Maid and gardener is lazy!

[MichelleCarmen]

All she does is play around on Pricescope all day!!!

Does anyone have a regular weekly or monthly cleaning schedual that you follow to keep you on track, or do you just wing it?

Before installing our carpet, we moved all of our office stuff and kids'' belongings out of their rooms and that is when I realized that the house is just going down hill. I have NO motivation and no regular routine and the dust has truely collected to prove so. I''m just wondering how you all schedual your cleaning. FWIW, I have one husband, two kids, many many cats, in a 2,600 sq ft house & also a huge landscaped yard (I mean botanically landscaped!) and I''m taking it ALL on - the yard my dh was doing, but now because my husband is selling his business and getting a job outside of the house and won''t have time to do that part.

How oh how do I do all this? lol (I told DH I''d only spend 1/2 hr on the computer a day and he''s very much releaved.)

 

[Lorelei]

Try this www.flylady.com

I have found this website to be so useful and really helps me get motivated. They can help you get a routine and even send you motivational emails if you so wish!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

oooh, yeah!!! Thanks. I recall hearing about that website years back but entirely forgot. Exactly what I need.

 

[Skippy123]

Michelle, you are sooo cute; I love the title of the thread. I was thinking "wow, it must be nice to have both a gardener and maid?!?!" hehee
I go into cleaning spurts; I will turn up the music and start cleaning. I find great "rock out" music helps and get the kids and hubby to help too if you can. My sister and I use to help our parents when we were young. My husband helps me declutter and I clean which is a good combo. I will need to check out fly girl; I use to have a cleaning person but I would end up picking up for them to clean and had to supervise so I like doing it better myself. Maybe get someone to clean less often or do the jobs you hate??

ETA: we have a huge yard so we pay someone once a year to cut back everything and it is so worth it. Hubby and I both take care of the yard after the clean up.

ETAA: I bet wine works

but I am not so sure how good the cleaning is. hehee

 

[lyra]

Date: 1/15/2008 4:17:34 PM
Author: Lorelei
Try this www.flylady.com

I have found this website to be so useful and really helps me get motivated. They can help you get a routine and even send you motivational emails if you so wish!

Oooh, thanks. I had read that at one time and then forgot the name. It was my inspiration to begin with a clean sink every night.

You know what my biggest hangup is? Shredding paperwork. I have a mountain of it sitting in my bedroom. I hate doing it, but it must be done. Maybe I can force myself to do that tonight. I''d feel better if I did. Then I could get the rest of the bedroom under control. We used to have a separate office in our last house, it was so much easier than this!!!

 

[decodelighted]

Oh MC!!! Good question! I am right there with ya ... I freelance (mostly from home) and am now gonna be 100% in charge of our housecleaning/errands etc as DH is changing jobs to one with a L-O-N-G commute (and bringing home most of the bacon, oy).

I''m afraid I''ve gotten used to having a cleaning lady and am feeling bratty/pouty/rebellious at the new state of my budget/current lot in life. ARG. Was never the best cleaner ... horrible gardener ... my normal technique of "throw everything out" is not workable with this new clutterbug husband of mine. Rage. Overwhelmed. And I don''t even have any freakin kids!!! I can''t IMAGINE what THAT would be like. Applause all around.

Perused Flylady a few times. Have the "clean sink" thing down pat but couldn''t stomach "real shoes" all day long. She lost me there. Harumph.

Interested to hear others'' coping techniques/magical pills/wine recommendations?

 

[MrsRogers]

Hubby and I just moved into our new house 2 months ago. I decided to devise a cleaning schedule off the bat so that we could stay on top of the cleaning, and not get behind. We made a deal that he would be responsible for vacuuming & sweeping, while I will mop, dust, and clean all three bathrooms.

Personally I think I got the better deal as almost all 2200 sq ft is carpeted !! Anyway, we basically clean one floor each weekend (we have 3 floors), and so far so good. It only takes us an hour and a half tops, and we usually get it done and out of the way on a Saturday morning leaving the rest of the weekend to relax, hangout, etc.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

Date: 1/15/2008 4:15:12 PM
Author:MC
All she does is play around on Pricescope all day!!!

LOL! I have the same problem!

 

[HollyS]

My coping technique? I ignore.

