Living happily ever after

[Independent Gal]

What''s the best piece of advice you ever got (or figured out) about how to live happily... not relationship advice, just advice about you yourself living happily?

I was out for dinner with a pal last night, and we were talking about how we were getting better and better at ''living'' the older we got. We agreed that it was partly because life takes practice: you get better at dealing with circumstances that arise, and you get better at something you might call ''self management,'' gaining insight into what sorts of things make you content, how to deal with yourself in different moods and stuff. So, my friend and I traded the best piece of advice we ever got for living happily.

Mine stems from the fact that I used to be shy and get embarassed really easily, but I think it applies to a lot of people. Once after a particularly mortifying experience

, my step-father said to me: "You know, nobody thinks about you anywhere near as much as you think about yourself." He didn''t mean I was vain, just that other folks are more interested in THEMselves too, and what seems like a big deal to me is only a passing thought to them.

That insight made me live more happily for sure.

My friend said:

"It''s true that you can''t just decide to change your mood if you''re unhappy, but you can decide not to wallow in it. Wallowing makes it last longer. Instead if you distract yourself or comfort yourself, through exercise, seeing friends, eating CHOCOLATE, whatever works for you...you cheer up faster and live more happily overall."

So what about you ladies (and gents!)? Any thoughts?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Hold on tight for the ride of your life... learn to not only anticipate the rough patches, but help guide the relationship through them on the best course... it''s like a roller coaster, truly... the most wild highs and lows come early on, if you can learn to hold on together, and steer together, you will find the ride gets much more scenic and managable as time passes

 

[KimberlyH]

Every experience, good and bad, one has should be viewed as a learning tool. As opposed to having regrets or feeling angry, slighted, sad, etc. about the mistakes one has made or the ways one has been wronged figure out the lesson and apply it to the rest of life. Regrets and negativity only usurp the short time we're given to spend on this planet doing the best we possibly can and enjoying those we are blessed to have in our lives (parents, siblings, spouses, friends, etc.). Cling to the good things, learn from the bad, hurtful and painful things, move on from them a better human being.

This falls in line with two of my very favorite quotes from Maya Angelou:

"You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better."

"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it."

 

[mtrb]

My life philosophy:

Life only comes around once…and if you wait until you are financially stable (speaking of children, marriage, buying a home, taking a new job, traveling and taking chances etc...) then you’ll miss it!

We all die in the end.
No matter what you have monetarily or in your possession, you can’t take it with you. All you will have is your memories, experiences and relationships.. so make the most of it right now and have fun taking chances, seeing different cultures, building relationships and changing throughout your life!!
And never ever not do something because you are AFRAID!

For me.. everything else is just gravy.

Once I started living this way.. I am a MUCH MUCH happier person.

 

[Mara]

my biggest life philosophy is that life is short, you should enjoy it to the fullest, which includes doing things you want to do, like buying things you like or think are pretty, or taking trips, or experiencing great foods, or getting a massage once a month. deprivation is not a word that is in my vocabulary at all. i work so that i can afford to play...i am not career oriented, i am cash oriented because it lets me do fun things outside of work. greg calls me a 'pleasure sponge'...he says my life is all about pleasure.

other than that, i try to always be upbeat or see things on the positive end rather than the negative and not dwell on nastiness or disappointing things...as again life is too short to be down about things, it would interfere with the fun stuff. basically the whole 'this too shall pass'.

 

[kcoursolle]

I don''t know if this is the biggest piece of advice someone has given me that has helped, but it definitely makes a huge difference in my relationship with fi. My mom told me to save my arguments for after dinner (or lunch, or other food). For whatever reason humans are naturally more crabby before mealtime, and we can think more clearly after eating.

 

[poptart]

I didn''t read any of the other posts, so I don''t know if I am repeating anyone''s learning experience here, but this is mine: Learning to give up control. It may seem kind of obvious that we don''t always have control, but it is a big issue with me. I like to know everything that''s going on and have it planned out. But with my DH being in the Navy and his discharge up in the air and being thrown around, I have realized over the past eight months that you just have to let life take its course. You can''t control everything, and getting your skivies in a bundle everytime life throws you a real curveball is a waste of time. As a result, I am extremely calm about situations that arise, both military and otherwise. Things could be better, for sure, but they could also be a lot worse. It is learning to just let life happen and handle what is given to you that is the challenge.

*M*

 

[KristyDarling]

I think it was Madame Bijoux who once posted something along the lines of, "Every day is a special occasion." Those 6 words really stuck with me. Every day is a gift, every moment with my kids, with my husband, my friends....because I have no idea if I''ll still be here tomorrow. A morbid thought yes, but great for keeping things in perspective and helping me to enjoy even the most mundane parts of everyday life.

 

[mtrb]

Date: 12/6/2006 2:43:19 PM
Author: KristyDarling
I think it was Madame Bijoux who once posted something along the lines of, ''Every day is a special occasion.'' Those 6 words really stuck with me. Every day is a gift, every moment with my kids, with my husband, my friends....because I have no idea if I''ll still be here tomorrow. A morbid thought yes, but great for keeping things in perspective and helping me to enjoy even the most mundane parts of everyday life.

I fully agree with this. It isn''t the diamonds you have or cars you drive, its the time you have and who you share it with it that really matters...because in the end, all the diamonds and cars in the world can''t get you back that time.

 

[MINE!!]

Write your furture in pencil, so you can erase.

 

[CaptAubrey]

There''s no more pointless fear than fear of failure.

Never refrain from trying something simply because you''re afraid you may not succeed at it. In general, you''ll regret the things you never did far more than the things you tried and didn''t make it.

 

[bar01]

Happy ever after? Hummm... perhaps more accepting and content with what life has dished out sometimes...

But here are some things that guided me...

- To forgive myself and to forgive others for trespasses – even if they dont not ask for it – or they think they need it!

- To accept that “Life is what happens when you are making other plans”

- And that no one ever dies wishing they spent more time in the office.



I read an article about actor Will Smith recently...he said the following

"So I always explain it as: Think of yourself as two people, and one of them is inside of you, and he's a scorekeeper. And he keeps score of your idea of the world. ... And when you have a conflict with your scorekeeper, that's unhappiness. Happiness is being completely in sync" -- he slapped his palms together -- "with your own perception of goodness."

Full link to article here

 

[Independent Gal]

Wow, Will Smith has been reading his Plato. Cool. I always knew he was a smart guy.

That reminds me of some advice my grandma gave me. She said "In life, there is nothing more important than respecting yourself, every single day. That means that every single day, you have to try to behave in a way that''s worthy of respect." And hey, I should listen to her when it comes to happiness. After all, she''s in her late 80''s and just the other day, on the phone, she said to me "You know, dear, I just don''t know how I could be any happier. I''ve had such a good life, and I have such a wonderful family. And when my time comes, I''m ready."

Wow. Can''t ask for more than that. But, wait, you say... you could have all that and still ask for...a breathtaking diamond?

Hey, she''s got one of those too!

Maybe I''ll ask her if I can take handshots when I''m visiting her next week.