Ladies,sometimes i feel sorry for your DH...

[Dancing Fire]

Upgrade this, upgrade that. Spent thousands of $$$ on a custom setting and then get tire of it after a few months... ..don't you feel sorry for him?..

 

[baby monster]

That's kinda silly. I work and contribute half of family budget. He has his expensive hobbies that I don't appreciate.

 

[Harpertoo]

Don't. I think I spend less than 50% of his classic car budget on jewelry.
(Maybe we all just talk about it more! )

 

[ame]

Well, I don't exactly fall under that description. My upgrade came at the hands of a theft. I am not someone who really does a lot of looking for myself, nor do I have big plans for an upgrade or whatever but we have had to deal with setting drama and wedding band drama. Thankfully that's mostly put to bed. I haven't figured out how to handle my ering setting, and for now it's stable. I don't wear them enough right now to justify the reset into a safer setting anyway.

I just bought myself some studs, after returning a pair I never wore, and I hope these get more wear. But I contribute a lot to the budget, and also work my side business as well.

His hobbies are mostly cheaper than this one, anyway. Except one. He just doesn't indulge that one much.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I'm his sugar mama, so he is willing to make me happy with any upgrade I want. This year it's a new car, no jewelry

 

[kenny]

All these ladies should have married me.
Without being asked I upgraded my SO's diamond more than once.
He's on this third.

Maybe I'll take back-up applications in case my SO gets old and ugly.

 

[Rhea]

All these ladies should have married me.
Without being asked I upgraded my SO's diamond more than once.
He's on this third.

Maybe I'll take back-up applications in case my SO gets old and ugly.

Just let me know what information you need on that application!

 

[Rhea]

Not really. I've never upgraded my engagement ring though I have acquired other wedding bands. My husband has his expensive hobbies too, we just don't discuss them here.

 

[ame]

All these ladies should have married me.
Without being asked I upgraded my SO's diamond more than once.
He's on this third.

Maybe I'll take back-up applications in case my SO gets old and ugly.

Seriously, I'll be in line. DH wants to move to California so bad he can't stand it.

 

[SB621]

I'm his sugar mama, so he is willing to make me happy with any upgrade I want. This year it's a new car, no jewelry

Yup this! I double what my husband brings home so really he has no room to complain about my purchases as long as it doesn't put us in the poor house. Besides I deserve pretty things for putting up with his morning mood swings!

 

[GemFever]

mmmm yeah, I feel kinda bad My DH doesn't have any expensive hobbies except eating out all the time. He's such a sweetie to put up with me and my endless upgrades!

 

[iluvshinythings]

I contribute more than half of the income and his hobbies aren't exactly cheap. I don't feel bad at all.

I actually just had this conversation with a co-worker. He bought a new Harley a while back and he's whining because his wife wants a new sparkly.

 

[chrono]

I have my own bling budget from my work income so there's no need to be sorry for him. I don't do setting upgrades or changes though, which is why it takes me months to years to decide what I really want.

 

[pregcurious]

I have my own bling budget from my work income so there's no need to be sorry for him.

Ditto. Plus, I'm the sugar mama.

 

[packrat]

Oh GAWD no. Feel sorry for ME when I'm picking up his dirty qtips. And his socks that he can't ever seem to figure out where they go when he takes them off. And his Kleenexes when he's soooooo siiiiiiickkkk he can't mooooove ohhhh nobody's eeeever been soooo sick before...and putting his 47 pairs of shoes away b/c opening the closet door 3 inches from where he took them off is so complex. And checking 22 different places for his dirty clothes when I want to do laundry. And smiling and waving to him when *he* gets to go on vacation w/his pals and my last vacation was February 2003. Or staying home to clean and be w/the kids and make supper while he's off hunting. And the projects that don't get done around here b/c *his* hobbies *always* come first.

There should be no sympathy for the man. Sorry, not sorry.

 

[armywife13]

I do not feel guilty, though I do not upgrade often. We both have hobbies and let the other enjoy those hobbies, regardless of who's is more expensive. Sometimes the hobby he spends money on is more expensive than mine, sometimes mine is more expensive than his. It doesn't matter to either of us, it is the enjoyment factor that matters.

The subject of who makes more money has been brought up in this thread. I will say, in my opinion, it does not matter who contributes more financially to the household when it comes to justifying spending. There have been times when I worked and contributed financially, and there are times (now) where I am staying at home with our two young children. The fact that I do or do not work has never been a justification for spending or not spending. Regardless of who makes more, in our household, it does not give one person more say when it comes to purchases, or free will to spend more and expect the other person to not complain.

 

[missy]

Don't feel sorry for my dh DF. He's very happy and not feeling sorry about any of my upgrades etc. He's very happy when I am very happy and vice versa. No worries here.

 

[missy]

I do not feel guilty, though I do not upgrade often. We both have hobbies and let the other enjoy those hobbies, regardless of who's is more expensive. Sometimes the hobby he spends money on is more expensive than mine, sometimes mine is more expensive than his. It doesn't matter to either of us, it is the enjoyment factor that matters.

