Lonely PS Lady in Waiting

[madelise]

The subforum for ladies in waiting is dead! I need people to commiserate with!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Well I'm definitely NOT joining you in waiting ( ), but I will send you hugs and hope for a short wait for you!

 

[telephone89]

I sometimes post Considering I waited 10 years, I know how ya'll feel

 

[momhappy]

Aww... I'm sorry, madelise....Hugs to you

 

[azstonie]

Bring it, madelise, we will try to make ya feel better!!!!! Hugs to you!!!!

 

[Jambalaya]

Sorry, Madelise! Must be frustrating. How long have you been together? Is a proposal forthcoming, do you think?

Make sure he's worth waiting for!

 

[tyty333]

I'm sorry...I use to pop over there every now and then but just stopped because it was getting slow. Maybe you can start a thread
in the Hangout forum that you guys can keep going (like our "I just want to say" thread).

edit - Dont feel lonely...come hang out with us!

Give us your details...how long dating, does he have a ring, do you have a dream ring??? Whats going on?

 

[madelise]

((Hugs))

It shouldn't be frustrating. I think I'm just antsy. I would've married him when I met him, if he gave me the opportunity to.


R is one of the most amazing men on earth. We met April 2 on a dating app. This is particularly important because it was just two days after my birthday. The year prior, on my birthday, my ex-fiancé broke up with me while having a temper tantrum/"anxiety attack" after years of psychological controlling me with his anger and control problems. Yes, on my birthday. So on my birthday, last year, I went out with a guy in the morning who insisted on spending my birthday with me. He then told me I'm not wife material and made a jab to me about me being single. That night, I went out with girlfriends and cried. I was so scared to never be happy again, but I promised myself to keep trying to find someone.

3 days later, I "met" R. We met on Coffee Meets Bagel, where the app sends you exactly one option a day at noon to either click yes or no to. I saw a picture of him laughing while jumping in one of those inflatable jump houses. It made me smile. Our conversations on the app were lackluster, but I promised myself I'd try. We went on our first date a week later. I drove about 2 hours in LA traffic due to the rain. I'm still surprised that I showed up at all. I think the only reason I kept driving was because I didn't want to "waste putting on makeup."

When I saw him, I felt something inside me I never felt since grade school. I felt that butterflies spark feeling, super strong. His smile killed me. I knew just minutes in on our date, when he took my dry sarcastic and mean jokes lightly and laughed with me, that I would marry him. I never was any romantic, so that's weird for me to feel or say. But I knew. Is that weird?

We lived together since September, after I graduated with my MA. And I can't believe how much I always just want to be near him. I can get annoyed or bored of hanging out or talking to the same person, but not with him. He's super understanding, and the perfect mix of assertive ******* but soft romantic sweetheart that I need in my life. He is a pretty good cook now, after initially almost burning his house down cooking me steak for one of our first dates. He always cooks for me, cares for me.

And most importantly, I love his family. In my prior relationship, my ex-would-be-in-laws is were extremely religious Muslims that my ex is was afraid of "coming out" to about his atheism. We were together for 5 years, but they wouldn't respect me unless I converted AND submitted to them. They treated me very poorly, and the mother even broke my engagement ring right after I just had it remade.

R's family is so different. They're not religious, they have great senses of humor, and they're all very quirky. I feel like I fit right in. I can give R shit in front of his parents, and they give him shit right along with me. He has a GIANT family, and most of them are just perfect. It's everything I've ever hoped for, as I have a very tiny family. And, they're Persian. So boobs and bling are like a requirement. I love boobs and I love bling.

Everything is just a perfect fit.


I get all giddy thinking about him and our relationship.

 

[madelise]

I'm sorry...I use to pop over there every now and then but just stopped because it was getting slow. Maybe you can start a thread
in the Hangout forum that you guys can keep going (like our "I just want to say" thread).

edit - Dont feel lonely...come hang out with us!

Give us your details...how long dating, does he have a ring, do you have a dream ring??? Whats going on?

No ring I don't think. He asked me if I want to be part of the process (but he heavily did not want that), or to butt out and allow myself to be surprised. He's met most of the LA local PS ladies so I know he can always text or call them to know if what he's interested in is worth the price. I'm more concerned about him getting ripped off. I don't really have a dream ring. I kind of want everything :/ haha! Oops. I do dream of a Sebastian Berrier piece. Or Erika Winters has been coming out with really amazing things too. I don't even know what his budget is, so I'm completely clued out.

 

[madelise]

Well I'm definitely NOT joining you in waiting ( ), but I will send you hugs and hope for a short wait for you!

