Loved ones in care facility, home or hospital? Try this...

[door knob solitaire]

When my mother told me of this idea, I was first angry about the cheap manipulation...but have since come to realize it just may be brilliant

! (I can tell you she is brillant...but we will keep this between us...)

She says she tells all the family''s she assists to bring a large glass canister, to the room and fill it to overfilling with candy. And Keep it filled.

OK MOM WHY? Well, you inform all the staff that anytime they want a treat or a snack or a pick me up...to just pop right into the room and help themselves!

This brings the staff members into the room more frequently. Should the patient be elderly and suffer a fall...the candy will ensure they won''t be down long. Any need will be taken care of sooner this way, than waiting for the rounds. The staff seems to respond with greater kindness and interest to your loved one. You may not be able to remain there all day, but your candy will make sure they arent alone long!

Do you have any ideas that may be helpful to others in this situation?

DKS

 

[monarch64]

dks, I think this is a great idea. Dh''s grandma is 96 this year and in a nursing home...we look in on her from time to time but her son (my FIL) does most of the care taking. I will definitely mention this idea to him.

Grandma has assured us she''s been the victim of many thefts...she asked for a zip top purse and I got her one of those cosmetic bags with a zip-top and two fabric handles that''s easy to open for a purse, she carries it with her to this day and keeps all her essentials in it (perfume, deodorant, ,etc.) and stuffs it in her wheelchair and sleeps with it. She''s also asked us for a shotgun...yeah.

Lots of problems with theft, though. And at least one instance of negligence...we have pics of her VERY bruised arm from someone grabbing her too hard. Who knows when it happened or under what circumstances really, but she still seems to be quite lucid and we have no reason not to believe her accusations against her current caretakers. Sad.

 

[oshinbreez]

This does work....atleast getting staff into the room. When I was working in a nursing home, one the the patients had candy in his room. He couldn''t speak or move, he was totally dependent on the staff. Staff would go in and get candy, but not attend to the patient. I had him on my rounds several times, but wouldn''t go in his room to get candy. It didn''t help him any.

 

[Miranda]

DKS - That is a great idea. I''m going to get a canister for my grandma. She had polio as a child and suffered a handicap as a result. Her ''good'' leg is pretty much shot so we are always worried something will happen to her.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

My dad is in a nursing home with Alzheimers, and while I think this is a truly great idea, it won''t work for him. He has a very strong sweet tooth, and if there is candy within reach, he''ll eat it all himself!

 

[KimberlyH]

My DH''s mom who had late stage Alzheimer''s spent just under a year in a board and care facility before she passed away. We were lucky enough to have found a facility whose employees treated those in their care like family. But what made a small difference for us was that we made our presence known in her life (we visited daily, which isn''t always possible, I am aware) and became friendly with the staff.

She''s been gone for 4 months and we still go visit the people who cared for her and bring treats for both residents and staff (homemade brownies, etc. -- but we never left them in her room so she would be checked on) because we are so thankful for the amazing care she recieved (much better than we could have provided towards the end of her life).

 

[Miranda]

Date: 5/28/2007 5:37:52 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
My dad is in a nursing home with Alzheimers, and while I think this is a truly great idea, it won''t work for him. He has a very strong sweet tooth, and if there is candy within reach, he''ll eat it all himself!

I have a similar problem with my grandma. Only, she''s not the one to eat it. Every Christmas I make her peanut brittle. She feeds it to her ''friend'' (we think he''s a boyfriend, but, NOBODY wants to really know). The problem with that is that he''s a DIABETIC!

 

[FireGoddess]

Great tip. Kinda messed up if that''s what it takes to get the proper attention, but a great tip since it works!!! I will definitely file this info away.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Firegoddess,

I agree...something is definately out of whack to entice adults to action with candy.

My uncle was in an assisted care for an injury...he "duked" the staff. (That is a term Frank Sinatra used to use..Frank had a handler that stood behind him, whose only job was to dole out cash to everyone that helped him...door men...hostesses...bar keeper...desk clerk...etc. DUKE HIM! DUKE HER!!) Anyway my Uncle requested a weekly supply of fives and tens. Usually did the deed on Fridays. But I will tell you that man never lacked a thing. I asked if anyone refused it...His reply was only one...she said, "no sir, my payment is my career choice...pleasure in assisting others." She was included in his will.

If cash is too scary for some people...gift certificates could also be used. Coffee shops, gas cards, pizza restaurant deliverys...there are other options other than candy and cash.

There is a real shortage of moral compasses in todays world. If a peppermint stick or lemon drop may snap people back to doing what is right...then I say do it!

DKS

 

[Kaleigh]

My Nanny had this down to a science. I made sure she had enough candy for herself and for the aides and nurses. She felt better about asking someone to do something after she gave them a little treat. I was always her back up though, so if something didn''t get done she''d just call me. I went there on a daily basis and became friendly with everyone, so they knew I had her back.

 

[diamondfan]

I think it would surely draw people into the room, but I am saddened by the rampant theft and mistreatment some of the elderly patients face in places like these. Just disgusting to me. Too bad each room cannot be outfitted with surveillance cameras that would send data to a family member''s home and be downloaded on a disk for later viewing. I think the sad truth is that the you are lucky if you can find a good placement for a family member in one of these places. I am sure there a good ones, but the stories I hear do not encourage me. And I think, like Lisa, when you can pop in a lot since you live nearby, and can be a presence and a known entity to the staff, your loved one will fare better. Simply because you are seen there a lot and they do not know when you might pop in.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/29/2007 11:41:28 PM
Author: diamondfan
I think it would surely draw people into the room, but I am saddened by the rampant theft and mistreatment some of the elderly patients face in places like these. Just disgusting to me. Too bad each room cannot be outfitted with surveillance cameras that would send data to a family member''s home and be downloaded on a disk for later viewing. I think the sad truth is that the you are lucky if you can find a good placement for a family member in one of these places. I am sure there a good ones, but the stories I hear do not encourage me. And I think, like Lisa, when you can pop in a lot since you live nearby, and can be a presence and a known entity to the staff, your loved one will fare better. Simply because you are seen there a lot and they do not know when you might pop in.

Amen to that!! If there was a surveillance camera in Nanny''s room, I''d have MISS STICKY FINGERS on tape when she stole Nanny''s ring. I learned a lot through the years. If I had it to do all over again, I would have installed my own hidden camera.

 

[fire&ice]

Being involved on a daily basis really does help. Being kind to the staff also helps. The candy is a great idea to supplement this. Also, we hired a "sitter". She made sure things got done when we weren''t there. The staff and your sitter can push and pull one another - but, ultimately, you get better care. Another friend hired a "Geriatric" doctor. She specializes in just Geriatric care - more as a life (be it end of life) strategy. She meets with the prim care taker & the staff w/ her recommendations. She is VERY well thought of & they take her recommendations to heart. We were going to hire her prior to my MIL going into the hospital and never came out. I was surprised how inexpensive the consult was & how detailed a job was done. She/he can also help with medicare issues. Consider having a therapy dog when you make your visits. The resident gets to be popular with the other residents. Staff appreciates this because you look after others & boost moral.

Gosh, it''s tough as many of my friends are having to deal with this now. No solution seems perfect. Some sell their house and move to a smaller one nearby & have full time CNA''s. Surprisingly, this can be less expensive than moving to a very good skilled nursing facility.

Great topic!