Let''s talk BM dresses

[sunnyd]

20 questions, go!

1. Did you pick them out for your BMs?
2. Did they have a lot of input?
3. Do they fit the feel of your wedding or are they more just what looked good on them?

I''m still struggling with the BM dress thing...and maybe I just wanna go try on more dresses...

 

[emeraldlover1]

I made a bigger deal out of it then it was. Remember my bridezilla thread? Anyway...I asked for input and at the last minute changed the dress but they all liked it better anyway. I tried on all of the dresses up for consideration by the way. lol.

 

[violet3]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:22:00 PM
Author:sunnyd
20 questions, go!

1. Did you pick them out for your BMs?
2. Did they have a lot of input?
3. Do they fit the feel of your wedding or are they more just what looked good on them?

I''m still struggling with the BM dress thing...and maybe I just wanna go try on more dresses...

Hmmm....i didn''t really pick them, but my sister did (well, the line at least). I''ll have five bridesmaids total, and my sister is my MOH - i more or less picked what color i liked (deep teal) and then my sister and i went and tried on a bunch to see what line would offer the most options for the ladies to wear... she found a dress she loved, so we picked that line.

I decided early on that they could all wear whatever they wanted, and my sister was really excited about cocktail length dresses, as she''s been a bridesmaid 7 times or so before in floor length. So we picked cocktail length, deep teal, Mori Lee and the girls can pick any dress they want. I think it looks pretty when the bmaids aren''t identical, so....

Do they fit the feel of the wedding? i think they do! but i also think that''s by accident and if they hadn''t fit the feel of it, i would have chosen whatever they looked good/felt good in anyway.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:34:03 PM
Author: emeraldlover1
I made a bigger deal out of it then it was. Remember my bridezilla thread? Anyway...I asked for input and at the last minute changed the dress but they all liked it better anyway. I tried on all of the dresses up for consideration by the way. lol.

I remember, but I don''t think it was bridezilla worthy. Maybe because I''m thinking of doing the same thing.

 

[ash313]

Fun thread!

1. I did not pick them out, they will choose their own. I told them they could wear any dress they wanted, so long as it was mostly black and they felt fabulous in it! I also encouraged floor-length, just to try to tie the look together a little bit. They all prefer floor-length, actually.

2. They have tons of input, as they can wear something they already own, borrow, whatever! Any material, any style.

3. I think both. They fit the feel of the wedding (elegant and classic with the black, but with a laidback vibe, as the dresses will probably be very different) and I hope they choose something they feel looks good on them!

ETA: This was actually the most liberating wedding decision ever. I was stressing about it, then realized I was stressed because I just felt silly choosing a dress for these four unique, diverse beautiful women. As soon as I made this decision, it felt so good! And they are VERY excited about it, all enjoying the hunt for something fabulous!

 

[violet3]

Wait, sunnyd! you already picked dresses? were yours the long red ones? i can''t remember off the top of my head, but if they are the ones i am thinking of (on three dark haired ladies) they were very pretty.....what are you considering changing to??? can''t wait to see

 

[sunnyd]

violet, yes, that was me! Or them, I should say.

I just don''t know about them. It was great at the time because 3/4 agreed on one of 253453 that we tried on! But now...I just don''t know. Blah.

 

[violet3]

Are you concerned they don''t fit in with the wedding as a whole or your dress or is there a different issue? Sounds like you''ve had a long trek with the whole BM dress issue -- maybe you''ve given them a more opinion room than you should have? (just pondering here). Sometimes you can go round and round and they will never ALL agree

I have liked being asked what i like/think about BM dresses but i have also been in a couple of weddings where the bride picked the dress and said "this is what you''ll be wearing." I never minded at all - i just went and bought the dress and that was that.

