Menopause stories

[Calliecake]

When I was in my early 40’s, a friend at work came to my desk with sweat dripping from her forehead. It was January in Chicago. The office was freezing. She said she felt like she was on fire. Her husband worked with us. She told me to please not let her kill her husband. When I asked her what he did? She said he looked at her. I sat her down and went to get a big cup of ice water for her. As I walking away to get it, she said she may be naked when I come back.

I remember at the time thinking none of this would ever happen to me. LOL was I wrong.

 

[Matata]

I had very few hot flashes but I felt like I didn't fit in my skin, that there were 2 people inhabiting my body one of whom was a serial killer, and the level of grumpiness was off the charts. I also cried a lot at sweet and cute things and some things that never made any sense. Oh look at that pretty flower WAAAHHHHHHH, kittens and babies WAAAAHHHHHHH. This is the best BLT sandwich I've ever had SOB.

 

[Mooshi]

Honestly as someone who hasn't gone through this yet and is terrified, I hope this thread doesn't become only a recount of everyones horror stories, and that people chime in if it didn't affect them as much, or if it was only bad periodically. The shock of reading nothing but the extremes is just a part of being on the internet/social media I get, but it's hard to differentiate if that's just how it is (all terrible, all of the time) or if that's just some peoples experiences and not all, or if that's just some of the time.

Please don't think this is me poo-pooing people talking about the terribleness, that's not my intent!

 

[empliau]

Honestly as someone who hasn't gone through this yet and is terrified, I hope this thread doesn't become only a recount of everyones horror stories, and that people chime in if it didn't affect them as much, or if it was only bad periodically. The shock of reading nothing but the extremes is just a part of being on the internet/social media I get, but it's hard to differentiate if that's just how it is (all terrible, all of the time) or if that's just some peoples experiences and not all, or if that's just some of the time.

Please don't think this is me poo-pooing people talking about the terribleness, that's not my intent!

Ah, but you see there is no real interest in "meh, wasn't so bad." Of course it's valid as the experience of some (lucky bastards!) but how does it make a story?

Flip side - women's experiences have been so varied, and so often hushed up when inconvenient. The Sandra Tsing Loh I quoted ended, quite sadly (hence the abrupt chopping off) with the fact that her mother retreated to her room and didn't come out much - depression took a heavy toll on both her and her family.

For myself, I had uncomfortable hot flashes, although I didn't sweat through my clothes. So I got off relatively easily. And I started during the heyday of "hormones will give you breast cancer!" so I wasn't ever treated with them. Women who use HRT have, often, a much easier time and the cancer risk is, I believe, quite minimal.

There is hope and you will have options, most likely.

 

[Lookinagain]

I hope this thread doesn't become only a recount of everyones horror stories, and that people chime in if it didn't affect them as much, or if it was only bad periodically.

Well, I have one of those boring stories that it didn't affect me too much. I got what I think they call "hot flushes", not "flashes" where I would get warm all of a sudden for no reason, but I never broke into a sweat. I did not take any hormones. I also don't recall that I wanted to kill anybody.

 

[Arcadian]

Honestly as someone who hasn't gone through this yet and is terrified, I hope this thread doesn't become only a recount of everyones horror stories, and that people chime in if it didn't affect them as much, or if it was only bad periodically. The shock of reading nothing but the extremes is just a part of being on the internet/social media I get, but it's hard to differentiate if that's just how it is (all terrible, all of the time) or if that's just some peoples experiences and not all, or if that's just some of the time.

Please don't think this is me poo-pooing people talking about the terribleness, that's not my intent!

Menopause is different for everyone. There are women that definitely have every symptom and then some and then there's some that really don't.

My SIL was very lucky because she barely had any symptoms at all.

Back in my 20's I was in a medical menopause for an extended period of time and I called my mother and apologized..that was heinous. But, when I went into the real thing the outward stuff, like hot flashes, really weren't as bad. My worst symptoms was heart palpitations and brain fog, combined with feeling like I was sleeping on a ice slab at 3am. Thankfully these things are managed with the right combination of meds.

The truth: aging happens, it comes for us all. Most things can be managed with a combination of exercise, diet, meds.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Sorry to disappoint. I'm 52 and one of those that does not have a horror story, I can say that I'm in full menopause now (1 year without menstrual cycle) and at the beginning of "the change", I would experience PMS symptoms like sore breasts, headaches, cramping and bloating, but no bleeding. Now that I'm a full year in, I don't have PMS symptoms anymore. Also, no physical changes in my appearance (like loss of hair, or skin elasticity etc) that I can detect.

 

[ecf8503]

I think I got off fairly easily. No hot flashes, no excessive or out of the ordinary mood swings, etc. My hormone levels are consistent with menopause now. But I had some spotting, so I had my uterus ultrasounded. The lining is thick, so she did a scrape through the cervix (do not recommend) to get some cells, which are consistent w a polyp. So now I get to have another D&C (had one 20-ish years ago for a non-viable pregnancy). But I can't complain about menopause itself!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Honestly as someone who hasn't gone through this yet and is terrified, I hope this thread doesn't become only a recount of everyones horror stories, and that people chime in if it didn't affect them as much, or if it was only bad periodically. The shock of reading nothing but the extremes is just a part of being on the internet/social media I get, but it's hard to differentiate if that's just how it is (all terrible, all of the time) or if that's just some peoples experiences and not all, or if that's just some of the time.

