"Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this weird?

[Trekkie]

I don't really have any close girlfriends and have been dreading the thought of choosing a bridesmaid.

Today, as a joke, I asked my best friend if he would be my "Man of Honour". He immediately accepted.

I know a few girls who would love to be bridesmaids but I don't feel comfortable choosing a mere acquaintance over someone who has been my best friend for years and years.

Now I'm wondering... Is this a bit weird?

Did you have a Man of Honour at your wedding?

 

[bobbin]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I think it is fine. I had three girls as bridesmaids, but I don't have a male best friend. I am a firm believer that apart from the legalities of the day, there are NO rules when it comes to weddings. Yes, some people may be taken aback at first, but I don't think anyone will think badly of you for doing it, and if they do, they are horrible people lol!

 

[Echidna]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Trekkie, I'm having my brother as Man of Honour and my sister as Matron of Honour. I do get funny looks when I tell people this, but I figure that's their problem

I think it's really important to have the right people standing with you when you marry. It sounds like your best friend is the right person for you.

 

[vc10um]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I did not have a Man of Honour but I do recall several brides on here having Men or Dudes of Honor and I hope they speak up!

One of my friends recently got married. She has two brothers. Her now-DH has a brother and a sister. Instead of throwing all the guys on one side and forcing the two of them to come up with two additional girls to ask, each just had their siblings stand up for them. I thought it was a fabulous idea!

So...do what feels good to you!

 

[Trekkie]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I think it is fine. I had three girls as bridesmaids, but I don't have a male best friend. I am a firm believer that apart from the legalities of the day, there are NO rules when it comes to weddings. Yes, some people may be taken aback at first, but I don't think anyone will think badly of you for doing it, and if they do, they are horrible people lol!

Yay! Thanks Bobbin, that really helps! My FI's family is quite conservative, and even though they love my BFF, I think they will be surprised that I asked him to stand up with me.

Trekkie, I'm having my brother as Man of Honour and my sister as Matron of Honour. I do get funny looks when I tell people this, but I figure that's their problem

I think it's really important to have the right people standing with you when you marry. It sounds like your best friend is the right person for you.

Glad someone understands. I mean, there are dozens of girls I could ask, but it just wouldn't be the same as having my best friend. I'm very glad he accepted.

I did not have a Man of Honour but I do recall several brides on here having Men or Dudes of Honor and I hope they speak up!

One of my friends recently got married. She has two brothers. Her now-DH has a brother and a sister. Instead of throwing all the guys on one side and forcing the two of them to come up with two additional girls to ask, each just had their siblings stand up for them. I thought it was a fabulous idea!

So...do what feels good to you!

That is indeed a fabulous idea! I'm glad it is becoming more acceptable for the bride to have male attendants!

 

[rosetta]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

It's your wedding; you get to do what you want!

My BIL and SIL will stand up for us, whilst my own sibs are not in the wedding at all.

Reason?

I like my in-laws better and my sibs are very self-centred and don't want to be in the wedding.

It works for me.

Have your nearest and dearest stand up for you: they are the ones who won't let you down. It doesn't matter who they are at all!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Not weird at all. I think your bridal party should reflect the **people** closest to you...they don't have to be friends, they can be family and they certainly don't have to be women, they can be men. Whomever you choose is someone who should stand up for you that day and that's all that matters.

 

[decodelighted]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

We had a casual wedding ... so I had a "Dude of Honor".

 

[lucyandroger]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Not weird at all. I was my brother's best WOman.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I think it's pretty cool! Besides...I think the position is meant to be filled with someone that is important to you, enough to be asked!

 

[mrscushion]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I think it's fine!

 

[slg47]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I plan on having a Man of Honor...but...question? sometimes the MOH does things like fluffs out the train, holds the bouquet, etc...would it be better if I assigned one of the bridesmaids to these duties?

 

[sillyberry]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I plan on having a Man of Honor...but...question? sometimes the MOH does things like fluffs out the train, holds the bouquet, etc...would it be better if I assigned one of the bridesmaids to these duties?

