Aloros
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- May 2, 2006
- Messages
- 947
My cat Amazu was diagnosed with FIP mid-April. It''s a rare disease and is always fatal. I''ve been taking him to one of the best-known vet hospitals in the world and have been doing my best to make him comfortable. The vet has said he''s amazed by well he''s done.
But you know, it''s not enough.
He''s been declining steadily this past week and it''s been so rough on me to watch him like this. He''s a savannah, and a very very special cat. I saved and researched for five years, and I finally ran across a breeder who was selling all her cats. When I called her to put down a deposit, he was the last one in the litter left. I really miss having him running around, stealing my socks, getting into the cupboards - eating my food and ripping open the flour, and tipping over the garbage can and spreading its contents around. It feels sort of stupid to miss these things, but to me they meant he was happy and healthy.
He''s only two years old and it seems so unfair that I haven''t been able to have more time with him.
I have a lot going on in my life right now - boyfriend moving in with me, house-searching, work, writing, painting - so I''m able to distract myself for a lot of the time. But I can''t stop crying on the way to the vet, while I''m waiting for them to finish running tests on him, and all the way back from the vet. Today I cried while I was at the vet''s. He started talking about at some point "humanely putting him down" and I just lost it. I can''t imagine coming home and not having him around.
My boyfriend''s been an absolute doll about this - he says my cat is the only cat he really likes. He''s always been there to listen, but he''s in a training class all day and I have no one else to talk to who understands.
He''s one of the few things in my life I really wanted and now I''m losing him. He''s one of a kind and has just charmed everyone who''s ever met him. I know I''ll have to let him go, but it makes me unbearably sad to think about it.
And I know my other cat will be so lonely when Amazu goes, but I honestly don''t know if I could ever bring myself to get another cat.
Just needed to vent.
But you know, it''s not enough.
He''s been declining steadily this past week and it''s been so rough on me to watch him like this. He''s a savannah, and a very very special cat. I saved and researched for five years, and I finally ran across a breeder who was selling all her cats. When I called her to put down a deposit, he was the last one in the litter left. I really miss having him running around, stealing my socks, getting into the cupboards - eating my food and ripping open the flour, and tipping over the garbage can and spreading its contents around. It feels sort of stupid to miss these things, but to me they meant he was happy and healthy.
He''s only two years old and it seems so unfair that I haven''t been able to have more time with him.
I have a lot going on in my life right now - boyfriend moving in with me, house-searching, work, writing, painting - so I''m able to distract myself for a lot of the time. But I can''t stop crying on the way to the vet, while I''m waiting for them to finish running tests on him, and all the way back from the vet. Today I cried while I was at the vet''s. He started talking about at some point "humanely putting him down" and I just lost it. I can''t imagine coming home and not having him around.
My boyfriend''s been an absolute doll about this - he says my cat is the only cat he really likes. He''s always been there to listen, but he''s in a training class all day and I have no one else to talk to who understands.
He''s one of the few things in my life I really wanted and now I''m losing him. He''s one of a kind and has just charmed everyone who''s ever met him. I know I''ll have to let him go, but it makes me unbearably sad to think about it.
And I know my other cat will be so lonely when Amazu goes, but I honestly don''t know if I could ever bring myself to get another cat.
Just needed to vent.
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