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Love at first site, is it too early to propose?

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Roseylovesturfy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2002
Messages
1
ok here is the deal. I am waiting my for my divorce to be final in 5 months! The guy I am with now and I met online, realized we were only about 30 minutes away, the next day we hooked up at McD's with my kids and dang it has been great ever since! We both came out of marriages we were forced into,his divorce is final, I had been with my ex since I was 15 and he got his wife pregnant about 11 day. Anyway we have known eachother about a month. My family is all ok with this and his family is also cool with this We are total soal mates. We have so much in common it is just ment to be. His sister and her now husband met just about the same way as Dennis and I and knew eachother a short time. Now my question. I want to propose to him! He is an avid fisherman, golfer, hunter! Now WHEN? If we both know we will be together and both know it is right is it ok that I propose even if my divorce is not final? Is it cheesy for a girl to ask a guy? I need some help here everyone!:halo:
 

Rook

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
294
Ok this is just my oppinion so take it at that.

I don't think it would be a good idea to get married after a month, especially when children are involved, unless there is some reason you have to (he is going of to war.) I think it is impossible to know someone well enough, even in 6 months time to know for sure that you should get married. Do you even really know this person? Do you know his bad habits, his background, his history? Has he even been involved in a serious felony? Does he have a temper?

There are a lot of thing about a person that take time to learn. Also you are still in that "new love" period where everything is great. You are still seeing him trough rose colored glasses. Wait until that wears off and see if you two still feel the same. When you first start to live with someone you will generally go through a fighting period, just because. You both have different daily rituals that may conflict. Even things like how to make spagetti, how to make the bed and so forth can cause tention. You need to be sure you will make it through that bad period that most new couples experiance.

Also, what if it doesn't work out. You and your children are already going through a tremadic period right now and will not need more unstability.

Why are you in such a hurry anyways? If you both truely love each other there should be no reason that you even need to be married. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and living together for 2. I am planning on proposing soon, but there is no hurry. Life is not going to dramatically change and be more wonderful just because the state now recognizes that we are in love. We are not going to be more generous to each other because we have rings on.

Lastly, do you have any idea how he feels about this??? He may not be ready for that yet. A lot of guys take a while to get remarried after they have been divorsed before.

Just my thoughts
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
This is just my opinion as well...but I definitely think it is too soon to think about getting re-married. My boyfriend's sister has a divorce under her belt from getting married too young and to the wrong guy. They also got married after 5 months of knowing each other, big mistake all the way around. Now she is moving to Texas to be with her new man, they've been going out for all of 2-3 months. It's just 'meant to be', she says. If it's meant to be, it will still be meant to be in 6 months or even a year.

Don't rush..you just got out of a marriage, enjoy being independent and on your own for a while. You two can still date, and still grow closer, but take some time for yourself, and to develop yourself and your relationship with your children more. I am sure your relationship with your children is great, but it can always be more close! Especially now with a divorce, your children might need even more care and love than ever. Don't divide your attentions between them and a new love at this point yet. See how your families work together, take some time to do it slowly.

I also realize that no amount of time makes anything foolproof, nor does being with someone for 3-5 years before marriage make anything guaranteeable, but at least you know more about that person and their history, and your relationship with them has some building blocks already set. If in 6-9 months things are still as great as ever, and the families work well together, then go for it! But this soon..I would say to wait..and take things a little slowly. Better safe than sorry! :naughty:
 

GiGi

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 8, 2002
Messages
87
No one can really make a decision for you, but please keep your head cool when in love. It is hard, but not impossible....
 

lawmax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
1,317
Spend at least 12-15 months getting to know him before you take this step. Wait until that infatuation phase is over before you make a commitment, especially with kids involved.
 
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