DietCokeBreak
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2008
- Messages
- 15
My mom is footing the bill for the wedding, but we have different taste in almost everything. Mostly she is concerned about "what people will think", and therefore insists on doing everything in a really formal traditional way. I offered to pay, but she said that as long as I''m doing it in our hometown, people will judge her if it''s not "appropriate" so no matter who''s paying, it has to be a certain way. She said she would be embarrassed if I did any of the following:
Groom''s Cake
Wedding programs (in her day no one had them because you "ought to know what to do")
DJ instead of a band
dancing at all if less than 100 people are attending
didn''t have separate music for my processional (see earlier post)
had a 3 layer cake and sheet cake in the back
thermographed invitations
any embellishment at all on invitations-- even a simple gold trim
any sparkle-- at all-- on my dress (she says sparkle is tacky unless you''re 17 and going to the prom)
that''s just a few...
I''m a pretty traditional person, but she isn''t leaving any room for fun. In exchange for all these more expensive things, she thinks photography is wasteful. She says we''ll never look at it again, so we shouldn''t spend much money on it. I offered to pay for the photos, and she called me frivolous. Apparently she only wants to spend money on what other people will see. Since our guests won''t see the photos, she doesn''t even care about them.
Have any of you ladies had troubles with mom? How do you negotiate these things? I don''t want to fight with her, but I do want to get married in my hometown, and doing so any way other than her way seems that it will start a massive argument. I''m seriously considering eloping, even though I''ve always dreamed about a real wedding.
Groom''s Cake
Wedding programs (in her day no one had them because you "ought to know what to do")
DJ instead of a band
dancing at all if less than 100 people are attending
didn''t have separate music for my processional (see earlier post)
had a 3 layer cake and sheet cake in the back
thermographed invitations
any embellishment at all on invitations-- even a simple gold trim
any sparkle-- at all-- on my dress (she says sparkle is tacky unless you''re 17 and going to the prom)

I''m a pretty traditional person, but she isn''t leaving any room for fun. In exchange for all these more expensive things, she thinks photography is wasteful. She says we''ll never look at it again, so we shouldn''t spend much money on it. I offered to pay for the photos, and she called me frivolous. Apparently she only wants to spend money on what other people will see. Since our guests won''t see the photos, she doesn''t even care about them.

Have any of you ladies had troubles with mom? How do you negotiate these things? I don''t want to fight with her, but I do want to get married in my hometown, and doing so any way other than her way seems that it will start a massive argument. I''m seriously considering eloping, even though I''ve always dreamed about a real wedding.