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mid life crisis?: want to sell all my bling!

fiona00004

fiona00004

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 28, 2012
Messages
1,474
As much as I love my collection, my ring size is always changing and I am fed up getting all my rings resized all the time. It gets $$$! I only wear rings on my ring finger and I feel just all over the place and fed up with (for some reason) not being a one ring girl and then not having my rings for me.

I know, I am all over the place!

I love my spinel, tourmaline, neon sapphire, star Sapphires... But I kind of feel like keeping things minimal, selling all of it and just getting a holy grail set and stop withy nonsense!

I sometimes feel like my obsession with bling is so unhealthy and selfish. And at other times, I feel like I work so hard, so I deserve it.

Also, all my rings have been just under a size 4. Now, I am most comfy in a tight size 5 ring size finger so my rings don't fit anymore!

For some unknown reason, now in my 40s, despite no real change in lifestyle, I am just getting bigger in size...clothing, ring size etc. I am really annoyed.

Thoughts?
Anyone ever feel that way?
 
Well, I understand what you’re going through, I think. Don’t make any quick decisions on your beautiful collection! Perimenopause is a beast! I think it’s quite possible the changes you are experiencing are due to perimenopause. I started experiencing symptoms in my early 40’s. Some weight gain, poor sleep patterns, less energy, my mood would change on a dime, etc. Just something to consider…. It’s not an easy transition into menopause for sure. I would just hate for you to make such a big decision and regret it. There is a book I would recommend reading. It’s been such a great help to me.

The New Menopause: Navigating Your Path Through Hormonal Change with Purpose, Power, and Facts https://a.co/d/02vGQyIC
 
Heck yeah. I feel like this too.
I have handfuls of gold rings, most of which range from size 4-6.
Very few fit properly due to arthritis this past year. I don't know what I should do with them all.
So I keep reaching for my silver rings, which are larger sizes.
I'm finding that bracelets and earrings are making me happier anyway.

About body size.....I'm almost 60, and I weigh the same as I did in 1986, yet my clothes fit differently.
 
Another vote for not being too hasty.

Sounds like perimenopause, as I started around 39 to notice symptoms of change. At the time, peri was FAR from my thoughts, but with the years that passed, the little niggles increased to bigger niggles of the same ilk, so all definitely hormone related at 39. I have gained a little weight over the last 4 years (I recently turned 50) but interestingly my ring size has stayed the same. However, the finger swell in heat / in heat from coming in from extreme cold, is huge & uncomfortable. Sometimes I can wear all 3 of my wedding rings stacked, but mostly I wear the eternity on my RH to save any discomfort.

Hormones have a LOT to answer for!
 
Perhaps consider moving your favorite stones to jewelry that's not worn on fingers.
 
Unfortunately, this does happen. When I was in my 20's and 30's my ring size was about a 4.25. In my 50's it went up to a 6. Now it's a 5.75 and that's only because I need that to get rings over my knuckles which have gotten bigger over the years. Otherwise, I'd be about a 5.25. That being said, I wouldn't just give up on jewelry that you love. As @kenny suggests, maybe take a few stones that you love and make a pendant or bracelet. And just put the others aside for now. Of course, if you don't love some of them, don't keep them. But quit resizing up and down. Wait a while. For my size six rings, I ended up putting in sizing beads/cushions in some, and that worked. I've reset the ones that I didn't love the settings in anyway. And there is stacking. But I wouldn't size down in the future because as you age, you may have the same knuckle issues that many of us do. But of course, if you just want one special set, then go for it. But don't do it if you think you will regret it.
 
Lookinagain said:
Unfortunately, this does happen. When I was in my 20's and 30's my ring size was about a 4.25. In my 50's it went up to a 6. Now it's a 5.75 and that's only because I need that to get rings over my knuckles which have gotten bigger over the years. Otherwise, I'd be about a 5.25. That being said, I wouldn't just give up on jewelry that you love. As @kenny suggests, maybe take a few stones that you love and make a pendant or bracelet. And just put the others aside for now. Of course, if you don't love some of them, don't keep them. But quit resizing up and down. Wait a while. For my size six rings, I ended up putting in sizing beads/cushions in some, and that worked. I've reset the ones that I didn't love the settings in anyway. And there is stacking. But I wouldn't size down in the future because as you age, you may have the same knuckle issues that many of us do. But of course, if you just want one special set, then go for it. But don't do it if you think you will regret it.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your words of wisdom. I agree, no more sizing down. I think I am just feeling pretty cranky about it all at the moment
 
Yup, I have fallen quite a bit out of love with owning so much jewelry and this coincides with turning 45 this past February. I haven’t made any moves though because I don’t want to regret anything.

My advice is not to make any hasty decisions but also know that you’re not alone with this feeling.
 