 

[musincy]

I found my BM dresses on anntaylor.com, and then took the girls with me to the store to try them on. We tried some other more bridesmaid-ish dresses, but they didn''t like them as much. Thankfully, the Ann Taylor dresses were on clearance, so that made up our minds, and it made my color decision!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 4/21/2009 6:13:58 PM
Author: violet3
Are you concerned they don''t fit in with the wedding as a whole or your dress or is there a different issue? Sounds like you''ve had a long trek with the whole BM dress issue -- maybe you''ve given them a more opinion room than you should have? (just pondering here). Sometimes you can go round and round and they will never ALL agree

I have liked being asked what i like/think about BM dresses but i have also been in a couple of weddings where the bride picked the dress and said ''this is what you''ll be wearing.'' I never minded at all - i just went and bought the dress and that was that.

I think that''s my problem with it. Plus the fact that I never really wanted satin for them, but that''s what we ended up with. I likey the taffeta Bari Jay dresses.

I just want them to look good and keep the price low. Is that so much to ask?!

 

[sammyj]

Date: 4/21/2009 6:43:44 PM
Author: sunnyd

I think that''s my problem with it. Plus the fact that I never really wanted satin for them, but that''s what we ended up with. I likey the taffeta Bari Jay dresses.

I just want them to look good and keep the price low. Is that so much to ask?!

Hey sunnyd, this is what I want too. But considering I haven''t booked a venue yet OR set a date OR asked my bridal party...well, I can only tell you what I plan to do! I haven''t decided which colour I want the BM dresses to be, but neither colour I''m considering is universally flattering. I don''t care about uniformity and I don''t want my girls to spend money on a dress they''ll never wear again (especially if it''s a colour that''s not prevalent in their wardrobe), so I was just going to tell them to buy any dress in whatever shade but in a certain fabric. (I love the Bari Jay taffeta dresses too!)

 

[lliang_chi]

I haven''t tackled bridesmaid dresses yet but I went to Home Depot and got a paint swatch and am going to mail it out to them. They can find whatever dress that''s approximately that color. They decided on cocktail length dresses and I"m allowing them to wear whatever shoes and jewelry they want.

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:22:00 PM
Author:sunnyd
20 questions, go!

1. Did you pick them out for your BMs?
2. Did they have a lot of input?
3. Do they fit the feel of your wedding or are they more just what looked good on them?

I''m still struggling with the BM dress thing...and maybe I just wanna go try on more dresses...

I haven''t purchased them yet, but I have some I like.

I have showed my bridesmaids, and they like them but in the end it doesn''t matter. I am paying for them- I choose

Please note though that I would not pick something if they felt uncomfortable or self concious in them.

I like them because they fit the ''feel'' of the wedding, very glamourous and pefect for a cocktail reception.

 

[JR320]

I took 3/6 bridesmaids with me to go shopping. Two of them looked great in everything and my MOH was having trouble finding something she felt comfortable in. As it turned out, the dress she liked was another BM''s favorite. So that decided the line/fabric. I chose the color. All of the girls had the option of choosing any style the liked within that line/fabric/color. It worked out that the dresses ended up being taffeta, same fabric as mine. So I think that helps tie it together.

I definitely could''ve chosen a dress with a similar neckline to my dress and asked them all to wear it, but I''m glad I let them choose because I wanted them to feel pretty and special and there was no one dress that was going to flatter all of their different body types. I''m also going to let them choose their own shoes and jewelry.

I went through that whole "what if this wasn''t the right choice!" neurosis for about 2 weeks after we chose the dresses. I think its hard because there are SO many options/combinations available for bridesmaids. I went back to the shop where we''re ordering the dresses to look at them again and I felt a lot better after that. They really are beautiful and my girls will look stunning in them.

 

[Blair138]

My sister (MOH) picked them out, I loved them. Ironically they were shown in the exact colors I was thinking, which made my color decision for me.

They did have input a little, because the first dress we picked was not A-line and my cousin flipped because she thinks she''s fat

(she''s not). So we changed our minds and went with the A-line skirt.

They totally fit my wedding and they look good on everyone

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:22:00 PM
Author:sunnyd
20 questions, go!

1. Did you pick them out for your BMs?

2. Did they have a lot of input?

3. Do they fit the feel of your wedding or are they more just what looked good on them?


I''m still struggling with the BM dress thing...and maybe I just wanna go try on more dresses...

