Making a good first impression with new neighbors...

[wsu12]

Hi All,
My husband and I just moved from Orlando, Florida to Dallas, Texas this past weekend. We both know a total of 0 people. I''ll cut to the chase..So far the situation with the neighbors is not so great. I introduced myself and felt I got the cold shoulder in return. Any suggestions on ways to break the ice? I would love to have them over (both sides) for wine and cheese this weekend but unfortunately our furniture has not arrive (movers suck!) yet. Will be here early next week. Any suggestions welcome.

TIA.

 

[MishB]

I can only say, be model neighbours as much as you can (eg not too much noise, bring your garbage cans in promptly etc), when you see them, smile and wave and say hi. As soon as you can pop a note in their mailboxes and invite them over for drinks.

We did this a few weeks ago, we invited the old couples on either side of us (they have lived here since the houses were built - 60 years!) And the 3 houses across the road. They all came, they all already knew each other and were lovely and welcoming. We now feel part of the immediate neighbourhood, it''s very nice.

 

[Cehrabehra]

is there anyone where you or your dh work that can give you some insight into the local customs or behaviors? I''ve lived in all 4 corners of the usa and people are different in how they receive people. Pity the new neighbors didn''t welcome YOU

 

[yssie]

Date: 2/19/2010 3:32:09 AM
Author: Cehrabehra
is there anyone where you or your dh work that can give you some insight into the local customs or behaviors? I''ve lived in all 4 corners of the usa and people are different in how they receive people. Pity the new neighbors didn''t welcome YOU

Yup

.



Homebaked cookies always seem to help, though

 

[LilyKat]

Some people take a while to warm up to strangers. Don''t be discouraged. Be good neighbours and invite them around for cookies and wine asap. Keep trying until they crack

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

I don''t have any immediate neighbours, but the people in our village are very reserved. It took them a while to accept the incomers (and I was born only a few miles down the road).

If people aren''t crazy about making friends with a neighbour, I wouldn''t push it. It might happen over time, though - it did for us.

That said, I''ve had neighbours who have been quite close friends, and we had a falling out. It did not make me want to stay living in that particular place, I never felt relaxed there again.

 

[dragonfly411]

We still have yet to speak to our neighbors on one side

They''ve been very ... private I guess is the word. I know very few people in our neighborhood. The only ones we really know are the two young gay men to the left of us who are so so so funny, they always come out when we''re outside working on vehicles or doing something outside and chat, and we watch out for each other in case of scary or strange things.

 

[Puppmom]

Don''t put up a fence the week you move in.

That''s what we did and it really put our neighbors off. It really was just to keep our dog in. We were new homeowners and much younger than our neighbors and they just plain didn''t like it. They''ve since come around and we''re polite. They even dug us out during the big northeast blizzards! I still wouldn''t really want to hang out with them...cordial is plenty for me.

 

[ladypirate]

I think having them over for wine and cheese is a great idea! I''m sorry your neighbors are not being friendly. When our new neighbor moved in last month I brought her some cookies. A neighbor down the street did the same for us when we moved in.

 

[Steel]

Date: 2/19/2010 6:05:04 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
I don''t have any immediate neighbours, but the people in our village are very reserved. It took them a while to accept the incomers (and I was born only a few miles down the road).

If people aren''t crazy about making friends with a neighbour, I wouldn''t push it. It might happen over time, though - it did for us.

That said, I''ve had neighbours who have been quite close friends, and we had a falling out. It did not make me want to stay living in that particular place, I never felt relaxed there again.

I''m in a rural area too and give this advice a great big old ditto.

Be known and judged for your behaviour. Be kind and civil every day and you will make friends.

 

[ChinaCat]

Texans are generally a pretty friendly bunch. I definitely think inviting them over for wine and cheese is a great idea! What part of Dallas did you move to? I grew up around there.

Good luck in your new home!

 

[Arkteia]

We lived in a very small neighborhood in Massachusetts and people were very friendly. Now our street is a dead-end but it is very long and people do not know each other well. They used to have get-togethers once a year but it has stopped, too. We had great people living across the street - a gay couple, they were very helpful and took care of our cat when we would travel. Then they moved, the new couple is quite sweet, they are young and have two girls who are my son''s age. Not that we are friends but you know that you can count on them if something happens. Other than that, people do not mingle.

I read an article Seattle magazine - it mentioned that the culture of Pacific West was quite reserved and people prefered to spend time with their families. There is a term "neighbor-stalkers", if you can believe it! I never heard it, but it was written in a serious magazine. So we had to change and adjust. Usually it is easy except for times when it snows. We live in unincorportated area and neither city wants to move the snow. Everyone whines about the amount of $$ they are losing by staying at home - what''s the big deal, take a shovel and move the snow on the street in front of your house. If everyone does it, the street will be clean! Good exercise, too. Yet very few people are doing it. I still can not understand why.

 

[zoebartlett]

I think it''s a great idea to invite your neighbors over for wine and cheese. Until your furniture arrives though, maybe you could bring your neighbors cookies, brownies, or something. I think Yssie suggested this too. It seems like a strange thing to suggest because it would be thoughtful if THEY did that, but it would be a friendly way to introduce yourselves anyway.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/19/2010 7:04:39 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
I think it''s a great idea to invite your neighbors over for wine and cheese. Until your furniture arrives though, maybe you could bring your neighbors cookies, brownies, or something. I think Yssie suggested this too. It seems like a strange thing to suggest because it would be thoughtful if THEY did that, but it would be a friendly way to introduce yourselves anyway.

She probably cannot cook yet if she has no stuffs - but she could write her info (email, phone) down on a piece of paper and go over and introduce herself.

 

[wsu12]

Date: 2/19/2010 3:50:59 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Texans are generally a pretty friendly bunch. I definitely think inviting them over for wine and cheese is a great idea! What part of Dallas did you move to? I grew up around there.


Good luck in your new home!

We live in Lakewood, near White Rock Lake.

 

[wsu12]

Date: 2/19/2010 8:45:22 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 2/19/2010 7:04:39 PM

Author: ZoeBartlett

I think it''s a great idea to invite your neighbors over for wine and cheese. Until your furniture arrives though, maybe you could bring your neighbors cookies, brownies, or something. I think Yssie suggested this too. It seems like a strange thing to suggest because it would be thoughtful if THEY did that, but it would be a friendly way to introduce yourselves anyway.

She probably cannot cook yet if she has no stuffs - but she could write her info (email, phone) down on a piece of paper and go over and introduce herself.

No cooking materials but I love the idea of making cookies. I shall do that as soon as our things arrive. Thanks Ladies as always you are a great help.

 

[zoebartlett]

Oh yeah, I didn''t think of the "no cooking materials" thing. Okay, scratch that.

Maybe for now exchanging contact info. would be good. You can always opt to have your neighbors over later.