When I went through my health scare earlier this year, I felt so ashamed of all the pieces that I have collected. I kept thinking how shallow of me. Like. If I was terminal, what would I do with my collection? Why did I bother to collect such frivolous items? After I was give a clean bill of health, I told my DD and hubby that I was gonna give up collecting and they both disagreed. They reminded me that this hobby brings me joy. It is a form of collecting art, for me, and does no one any harm. I then reminded myself that the only reason I entertain myself with this hobby is because I am at peace with all my other aspects of my life. I will not argue that collecting jewelry is noble, lol, but—it does stimulate the economy. It is neither better nor worse than any other pursuit of pleasure paid for by disposable income. And as of today, I feel blessed that I can enjoy the process of acquiring and wearing these pieces. There will come a time when not even buying bling brings me joy. But for now, it still does. Hope this helps.
 
nala said:
When I went through my health scare earlier this year, I felt so ashamed of all the pieces that I have collected. I kept thinking how shallow of me. Like. If I was terminal, what would I do with my collection? Why did I bother to collect such frivolous items? After I was give a clean bill of health, I told my DD and hubby that I was gonna give up collecting and they both disagreed. They reminded me that this hobby brings me joy. It is a form of collecting art, for me, and does no one any harm. I then reminded myself that the only reason I entertain myself with this hobby is because I am at peace with all my other aspects of my life. I will not argue that collecting jewelry is noble, lol, but—it does stimulate the economy. It is neither better nor worse than any other pursuit of pleasure paid for by disposable income. And as of today, I feel blessed that I can enjoy the process of acquiring and wearing these pieces. There will come a time when not even buying bling brings me joy. But for now, it still does. Hope this helps.
Click to expand...

thank goodness for your family
its not like your drinking to excess and pi**ing money up aganist a brick wall
 
Breathe then go and clean and polish your pretties.
Certainly nothing wrong with repositioning your focus but don’t act hastily lest it leads to regret.
My days of size 5.5 fingers (and a body size 8) has long gone past, now a chunky 8 in the ring finger and my dress size embarrassing. Have to love the big M and a failed thyroid!
I digress, if you size your rings to fit your favourite finger at its fattest, you can simply use a ring sizer should the finger slim down. Hate to say it but apparently after the indignity of fat fingers in mid life, you get arthritic big knuckles and stick fingers. Oh the joy of aging.
Anyhow, I like bracelets and earrings now, they always fit.
 
Been there, done that, with having rings re-sized due to weight gain resulting in increase in finger sizes.

I have not bothered to do that with the earlier pieces I commissioned with CSs that are not that valuable, unless they have sentimental values like hand-me-downs from my mum.

With clothes, I just have them made bigger! :lol-2: I had been having formal business and evening clothes made for me since mid 90s as I was not able to find anything that fitted me well off the peg back then.

I am selling, and have sold, a number of my nicer precision cut colour stones as there is zero chance of them being set in the foreseeable future to pay tax bills etc..., enough said.

I also feel I don't really need anymore jewellery, and am happy with my own collection, despite always having items on my Bling Wish List.

I have sold some jewellery in the past, and know first hand what to expect and not to pin my hopes too high on getting anywhere near the replacement value for insurance purposes.

Hence I am only planning to sell my collection of nicer unset CSs and not finished pieces.

When the time comes, my jewellery collection will be given away to those closest to me, or donated to charitable organisations that I support for them to raise funds.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy wearing what I have as much as I can. One of the perks of being a member of a large service charity is the opportunities to dress up in finer clothes and jewellery to attend formal functions.

DK :))
 
The struggle is real. It's a cruel part of ageing that once women get over 30 we need to deduct about 100 daily calories for each decade. That's why unless we increase our activity we can gain weight even though we aren't eating more or have changed our lifestyle. Ugh!

I really like your idea of selling your rings and purchasing a holy grail set. Something that will bring you joy. The only downside is not getting nearly what you paid when you re-sell your beautiful rings.

What do you envision as your holy grail set?
 
dk168 said:
"I am selling, and have sold, a number of my nicer precision cut colour stones as there is zero chance of them being set in the foreseeable future to pay tax bills etc..., enough said."....."Hence I am only planning to sell my collection of nicer unset CSs and not finished pieces."
Click to expand...

To which I say - (looking at my gorgeous new tourmaline) - BLESS YOU, @dk168!

<3

:wavey:
 
My ring size increased a lot on my late 30s coinciding with some health issues. I had to sell some things that could not be sized and sized up new rings. My ring size has decreased a little lately as my health has improved. But I’m not sizing anything down. I’ve been using those silicon ring sizers or switching them to other fingers. I guess I’m saying size up and then just hold steady!

And as for selling it all, wait! Wait at least a few years (lol). Because times and tastes change and prices keep going up up up. I regret selling any of the things I sold about a decade ago during a big phase of flux in my life. The cost to replace now is so much higher.
 
