Mom doesn''t like ering

[hawaiianorangetree]

My ering is a 1ct round brilliant in a plain setting... If you want we could swap erings so your mum would be more happy with yours..

Jusst kidding! Seriously, your ring is gorgeous and your mum is either jelous or not happy about something else and is just projecting it on to the ring. Either way.... don''t listen to her!!!!!!

 

[cliniquelove83]

Wow, thanks for the responses and concern, I can always count on PS to lift my spirits! Some more details, I believe that her reaction towards my ring was the result of some lingering discontent. As some of you suggested, she is a control freak to a degree and I think she always felt that she would have a larger "say" in whom I married and when (she wanted me to wait till I finished medical school, I have one year left). We have a very close relationship and she definitely is intimidated by my relationship with my FI. It doesn''t help that I''m the eldest/only girl/first to marry among my siblings. She likes my FI (we have been together 3 years) but never considered him "husband" material since he doesn''t have the same educational background as me, he has a business degree/MBA and is very successful at what he does might I add. It''s ridiculous I know but again it comes down to her controlling my life - I''ve basically done everything she''s ever wanted for me and now I''m deviating from her projected path. I think the ring just became an avenue in which she was able to express her negative feelings about the situation in general. I didn''t really react to her comments, just reiterated that I love it and it''s what I wanted.

I explained that erings quite diverse nowadays. I even attempted to show her PS so she could get an idea of the variety of styles and how it really boils down to personal preference. She can''t appreciate much beyond a RB in an elaborate setting. I think she warmed up to the diamond itself but couldn''t wrap her head around platinum with an ultra-thin pave band. She felt there was some disconnect between the substantial stone and delicate setting - I personally think it really accentuates the beauty of the stone where a more busy setting might detract. I also mentioned that I have very tiny, long fingers (my brothers nicknamed me "skeletor" as a kid ha ha) and a big ring would look odd.

I''d say it''s 60/40 (60% general discontent about my engagement/40% her not knowing squat about diamonds/settings etc)

 

[Dreamer_D]

Yup, nip it in the bud now. Weddings bring up all sorts of emotion crap in the family, no matter how well behaved they usually are, and if she is like this over the ring prepare for more annoyance when you start planning the wedding.

 

[wsu12]

I''m pretty sure my mom feels the same way about my e-ring your mother does about yours. The beauty of getting married is that you are officially becoming a woman. Last year I had to stand up to my mom. It was tough, there were tears (mine) but it was time to set boundaries and not allow her to make me feel insecure anymore. You''ll get to that point too...and she will respect you more.

If someone compliments my e-ring in public and my mother is with me she acts so strange, she goes into this long unnecessary diatribe about how I am SOOO lucky to have it, that I am humbled by it..it''s really strange. She often times thinks my e-ring is too flashy for daily wear.

Mothers are weird.

 

[radiantquest]

Im so sorry that it wasnt the experience you were hoping for. I think that your ring is georgeous. Did you exlpain to her that it is an estate ring and that he didnt choose the setting or not spend enough on it? I think you should tell her that you love it and that you wished she would just be happy for you. If my mother had been that way it would have upset me a lot. Hopefully once the shock wears off she will come around. If not, you have a great ering and even if your mother doesnt like it you and your new fiance do and you are starting your own family soon that will appreciate it.

 

[elrohwen]

Wow, that's so not cool! She's your mom - she should've told you she liked it no matter what, not picked at it all weekend.

I haven't seen your ring, but from your description it sounds beautiful! I'll have to go find the thread on it.

Try not to worry about it too much

eta: I have seen your ring, just forgot it was yours. It is frickin stunning! Absolutely gorgeous. Your mom is crazy for not liking it.

And I feel like this is such a common girl excuse, but is there a chance she's jealous? I feel like people throw that word around *way* too much, but in this case it might apply.

 

[movie zombie]

you got the ring you wanted....from the man you want. why let your mother spoil that? you''re old enough to get married, you''re old enough to tell her that.

mz

ps your ring is lovely and looks fab on you! sometimes we have to accept our mothers as they are; unfortunately, your mother seems to be a bit immature as regards her response and as stated by other posters should have and could have responded in a nicer manner.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

WHAAAT?!?! How, HOW does she not like it?!?! Clinique, your ring is seriously one of my favorites on PS . . . I think it''s absolutely gorgeous! But, to hell with what I think AND what your Mom thinks . . . the important thing is that YOU love it! And if you ever decide that you DON''T love it anymore, I''d be glad to give it a happy home for you!

 

[violet3]

What's not to like about that ring?!?

