LALove
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2009
- Messages
- 1,048
And by "we", I mean ME!
Came across this article the other day:
http://www.rd.com/slideshows/13-things-your-mother-in-law-wont-tell-you/
Oh man, the first point made me weepy! (Must be hormones.) I imagined that was me holding DS's arm while being "replaced" by his wife.
Of course moms aren't really replaced- a mom is a mom and irreplaceable but normally a wife does take over the #1 woman role in a man's life.
My relationship with my MIL started out horribly! She hated me from the start, for absolutely no reason. I see now that she thought I was taking her (only) son away. She would nitpick and start fights over the most ridiculous things. My reaction was to get mad at her crazy and irrational behavior and have less to do with her. Which made her even more upset so I'd withdraw more and so on. Had she just told me her true feelings from the start, we could have avoided years of drama. Of course now, since I have my own son, it's easier for me to see how she may have felt. This article really made me realize - again - how she may have felt/still feel with this change. If I can see her point of view, and she mine, we'll have understanding and it will be easier to work out our issues.
Today our relationship is pretty good- I think she uses DS as a substitute for DH in terms of doting and getting to care for someone again. She's a great grandma! I'm very thankful for that.
Here's the same type of article for MILs:
http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/mother-in-law-daughter-in-law/sshow10-things-daughter-in-law-wont-tell
You know how some couples go through counseling before they get married? I think it'd be a good idea for MILs and DILs to do so as well!
Just thought I'd share these articles in case they can help the MILs and DILs out there gain some understanding.
Came across this article the other day:
http://www.rd.com/slideshows/13-things-your-mother-in-law-wont-tell-you/
Oh man, the first point made me weepy! (Must be hormones.) I imagined that was me holding DS's arm while being "replaced" by his wife.
Of course moms aren't really replaced- a mom is a mom and irreplaceable but normally a wife does take over the #1 woman role in a man's life.
My relationship with my MIL started out horribly! She hated me from the start, for absolutely no reason. I see now that she thought I was taking her (only) son away. She would nitpick and start fights over the most ridiculous things. My reaction was to get mad at her crazy and irrational behavior and have less to do with her. Which made her even more upset so I'd withdraw more and so on. Had she just told me her true feelings from the start, we could have avoided years of drama. Of course now, since I have my own son, it's easier for me to see how she may have felt. This article really made me realize - again - how she may have felt/still feel with this change. If I can see her point of view, and she mine, we'll have understanding and it will be easier to work out our issues.
Today our relationship is pretty good- I think she uses DS as a substitute for DH in terms of doting and getting to care for someone again. She's a great grandma! I'm very thankful for that.
Here's the same type of article for MILs:
http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/mother-in-law-daughter-in-law/sshow10-things-daughter-in-law-wont-tell
You know how some couples go through counseling before they get married? I think it'd be a good idea for MILs and DILs to do so as well!
Just thought I'd share these articles in case they can help the MILs and DILs out there gain some understanding.