Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like?

[stepcutgirl]

I need a bit of advise. I had decided on a jazz type band for my wedding band and was all set to get it when I realized I've never asked his opinion on it. Turns out, he isn't a fan. He says it looks like bubbles. At first I felt like I could no longer get it as I want him to like my wedding band but the more I think about it, the more I think I should get what I like as I'm the one who will be looking at it the most. He said I should get what I want, not what he wants. I tend to think that I will indeed get what I like. But it made me wonder if any of you have a wedding ring that your husbands or fiance's don't like. Would you get what you liked if he didn't like it?

This is a cheapy I got to see if I liked the style so you can see.

 

[LGK]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I have definitely passed on jewelry before if DH didn't like it too. First of all, he has amazingly great taste and I trust him implicitly on that, and if he says it looks weird then 99% chance it does. And second of all he has to look at me, so he gets a say in most things like clothes, haircuts, tattooes etc. (But not always the final say, heh.) So while I hadn't specifically had this issue w/ a wedding ring, I had definitely crossed stuff off my possibilities list when I went to reset my e-ring if he didn't like it too. So I didn't actuallt vote, since it kind of depends.

In your case, I might just get it. I mean, he told you to get what you wanted, right? Maybe shop around a bit more and see if something else comes up that you both love, but if not then get the Jazz ring. Doesn't sound like he is feeling too strongly about it either way.

 

[lyra]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I have also passed on jewelry my DH said he didn't like. He's always fine when I say "I want to get *this* because it is (insert reason)". But if I say "Do you like this?" it can be a different story. I do admit that when I did my reset, I let him have a say. So I voted "maybe". I think you should be free to choose what you are going to be wearing for the next several decades though.

 

[atroop711]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

since I'm wearing it, I got what I liked. My husband and I have very different taste in jewelry. I personally think he's a bit tacky (I joke ) He's more of the solid metal type of guy and I'm more of a blingy type of girl...so I went with what I liked. Glad I did..I have to wear it

Turns out once my wedding ring was in and on my finger he said to me..you were right..it is beautiful on

 

[elrohwen]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Maybe if DH had great taste I would go with what he liked, but frankly, he doesn't care about jewelry at all and doesn't know what he likes and what he doesn't. If he didn't like something, there would probably be some passing small reason for it, while I would like it for some real tangible reason, if that makes any sense at all. Maybe if he really super hated it that would be one thing, but if he just disliked it, I'm sure his dislike would be nowhere near as strong as my like, so I would have no problem overruling his opinion.

 

[kittybean]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I would definitely go for the Jazz-type band in your case. I think the comment about bubbles is actually a compliment! That's what my wedding band looks like to me, and I love it. I'm guessing your DH will probably stop noticing it after a little while--as men are sometimes apt to do--and seeing how fabulous it looks with your e-ring, it might grow on him, too. Most importantly, you are the one who is going to see it all day, every day on your finger, and it should be something you love.

 

[kama_s]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I would definitely go for the Jazz-type band in your case. I think the comment about bubbles is actually a compliment! That's what my wedding band looks like to me, and I love it. I'm guessing your DH will probably stop noticing it after a little while--as men are sometimes apt to do--and seeing how fabulous it looks with your e-ring, it might grow on him, too. Most importantly, you are the one who is going to see it all day, every day on your finger, and it should be something you love.

Ditto this. FWIW: I LOVE that band and it looks fantastic with your e-ring.

 

[iheartscience]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I would absolutely get what I wanted. I'm the one who's going to wear it. I honestly don't care at all if my husband likes my clothes or jewelry, including my wedding band.

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

When we were buying our actual wedding bands (the gold rings we would exchange during our ceremony), I let him choose matching bands for the both of us because I wanted him to feel that he had an important part in the planning and that his wishes were respected. Also, when we got engaged I went with the setting (channel setting) that he liked the best. BUT..... down the road when it came a time to start buying some bling? Blingy anniversary bands, my eternity band, and other diamond jewelry? It was all my choice because like Annette mentioned, I was going to be the one wearing it.

