Marriage Isn't for You

[pandabee]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/marriage-isnt-for-you_b_4209837.html this blog post has been going viral lately and been showing up shared from lots of my friends' profiles on Facebook. What are your thoughts on it? I think it is true to a point, but I brought it up to SO and he thinks it's bologna. He said that (while he fully does want to marry me), he would not want to get married if he did not and I did, just to make me happy. I think I see both sides of it. As the article mentions, we are becoming a very "me" centered society. But at what point do we need to put our needs/wants first before others? What about always putting your partner's needs/wants first? I think either extreme wouldn't be healthy.

Discuss

 

[wakingdreams53]

I posted that article in Hangout to the "Do you love yourself more?" thread too .
I don't think your SO understood the point. It's not about one person wanting to get married and the other person not, it's about understanding that the world doesn't revolve around a single person. In the article, they had known each other for an extremely long time and he knew that she was the one for him, but he was undergoing an internal me vs. we. People generally have difficulty letting go of their egos, regardless of how much love they have for another.
FI asked a couple who were celebrating their 50th anniversary what their secret is. They said, "Always put the other person first, if you both do that then you'll will always be taken care of." Not to end on a preposition, but I whole-heartedly agree and saw a parallel in that blog post.

 

[pandabee]

Oops I admit I saw the thread in hangout but didn't click on it. I'll have to read through and see some of the comments. He didn't read it and I am probably a very poor summarizer so he was going off that single point (and it was right before bed so he wasn't much in the mood for discussing things like this) and I didn't get a chance to let him explain his feelings furher. Will update later with his thoughts...

I wrote out a long response to comparing types of things one person might sacrifice in their relationship for someone they love but be more I typed, the more I don't understand how if you have a couple who loves each other, why they wouldn't make it work to do what your partner wants to be happy. Nothing in life is set and things are always changing, so you gotta learn to just adapt to them as your needs and wants change (just hope that your partner never changes on wanting to be with you )