Please don't think this is me poo-pooing people talking about the terribleness, that's not my intent!

im too scared to read any more of this tread
my boss said she became so depressed and it was horrible and went on for years
i too need some less dramatic stories

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

nope
too scared
i'll be back when i need to

Celebrities who have spoken openly about menopause - and what they had to say

Celebrities such as Oprah Winfrey and Jennifer Aniston have helped combat the 'taboo' of talking about menopause in the public eye

www.womanandhome.com

no wonder it was never talked about

Sophie, Countess of Wessex says menopause felt like someone had taken brain out

The countess, who has two children with husband Prince Edward , thinks the life change should be talked about more openly to help get over the stigma and break the taboos

www.mirror.co.uk

 

[dk168]

I had been taking Menopace, a menopause supplement brand in the UK at least 5 years if not longer before the onset of menopause.

I did not take HRT as oral hormonal preparations did not suit me.

In my late 40s, when I was due a IUD coil change, I was advised to switch to a Mirena coil which delivered low dose of Progesterone only locally, and it was a game changer as the periods went away, along with the symptoms of pre-menstrual tension and period pains.

I had to change the Mirena once in my mid 50s. When the second one started to become ineffective as I was getting spotting, I was informed it would not be replaced as I would be menopausal soon if not already started. Thanks NHS I thought at the time.

When I went for my routine cervical smear test in my late 50s, I requested for the Mirena coil which was by then functioning as just a non-hormonal IUD to be removed,

I did experience hot flushes from time to time while I was going through the change in my 50s. However, not as bad as what some ladies I know had been through. Good job I have air conditioning at home and in my vehicles!

The brain fog was the main issue for me; however, that could also be related to being Type 2 Diabetes which was confirmed when I was in my mid 50s too.

Overall, I believe I got off lightly compared with the horror stories I have heard from my lady friends.

I am still taking Menopace on a daily basis as a multi vitamins and minerals supplement, along with Omega Fish Oil and Glucosamine for my joints, on top of my regular medications for diabetes (2 types) and a statin to lower my Cholesterol.

Thank goodness it is over now as I do not have hot flushes anymore.

DK

 

[MoxiRoxi]

I have severe hot flashes and night sweats. I soak through my clothes and sheets, multiple times a night and less frequently during the day. When I have an episode, every pore in my body sweats. It’s embarrassing, uncomfortable, disrupts my sleep although the spells only last a minute or two.

I have none of the other symptoms of perimenopause. I’m about 7 months without a cycle. I made it 7 months last year as well and reset the clock in December.

I was on HRT and felt great but was having some other issues that my doctor and I couldn’t rule out if it was the HRT causing it. So I stopped in 2023.

I’m contemplating trying HRT again as I haven’t had more than a few hours of sleep in a row for several months. Despite changing my diet (no caffeine, salt) and trying to exercise more I’m at my wits end.

At least my mood is stable and I still like my husband lol.

 

[lyra]

I was completely done and dusted with menopause by 50. Hot flashes bothered me because I felt anxious when they'd come on if I was out of the house. It triggered a bit of panic in me that everyone would notice (no one ever did). I also had some big mood swings, but it all went so quickly and was done. I was not eligible for HRT.

 

[pearlsngems]

It wasn't too bad for me, but I did have a "private vacation in the tropics" more often than I liked (fanning myself, remembering.)

 

[SparklieBug]

Another "ho-hum, meh" story, here. I had early onset, and didn't realize it. I didn't have yearly checkups, but also didn't think to mention anything to my doctor, as I'd always had very light menstruation, like barely there. No cramps, no moodiness/PMS, etc.

I decided to have a tubal ligation around 38-39 years old, and it seemed like shortly after that, menopause hit. I didn't have hot flashes, no temperamental or murderous urges, etc. I think I probably had a bit of fuzzy-brain/mind, but not enough to bother me, and there were lots of friends who also had fuzzy-brain, so I thought it was just a mid-life thing. My doctor said there was no correlation between the tubal, and early menopause, but I still wonder.

 

[Calliecake]

LOL @pearlsngems, I used to say I was having my own personal summer. DH would wake up in the morning and say the house was so cold he could see his breath.

I thought I would escape the symptoms because my mom breezed thru it. The hot flashes were so bad I slept with ice packs. When they hit, it felt like my insides were on fire. I didn’t sweat very much though. I couldn’t sleep more than 2 or 3 hours a night. The anxiety was terrible at times. I felt like everything I did was wrong. I didn’t feel angry or mad so I was lucky I escaped that symptom. I only cried a couple of times but when I did, I was sobbing and it was over crazy things. HRT helped so much. I wish I’d gone to the doctor sooner. The symptoms went away after a little over a year except for the hot flashes. I still have them, though they aren't nearly as often.

@MoxiRoxi, I loved my husband thru all of it but it probably helped that he was out of the country for work a lot. LOL.

@Mooshi and @Daisys and Diamonds, If you end up having bad symptoms go to the doctor right away. There are things that can help greatly.