Lisa Loves Shiny said:
The struggle is real. It's a cruel part of ageing that once women get over 30 we need to deduct about 100 daily calories for each decade. That's why unless we increase our activity we can gain weight even though we aren't eating more or have changed our lifestyle. Ugh!

I really like your idea of selling your rings and purchasing a holy grail set. Something that will bring you joy. The only downside is not getting nearly what you paid when you re-sell your beautiful rings.

What do you envision as your holy grail set?
Click to expand...

hmmm
you could have told me this 20 years ago :lol-2:
 
fiona00004 said:
As much as I love my collection, my ring size is always changing and I am fed up getting all my rings resized all the time. It gets $$$! I only wear rings on my ring finger and I feel just all over the place and fed up with (for some reason) not being a one ring girl and then not having my rings for me.

I know, I am all over the place!

I love my spinel, tourmaline, neon sapphire, star Sapphires... But I kind of feel like keeping things minimal, selling all of it and just getting a holy grail set and stop withy nonsense!

I sometimes feel like my obsession with bling is so unhealthy and selfish. And at other times, I feel like I work so hard, so I deserve it.

Also, all my rings have been just under a size 4. Now, I am most comfy in a tight size 5 ring size finger so my rings don't fit anymore!

For some unknown reason, now in my 40s, despite no real change in lifestyle, I am just getting bigger in size...clothing, ring size etc. I am really annoyed.

Thoughts?
Anyone ever feel that way?
Click to expand...

Yes definitely. Though I don’t attribute it to midlife crisis cause I passed that stage a long time ago lol
I just don’t wear bling anymore and I’m not that interested in it anymore.

But my DH doesn’t want me to part with any of it so for now I won’t. Maybe I’ll get back to the desire of wearing my jewels but I don’t think so tbh. We’ll see.

My advice is don’t do anything now. Sleep on it for at least six months. Then another six months after that. Don’t make any rash decisions you might regret
 
fiona00004 said:
As much as I love my collection, my ring size is always changing and I am fed up getting all my rings resized all the time. It gets $$$! I only wear rings on my ring finger and I feel just all over the place and fed up with (for some reason) not being a one ring girl and then not having my rings for me.

I know, I am all over the place!

I love my spinel, tourmaline, neon sapphire, star Sapphires... But I kind of feel like keeping things minimal, selling all of it and just getting a holy grail set and stop withy nonsense!

I sometimes feel like my obsession with bling is so unhealthy and selfish. And at other times, I feel like I work so hard, so I deserve it.

Also, all my rings have been just under a size 4. Now, I am most comfy in a tight size 5 ring size finger so my rings don't fit anymore!

For some unknown reason, now in my 40s, despite no real change in lifestyle, I am just getting bigger in size...clothing, ring size etc. I am really annoyed.

Thoughts?
Anyone ever feel that way?
Click to expand...

You better send it to me for safekeeping, so you don't do anything hasty. :lol-2:
 
Lisa Loves Shiny said:
The struggle is real. It's a cruel part of ageing that once women get over 30 we need to deduct about 100 daily calories for each decade. That's why unless we increase our activity we can gain weight even though we aren't eating more or have changed our lifestyle. Ugh!

I really like your idea of selling your rings and purchasing a holy grail set. Something that will bring you joy. The only downside is not getting nearly what you paid when you re-sell your beautiful rings.

What do you envision as your holy grail set?
Click to expand...

A holy grail set would be a natural diamond in an intricately detailed setting and band. Something similar to the recent ring that DK made me, but with natural diamonds instead of YAGs and moissy
 
fiona00004 said:
As much as I love my collection, my ring size is always changing and I am fed up getting all my rings resized all the time. It gets $$$! I only wear rings on my ring finger and I feel just all over the place and fed up with (for some reason) not being a one ring girl and then not having my rings for me.

I know, I am all over the place!

I love my spinel, tourmaline, neon sapphire, star Sapphires... But I kind of feel like keeping things minimal, selling all of it and just getting a holy grail set and stop withy nonsense!

I sometimes feel like my obsession with bling is so unhealthy and selfish. And at other times, I feel like I work so hard, so I deserve it.

Also, all my rings have been just under a size 4. Now, I am most comfy in a tight size 5 ring size finger so my rings don't fit anymore!

For some unknown reason, now in my 40s, despite no real change in lifestyle, I am just getting bigger in size...clothing, ring size etc. I am really annoyed.

Thoughts?
Anyone ever feel that way?
Click to expand...

I can totally relate to this... "the things we own end up owning us." Part of me wants to be free as a dove, live modestly, and just continue to support my community. The other part wants to indulge as much as possible while we're on this very short journey. lol It's an internal struggle for sure. In a wearable art sense, my jewels bring me a lot of joy. At the end of the day, I suppose moderation is key and it doesn't need to be one or the other.