Haha, wait CB is forever a CB? No CDH?

 

[madelise]

I sometimes post Considering I waited 10 years, I know how ya'll feel

Past tense? Wow 10 years. We're y'all together when young? I have a few sets of friends that were together since 13. We're all in our late 20s now.

 

[madelise]

Sorry, Madelise! Must be frustrating. How long have you been together? Is a proposal forthcoming, do you think?

Make sure he's worth waiting for!

SO worth it.! I've waited my whole life to be happy like this!

Aww... I'm sorry, madelise....Hugs to you

<<hugs>>!

Bring it, madelise, we will try to make ya feel better!!!!! Hugs to you!!!!

<<hugs>>

I know I'm ok. I think I just waited SO long the last time that this waiting feeling feels like it's extra long even though we've only been together 8 months. I just hate the feeling. It brings me anxiety and antsiness. Like I really gotta pee but I don't know where the next restroom stop is on the freeway.

Thought about joining the other "waiting" ladies on WeddingBee but.. They're kind of intimidating.

 

[LLJsmom]

Madelise, so are you at this point just waiting for the actual proposal? It's a given that it's gonna happen right?

 

[Gypsy]

Most Persians here are very secular. My own family is.

Good vibes for you both.

If I can give you some advice?

Enjoy the journey and forget about the destination. When it is right for both of you it will happen.

I made my DH wait 9 years to get me to the altar though he proposed years before. If he hadn't been patient with me he wouldn't have been the right person for me. He was smart enough to know that my being with him was enough and he enjoyed it for what it was.

You just be happy and take each day with him for the gift it is. The rest will come. You've been together for less than a year. Just BE for a while and stop looking forward so.much you miss the joy of the present.

You are creating anxiety and confkict where there is none. Stop it.

 

[Mayk]

I hear ya!

 

[missy]

((Hugs))

It shouldn't be frustrating. I think I'm just antsy. I would've married him when I met him, if he gave me the opportunity to.


R is one of the most amazing men on earth. We met April 2 on a dating app. This is particularly important because it was just two days after my birthday. The year prior, on my birthday, my ex-fiancé broke up with me while having a temper tantrum/"anxiety attack" after years of psychological controlling me with his anger and control problems. Yes, on my birthday. So on my birthday, last year, I went out with a guy in the morning who insisted on spending my birthday with me. He then told me I'm not wife material and made a jab to me about me being single. That night, I went out with girlfriends and cried. I was so scared to never be happy again, but I promised myself to keep trying to find someone.

3 days later, I "met" R. We met on Coffee Meets Bagel, where the app sends you exactly one option a day at noon to either click yes or no to. I saw a picture of him laughing while jumping in one of those inflatable jump houses. It made me smile. Our conversations on the app were lackluster, but I promised myself I'd try. We went on our first date a week later. I drove about 2 hours in LA traffic due to the rain. I'm still surprised that I showed up at all. I think the only reason I kept driving was because I didn't want to "waste putting on makeup."

When I saw him, I felt something inside me I never felt since grade school. I felt that butterflies spark feeling, super strong. His smile killed me. I knew just minutes in on our date, when he took my dry sarcastic and mean jokes lightly and laughed with me, that I would marry him. I never was any romantic, so that's weird for me to feel or say. But I knew. Is that weird?

We lived together since September, after I graduated with my MA. And I can't believe how much I always just want to be near him. I can get annoyed or bored of hanging out or talking to the same person, but not with him. He's super understanding, and the perfect mix of assertive ******* but soft romantic sweetheart that I need in my life. He is a pretty good cook now, after initially almost burning his house down cooking me steak for one of our first dates. He always cooks for me, cares for me.

And most importantly, I love his family. In my prior relationship, my ex-would-be-in-laws is were extremely religious Muslims that my ex is was afraid of "coming out" to about his atheism. We were together for 5 years, but they wouldn't respect me unless I converted AND submitted to them. They treated me very poorly, and the mother even broke my engagement ring right after I just had it remade.

R's family is so different. They're not religious, they have great senses of humor, and they're all very quirky. I feel like I fit right in. I can give R shit in front of his parents, and they give him shit right along with me. He has a GIANT family, and most of them are just perfect. It's everything I've ever hoped for, as I have a very tiny family. And, they're Persian. So boobs and bling are like a requirement. I love boobs and I love bling.

Everything is just a perfect fit.


I get all giddy thinking about him and our relationship.

I'm all giddy for you Madelise just reading about how much in love you are with him and he with you. Sending you the biggest hugs and much love for things to work out just the way you want them too! ((((HUGS)))).