I probably would. I was a bridesmaid for a friend whose Maid of Honor (her sister) was not so into anything frilly and she had me fluff the train and do the bustle.

(and to answer the original question - having a Man of Honour is way better than having someone you are less close to just for the sake of tradition!)

 

[slg47]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I plan on having a Man of Honor...but...question? sometimes the MOH does things like fluffs out the train, holds the bouquet, etc...would it be better if I assigned one of the bridesmaids to these duties?

I probably would. I was a bridesmaid for a friend whose Maid of Honor (her sister) was not so into anything frilly and she had me fluff the train and do the bustle.

(and to answer the original question - having a Man of Honour is way better than having someone you are less close to just for the sake of tradition!)

ok, so other question...the MOH usually walks in last, so stands closest to the bride...however, the train fluffer/bouquet holder should also be closest to the bride, no? I am just curious about logistics, should the man of honor walk in last, or first, or walk in last but then stand farthest from the bride?

 

[sillyberry]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

ok, so other question...the MOH usually walks in last, so stands closest to the bride...however, the train fluffer/bouquet holder should also be closest to the bride, no? I am just curious about logistics, should the man of honor walk in last, or first, or walk in last but then stand farthest from the bride?

I would still have him walk in last and stand closest to the bride in the place of honor. I was the first bridesmaid behind the MOH and was plenty close to handle the train. If you don't want him to hold the bouquet (or he doesn't want to), he could easily pass it along to the bridesmaid next to him.

 

[stephbolt]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I've been to two weddings with Men of Honor! In one case it was the bride's brother and in the other it was her best friend. They both held the bouquet and fluffed out her train during the ceremony. The only issue was in the case where it was her brother, the girliness of the hair/makeup/getting ready overwhelmed him and he kept disappearing downstairs to where the groom and groomsmen were hanging out. I was a bridesmaid in that wedding and made three or four trips through the historic house the wedding was at searching for him so we could take photos or give him the ring or other things like that.

 

[rubybeth]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Oh, I love this idea and I think my sister will end up having a Man of Honor, too, since she's had a guy best friend since age 4. For our wedding, DH's best friend was in S. Korea and couldn't come back so he had a Best Woman (mutual friend of theirs who could make it) and it was great. It's your and future husband's wedding, do what you want and are comfortable with.

I think the other posts about logistical questions are helpful. I'd just add one more thing: you could also have someone be your 'personal attendant' who isn't in the procession or official wedding party to help with hair/makeup, issues that might crop up, help at the reception, etc. I was a personal attendant for my cousin's wife, and I could rush around doing things while the bridesmaids got ready, made sure her bouquet made it safely to the reception site, and was just generally around and about to help her. I was listed in the program as her personal attendant, and we got a couple photos of just the two of us together, which was nice.

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Go for it! No reason not too. If anyone gawks, let them. It's YOUR wedding and if that's who YOU want to have, you should, definitely. Gender roles are so interchangeable these days, many traditions no longer have to apply.

 

[Diamond.Lover]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I think it's a great idea. The person of honor should be someone close to you, someone who will be there for you through thick and thin. If that person is a man, go for it!

 

[Trekkie]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Thanks so much! The support has been overwhelming! I just hope the people in the real world will view it the way my PS friends do!

It is gratifying to see so many people abandon gender roles. This is what equality feels like.

Also, thanks for bringing to my attention the need to have someone "fuss" over me. I think I'll enlist my new SILs for that role!

 

[StonieGrl]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Definitely not weird! No worries Your attendants should be your nearest/dearest without regard to antiquated gender roles.

 

[kama_s]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

Trekkie, I didn't really want a bridal party. So we just had our siblings stand up for us. My husband's brother was his best man and my little brother was my man of honour. I loved having him up there on my side - he even held my huge bouquet of flowers!

 

[luvshinyrocks]

Re: "Man of honour" instead of "maid of honour". Is this wei

I'm having both! My Man of Honor is a close friend from college, and my Maid of Honor is a close friend from grad school. I figure that they can split the traditional MOH duties - she can do the more "girly" stuff, and he can do the rest.