My advice, if you're interested, would be to think long and hard on it. What would make you most happy? Does your bling still give you enjoyment or satisfaction? Do you feel constrained by your expenditures? I think if you ponder those questions for a bit, you'll find your answer. I wouldn't make a snap decision. Good luck!
 
I’m starting to feel like this too.

I’m slowly trying to get back to my pre Covid weight (still ten pounds to go) but my finger size is constant fortunately. The difference is that since Covid I just don’t socialise like I used to. So many of my rings don’t leave the drawer.

I keep them because I feel they are a back up. One day I might have to monetise them for college fees or something necessary. Not that I’d even know how to go about it (maybe a jewellery auction through an auction house?).

I just worry a lot more about money and the future and retirement so I feel more guilty when I spend money on my gems and settings.

I think I would feel much safer if I had all that value tucked away in the bank or an investment portfolio. I never used to feel that way. Perhaps I’m just getting old and boring.
 
I'm going through something similar, my mother died three years ago, and then my grandmother 2 years ago, and my father has dementia and I have had to pack and clean up a house and multiple sheds and dispose of their stuff.

I moved house and had jewellery in a storage unit that was suppose to be secure stolen. My new house was flooded about a month after we moved. I lost 3/4s of my clothing and possessions in the flood.

All of these dramatic life events are making me evaluate all of the stones and things I have collected over decades. I think possessions in general have lost meaning to me any more.
 
fiona00004 said:
As much as I love my collection, my ring size is always changing and I am fed up getting all my rings resized all the time. It gets $$$! I only wear rings on my ring finger and I feel just all over the place and fed up with (for some reason) not being a one ring girl and then not having my rings for me.

I know, I am all over the place!

I love my spinel, tourmaline, neon sapphire, star Sapphires... But I kind of feel like keeping things minimal, selling all of it and just getting a holy grail set and stop withy nonsense!

I sometimes feel like my obsession with bling is so unhealthy and selfish. And at other times, I feel like I work so hard, so I deserve it.

Also, all my rings have been just under a size 4. Now, I am most comfy in a tight size 5 ring size finger so my rings don't fit anymore!

For some unknown reason, now in my 40s, despite no real change in lifestyle, I am just getting bigger in size...clothing, ring size etc. I am really annoyed.

Thoughts?
Anyone ever feel that way?
Click to expand...

I feel that way as well. I sold almost all my jewelry and slpit the funds between my daughters. Neither of them share my interest. I'm down to My 3 stone, my Tiffany solitaire with a plain band, and a diamond band. They are all simple, and I wear one at a time. Big bling is just not me. Sometimes I am tempted to have only one ring too.
 
arkieb1 said:
I'm going through something similar, my mother died three years ago, and then my grandmother 2 years ago, and my father has dementia and I have had to pack and clean up a house and multiple sheds and dispose of their stuff.

I moved house and had jewellery in a storage unit that was suppose to be secure stolen. My new house was flooded about a month after we moved. I lost 3/4s of my clothing and possessions in the flood.

All of these dramatic life events are making me evaluate all of the stones and things I have collected over decades. I think possessions in general have lost meaning to me any more.
Click to expand...

im very sad to read this
its seems too much in such a short time
 
@fiona00004 -

I've gone through the same thing a lot over the last 5 or so years. My collection seemed to *irritate* me for some reason. So I pared it down - keeping less, and getting rid of anything that was a duplicate or overlap with another piece, or wasn't 100% up to par with where I wanted my pieces to be. This helped a lot. While it still left me with a considerable number pieces, I no longer feel as tho I have endless pieces for no reason. Everything fills some sort of gap, and I enjoy every piece I have within its designated space, while the whole collection feels more...manageable?

I'll probably pare down more over time. I have a 2ct diamond I'm about to set in a solitaire and I'll be making a 5 stone next year, and I can see both of those becoming the core pieces of a much smaller collection - smaller both numerically, and in ctw. But that won't be for a few years yet, and in the meantime I'm enjoying what I have and the way they all sit together.

So - TLDR: for me, the irritation came through having endless pieces that overlapped or that I didn't *really* love. Once I got rid of those, the irritation left, while I retain the option to pare down further in future.
 
seaurchin said:
You're getting DK's big green tourmaline?
Click to expand...

Not the big one, no. I bought the...4ct one? I'm unsure of the ctw offhand, but it was something like that. It's a gorgeous stone.

ETA I bought this one, @seaurchin:

Sold - Oval Green Tourmaline 4.85ct cut by Jeff White

I have listed a fairly large oval cut green Tourmaline cut by Jeff White on Loup Troop: Oval Green Tourmaline 4.85ct cut by Jeff White I don't have a glamour shot from him, and this still was taken from the video he made for me of the finished stone: The video can be viewed via this link...
www.pricescope.com
 
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