it is not proper. On the other hand, does any of you have any experience or knowledge of these? Thoughts? Any inparticular that are good, bad, or just have another idea????

Thanks!!!

 

[monarch64]

I have never heard of a cash registry. People will either give gifts of cash/checks, or they will send or bring a tangible gift item they have purchased from a regular gift registry or chosen themselves, so I don't understand the need for a cash registry. Unless, of course, you are planning to pay for the wedding with the gift money accumulated. I will keep my opinion on that practice to myself. I will say that if I were invited to a wedding and told that I should simply sign up to give a gift of cash, I would r.s.v.p. "not attending" without further thought. If I want to be charged admission, I will be choosing the entertainment and venue myself.

 

[swingirl]

I have never heard of a cash registry. People will either give gifts of cash/checks, or they will send or bring a tangible gift item they have purchased from a regular gift registry or chosen themselves, so I don't understand the need for a cash registry. Unless, of course, you are planning to pay for the wedding with the gift money accumulated. I will keep my opinion on that practice to myself. I will say that if I were invited to a wedding and told that I should simply sign up to give a gift of cash, I would r.s.v.p. "not attending" without further thought. If I want to be charged admission, I will be choosing the entertainment and venue myself.

Well said.

 

[Karen Gannon]

Well that is our thoughts as well...it is in poor taste. Instead of going online to purchase a gift, they give towards say a honeymoon registry or the like. It would not be to charge admission, lol. The couple doesn't need gifts per se, just having a nice event or honeymoon. There are so many more of these registries we wanted another opinion. That is why I love this place! Honest opinions.

 

[slg47]

A lot of people have 'honeymoon registries'. I think it is just a way of asking for cash. I personally don't like them but think they have become more accepted.

 

[sillyberry]

A lot of people have 'honeymoon registries'. I think it is just a way of asking for cash. I personally don't like them but think they have become more accepted.

Yep. You probably know your audience, too. If you think the guest list is made up of types who would be clutching their pearls at the thought of a honeymoon registry, don't do it. If your daughter's friends have all had honeymoon funds and that's the norm, go for it. These days I honestly don't care -- I'm going to give X dollars regardless, so whether it comes in the form of a place setting or a massage at the resort, either is fine.

She can always split the difference and do both a gift registry and a honeymoon fund.

 

[Amys Bling]

A lot of people have 'honeymoon registries'. I think it is just a way of asking for cash. I personally don't like them but think they have become more accepted.

we had a honeymoon registry- but honestly- we lived together and owned our house for three years prior to our wedding .. There was nothing to register for.

 

[aviastar]

We did a virtual registry (myregistry.com) and we did put a 'honeymoon and house' cash registry section in addition to our standard registry. Mostly, we just wanted people who prefer to give cash to know that their gifts would be going towards our dream honeymoon and dream deck-not the wedding! We also plan to include pictures of these things in our Thank You notes so people can see the tangible result of the gift we are thanking them for.

We heavily debated doing a registry at all- we seperated our ceremony for just family and a big reception for all our extended family and friends and we honestly just wanted to host a big party to celebrate with people we love, we don't expect gifts of any kind. We decided to go for it in response to several (admittedly, slightly odd) family members who were talking about things like woodstoves (we don't have a place to put one!) in an effort to save these well meaning people from spending a lot of money on something we couldn't use.

I don't find them offensive in general- sometimes what newlyweds really need is money and that is what a registry is designed to do- let people know what you need. That said- there are, I think, gracious as well as tacky ways to handle the subjects of gifts at all and if the couple is generally humble about it, it's all good.

 

[Gypsy]

I'd be offended. I really would be.

The only type of "cash" registries that I am 100% okay with are charitable donation requests.

That said, I am starting to be more accepting of honeymoon registries and do not find them offensive any more.


WHAT YOU CAN DO:

As the mom, you can do what our parent's did. We registered but we preferred cash. So whenever anyone would ask our parents they would say, "They are registered here, but honestly I think the thing the kids could use the most is cash." That way WE weren't asking for money, but the message still got out that we preferred cash and a lot of people just gave us checks. Many didn't though, and preferred to use our registry.

 

[SB621]

I'd be offended. I really would be.

The only type of "cash" registries that I am 100% okay with are charitable donation requests.

That said, I am starting to be more accepting of honeymoon registries and do not find them offensive any more.


WHAT YOU CAN DO:

As the mom, you can do what our parent's did. We registered but we preferred cash. So whenever anyone would ask our parents they would say, "They are registered here, but honestly I think the thing the kids could use the most is cash." That way WE weren't asking for money, but the message still got out that we preferred cash and a lot of people just gave us checks. Many didn't though, and preferred to use our registry.

Gypsy basically said what I would have typed out. When DH and I got married many of our guests approached our parents or bridal parties about what we really wanted. Spread the word to those people and everything should work out.

In regards to honeymoon registries I'm not a fan unless you do it as a shower gift (say have a theme bridal shower about your honeymoon)- I don't think it is appropriate as a wedding gift.

 

[MissStepcut]

It's a common question, but I am surprised by your reasoning a little. Since she just graduated college, couldn't the couple use a complete set of china and cutlery, linens, countertop appliances, etc? A young couple just starting out seems to need the household basics the most, no?

 

[aviastar]

It's a common question, but I am surprised by your reasoning a little. Since she just graduated college, couldn't the couple use a complete set of china and cutlery, linens, countertop appliances, etc? A young couple just starting out seems to need the household basics the most, no?

When I had just graduated from college I had nowhere to put anything! Most of that would have sat in boxes in my parents basement for years because the tiny apartment we could afford had approximately zero counter space, half a closet, and two kitchen drawers. My thinking is, just graduated, second marriage, early 30's...everyone has a different set of circumstances that's impossible to generalize about. Not to mention personal preferences- we're not formal people, a complete china set would be wasted on us. Garden hoses and power tools on the other hand will get used every day!

Know your guests; if your daughter feels like she would be embarrased to explain why they chose a cash registry, better to skip it. But there are also lots of cultures that don't register- they pass around bags for cash at the reception, it's all part of the tradition, it's expected and people love it. Be true to your daughter's needs and comfort level, whatever that may be.

 

[AsschrFan]

I went to an Egyptian wedding last year and the couple asked for cash. I don't remember if the invites asked for cash or if my friend had mentioned it beforehand; I was totally fine with giving the couple a check. I think it's also common in Eastern European countries.

 

[Haven]

I'd be offended. I really would be.

The only type of "cash" registries that I am 100% okay with are charitable donation requests.

That said, I am starting to be more accepting of honeymoon registries and do not find them offensive any more.


WHAT YOU CAN DO:

As the mom, you can do what our parent's did. We registered but we preferred cash. So whenever anyone would ask our parents they would say, "They are registered here, but honestly I think the thing the kids could use the most is cash." That way WE weren't asking for money, but the message still got out that we preferred cash and a lot of people just gave us checks. Many didn't though, and preferred to use our registry.

Big ditto.

I also think that a cash registry isn't going to change people's minds from giving an item to giving cash, anyway. If people want to give cash, they'll give cash. If they don't, they won't.