Actually, with just the hubby, me and one cat, it''s okay to vacuum and dust every two weeks. I''m not very messy, so I don''t have to constantly ''pick up'' the house. Laundry gets done on a need-to basis when there are full loads. Bathrooms are kept ''wiped down'' with those very handy Lysol wipes; swipe, swipe, done.

Now, have I unpacked every box from our move in November? Are you serious?

Are all the leaves raked and the yard tidy for the coming spring? Please, I have allergies.

Have I put away everything remotely Christmassy? Get real! Maybe in February.

 

[Harleigh]

Date: 1/15/2008 7:10:17 PM
Author: HollyS
My coping technique? I ignore.

Actually, with just the hubby, me and one cat, it''s okay to vacuum and dust every two weeks. I''m not very messy, so I don''t have to constantly ''pick up'' the house. Laundry gets done on a need-to basis when there are full loads. Bathrooms are kept ''wiped down'' with those very handy Lysol wipes; swipe, swipe, done.

Now, have I unpacked every box from our move in November? Are you serious?

Are all the leaves raked and the yard tidy for the coming spring? Please, I have allergies.

Have I put away everything remotely Christmassy? Get real! Maybe in February.

OMG, after reading all these posts, I have begun to feel SOOO much better! Holly, I am in complete DENIAL and can ignore each little think I might have to step around rather than putting it in the right place...lol! And I find I spend way too much time here on PS...I do remember a time when I actually used to get things done, but that was long before I found all of you lovely ladies!

My girlfriend who was supposed to be coming to visit on the 25th has just informed me just moments ago that she is coming THIS Friday!!! When I saw this thread I thought I''d hit the jackpot on how to get this mess back in order, as I have done nothing towards cleaning/decluttering/organizing anything pretty much since November 25th, and now I have less than 3 days to do it? Yikes...I may need medication...no, maybe wine? Maybe BOTH?!!?

Luckily, she is a good enough friend that she understands and doesn''t care...she still loves me, cluttered or not, thank goodness!

 

[door knob solitaire]

MC fire that lazy good for nothing tart! You have had trouble with her for too long!

Lets get things in perspective...this site needs you far more that those weeds, sticks, twigs and leaves...also those dust bunnies under your bed are multiplying fine without you. Before long you will have a reason to buy new dishes...and talk about the necessity to buy new clothes. Why they are all dirty! You can''t wear those!

Your Perspective...I think is right on target. You don''t need her! Stay...our kind is stronger in numbers. Is that bum gone yet? §

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/15/2008 4:20:45 PM
Author: MC
oooh, yeah!!! Thanks. I recall hearing about that website years back but entirely forgot. Exactly what I need.

Glad to help MC! I know flylady always helps to whip me in shape when I need it, so I hope you find it useful.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Deco - how long is your DH''s commute going to be? My husband is looking at a three hour a day one! I feel bad for him and notice him prepping by being a bit less productive in the meantime and I''m racing around in the morning w/the kids while he reads the paper! lol

Having kids around is hard because the laundry piles up fast and they''re only beginning to learn to clean up after themselves. For a few months during the summer, I did a self-reward system, similiar to coping with the "rebellious" attitude you''re talking of and ordered pampering kits (from Sephora) every week and had them shipped to a PO box I got for mysefl (to hide packages)!

I think my DH caught on quickly because I have close to 50 blushes now and 100 eyeshadows and he opened my makeup drawer one day looking for something and nearly had a heart attack. AHHHH! Gave up that habit quickly.

Harleigh - hope you have a great visit with your friend!

Okay, gals off to get work done. Doubt the "real shoes" will be of good help, however, as the purpose of the new carpet is to have a cleaner house and it''s amazing what fresh new carpet can do to improve so!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/16/2008 11:26:45 AM
Author: MC
Deco - how long is your DH''s commute going to be? My husband is looking at a three hour a day one! I feel bad for him and notice him prepping by being a bit less productive in the meantime and I''m racing around in the morning w/the kids while he reads the paper! lol

Having kids around is hard because the laundry piles up fast and they''re only beginning to learn to clean up after themselves. For a few months during the summer, I did a self-reward system, similiar to coping with the ''rebellious'' attitude you''re talking of and ordered pampering kits (from Sephora) every week and had them shipped to a PO box I got for mysefl (to hide packages)!

