LIW Tough Times!!

[lasscreative]

Hey Ladies!!!

I have been coping reasonably well until yesterday! I found the ring receipt (That''s not a problem, I was there when we put the order down and I know how much it costs.) the problem is he has only made 2 payments on it. The first was the down payment to start the custom work (07.13.0 and one other (09.11.0 !!!!!!! There is still over half owing.

What has he been doing for over 2 months!! We had a conversation in Mid August (I think around then) or September and I was under the impression it was paid. He is a smart boy, he wouldn''t have committed to purchasing if it was too expensive, he is not one to keep quiet when he doesn''t agree. I know he has the money to pay it off. I am just not sure what the go is?? I was expecting a proposal early December (and that is around the corner) but I am blown off course now.

Tell me what was your tough time in lady in waiting land!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[Smurfysmiles]

it takes a while to pay it off. i have mine and fi pays a little off each month. maybe he is planning to do it this way? or does he not get to take it home til it''s all paid off?

 

[Haven]

Maybe he hasn''t received the finished ring yet? Perhaps they finished it and he found something that he didn''t like and sent it back. I know I would pay for the entire product until it was in my hot little hands. It sounds like it''s a custom job, and that can take time if he finds little things that need tweaking.

I can''t really think of any other reason he wouldn''t have paid for the rest of it. Is it on layaway or something? Do stores even offer that anymore?

 

[FrekeChild]

Wait, is it the most recent receipt or an older receipt? Could it just be an older receipt and by now he's paid it all off?

Maybe? Hopefully?

As for tough times for me, his best girl friend just got engaged. She wasn't even dating her FI when FF and I first went ring shopping....sigh....Getting lapped sucks.

However, for some reason, I seem to have serious butterflies about engagement rings right now. I don't know what that's all about. The darn engagement season is getting to me apparently!

ETA: Haven, I think Layaway is making a comeback in a big way. I can't remember where I heard that, but I think some bigger department stores are starting to do it again...

 

[trillionaire]

maybe the receipt was a plant to throw you off

I had been doing just okay with LIW-itis, though a bit disheartened and discouraged, but I am really excited about the X-mas holidays to spend time with both of our families. (in KS and CA) However, we have to survive Thanksgiving with my extended family, and they have already made it known that they plan to corner and question him about his "plans".

And usually this amuses me to no end, but I am not really up for it this year. I wish people were a little less nosy sometimes...

 

[gwendolyn]

Yeah, my first thoughts were that either it was an old receipt or that, since it''s custom, it''s not done yet. Try not to expect it by X date--no doubt he will propose soon after he''s got it in his hot little hands.

 

[lasscreative]

The deposit was taken on the 13th of July.
The ring was complete on the 24th of July!
(yes it was a custom job)
He went in on the 11th of September to check it out!!! (Why would you wait that long to see the ring, the ring you are spending a bit of money on????)
He made a payment that day.

and that's where it ends!!!!!!!! It is still at the store.
I don't think it takes 4 months to make a custom ring when they said 10 days

He keeps everything together. These 2 receipts are stapled to our jewelers card. He wouldn't separate them.

WHATSSSSSS GOING ON!!!! I am dieing here!

 

[gwendolyn]

Hmm, maybe he''s had to use the money for some unexpected bills? Any car trouble recently or anything?

Honestly, in your place, I''d ask him what the deal is. That''s a long time to not make a payment on a ring that''s been ready for almost three months.

 

[lasscreative]

Date: 11/23/2008 6:47:34 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Hmm, maybe he''s had to use the money for some unexpected bills? Any car trouble recently or anything?


Honestly, in your place, I''d ask him what the deal is. That''s a long time to not make a payment on a ring that''s been ready for almost three months.

Especially when I was under the impression he had paid it off!!!!!! But the problem is he would know I went riffling through his wallet!
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place! What to do.

He had made no massive purchases or anything like that so I am not sure.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 11/23/2008 6:49:58 AM
Author: lasscreative

Date: 11/23/2008 6:47:34 AM

Author: gwendolyn

Hmm, maybe he''s had to use the money for some unexpected bills? Any car trouble recently or anything?



Honestly, in your place, I''d ask him what the deal is. That''s a long time to not make a payment on a ring that''s been ready for almost three months.

Especially when I was under the impression he had paid it off!!!!!! But the problem is he would know I went riffling through his wallet!

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place! What to do.


He had made no massive purchases or anything like that so I am not sure.

Were you looking for the receipt for the ring or for something else? If your intentions were innocent, just tell him you stumbled upon it looking for whatever you were looking for. If you were snooping--well, that''s more complicated, since you probably should''ve just asked him what was going on.

