Life is not fair…

[nala]

Do you feel like has been fair to you? Please note— I only gave two choices. I realize fair is a relative term and that many people are resilient, but I want to know how you view LIFE treating you—not you responding to life.

 

[bludiva]

I’m saying no bc I don’t think it’s fair to anyone, so much is luck and circumstance. I’ve been really lucky in some ways and unlucky in others.

 

[Begonia]

It's been a mixed bag.

 

[kenny]

I learned that life isn't fair before I could tie my shoes.

Anyone who tells you life is fair is lying.

 

[kenny]

She is the right age to learn that fairness is a fallacy.
IMO good parents teach this.
Then it doesn't come as a difficult and painful surprise to learn later in life.

I couldn't vote in the poll because the question itself presumes fairness is real and something we are all entitled to, when it's actually a fallacy, a defective expectation.

I also don't think life "treats" you in any way.
I'm responsible for my life.

That said, sometimes in life sh!t happens.
It has nothing to do with the fallacy of fairness.
Sh!t just happens.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

No
but i try not to think about it and just box on

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Yes and no. Yes in that people just have different challenge, but overall probably life is not fair.

 

[dk168]

Life is NEVER fair, however, it goes on and does not stop for anyone, and I have learnt to cope with the bad hands dealt to me the best way I can.

DK

 

[GliderPoss]

I think life isn’t fair, it’s usually a mixed bag and it largely depends on what you chose to make of it - how you deal with the unlucky moments & bounce back.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

In the beginning definitely not, being born into a dysfunctional family who doesn’t even care you exist then losing my mother to cancer at age 8, not cool life, not cool at all.

However, life gave me a break for my older years and gave me the family I wished for when I was younger, so yes to the older years.

 

[Missy]

Not reading any replies yet and sharing my authentic feelings.

Life is not fair.
Life is not perfect.
Once you accept that you can enjoy your life.
Knowing it isn't fair.

We do the best we can under the circumstances.
Some have more advantages than others.
Others have zero advantages.
Some are lucky more of the time.
Some are unlucky more of the time.

The one constant in life is that it is always changing. You will have good luck and bad luck and the only thing that can be controlled is how we react to individual circumstances and how we deal with adverse events.

I feel it is a trap to think life should be fair.
To think we are entitled to fairness in life.
We simply aren't.
It is a miracle (IMO) we are here and alive and I want to make the most of my time here.
For better or worse.
I am thankful to be here.

We can control some things. We cannot control it all. And we can always control how we react to external events.

Someone famous once said...

"Life is not fair.
It never was.
It never will be."

Refuse to be the victim.
Refuse to be ruled by fear.
Refuse to quit.
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for being.
Keep moving forward and never give up.

If you focus on what is within your power to change for the better life will be better.

And while life isn't fair it is better than death. IMO.



@nala I just realized I didn't answer your question..."Is life fair to you"
I cannot answer that. Because life is not fair period. I have no complaints. I have had many advantages in life.
I have also had "bad" things happen. But I bounce back. I don't expect life to be "fair" or "perfect" it just is.
And I do the best I can under the circumstances. It is all any of us can do.
I will never quit until I am dead.
And hopefully that won't be for a very long time.

 

[lissyflo]

It’s been as fair to me as to anyone else I guess, in as far as blind happen chance can be fair to anyone!

I generally take a scientific view of life, not having a religious bone in my body, but have a bit of the superstitious thrown in for good measure. Taking that view, there’s no reason why a series of random events should end up being fair over one person’s life. If we got to live a million lives, then on average I guess they should even out to somewhere near fair, but…

Luck, blind luck drives a lot of happenings that we can’t directly control ourselves. I strongly agree, however, with whoever it was said “the harder I work, the ‘luckier’ I tend to become”. Make your own chances.

(This all relates to events outside our control. Obviously the nicer you are to others for instance, the greater the chance of receiving niceness back. You’d hope anyway!)

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I voted yes, but then I changed it to no. Because honestly, I was born in exceptionally lucky circumstances, and I did nothing to deserve them - loving, successful, caring parents who pushed me to excel and gave me all the tools I needed to do so.

Of course I’ve had my share of trauma and I won’t get into those. But, who hasnt? I will say that I’ve gotten whatever I’ve deserved in a lot of ways - put in effort, get back reward. So in that sense, it has been fair. But it isn’t fair that I was born in a place of privilege when I did nothing to earn it. Life has been generous to me, but not really fair.

Hindus believe that life inherently is fair, that you reap what you sow. If you’re born in terrible circumstances today, it’s because you did something to deserve it in your previous life; and/or by toiling in your current life to do right by all, your next life will be wonderful. That is a belief system that doesn’t fully sit right by me - as a Hindu - because I don’t like to think that accident of birth can be considered someone’s own fault. That being said, I do believe in karma and I try to live my own life keeping my “good deed” meter high. But that’s a digression.

So to sum up - life hasn’t been fair to me, just like it isn’t fair to anyone. But it has been generous overall, and I’ve been lucky. So, no complaints (personally)

 

[Rockdiamond]

I instinctively voted yes.
Then started to read the responses
Of course life isn’t fair….
But I’ve shifted my perspective to focus on the things for which are “fair”… and focus on being grateful.
I realized that getting angry over things like when you drop an egg….it’s like throwing away the nut and trying to eat the shell.
I’ve committed myself to choosing other reactions… like…instead of dropping an F bomb, I smile and say….”I just dropped an egg…still got 11 in the fridge… and I can still walk to the store”
Whatever we have now… family, health, friends…. at some point they’ll all be gone. So I choose to revel in the parts of life that are so amazing.
Such as Hangout on PS

 

[yssie]

I actually do believe life. In kind of a circuitous way.