I think my DH caught on quickly because I have close to 50 blushes now and 100 eyeshadows and he opened my makeup drawer one day looking for something and nearly had a heart attack. AHHHH! Gave up that habit quickly.

Harleigh - hope you have a great visit with your friend!

Okay, gals off to get work done. Doubt the ''real shoes'' will be of good help, however, as the purpose of the new carpet is to have a cleaner house and it''s amazing what fresh new carpet can do to improve so!

LOL, I didn''t find the real shoes much help either, but the rest of it was! Good luck MC!

 

[Harleigh]

Date: 1/16/2008 11:26:45 AM
Author: MC
Deco - how long is your DH''s commute going to be? My husband is looking at a three hour a day one! I feel bad for him and notice him prepping by being a bit less productive in the meantime and I''m racing around in the morning w/the kids while he reads the paper! lol

Having kids around is hard because the laundry piles up fast and they''re only beginning to learn to clean up after themselves. For a few months during the summer, I did a self-reward system, similiar to coping with the ''rebellious'' attitude you''re talking of and ordered pampering kits (from Sephora) every week and had them shipped to a PO box I got for mysefl (to hide packages)!

I think my DH caught on quickly because I have close to 50 blushes now and 100 eyeshadows and he opened my makeup drawer one day looking for something and nearly had a heart attack. AHHHH! Gave up that habit quickly.

Harleigh - hope you have a great visit with your friend!

Okay, gals off to get work done. Doubt the ''real shoes'' will be of good help, however, as the purpose of the new carpet is to have a cleaner house and it''s amazing what fresh new carpet can do to improve so!

Thanks, MC! I actually managed to get ALL of the wedding stuff cleaned up and organized in the guest room my friend stays in, so I went to bed feeling MUCH better about things and she will actually have a bed to rest her weary head on!

We''re going to go wedding dress shopping on Saturday (I will have my Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor and 1 of my 2 BM''s together for the very first time!), and then I am taking them all to a New York Pizza lunch and out to see the new movie "27 Dresses." They all think it should be my theme movie as I''ve been in 11 weddings so far.

I thought it might be fun to have a "girls" day, which we will then finish off by going out country dancing that evening, which will essentially keep us out of my messy house almost the ENTIRE day! Woo hoo!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/16/2008 11:26:45 AM
Author: MC
Deco - how long is your DH''s commute going to be?

We think its FOUR hours!

... and *worse*: its Amtrak & they''re due to strike two days after he starts so ??? I dun wanna tink about how long the alternate commute path will be.

One thing he likes versus his *current* 1 1/2 hr driving commute is that he''ll have online connectivity the whole way, so he can work/play from the train. Also, he''ll be doing 1 or 2 days a week at home eventually. So *no* commute those days.

But you can see why I''m gonna have to do "his" chores too!

 

[fleur-de-lis]

LOL, MC, I *love* the title of your post!

I''m glad someone else mentioned flylady already; I had found myself in a similar position once, had a friend recommend the site, and it helped a few elements fall into place. These days, we''re in a pretty good clean groove at home, though I must admit that we''ve made some other life choices that make it easy. (Though my fiance dreams about mowing the lawn, it''s that sort of idealized lust that diminishes after about three weeks of actually having to do it, heh heh. He hates doing regular repair/maintenance on easy issues, why would his personality change because it''s outdoors?)

As for scheduling cleaning, there were two points made on the flylady website that really helped me more than any other:

1. Cleaning your kitchen sink each night. It''s amazing how just that one thing allows others to fall neatly in place! By having just that one regular bit of order and success, it opens doors to other similar things to be added on quite easily. It forces all dishes to be done/put in the dishwasher, so you at least break the habit of letting gross things build up. The shiny white sink is *such* a nice thing to see first thing in the morning, and after a while you realize it takes about 30 seconds to do. Once that happens, you naturally develop the habit of expanding it to cleaned off counters in the kitchen, and rather effortlessly in under a week you become one of those people with an immaculate kitchen. For someone like me who had lived for years with roommates who left the kitchen a mess and just grown used to it, it was kind of a Homer Simpsonesque "D''oh!" moment when I realized how easy it could be, and that a clean kitchen wasn''t only possible in the 2 hours immediately following the maid''s visit.