So maybe you can compromise by having him choose the metal bands and you choose your diamond band. Its just a suggestion that worked for us.

 

[oranges]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I would absolutely get what I wanted. I'm the one who's going to wear it. I honestly don't care at all if my husband likes my clothes or jewelry, including my wedding band.

ditto--the ring is going to be on your hand for the rest of your life-- don't settle!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

If I was on the fence between two settings I might pick the one my husband liked better...but as for your situation, I think it would depend on two factors - how MUCH he disliked it vs how much I liked it. If it was like angels singing to me and he was like eh it's kinda ugly I'd get it. But if he was like oh horrors this is repulsive and I was like but it's pretty... I wouldn't.

 

[JSM]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I'm not sure if this would be an issue with us - he didn't even care what HIS wedding ring looked like, much less mine. If it was awful I'm sure he'd say something, but otherwise he is fine with me wearing whatever I want to wear.

If that is really your favorite band, then I say go for it - as long as your fiance doesn't REALLY hate it.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I really like that band. I bought DH a mens diamond ring and he wore it for a year before giving it back saying he doesn't like diamonds - hurt my feelings a lot I can understand him not wanting to wear my taste of ring that he doesn't like, but I think that since you're wearing the band then you should decide.

 

[stepcutgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Thanks for the comments. Fiancee has definitely not acted like it was the worst thing ever. As soon as he said he didn't like it I asked why and that's when it said because it looks like a bunch of bubbles connected and that he liked a straight band better. So I found a ring that was plain and paired it with it so it gave the appearance of a plain metal wedding band and he said he liked that best. I didn't like it as much as the diamond band. So I asked him if he could get used to it and he said of course, that it just wasn't his style.

So then...I paired the plain band, the ering and the jazz band together thinking ok, I can do one we both like and he said it looked gaudy! Then I got to thinking that I love the LM string theory band and it's a straight but still diamond band so I thought maybe that was an option. That will not be an option after a VERY ugly email conversation with Leon this afternoon, but I am getting a quote from another jeweler on something similar.

I do love love love the jazz band. So I'm pretty sure I'm going to get it!

 

[RhubarbPie]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I don't know if I'm allowed to ask, but why did you have a very ugly email conversation with Leon this afternoon? I've heard that he can be snippy. I have considered buying something from him in the future (including a wedding band), but I refuse to work with someone who feels he is holier-than-thou (especially when it involves thousands and thousands of my dollars). I hear people say that they are scared to contact him regarding jewelry in progress or things that they don't like about their finished pieces by him because they don't want to irritate him. For me, that kind of relationship just wouldn't work. Just curious what happened.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Yes... I actually find it odd when men even give a hoot what jewelry their wife wears

I see now that he supports you getting what you want. So no issue at all! Get what you want. Unless you are marrying Andre Leon Tally then your husband is most likely not the arbiter of jewelry taste And if you are marrying Andre Leon Tally then you may have other issues ahead

 

[Kaleigh]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Glad you are going for it. It sounds like your DH is fine with it. Not like he hates it or anything... My DH doesn't notice these kinds of things. I change up the wedding bands frequently, they are eternity bands. All that he has given me...He just notices the ering. I think he cares more about that!! Funny how men are.

But my point, is wear what you love.. Men get used to it.

 

[iheartscience]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Yes... I actually find it odd when men even give a hoot what jewelry their wife wears

I see now that he supports you getting what you want. So no issue at all! Get what you want. Unless you are marrying Andre Leon Tally then your husband is most likely not the arbiter of jewelry taste And if you are marrying Andre Leon Tally then you may have other issues ahead

SNORT! (And ditto finding it odd when men care at all about what jewelry their SOs wear! )

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Yes... I actually find it odd when men even give a hoot what jewelry their wife wears

I see now that he supports you getting what you want. So no issue at all! Get what you want. Unless you are marrying Andre Leon Tally then your husband is most likely not the arbiter of jewelry taste And if you are marrying Andre Leon Tally then you may have other issues ahead

lol Dreamer!