 

[lasscreative]

I stumbled upon the receipts about 2 months ago, while getting money out of his wallet for the toll (cause he was driving and he told me to grab some coins out) I obviously couldn''t look then because he was right next to me. I forgot about them until yesterday when I needed to get some money out of his wallet for groceries. I went to his car and took the note out and I saw the card staring back at me!!!! Whats a girl to do??? I have been expecting an effffing proposal!!!! So I looked. That was that.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 11/23/2008 7:00:27 AM
Author: lasscreative
I stumbled upon the receipts about 2 months ago, while getting money out of his wallet for the toll (cause he was driving and he told me to grab some coins out) I obviously couldn't look then because he was right next to me. I forgot about them until yesterday when I needed to get some money out of his wallet for groceries. I went to his car and took the note out and I saw the card staring back at me!!!! Whats a girl to do??? I have been expecting an effffing proposal!!!! So I looked. That was that.

So tell him that, and then say that you're worried about what's been going on (or not going on) with finances. Maybe something's happened that he hasn't told you about so you won't worry? Like, helping out his family financially or something? (No idea if you live together/share finances or not) It could potentially be something serious, or a misunderstanding, or who knows what. He hasn't lost his job or anything, I take it? I'd be worried there was a serious money problem going on and would want to talk to him--if it's just a delay on getting your ring, ok, but maybe it's a lot worse than that.

 

[lasscreative]

Date: 11/23/2008 7:06:16 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 11/23/2008 7:00:27 AM

Author: lasscreative

I stumbled upon the receipts about 2 months ago, while getting money out of his wallet for the toll (cause he was driving and he told me to grab some coins out) I obviously couldn''t look then because he was right next to me. I forgot about them until yesterday when I needed to get some money out of his wallet for groceries. I went to his car and took the note out and I saw the card staring back at me!!!! Whats a girl to do??? I have been expecting an effffing proposal!!!! So I looked. That was that.

So tell him that, and then say that you''re worried about what''s been going on (or not going on) with finances. Maybe something''s happened that he hasn''t told you about so you won''t worry? Like, helping out his family financially or something? (No idea if you live together/share finances or not) It could potentially be something serious, or a misunderstanding, or who knows what. He hasn''t lost his job or anything, I take it? I''d be worried there was a serious money problem going on and would want to talk to him--if it''s just a delay on getting your ring, ok, but maybe it''s a lot worse than that.

Ohhh man! I feel really cra p now! He has definitely not lost his job. But the part about helping his parents out is a strong possibility!!!!!!!!! And if that is the case, he can return the e-ring! and live happily ever after with his parents, without me.

Just between me and you guys!!!

My relationship with his parents is pretty sour!

 

[purselover]

Date: 11/23/2008 9:47:48 AM
Author: lasscreative

Date: 11/23/2008 7:06:16 AM

Author: gwendolyn

Date: 11/23/2008 7:00:27 AM


Author: lasscreative


I stumbled upon the receipts about 2 months ago, while getting money out of his wallet for the toll (cause he was driving and he told me to grab some coins out) I obviously couldn''t look then because he was right next to me. I forgot about them until yesterday when I needed to get some money out of his wallet for groceries. I went to his car and took the note out and I saw the card staring back at me!!!! Whats a girl to do??? I have been expecting an effffing proposal!!!! So I looked. That was that.

So tell him that, and then say that you''re worried about what''s been going on (or not going on) with finances. Maybe something''s happened that he hasn''t told you about so you won''t worry? Like, helping out his family financially or something? (No idea if you live together/share finances or not) It could potentially be something serious, or a misunderstanding, or who knows what. He hasn''t lost his job or anything, I take it? I''d be worried there was a serious money problem going on and would want to talk to him--if it''s just a delay on getting your ring, ok, but maybe it''s a lot worse than that.

Ohhh man! I feel really cra p now! He has definitely not lost his job. But the part about helping his parents out is a strong possibility!!!!!!!!! And if that is the case, he can return the e-ring! and live happily ever after with his parents, without me.


Just between me and you guys!!!

My relationship with his parents is pretty sour!

I''m sorry you''re frustrated but that sounds like a really harsh reaction! I obviously don''t know the history between you and his parents but if he''s close to his family and you can''t stand them that''s going to make for a tricky marriage,especially if grandkids become involved. If you really would leave him b/c his parents could be having a tough time financially and so he helps them, I think you need to do some thinking. That sounds a little extreme. If you can''t resolve the issues with his parents now, you probably never will and they will just escalate over the years. I''m not sure why you would want to get married with these circumstances. I suggest you all really try to work out your differences before that ring goes on your finger. I believe you mentioned in another post that you think he''s holding onto your ring b/c you can''t get along with his parents, and I would totally understand if that''s the case.