2. The 15 minute push. This was HUGE for me! When the house feels overwhelmingly messy/dirty/disorganized the next time, set your timer for 15 minutes and dedicate yourself to just doing as much as you can to rapidly put away as much as possible. Unlike so much advice which says these things are marathons and not sprints, this is the exact opposite-- it IS a sprint, work in a frenzy, and as soon as those 15 minutes are over, you can plop down on the sofa to watch TV or go online or whatever indulgent thing you want to do! I''ve been surprised by how well the 15 minute thing works. I''ve looked and assumed that cleaning the guest room would be an all-day event, or that putting the Christmas ornaments away would take all weekend, or attacking that stack of mail would take hours. I set the 15 minute timer, and... it''s 80% done!

Anyhow, I totally second www.flylady.com. That kitchen sink thing has a trickle down effect, and after a few of those 15 minute sessions, it''s amazing how easy it is to do the other parts. We still have a maid come in to do the scrubbing of gross stuff that I don''t want to do, but that''s a personal preference thing. The nice thing is that there definitely exists a "tipping point" where cleanliness is naturally maintained (and conversely, the other side of the tipping point is that you''re always struggling with mess), and once you get to that "tipping point" it becomes pretty easy. [For instance, vacuuming is a PITA if you''re either circling around 8 piles of stuff (so it FEELS like you''re doing a half-@ssed job), or if you feel like you should take an hour to clean up the 8 piles before vacuuming, so you just put it off for another day.]

Hope this helps!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 1/15/2008 4:15:12 PM
Author:MC
All she does is play around on Pricescope all day!!!

Does anyone have a regular weekly or monthly cleaning schedual that you follow to keep you on track, or do you just wing it?

I used to just wing it when I lived with roommates. We''d clean up our things throughout the week and it was no big deal. Now that my FI and are living together, winging it hasn''t worked. I made up a very colorful cleaning schedule and we try to stick to it. I''m better at it than my FI but I have my random piles of things that I need to go through.

I always forget about flylady. I should check it out more often.

 

[lyra]

Okay, so I kept my promise to myself and went through the paperwork for shredding. I found a check for $115 (whee!), a new credit card my DH has been missing since April

, realized my CAA (same as AAA) has lapsed

, and another good one, realized I have finally paid off my own Visa card (my only real credit source in my name). Wow. I thought I was further away on that one. Yeah, I know I should have a better handle on this stuff, but I do everything online.

I was so pleased that I cleared this, I started doing more organizing, made more room and found my notebook which has all my To Do important stuff in it. Great day! Passing on the motivation to someone else now...

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/16/2008 8:02:28 PM
Author: lyra
Passing on the motivation to someone else now...

Good work, Lyra!

Inspired by Holly's tip I went out and got a three pack of disinfectant wipes which are now in our bathrooms & kitchen. Also replaced our broken can opener & wood floor mop & got some Armorall wipes for the car ... gonna p*mp my ride tomorrow

And make pumpkin bread since I can finally open that darn can!

Off topic but what's a good (effective but non greasy) hand cream? I have to search old threads. All this cleaning is aging my paws fast!

 

[Harleigh]

I like the Bath and Body Works creams with shea butter in them, as well as one from Avon that I *think* is called "Liquid Gloves" or something like that...it locks the moisture in and doesn''t wash off easily. Vaseline also makes a body lotion called "Renew and Protect" that is water-resistant and works well. HTH!

 

[butterfly 17]

Cute title!! I was thinking if the maid and gardener is lazy, I would fire them, not realizing it was YOU!! Ha, ha.

It's so hard sometimes to keep everything clean and organized. Sometimes everything is cleaned, but just unorganized, and vice versa.

It really doesn't help that I work nights and we don't use a sitter, so when I come home, I sleep for about 3 hours until my hubby goes to work and then I am up again. My husband doesn't understand at all. He thinks that because I am "home all day", even though I work a full time NIGHT job, it means that I have all the time in the world to clean and tidy up.