1. Yep.

2. Some, but I wouldn''t say a lot in the end..MOH (my Mom did)..but other BMs did not.

3. They fit the feel of the wedding AND look good on them.

 

[sunnyd]

If anyone is still reading this, one more question from the crazy obsessive BM lady (that''s me

).

I was set on dark red BM dresses. I still kinda am. I also love the Bill Levkoff taffeta dresses. Their red is too pinky, but the espresso (our other color) is really pretty. Should I switch it? Make the dresses brown and the tablecloths dark red instead of vice versa? I wanted red flowers in the centerpiece, will that clash with red linens?

Sorry, I''m a psycho it seems.

The hopeful color scheme for reference:

 

[sunnyd]

Here''s the Sable color, they don''t have the red on the site sadly.

 

[Kelli]

I can''t answer about the red flowers on red linens, but I LOVE that brown color. I think it would look great for dresses!

 

[sammyj]

I''d say go with the brown dresses (more flattering in general, plus it''s gorgeous!). Red linens and red flowers...I''m not really a fan. Could you do gold linens? Or even brown linens with brown dresses is still fine.

 

[geckodani]

Heh. I had one bridesmaid, my older sister. The picking of the dress went something like this:

Me: Do you want to wear blue or green?
Deb: Um... Green.
Me: K. Go find a dress.

She ended up in a J. Crew Limey Green tea length dress, brown sandals and kukui nut accessories. Since the best man was in a bright green hawaiian shirt and brown pants, it worked out well.

The weddings I''ve been a part of have gone quite differently though. For my sister''s and my mother''s, we picked out our own dresses. I adore and still wear the one from my Mom''s (another J.Crew dress, the Sophia).

For the other two weddings, the dresses were chosen for me, by the bride. I despise them both. Mostly because both of the brides were/are very slender petite ladies and they picked dresses that looked good on them with no input from the large ladies in the wedding party, myself included.

For the love of little green apples, take your bridesmaids with you, or at least 1 at the opposite end of the body spectrum from you, if you''re the one trying on dresses.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 4/22/2009 2:43:08 PM
Author: sunnyd
If anyone is still reading this, one more question from the crazy obsessive BM lady (that''s me

).

I was set on dark red BM dresses. I still kinda am. I also love the Bill Levkoff taffeta dresses. Their red is too pinky, but the espresso (our other color) is really pretty. Should I switch it? Make the dresses brown and the tablecloths dark red instead of vice versa? I wanted red flowers in the centerpiece, will that clash with red linens?

Sorry, I''m a psycho it seems.

The hopeful color scheme for reference:

Then go with the red.

 

[Morgie44]

I chose the color, and then we all went to a store that carried a ton of lines and told them they all had to mutually agree on a line. They ended up deciding between Dessy and Saison Blanche, which was more expensive but they all liked the dresses more. I personally liked the dessy dresses more, but wanted them to be happy so I told them Amethyst Satin Saison Blanche in Tea Length or a long dress that is a-line that can be shortened to Tea length. I also gave them a choice (as a group) to order through the store or online... so we are ordering through netbride.

Some of the dresses aren''t really my style, and not what I would have chosen, but they are the ones wearing them and paying for them, I wanted them to have some input. I think that though the styles are varied since the fabric is the same material and color, it will tie them all together. I also told them any gold open toed shoe...

 

[meresal]

1. Yes
2. Not really
3. The feel of my wedding

This makes me sound like a bi**h, but I did alot of looking around before giving them the final 2 to choose from. They look great on everyone, and to be honest, of all 4 that I had everyone try on thruout the process, they loved every one of them!! I think I know them better than they realize

ETA: You know I finally ended up with Bill Lekoff dresses?!?

ETA2: Don't mean to throw a wrench in the plans, but if you went with espresso dresses, have you thought about gold table cloths with red flowers?