I believe that people who wrong others will get what they deserve, in commensurate severity, in this life (not the next), without me having to take any action personally. I don’t have to enforce vengeance - the “universe” will take care of it for me.

Seems like that wouldn’t be possible if life isn’t fair, and I need to believe that, so I guess I also believe life is fair.

 

[icy_jade]

Compare the fate of a girl baby born in Afghanistan vs one born in… say one of the Nordic countries.

Or a boy baby born to dirt poor parents vs another born to a billionaire.

Or someone born to loving parents vs neglectful or abusive parents.

So yeah life is not fair. But the fact that we are here and able to discuss diamonds and other bling already makes us very privileged imo.

 

[elizat]

Life is NEVER fair, however, it goes on and does not stop for anyone, and I have learnt to cope with the bad hands dealt to me the best way I can.

DK

Basically this. What you think is fair for you, someone else laments. When you think someone else is happy or content, they are miserable and may be dealing with a lot. I don't think anything is what it seems. Some people are "luckier" because they are very wealthy, or born into a situation where things are easier (think those with large amounts of family money, that do not have to work if they don't want to), but who knows if those people are even actually pleased.

Life is inherently unfair and that's probably the deisgn of it.

 

[Matata]

"Life" is not an entity with a brain, emotion, or conscience. People are not always fair in how they create situations for themselves and others. Random events happen without something named "life" pulling the strings. Some hold the opinion that life is fair because it's unfair to everyone.

 

[Bonfire]

"Life" is not an entity with a brain, emotion, or conscience. People are not always fair in how they create situations for themselves and others. Random events happen without something named "life" pulling the strings. Some hold the opinion that life is fair because it's unfair to everyone.

 

[Gussie]

Fair is a countywide event with fried food and quilt contests. The rest is just life.

 

[diamondringlover]

life sucks

 

[Lookinagain]

Is life fair, no. Not in general. But answering the question which was asked, "has life been fair to you", my answer is yes. I think I've been lucky, so maybe that is more than fair. But I don't feel that any of the "bad" or sad things that have happened in my life are things that haven't happened to others. My family gave me a tremendous amount of opportunity (that's the luck) and I feel like I made the most of it that I could. And I have no real complaints so in that sense, yes, I feel it has been fair to me.

 

[Jambalaya]

I couldn't vote because like another reply, it's been a very mixed bag. I can think of 2-3 great things life gave me that the majority of people don't have, and I can think of 2-3 horrible things life also gave me that the majority don't have. N.B. all these things are circumstances I was born into that I had no control over at all. So I would have to pick "neutral." Neither unduly fair not unduly unfair.

Someone who always seems to me to be very lucky is Kate Middleton, and not only because she married royalty, but also because she seems to have a fab family of origin, seems to have a stable temperament, AND on top of that, is really healthy and good-looking!

I know other people who have really had a tough go of it. People who lost their spouses in their thirties, AND lost parents early, AND had serious illnesses themselves.

I do think that some people's lives are objectively more unfair than others.

 

[donnabrsd]

Life has been fair to me. I feel I've had my equal share ranging from very good to very bad.

I do know many where life has not been fair. Some with so much good luck and fortune to those that can't catch a break.

 

[dk168]

Money does not buy happiness, it buys convenience and short-lived gratifications, IMHO.

I am grateful for my lot.

DK

 

[seaurchin]

I've definitely had my share of disappointments and such but overall, I'd still say life has been more than fair to me. I feel very fortunate.

 

[Jambalaya]

Money does not buy happiness, it buys convenience and short-lived gratifications, IMHO.

I am grateful for my lot.

DK

Right, people with money often spend it in ways that seems crazy to normal folk. But if you're not part of the gold-tap brigade, or the toy-with-the-most-buttons club, money can also buy you a certain amount of relief from stress and strain, it can give you options, it can buy you great medical care, it can enable you to help others, and it can enable you to buy good-quality food and to live in a healthy environment. Convenience is good if your health isn't the best. Used properly, money can be a good thing, as long as humility is also retained by the person with the money. I've been two people get their hands on a large windfall and they did change.

I was thinking recently that if I suddenly won the lottery (which won't happen as I never play it - maybe I should!) I just don't know what I would DO with all that money in terms of myself (as opposed to donations that I would definitely make). I'm diabetic and have ADHD and macular degeneration, so I don't have the energy to manage a large home. The idea makes me feel overwhelmed. My hobbies are all things that don't require a large investment: reading, playing an instrument, swimming. I'm not hugely into clothes and I have a lot of jewelry already. I guess I would buy somewhere a little nicer than I have now, and maybe buy a few clothes and jewelry, and maybe go on a vacation or two, but I'm reasonably happy with my lot and I don't think suddenly getting a few million would bring a change in happiness that's commensurate with the money.

Sorry for the essay!

 

[redwood66]

"Life" is not an entity with a brain, emotion, or conscience. People are not always fair in how they create situations for themselves and others. Random events happen without something named "life" pulling the strings. Some hold the opinion that life is fair because it's unfair to everyone.

This. Life is just life.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

 

[Calliecake]

I’m glad I learned early in life that no matter what you are going thru there is so much to be grateful for. Gratitude goes a long way in making a happy life.