I do cleaning in rotations. Once a week the house gets dusted out. That's my hubby's job. My job is to clean the other stuff. I worked on Tuesday night, came home on Wednesday morning and slept a little, then woke up and cleaned the toilets. All the toilets, except the basement one. Then I did some laundry, two loads. After that I swept upstairs and mopped the floors all the way down to the entrance and then I cleaned up the kitchen counters. I swept and mopped the kitchen floors and then me and Kayla went around with windex and sprayed all the finger prints off the doors and mirrors around the house.

I didn't do the dishes though. I figured, I didn't leave a bunch of dishes last night when I went to work, so why do I have to now clean up the mess today.

I think that's what bugs me the most though. I always try to keep the house clean before I leave for work and when I come back the next morning, it's like I didn't do a thing.

A few times we've had arguments were I was like, that's it, I am no longer cleaning the house. If you can't appreciate what I do, what's the point of me doing it. But after a while, it starts to bug me and then I start cleaning again.

I let everything go once and finally my husband noticed that the toilets do get a ring around them if they are not cleaned regularly and he commented that he never saw them so dirty before. So of course I said, well, what do you think, they just clean themselves. Who do you think has been cleaning them all this time? The boogie man.

He thought they just never got dirty!!! And what bugs me most about the whole toilet thing is that he is the only man living here, so who's piss is it that's always around the toilet, obviously not mine!! Arggh!!!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

Date: 1/17/2008 9:10:44 AM
Author: butterfly 17
Cute title!! I was thinking if the maid and gardener is lazy, I would fire them, not realizing it was YOU!! Ha, ha.

It''s so hard sometimes to keep everything clean and organized. Sometimes everything is cleaned, but just unorganized, and vice versa.

It really doesn''t help that I work nights and we don''t use a sitter, so when I come home, I sleep for about 3 hours until my hubby goes to work and then I am up again. My husband doesn''t understand at all. He thinks that because I am ''home all day'', even though I work a full time NIGHT job, it means that I have all the time in the world to clean and tidy up.

I do cleaning in rotations. Once a week the house gets dusted out. That''s my hubby''s job. My job is to clean the other stuff. I worked on Tuesday night, came home on Wednesday morning and slept a little, then woke up and cleaned the toilets. All the toilets, except the basement one. Then I did some laundry, two loads. After that I swept upstairs and mopped the floors all the way down to the entrance and then I cleaned up the kitchen counters. I swept and mopped the kitchen floors and then me and Kayla went around with windex and sprayed all the finger prints off the doors and mirrors around the house.

I didn''t do the dishes though. I figured, I didn''t leave a bunch of dishes last night when I went to work, so why do I have to now clean up the mess today.

I think that''s what bugs me the most though. I always try to keep the house clean before I leave for work and when I come back the next morning, it''s like I didn''t do a thing.

A few times we''ve had arguments were I was like, that''s it, I am no longer cleaning the house. If you can''t appreciate what I do, what''s the point of me doing it. But after a while, it starts to bug me and then I start cleaning again.

I let everything go once and finally my husband noticed that the toilets do get a ring around them if they are not cleaned regularly and he commented that he never saw them so dirty before. So of course I said, well, what do you think, they just clean themselves. Who do you think has been cleaning them all this time? The boogie man.

He thought they just never got dirty!!! And what bugs me most about the whole toilet thing is that he is the only man living here, so who''s piss is it that''s always around the toilet, obviously not mine!! Arggh!!!

Are we with the same man?

Sounds like Frank...although he does clean and get some of his stuff done. He is actually the one that cleans more, he does not like clutter and he does not like randoms everywhere....but I get the toilet and the dirty jobs...imagine that!!

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

I confess, I couldn''t handle it. Full time job+ part time degree = not a lot of time for housework. Add bone idle and not very good at cleaning into the mix and you quickly have a health hazard of a house.

DH decided to take it on and be responsible for it. He did try and it was a little better (than when we were pretending to share the load) but still not much above the dysentry line.

So now I have someone who comes in for a few hours a week and cleans like fury. She really cleans. Plus, it means we have to tidy up so that she can actually get to the surfaces to clean them. House is now clean and tidy (most of the time). It works really well and I just have to live with the expense because the option is just too grim to contemplate!

