Let's Discuss Our Inner Divas

[Jambalaya]

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna let her out!

Sick of being the last one to email or the first one to follow up to an unanswered message. Sick of having dates who have shown a lot of interest then ignore me. Sick of family members commenting on my weight or co-workers commenting on my obvious differences from them (I didn't grow up around here).

How do YOU honor and cherish YOUR inner diva? How do you nourish her? How long is her leash? Have you perfected the art of letting her flex her strength while not being so rude that she makes you into the bad guy?

Next time I get a booty call, I'm not even going to bother replying. If he follows up, I.D. will simply say, "Oh, that? I thought you were joking."

I'm gonna need some bigger damn pearls.

 

[Tekate]

My inner diva was let out around age 55 Jambalaya, I tell people what I think nicely or not so, I am proud of my blue blue collar beginnings. I gotta say that I had counseling over the years at least 4 different times and this helped me immensely. I began by this: "Is this good for me" that my last therapist asked me to say over and over to the point where I parse things through this statement in my life. Starting with my family members, and I learned to walk away, hang up nicely and not call for a time, and just think is this good for me? Would I take this from a co-worker? a friend? etc.

I become Kate centered and parse things thru my "how does this make me feel?" Does it feel right, after several years I was much happier and more or less not reacting as much as thinking things thru more. I started enjoying those friends who enjoyed me back, stopped chasing my sister to try and create a sister relationship etc.. it was very good for me Jambalaya.. if you go out with a guy and he seems nice and interested and you don't hear from him again, then it's not you it's him, really true, and amen on not getting involved with losers.

So I guess I started with my inner me, letting her be herself.

xo

 

[tyty333]

I think my inner Diva is completely out of the closet or, more likely, I just dont have one!

 

[Matthews1127]

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna let her out!

Sick of being the last one to email or the first one to follow up to an unanswered message. Sick of having dates who have shown a lot of interest then ignore me. Sick of family members commenting on my weight or co-workers commenting on my obvious differences from them (I didn't grow up around here).

How do YOU honor and cherish YOUR inner diva? How do you nourish her? How long is her leash? Have you perfected the art of letting her flex her strength while not being so rude that she makes you into the bad guy?

Next time I get a booty call, I'm not even going to bother replying. If he follows up, I.D. will simply say, "Oh, that? I thought you were joking."

I'm gonna need some bigger damn pearls.

I unleashed my diva in my 20’s. She got stronger & bolder as I progressed through my 30’s. I’m more mellow, in my 40’s....but I take no sh*t. I won’t give it....and I refuse to take it.
Having DH has helped me learn to share the floor, and be part of a team, instead of running the show on my own. He found out quickly that I’m an Alpha, and he fell in love with me because of it...lol! He’s far from anything less than an Alpha, BUT, we SHARE that role, together. We are a pack, and we roll that way: Alpha at the head, pups & elderly in the center, and Alpha bringing up the rear. It works for us.
Don’t settle for less, and be who you are. You’ll respect yourself more, and earn respect from those of whom you seek respect.
I lived my life asking myself, “Is this best for my children?” If so, I knew it was best for me. Otherwise, I avoided whatever/whoever. I still live my life this way, only I have to include questions like, “What would DH do/say/feel about _______?” “Would DH agree with _______?” “How will _______ effect/impact my family?” Keeping his feelings, and our family involved in my decisions is vital to maintaining a healthy marriage, and contributing to decisions that benefit our family.
It’s all about perspective....

 

[Jambalaya]

Great replies! Girl power!

 

[LinSF]

I unleashed my inner diva in the last couple of years... it took giving birth to a future diva for me to realize that I wasn't ever being true to myself. I am now unapologetic about being driven, taking no nonsense, my opinions, and being able to access my womanly prowess to propel myself forward. I didn't want to have my tiny woman observe a weak woman, and so I made a huge change in life and decided there was nothing wrong with me demanding to be treated well, with dignity, and not taking any crap (which led to a 3+ year miserable divorce, BUT it was worth it to show her what's right).

I tell my mini diva everyday while touching her little chest, "You are now and will always be beautiful in HERE. No matter what anyone says or does to you."