 

[anniee19]

2 of my 5 girls and I went shopping at two different places. I originally wanted short, taffeta dresses for our memorial weekend wedding, but we couldn''t find any that we loved. I mentioned letting them each choose a different style of similar dresses in the same color and they liked that idea. We found some dresses by House of Wu that worked out well, even though they aren''t even close to what I thought we would pick. All of the bridesmaids liked them, and they felt more comfortable wearing those dresses than anything else they tried on.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 4/22/2009 3:18:47 PM
Author: sammyj
I''d say go with the brown dresses (more flattering in general, plus it''s gorgeous!). Red linens and red flowers...I''m not really a fan. Could you do gold linens? Or even brown linens with brown dresses is still fine.

If I do brown, I''d want to have red linens I think, just so that there''s red somewhere. $#@! but then they might clash with the orangey-red drapes. Gah! I can''t win!

What designers have a few red tafetta designs? Anyone? Or any fabric but satin. I have a prejudice against it.

Is chiffon appropriate for a late fall evening wedding?

 

[Sparkalicious]

What designers have a few red tafetta designs? Anyone? Or any fabric but satin. I have a prejudice against it.

Is chiffon appropriate for a late fall evening wedding?

1. Did you pick them out for your BMs?

- Yes, I was inspired by a couple of dresses and asked for their thoughts. After receiving their feedback, I selected the dress that I loved the most and was well received.

2. Did they have a lot of input?

- I showed a couple of dresses to them and asked for their feedback. No real input, per se, but if they did NOT like the dress, I would have asked why and if for legit reasons, I would have moved on to another choice

3. Do they fit the feel of your wedding or are they more just what looked good on them?

- I think that the color of the dresses exactly matches the pistachio green color I envisioned in my head and I believe that they do fit the feel of the wedding. Unfortunately, as we are all spread out all over the country, not a single bridesmaid got to try on the dress prior to purchase. They will only get to see how it fits once they receive it. It''s a pretty forgiving style though so it should be complimentary on most body types. This was an important consideration for me.

- With regards to which designers - Alfred Angelo comes to mind right away. Great selection of taffeta dresses and colors. I''m also biased b/c my bm dresses are from The Vineyard Collection but the entire Priscilla of Boston bm lines - Melissa Sweet, The Vineyard Collection etc have great bm dress choices & colors in taffeta if I recall correctly.

- I think that depending on the dress style, you could rock chiffon at late fall evening wedding, absolutely!

Hope that this helps, sunny!

 

[sammyj]

Date: 4/22/2009 5:35:51 PM

Date: 4/22/2009 3:18:47 PM
Author: sammyj
I''d say go with the brown dresses (more flattering in general, plus it''s gorgeous!). Red linens and red flowers...I''m not really a fan. Could you do gold linens? Or even brown linens with brown dresses is still fine.

Author: sunnyd

If I do brown, I''d want to have red linens I think, just so that there''s red somewhere. $#@! but then they might clash with the orangey-red drapes. Gah! I can''t win!

What designers have a few red tafetta designs? Anyone? Or any fabric but satin. I have a prejudice against it.

Is chiffon appropriate for a late fall evening wedding?

Well, I''m wearing this Alfred Angelo in Cherry Red for a wedding in June. I''m not crazy about it, but at least you know they carry red (and various shades)! And I think I''m prejudiced against satin too...I''d do chiffon all year round!

 

[Kelli]

Sorry to thread-jack, but sammyj, would you mind telling me what you don''t like about that dress? It''s one I keep coming back to for my girls.

 

[Elmorton]

I took my MoH and another BM, we chose together. I had some styles I liked, showed the BMs, and then they found one that was both flattering, in a good price range, and came in my colors.

Looking back, it must have seemed to my other BMs that I just dictated, which would be very uncharacteristic of me because I was a plus-size bride and pretty conscious about different body types. My BMs were actually all the same dress size (same as my MoH) with the exception of the BM that went dress shopping, and it was a really flattering style.

For the wedding I''m in this summer, I got to pick my own dress. Loved that - I can say with all honesty that I plan to wear the dress again.

For the wedding I''m going to be in next spring, it sounds like the MoH (bride''s sister) will be picking out the dress. I''m not crazy about her taste and she''s about 8 sizes smaller than me, so this could get interesting. We''ll see.