 

[lasscreative]

Date: 11/23/2008 10:01:21 AM
Author: purselover

Date: 11/23/2008 9:47:48 AM

Author: lasscreative

Date: 11/23/2008 7:06:16 AM


Author: gwendolyn

Date: 11/23/2008 7:00:27 AM



Author: lasscreative



I stumbled upon the receipts about 2 months ago, while getting money out of his wallet for the toll (cause he was driving and he told me to grab some coins out) I obviously couldn''t look then because he was right next to me. I forgot about them until yesterday when I needed to get some money out of his wallet for groceries. I went to his car and took the note out and I saw the card staring back at me!!!! Whats a girl to do??? I have been expecting an effffing proposal!!!! So I looked. That was that.

So tell him that, and then say that you''re worried about what''s been going on (or not going on) with finances. Maybe something''s happened that he hasn''t told you about so you won''t worry? Like, helping out his family financially or something? (No idea if you live together/share finances or not) It could potentially be something serious, or a misunderstanding, or who knows what. He hasn''t lost his job or anything, I take it? I''d be worried there was a serious money problem going on and would want to talk to him--if it''s just a delay on getting your ring, ok, but maybe it''s a lot worse than that.

Ohhh man! I feel really cra p now! He has definitely not lost his job. But the part about helping his parents out is a strong possibility!!!!!!!!! And if that is the case, he can return the e-ring! and live happily ever after with his parents, without me.



Just between me and you guys!!!

My relationship with his parents is pretty sour!

I''m sorry you''re frustrated but that sounds like a really harsh reaction! I obviously don''t know the history between you and his parents but if he''s close to his family and you can''t stand them that''s going to make for a tricky marriage,especially if grandkids become involved. If you really would leave him b/c his parents could be having a tough time financially and so he helps them, I think you need to do some thinking. That sounds a little extreme. If you can''t resolve the issues with his parents now, you probably never will and they will just escalate over the years. I''m not sure why you would want to get married with these circumstances. I suggest you all really try to work out your differences before that ring goes on your finger. I believe you mentioned in another post that you think he''s holding onto your ring b/c you can''t get along with his parents, and I would totally understand if that''s the case.

I think I need to make a collective topic for myself, because I could really use some advice and help when it comes to his family. I really don''t know what to do. I just haven''t written that post yet as it will be lengthy. I think Ill try now

 

[Steel]

Date: 11/23/2008 2:43:21 AM
Author:lasscreative
Hey Ladies!!!

I have been coping reasonably well until yesterday! I found the ring receipt (That''s not a problem, I was there when we put the order down and I know how much it costs.) the problem is he has only made 2 payments on it. The first was the down payment to start the custom work (07.13.0 and one other (09.11.0 !!!!!!! There is still over half owing.

What has he been doing for over 2 months!! We had a conversation in Mid August (I think around then) or September and I was under the impression it was paid. He is a smart boy, he wouldn''t have committed to purchasing if it was too expensive, he is not one to keep quiet when he doesn''t agree. I know he has the money to pay it off. I am just not sure what the go is?? I was expecting a proposal early December (and that is around the corner) but I am blown off course now.

Tell me what was your tough time in lady in waiting land!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hello again lasscreative,

I am so sorry to say this to you and I hope I do not offend you too much...

Perhaps it is too soon for a proposal and engagement. If your BF wants to propose and money is not a concern then perhaps something else is. A man that wants to be engaged will pop the question, if he doesn''t he won''t. And, (sorry) if he does not want it yet then you will not do yourself any favours forcing the issue.

Take care.

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 11/23/2008 2:57:50 AM
Author: FrekeChild
Wait, is it the most recent receipt or an older receipt? Could it just be an older receipt and by now he''s paid it all off?


Maybe? Hopefully?


As for tough times for me, his best girl friend just got engaged. She wasn''t even dating her FI when FF and I first went ring shopping....sigh....Getting lapped sucks.


However, for some reason, I seem to have serious butterflies about engagement rings right now. I don''t know what that''s all about. The darn engagement season is getting to me apparently!


ETA: Haven, I think Layaway is making a comeback in a big way. I can''t remember where I heard that, but I think some bigger department stores are starting to do it again...

layaway is back! that is what E is doing for ring, which i am happy about. its easier than a credit card, and it makes you work for your purchase. though i dont get the ring right away, i know he''s not going into debt for it (and i repeat that to my self EVERY night!

)

 

[girlie-girl]

Date: 11/23/2008 7:00:27 AM
Author: lasscreative
I have been expecting an effffing proposal!!!!

Perhaps herein lies the problem. I don''t think you should ever ''expect'' anything.

Maybe your bf feels the same way.

Seriously, I think you overstepped your bounds when you looked through his wallet. I don''t understand how grabbing some bills out (or coins for that matter) would have allowed you to see a receipt and what was written on it. If I were him I''d be ticked that you were riffling (your words) through my stuff. Being sneaky and looking through someone''s belongings just proves there is a lack of trust in the relationship. But then I already gave my opinions with regard to the relationship in the other thread you created.

Maybe you should chill out a bit and realize he''ll give you the ring if/when he is ready. Good luck!