I no longer need anyones affirmation, nor care what anyones opinion is. I know that I deserve way more than I've ever gotten (if anyone can really deserve anything in this life), and that there are people who are just not worth engaging with. If they don't contribute in a positive manner to my life then forget it! I'm too old to play games, or have people in my life that suck away life energy- whether friend, family, or others!

FH loves my strength and tenacity, he values my opinions and challenges me in ways I've never been challenged before. That's what my inner diva needs, someone who accepts and isn't threatened by that strength. I keep the smallest circle of friends, but mostly because I believe in strong, meaningful relationships with people who truly understand me. Gone are the days of wishing for acceptance.

Be strong, be brave, and don't ever let anyone question what you want or hold you back!

 

[missy]

Yes I have with age (and acquired wisdom) become more selfish. As in if someone negatively stresses me or is an unpleasant person to deal with or is toxic and a liar etc I remove myself from their life. Like the wise @Tekate Kate the great I ask myself how does this person/this situation make me feel? And if the answer is makes me feel bad/sad/upset/anxious etc. and I have the power to control my involvement in it I remove myself. And usually feel immediately better and if not instantaneously relieved that does come. Sometimes you are dealing with a negative influence for so long it takes time to realize how great it is when it is gone.

Like @LinSF I no longer need anyone's approval (with the exception of my dh and even then not always). I do what feels right to/for me and do not care what others think of me as long as I am doing what I feel is the right and best thing. Everything else is peripheral noise. And if you don't make my life better, if you are against me and not with me, well then that's OK. Bye. You cannot be friends with everyone and everyone is not going to like you. I accept and embrace that. There are perks to being a certain age when you finally realize it. The lightbulb goes off. And it is a relief knowing you don't have to like everyone and everyone does not have to like you.

And if you're a game player once I realize that I am out. The only games I enjoy are board games and card games.

One other thing, if you don't put energy in our friendship as in you don't value our friendship as much as I do then OK once I realize it I am out. I don't want to be friends with anyone who doesn't want to be friends with me. I will put in the time and energy and work necessary if you are willing to as well. We are a team even in friendship and to make a relationship good both parties have to want to be in that relationship.

I am not a diva however. Just a discerning individual who now knows what works for her and what doesn't. And that is the most anyone could hope for. Knowing oneself. It is a gift.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I never do anything I don't want to do. I may smile politely but then I will do whatever I want anyway.

Sometimes when my blood is up I will tell people exactly what I think of them but only when I am in the mood for it and I am pretty sure I can burn those bridges because they are useless to me.

The only person I do stuff for that I don't really want to do is my kid. This includes stuff like standing in the hot sun under an umbrella for HOURS to chat to him while he plays at the beach or going on play dates and chatting for hours with parents I have never met before.

 

[missy]

I never do anything I don't want to do. I may smile politely but then I will do whatever I want anyway.

Sometimes when my blood is up I will tell people exactly what I think of them but only when I am in the mood for it and I am pretty sure I can burn those bridges because they are useless to me.

The only person I do stuff for that I don't really want to do is my kid. This includes stuff like standing in the hot sun under an umbrella for HOURS to chat to him while he plays at the beach or going on play dates and chatting for hours with parents I have never met before.

Yes, by the very definition of the word being a Mother is as selfless as they come.
Hardest job ever but also the most rewarding.

 

[LJsapphire]

I am too mellow and not diva enough a lot of the time. Sometimes I wish I was better at standing up for myself.

 

[sledge]

Some of the best advice ever.....

If you're offended by harsh language DO NOT play

 

[monarch64]

1. Stop worrying about being the bad guy. People can tell you're thirsty to be liked and it's a turnoff. Divas DGAF. So what if you're "the bad guy?" Find people who appreciate that sort of strength and be friends with them.

2. Family members or friends making rude comments? Oh, my. They had better be perfect themselves, or they're getting an earful about ALL of their obvious flaws. Let it out. They might not like you, but they'll respect you for it. Bullies need to be called out, every time.

3. Be who you are, and don't ever apologize for it.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Divas don’t want to be ‘inner’. They want to run rampant, which is the best thing for them.