moments of defeat

[Shay]

well this weekend I had the most awful depressing moment.

I had been away on a business trip the whole weekend. It was the longest my bf and I have been apart in a year and a half.
When I returned from the trip I expected to be swept into his arms and ... I don''t know... have been missed I guess.

Instead I find him and his 2 best friends (great guys) playing playstation and drinking beer. I get a "hi my love how was the trip" and then he gets distracted by the cricket score

I went upstairs and sat on the bed, furious with him and myself for having such high expectations. I always keep my nails perfectly manicured... I think it might be in a subconcious hope for the e-ring... how pathetic am I?

And I came to this moment of complete defeat. I cut my fingernails so short they actually hurt, i think it was a sort of cathartic rebellion against all my hopes, which seemed like they would come to nothing. So of course now I am irritated , upset and in pain... Great plan Shay!

Later that evening he asked me why I was so angry and I gave him a piece of my mind... he apologised profusely and promised to try be more considerate and more romantic. So I suppose it''s all ok in the end... except for my fingernails... which really hurt

I guess I just couldn''t think of any other people who would understand such frustration like pricescope. Excuse my venting.

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Oh Shay, I''m sorry your bf acted that way. The reason he had ''the guys'' over is he was probably miserable and lonely w/out you there and that was his way of coping. Of course, he''d never admit that. And of course he had to ''play it cool'' for the guys so there was no ''sweeping'' to be done. Trust me, most of my friends are guys and I know how they operate!!And as for your fingernails, as my Grandmother used to say"Gal, don''t cut of your nose to spite your face"

 

[Shay]

hehe Blingqueen, that''s what he said... that he was distracting himself from his lonelyness.

I also think it didn''t help matters that I had been daydreaming about proposals on my arrival!

I swear I do these things to myself.

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

I told ya so

. I have a great advantage when it comes to the male species. I swear, my guy friends don''t even acknowledge that I''m a female most of the time. They''ll be sitting around dishing about women and ask my opinion, make me go ask for the girls number, tell them whether the girls pretty enough, whatever. I yanked off my shirt in my living room one night and yell"36DD MEANS NOTHING TO YOU GUYS. I''M A GIRL, I''M A GIRL, I''M....A...GIIIIRRRRRLLLLLL!"and I stormed out of the room. They then asked ''so do you have pms or something?''

So when my fh does something insensetive(stupid) I can translate.

 

[appletini]

Shay: I''m sure the boys were just a lonelyness distraction. Don''t feel bad about the nails. Last April I started getting manicures once a week too. Trust me it will pay off in the long run.

 

[jenwill]

Date: 1/31/2005 3

2:27 AM
Author: BLINGQUEEN
I told ya so

. I have a great advantage when it comes to the male species. I swear, my guy friends don''t even acknowledge that I''m a female most of the time. They''ll be sitting around dishing about women and ask my opinion, make me go ask for the girls number, tell them whether the girls pretty enough, whatever. I yanked off my shirt in my living room one night and yell''36DD MEANS NOTHING TO YOU GUYS. I''M A GIRL, I''M A GIRL, I''M....A...GIIIIRRRRRLLLLLL!''and I stormed out of the room. They then asked ''so do you have pms or something?''

So when my fh does something insensetive(stupid) I can translate.

Ha! Too funny. I also am the girl friend of many boy friends. At one point I lived in a 4 bedroom house with 3 guys- and I was always the designated person to go up and talk with a girl that they might be interested in, just to see if she was as interesting as she looked. I was also their ''safe girl'', meaning that if I was with them other girls would think they were safe to talk to- otherwise I wouldn''t be hanging out with them! Men are funny- I heard more about guy stuff just sitting there, then occasionally I woudl get questions on ''why are women so weird?'' Sigh, they have no idea how strange they are themselves.

 

[MelissaSue]

Shay - I get mad at my fiance for things like that all the time. Its easy to expect too much from them... my newest thing is being secretly mad at him for not being able to afford the necklace that I want for valentines day.

But yesterday, I was talking to one of the girls I work with and she unintentionally made me REALLY appreciate how wonderful my fiance is. Her boyfriend is basically just an a$$.. he gets drunk and punches things, calls her a slut, worthless, etc.. accuses her of sleeping with his friends.. oh yeah.. and he sat on top of her and tried to choke her.. She has left him.. for now.. but in my heart I know she is going to go back.. (even though I''ll smack her when she does)..

When she was telling me this.. I was sitting there thinking.. Oh my god.. i''d never be with someone like that.. Jeff would never even DREAM of acting like that, drunk or not. It made me realize how lucky I was to have HIM and not some jerk like that.. because I''m sure its possible that I could have fallen for someone like that. So I am vowing to not let the dumb things like him playing too many videogames or not having a job or him being unromantic upset me. ANd to not tell him he''s a jerk anymore. because he''s not.

Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy too...all he was doing was playing videogames with his friends.. and you said he apologized and promised to be more romantic. He wants you to be happy. You sort of have to put everything in perspective.

Sorry about your nails.. go get some fake ones put on til the others grow back a little. . I started getting my nails done about two weeks before I expected to get my e-ring. It ended up being almost 3 months after that when he finally proposed!!! We ALLL do it!!! I was mad at him and thought he didn''t love me and didn''t appreciate me many many many times during that period.. but I know I was just overreacting.

 

[goldengirl]

Yeah, Shay, I''ve been there too. Those little moments when you realize you''re not quite on the same page... I''ve been a little down lately too. ((hugs))

 

[blueroses]

Shay, hang in there sweetie--I think we all know exactly what you mean....these little moments where you can''t help but have a bigger, romantic expectation and then you kick yourself for having high expectations and wonder why you can''t just enjoy the moment, etc.....(((HUGS)))

(And GG, I hope you''re doing ok hon....I''ve noticed you haven''t been on as much and am sending good vibes your way. Any interview updates?)