Mayk, I LOVE that quote from one of my all time favorite movies and it is so true.

 

[telephone89]

I sometimes post Considering I waited 10 years, I know how ya'll feel

Past tense? Wow 10 years. We're y'all together when young? I have a few sets of friends that were together since 13. We're all in our late 20s now.

Yes, high school! That's actually why I post. Because all the gals holding their breath, expecting a proposal around each corner- it's exhausting and kind of wastes your life! I don't have *that* much life experience, but bring a lady in waiting I was semi professional haha

 

[Gypsy]

I hear ya!

Yes but the rest of her life started when she met him. She doesn't need a ring or proposal or a.ceremony for that. She already has it. Now it is time to enjoy it. The rest will.come.

 

[Calliecake]

I hear ya!

Yes but the rest of her life started when she met him. She doesn't need a ring or proposal or a.ceremony for that. She already has it. Now it is time to enjoy it. The rest will.come.

Gypsy, I wish more young women saw it this way. Heck I wish I would have been smart enough to see it this way. Your words are so true.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Glad to hear you are so happy, Madelise! Gypsy has given you great advice...just treasure each day as it comes!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Hi Madelise! We were LIWs together before you became engaged to your ex... And after reading your story I am so glad that you are still a LIW! What a jerk!!! I'm so happy that things didn't work out and you found someone who treats you so much better and makes you happy!

I was with my ex for 7 years, we broke up when I was 26 and it was difficult to see that it was for the best and I had some hard times... But I began dating my (now DH) a little over a year later, and we've been together ever since. We dated for almost 5 years, were engaged for nearly 3, have been married a bit over a year and are now expecting our first baby! I'm almost 37 now, and I would have married him within months of being together too. The timeline was not exactly what I expected, but we let things move along organically and it's been a great journey and we are happier than ever.

Enjoy these happy times and try not to worry about a timeline... You will only date and be engaged for so long, but once you're married you have the rest of your lives! You're so young too! Wishing you all the happiness you deserve with lots of "boobs and bling"!!!

 

[Mayk]

I hear ya!

Yes but the rest of her life started when she met him. She doesn't need a ring or proposal or a.ceremony for that. She already has it. Now it is time to enjoy it. The rest will.come.

It's was just a sweet sentiment to a friend. I had pinned on Pinterest. I'm not a relationship expert. I married a toad and then got lucky and found a prince. He says he had to wait for me to figure it out. : glad I came around to seeing things his way.

 

[madelise]

Hi ya'll! I appreciate each reply. I don't think there's anything wrong with me feeling like a LIW. It's a feeling some people get, hence the whole subforum that used to be thriving. It's a feeling of anxiety, excitement, giddiness. It's frustrating, but a GOOD type of frustrating. Like I'm sitting at the edge of my seat, always, waiting for that happy moment. It's like a kid in the car on the way to Disneyland. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? It doesn't make the ride any worse. It's just I really really can't wait for Disneyland!

Madelise, so are you at this point just waiting for the actual proposal? It's a given that it's gonna happen right?

Yup! Hence my antsiness! I know he's reached out to chit chat and ask for directions to a few PSers in the last few months. No idea where he's gone since then. I've BEGGED him to let me go shopping with him, just for th experience. Not stuff he's actually considering, but just to go through the motions together. Cus there's something special about trying on rings together. So we went to Tiffany last week. He tried on bands, and my heart near melted!

Most Persians here are very secular.

You are creating anxiety and confkict where there is none. Stop it.

Yup! No religiousness in his fam at all! Just some cultural stuff. Which I *love* to partake in and learn from!

But I'm not understanding how my anxiety and excitedness is creating conflict? We're not conflicting at all. I am just looking for a place to "squee" at, or get excited to, or gals to just understand.

 

[madelise]

I'm all giddy for you Madelise just reading about how much in love you are with him and he with you. Sending you the biggest hugs and much love for things to work out just the way you want them too! ((((HUGS)))).

Mayk, I LOVE that quote from one of my all time favorite movies and it is so true.

Thank you! I truly am so excited and giddy. I wake up every morning just so excited to be near him. I never thought I would ever feel this. I never thought this feeling could be REAL!

 

[madelise]

I sometimes post Considering I waited 10 years, I know how ya'll feel

Past tense? Wow 10 years. We're y'all together when young? I have a few sets of friends that were together since 13. We're all in our late 20s now.

Yes, high school! That's actually why I post. Because all the gals holding their breath, expecting a proposal around each corner- it's exhausting and kind of wastes your life! I don't have *that* much life experience, but bring a lady in waiting I was semi professional haha

I don't know about wasting my life? I'm quite enjoying this "itis"! Now if it's a year later, I'd be grumpy, but nope. Just seriously excited. And antsy!