Moms can get REALLY odd about daughters' weddings - believe me i know. My mom went dress shopping with me, and didn't like the dress i picked out -- she told me it was unflattering. mind you, i had already picked it out and she was just coming to look at a few choices. It hurt my feelings, and really ruined my dress shopping experience, but I got over it eventually. I just stopped asking her opinion after that

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 4/19/2010 12:42:12 PM
Author: movie zombie
you got the ring you wanted....from the man you want. why let your mother spoil that? you''re old enough to get married, you''re old enough to tell her that.

mz

ps your ring is lovely and looks fab on you! sometimes we have to accept our mothers as they are; unfortunately, your mother seems to be a bit immature as regards her response and as stated by other posters should have and could have responded in a nicer manner.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

It is not about the ring. I am sorry b/c I can only imagine how painful it is to have someone you love NOT excited for you. You just need to focus on what is important. You love your ring. You love your FI. You love your life. Hopefully your mom will see how happy he makes you and accept your relationship. If not there is nothing you can do to make her. I also caution you NOT to get your FI involved. That will cause some deep, possibly permanent resentments. Marriage is difficult enough w/o enemy lines drawn. Ask yourself would you rather be right or happy?

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 4/19/2010 12:42:12 PM
Author: movie zombie
you got the ring you wanted....from the man you want. why let your mother spoil that? you''re old enough to get married, you''re old enough to tell her that.


mz


ps your ring is lovely and looks fab on you! sometimes we have to accept our mothers as they are; unfortunately, your mother seems to be a bit immature as regards her response and as stated by other posters should have and could have responded in a nicer manner.

I think this deserves-ditto from me... movie zombie often has just the right words

 

[lightningbug]

Date: 4/19/2010 1:41:53 AM
Author: She likes my FI (we have been together 3 years) but never considered him ''husband'' material since he doesn''t have the same educational background as me, he has a business degree/MBA and is very successful at what he does might I add. It''s ridiculous I know but again it comes down to her controlling my life - I''ve basically done everything she''s ever wanted for me and now I''m deviating from her projected path. I think the ring just became an avenue in which she was able to express her negative feelings about the situation in general.

Sounds like you''ve got a good read on the situation. I bet if your FI were also a doctor, she''d find a way to reconcile herself to the discrepancy between the large stone and delicate band.

She''d probably be swooning over it, just like the rest of us.

 

[Mahogany Jewel]

Moms can be quite "special" sometimes..Your ring is lovely and as long as you like it, that''s all that matters. Enjoy your ring and try not to let it bother you, even though I know it might be hard.

 

[Nov2109]

I didn''t even have to look up your ring to remember it. It is absolutely gorgeous...I love, love pave and I am secretly dreaming of a cushion cut.

Whatever reason your mother has for not "liking" your ring, is unfounded and ridiculous! She should have kept her feelings to herself. It is so rude when people insult or put down someone else''s ring. Its been done to me by my MOH...because she was jealous she didnt have a ring and she kept saying how mine should be this, or that. If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all!

All that matters is that you and your FI are happy. Everyone else will get over their issues, and if not, don''t let it get to you!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Can I tell you my experience with my mother and my engagement ring?

My mother was the kind of person who was never happy with anything or anyone. After my now husband gave me my ring my sister had a reunion at her house and my parents came up from Florida {I lived in NYC at the time}. While the champagne was flowing and people were admiring my ring my mother clinked her glass and announced that she had reset her engagement ring and proceeded to bogart every one's attention. She tried to make it all about HER and tried to ruin our day. I'm not saying your mother has as many problems as mine did...BUT something is definitely bubbling under the surface.....

eta: your ring is stunning!

 

[Sizzle]

I know you love your mom, but she is INSANE. your ring is absolutely fabulous and from what Ive been reading, is exactly what you want. Good thing she DOESN''T like the ring, then she might be jealous! My mom doesn''t get the point of diamonds PERIOD and thinks sparkly stones in any size are silly.. Well seeing as to how I''m HERE, we obviously don''t agree!

 

[doodle]

Well, then I guess it''s fortunate for your mom that your FI didn''t propose to her, huh?

Your ring is beautiful, so don''t let her taint your happiness. Oh, and this might be a good warning sign that she''s probably not going to be the best person to go dress shopping with either! I''m just sayin''...

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 4/20/2010 4:40:16 PM
Author: doodle
Well, then I guess it''s fortunate for your mom that your FI didn''t propose to her, huh?

Your ring is beautiful, so don''t let her taint your happiness. Oh, and this might be a good warning sign that she''s probably not going to be the best person to go dress shopping with either! I''m just sayin''...

good points, doodle!

mz