Jen

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 1/16/2008 4:39:41 PM
Author: fleur-de-lis

As for scheduling cleaning, there were two points made on the flylady website that really helped me more than any other:

1. Cleaning your kitchen sink each night.

Cleaning the kitchen sink is a great idea. I read somewhere that the sink has the most bacteria of any item in your house, which I''m hazarding to guess means the toilet has less!

Yuck, huh? My sink didn''t get cleaned last night and I still haven''t signed up for Flylady, but have only spent about 15 min on PS in the last few days so things are improving sort of!

Butterfly - how many hours of sleep to you average total in a day? You must be exhausted!

Mrs. Mitchell - it would be impossible to work FT, go to school and get anything done, so it would make sense to hire a person in your shoes! Since I''m not working, I''d be hiring someone to organize legos for me and pick up books and socks scattered around the house. It''s the monotany that results in lack of motivation. How many times can a person pick up toys scattered each day before they lose their mind?

 

[Beacon]

I try and focus on a few key things that will make me feel like the place is under control, while recognizing that I cannot do everythign and that perfection is not an option:

1. Bed is made each morning. I hate coming home to a messy bed!
2. Sink is emptied each night.
3. Paper shred pile is shredded every second day
4. Trash goes out as needed (meaning quite often)
5. Place is dusted weekly

Those are my key elements and everything else is gravy. Probably everyone has their own key list that will contribute most to a sense of well being. It is not easy having to keep up the place when both are working. I got very busy with work over the Holidays and the place looked very trashed.

Oh yes, another thing, I try and keep my downstairs as neat as I can, but the upstairs is often unpresentable. At least I have some "clean" space to see. It is very hard to keep up both levels.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I thought about this thread as I shovelled only three strips of our driveway---NAH to the rest.....it''s such a big driveway....

.....I''m going to meet my GF for coffee instead....LOL

cheers--Sharon

 

[HollyS]

Beacon, I''m with you. The bed is made, every morning, period. I cannot stand an unmade bed!! It has to be made, and then turned down neatly, or I cannot get in if it was left unmade all day. This is a big ICK for me. And nothing sitting on the bed either -- no clothes, purses, mail, etc.

 

[butterfly 17]

Date: 1/17/2008 9:29:41 PM
Author: MC

Butterfly - how many hours of sleep to you average total in a day? You must be exhausted!

Good question. I work three nights a week and I do every other day, like M-W-Sat, then the new week starts-Su-Tu-Thu or Fri, then M-W-Sat again. I have to do every other weekend.

The day I have work I am usually up by 7 to get my daughter ready for school and then I am up all day with the 2 yr. old, so I go straight to work without napping and then get home the next morning around 8:30, sleep for 2 to 3 hours and get up again so my husband can go to work at 12 and then basically stay up the rest of the day until he comes home around 11.

In the meantime, of course I have to clean the house, cook for the kids, pick up my daughter from school, do homework, feed them dinner, etc.

That''s why I do it in rotations. Like when I do the weekends I won''t do anything at all. I will work Saturday, come home Sunday morning and go right to bed after having coffee with my husband. He is off, so he deals with the house and kids. When I come home Monday morning, he is off as well, so I go straight to sleep again and don''t get up until 3 or 4 depending on how noisy they all are.

I can''t wait for both kids to be in school. Then I can really sleep when I come home until 2pm or something. That would be great.

We talked about getting a sitter, but we really don''t want someone else watching our kids. We also talked about me working part time, but I am a greedy wh*re

and I can''t imagine not being able to buy things whenever I feel like and I kind of like getting away from the craziness of my house.

Our other option is to have his brother live in the house with us since we do have an apartment in the basement and he''s home during the day (he works in the evenings), but I like my privacy. And I hate cleaning other people''s mess

.

I figure I am lucky that I only work three times a week were as other people work 5 and leave early in the morning and come home late in the evening and never see their kids except to check if they did their homeworl and put them to bed.

In fact, I see my kids all the time and they drive me batty!!

Actually I am kind of jealous of my BFF. She works parttime with me ( 2 nights a week), usually F and Sat. and she has two kids as well, one in school and one with her at home and she convinced her husband to get a housekeeper to come once a week to help out.

I thought about that as well. Hire a house cleaner once a week, but I would probably clean right before she came from sheer embarassment and then clean the spots she missed once she left. LOL.

Anyway, sorry for the long explanation, but I feel better now.