 

[madelise]

I hear ya!

Yes but the rest of her life started when she met him. She doesn't need a ring or proposal or a.ceremony for that. She already has it. Now it is time to enjoy it. The rest will.come.

That's a very romantic way of seeing things. <3 I'm enjoying it, I promise.

 

[madelise]

Hi Madelise! We were LIWs together before you became engaged to your ex... And after reading your story I am so glad that you are still a LIW! What a jerk!!! I'm so happy that things didn't work out and you found someone who treats you so much better and makes you happy!

I was with my ex for 7 years, we broke up when I was 26 and it was difficult to see that it was for the best and I had some hard times... But I began dating my (now DH) a little over a year later, and we've been together ever since. We dated for almost 5 years, were engaged for nearly 3, have been married a bit over a year and are now expecting our first baby! I'm almost 37 now, and I would have married him within months of being together too. The timeline was not exactly what I expected, but we let things move along organically and it's been a great journey and we are happier than ever.

Enjoy these happy times and try not to worry about a timeline... You will only date and be engaged for so long, but once you're married you have the rest of your lives! You're so young too! Wishing you all the happiness you deserve with lots of "boobs and bling"!!!

Yes ha, that was QUITE some time ago! 2010! I didn't know you're expecting! Congratulations!!! I still remember we were supposed to meet up in DTLA for a get together until your place had something urgent for you to tend to. If you're still in LA, I'd love to meet and bling shop or browse!

 

[madelise]

I hear ya!

Yes but the rest of her life started when she met him. She doesn't need a ring or proposal or a.ceremony for that. She already has it. Now it is time to enjoy it. The rest will.come.

It's was just a sweet sentiment to a friend. I had pinned on Pinterest. I'm not a relationship expert. I married a toad and then got lucky and found a prince. He says he had to wait for me to figure it out. : glad I came around to seeing things his way.

M, uh yeah you found a prince! We all love your hubby!! I love that movie quote too. Like I mentioned up there somewheres, I would marry him at city hall tomorrow with no ring. Can't wait for you to meet R next year. You'll love him. Everyone whose met him has.

 

[Mayk]

I hear ya!

Yes but the rest of her life started when she met him. She doesn't need a ring or proposal or a.ceremony for that. She already has it. Now it is time to enjoy it. The rest will.come.

It's was just a sweet sentiment to a friend. I had pinned on Pinterest. I'm not a relationship expert. I married a toad and then got lucky and found a prince. He says he had to wait for me to figure it out. : glad I came around to seeing things his way.

M, uh yeah you found a prince! We all love your hubby!! I love that movie quote too. Like I mentioned up there somewheres, I would marry him at city hall tomorrow with no ring. Can't wait for you to meet R next year. You'll love him. Everyone whose met him has.

Can't wait!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Hi Madelise! We were LIWs together before you became engaged to your ex... And after reading your story I am so glad that you are still a LIW! What a jerk!!! I'm so happy that things didn't work out and you found someone who treats you so much better and makes you happy!

I was with my ex for 7 years, we broke up when I was 26 and it was difficult to see that it was for the best and I had some hard times... But I began dating my (now DH) a little over a year later, and we've been together ever since. We dated for almost 5 years, were engaged for nearly 3, have been married a bit over a year and are now expecting our first baby! I'm almost 37 now, and I would have married him within months of being together too. The timeline was not exactly what I expected, but we let things move along organically and it's been a great journey and we are happier than ever.

Enjoy these happy times and try not to worry about a timeline... You will only date and be engaged for so long, but once you're married you have the rest of your lives! You're so young too! Wishing you all the happiness you deserve with lots of "boobs and bling"!!!

Yes ha, that was QUITE some time ago! 2010! I didn't know you're expecting! Congratulations!!! I still remember we were supposed to meet up in DTLA for a get together until your place had something urgent for you to tend to. If you're still in LA, I'd love to meet and bling shop or browse!

Ahhhhh, yes!!! I had almost forgotten about that incident... Our upstairs tenants had been flushing baby wipes down their toilet until their sewage backed up into our tub and toilet. Suuuuuuper fun times! Ok, I'm going to go back to trying to forget about that again, hahahaha!

I'm still in LA and not going anywhere. Would love to meet up for some bling browsing! Maybe we can make it happen before my fingers get grossly swollen. I'm expecting a baby boy in May. I'm nervous but so excited!

So excited for your upcoming engagement! The anticipation of waiting is so fun and exhilarating (oh yeah, and frustrating)!