I would go with what you want. Since he doesn't HATE it or really oppose it strongly, I think it'll be fine. And I think that Jazz-style looks amazing with your e-ring!

 

[Imdanny]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Why no I would convince him to like it and then I would get it.

 

[stepcutgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I don't know if I'm allowed to ask, but why did you have a very ugly email conversation with Leon this afternoon? I've heard that he can be snippy. I have considered buying something from him in the future (including a wedding band), but I refuse to work with someone who feels he is holier-than-thou (especially when it involves thousands and thousands of my dollars). I hear people say that they are scared to contact him regarding jewelry in progress or things that they don't like about their finished pieces by him because they don't want to irritate him. For me, that kind of relationship just wouldn't work. Just curious what happened.

It went a little something like this...I emailed him this morning to ask him if he would consider doing a half or three quarter string theory band and if so what the cost would be. About three hours later I got this email back from him.

According to my records you asked me for quotes several times before.
A custom workshop like mine is not equipped with means to deal with people
who are “just shopping”.
I have to take my time away from the bench and possibly delay doing work for
customers on the waiting list to price quotes for casual shoppers like
yourself.

Regards,
Leon
8/25/2010 11:35:57 AM

At which point I responded with this

Leon,

You are partly correct, I have asked you for several quotes. I am now engaged and will be married in 4 months, so it's time to get a wedding ring. That entails me getting quotes to see what I can afford. I had narrowed it down to 2 rings and your string theory ring was one of the two. It appears you are much too busy with work to be bothered so I will not bother you again. I guess you would rather give your business away to other jewelers. That's exactly what letters like this do and I will be spreading the word to my PS friends.

In the time you took to write this letter you could have answered my question and possibly had a new customer. I should have known better. Your poor reputation precedes you.


Sincerely,
SCG

 

[RhubarbPie]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I don't know if I'm allowed to ask, but why did you have a very ugly email conversation with Leon this afternoon? I've heard that he can be snippy. I have considered buying something from him in the future (including a wedding band), but I refuse to work with someone who feels he is holier-than-thou (especially when it involves thousands and thousands of my dollars). I hear people say that they are scared to contact him regarding jewelry in progress or things that they don't like about their finished pieces by him because they don't want to irritate him. For me, that kind of relationship just wouldn't work. Just curious what happened.

It went a little something like this...I emailed him this morning to ask him if he would consider doing a half or three quarter string theory band and if so what the cost would be. About three hours later I got this email back from him.

According to my records you asked me for quotes several times before.
A custom workshop like mine is not equipped with means to deal with people
who are “just shopping”.
I have to take my time away from the bench and possibly delay doing work for
customers on the waiting list to price quotes for casual shoppers like
yourself.

Regards,
Leon
8/25/2010 11:35:57 AM

At which point I responded with this

Leon,

You are partly correct, I have asked you for several quotes. I am now engaged and will be married in 4 months, so it's time to get a wedding ring. That entails me getting quotes to see what I can afford. I had narrowed it down to 2 rings and your string theory ring was one of the two. It appears you are much too busy with work to be bothered so I will not bother you again. I guess you would rather give your business away to other jewelers. That's exactly what letters like this do and I will be spreading the word to my PS friends.

In the time you took to write this letter you could have answered my question and possibly had a new customer. I should have known better. Your poor reputation precedes you.


Sincerely,
SCG

This is completely unacceptable to me. I'm glad you won't be giving him business. Everytime I read something like this about LM it makes me sure that I will never employ (and that is what you are doing...employing him to provide a service) Leon Mege to do any custom work for me. I am an artist so I understand that art is a different kind of employment than say hiring someone to clean your house or something. However when someone hires me, they pay a great deal of money for a service, and while I may not agree sometimes with their choices, they are the ones who are paying me and thus I do what they would like. If there is TRULY a conflict of interest and/or time, I respectfully decline and ask if I can recommend someone else to them to provide whatever service they are looking for.

Thats just gross to me. He may be a talented jeweler, but there are many talented jewelers out there and I'd rather give my money to someone who truly would like to work for me.

Edit: does he ever post on PS? I'd be so interested to hear what he has to say in his defense.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

No, I wouldn't get a wedding ring my theoretical DH didn't like, specially if he expressed the feeling. There are 2 reasons, one sentimental and one pratical. The sentimental is that the band represents the marriage and is the main piece of jewelry for a married woman. The pratical is that, just as I would wear it every day, he would have to see it every day too. I want him to enjoy looking at me!

I think there is plenty of room for a compromise and to find a ring that both like, as I also wouldn't wear something I disliked just to please him.

StepCutGirl - I thought that the string theory line was suposed to be aimed at a more retail market. As such, you shouldn't even have to ask for a quote, as it would have a price.

I find Leon's quote police very odd. Even if he does focus on selling to jewelry houses, I can't imagine they give him carte blanche on price to the point where they accept whatever quote he gives them. Does he drop these clients as well?

 

[lyra]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Oh for pete's sake, can't the man hire someone to answer email or at least send out the generic "Your question will be answered within 48 hours, here are the FAQs" just like every other business? Or post prices on his website. Or make his website more easy to use.... sigh. I guess the recession never hit his business like everyone else's.

 

[arjunajane]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Oh for pete's sake, can't the man hire someone to answer email or at least send out the generic "Your question will be answered within 48 hours, here are the FAQs" just like every other business? Or post prices on his website. Or make his website more easy to use.... sigh. I guess the recession never hit his business like everyone else's.

I agree lyra - that is what would make sense
But I have a strong suspicion he likes to send out emails like this when given the chance


To answer the original question, my Fi doesn't have many strong opinions on jewellery. If he had a valid criticism, like he thought it didn't suit my hand, I would take it under consideration. But otherwise no, I don't worry too much what he will or won't like with jewellery.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Oh for pete's sake, can't the man hire someone to answer email or at least send out the generic "Your question will be answered within 48 hours, here are the FAQs" just like every other business? Or post prices on his website. Or make his website more easy to use.... sigh. I guess the recession never hit his business like everyone else's.

One of the great mysteries of the world: How that man continues to have a thriving business. I swear he must have serious contracts with the trade where he stocks them with pieces. Because his actual customer interactions are so wonky.

For the record I would get a Leon piece. But I'd pay extra to have it done through another jeweler. I'd call BGD and say, "Lesley, I never want to talk to that man, but I want this piece, can you facilitate and I will pay you for it." Before I ever had to deal with him in person again. My interactions with him FOUR YEARS AGO were enough to confirm for me that I will never be able to work with the man.

 

[marcy]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I think the ring is lovely but it would bother me if my husband didn't like my wedding ring. Other rings or pieces of jewelry not so much but my wedding ring would make a difference. I would continue to look for something we both like.

As for Leon, thanks for telling us - I wouldn't "bother" to give him my business with an attitude like that.

 

[Fly Girl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

We shopped for our wedding bands together, and chose rings that we both liked. Hopefully, he will be looking at you for many years to come, and I think he should have a say in this very important piece of jewelry. Now, I have purchased many other pieces of jewelry without consulting him, but that came later.

 

[Autumnovember]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

WOW to Leon's response to you. Just WOW.


Get what you love My fiance doesn't always like the things I pick out for myself but after wearing the pieces for some time he usually always comes through and ends up appreciating it for the same reasons I did in the first place

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

LOL at the Leon e-mail. We have seen much much worse (search for threads by Boom to see some doozies, offering condolences to her husband for putting up with her, for example ). You really should post it in RT in its own thread because it is a consumer experience that deserves to be seen so that future consumers are informed. You will of course get many Leon lovers piling on their compliments and alternative experiences and potentially even excusing him because we just don't get his humour, but that is fine, full dislosure is always the best policy good or bad I think.