The subject of who makes more money has been brought up in this thread. I will say, in my opinion, it does not matter who contributes more financially to the household when it comes to justifying spending. There have been times when I worked and contributed financially, and there are times (now) where I am staying at home with our two young children. The fact that I do or do not work has never been a justification for spending or not spending. Regardless of who makes more, in our household, it does not give one person more say when it comes to purchases, or free will to spend more and expect the other person to not complain.

I agree with this. It's all our money. Not his and hers. We share our lives and everything that comes with it.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My DH told me many years ago, "You should have every beautiful thing you've ever wanted". And while he doesn't need to "supply" me with every beautiful thing, I appreciate that he is sincere, shares, and doesn't begrudge. There is no "tit for tat" in our household.

The recurring theme here is that we all work hard for what we have. No guilt, therefore no reason to be nor feel "sorry".

cheers--Sharon

 

[missy]

HI:

My DH told me many years ago, "You should have every beautiful thing you've ever wanted". And while he doesn't need to "supply" me with every beautiful thing, I appreciate that he is sincere, shares, and doesn't begrudge. There is no "tit for tat" in our household.

The recurring theme here is that we all work hard for what we have. No guilt, therefore no reason to be nor feel "sorry".

cheers--Sharon

Aww, that is so sweet and romantic Sharon!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My DH told me many years ago, "You should have every beautiful thing you've ever wanted". And while he doesn't need to "supply" me with every beautiful thing, I appreciate that he is sincere, shares, and doesn't begrudge. There is no "tit for tat" in our household.

The recurring theme here is that we all work hard for what we have. No guilt, therefore no reason to be nor feel "sorry".

cheers--Sharon

Aww, that is so sweet and romantic Sharon!

Marriage is full of pleasant surprises Missy!

 

[luv2sparkle]

I upgraded after 30 years of service! I don't feel a bit bad. Considering our whole engagement fiasco, he kinda 'owed' me.

 

[canuk-gal]

I upgraded after 30 years of service! I don't feel a bit bad. Considering our whole engagement fiasco, he kinda 'owed' me.

Is there a story here about your" fiasco"? Care to share?

 

[pregcurious]

I upgraded after 30 years of service! I don't feel a bit bad. Considering our whole engagement fiasco, he kinda 'owed' me.

I bet many of us upgraders have stories. Mine was after 15 years. He's happy I am happy. Nice husband.

 

[Laila619]

LOL, I do see your point, DF. PSers are a fickle bunch. There are some ladies who literally have $$ settings for a few weeks/months and then they get rid of them.

In my case, I have wasted a lot of money over the years. Since DH is the only one who works, technically it's "his" money. However, he's in this boat because he didn't give me any input on my original e-ring, so he really has no one to blame but himself.

 

[canuk-gal]

I upgraded after 30 years of service! I don't feel a bit bad. Considering our whole engagement fiasco, he kinda 'owed' me.

I bet many of us upgraders have stories. Mine was after 15 years. He's happy I am happy. Nice husband.

Care to make a "new thread" about this? All in good fun?

 

[livannie]

I feel sorry for my husband and then when I am home by myself taking care of the kids, cleaning, cooking and don't really ever have time for myself, finding white hairs from listening to my kids screaming and fighting, I realize once in a while I need to do something for me. I am so grateful I can stay home with my kids and I have a great husband and he is totally fine with my hobby. He understands how I feel and I am really lucky to have him.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Luckily for me she does not know much about jewelry.

 

[Circe]

I do not feel guilty, though I do not upgrade often. We both have hobbies and let the other enjoy those hobbies, regardless of who's is more expensive. Sometimes the hobby he spends money on is more expensive than mine, sometimes mine is more expensive than his. It doesn't matter to either of us, it is the enjoyment factor that matters.

The subject of who makes more money has been brought up in this thread. I will say, in my opinion, it does not matter who contributes more financially to the household when it comes to justifying spending. There have been times when I worked and contributed financially, and there are times (now) where I am staying at home with our two young children. The fact that I do or do not work has never been a justification for spending or not spending. Regardless of who makes more, in our household, it does not give one person more say when it comes to purchases, or free will to spend more and expect the other person to not complain.

Beautifully said.

It took me a long time to come to that - when we got married, I was the one pushing for a prenup, because I didn't want anybody to ever think I'd benefited financially from our union (which, a) I was a humanities Ph.D. in academia and he was a sciences Ph.D. in academia ... we're not talking a huge discrepancy here, and, b), speaks to the internalized misogyny that can shoot the feminist movement in the ass on occasion). It took my husband two or three years to convince me that it was all OUR money, a position he's held to as he's moved out of academia and into the more lucrative world of business.

So, nope, no pity here, just some genuine gratitude to have found such a well adjusted human being to partner with.

Now, on the other hand, I TOTALLY feel pity for him for his inability to appreciate the beauty of gems, metalwork, enamel, etc. Maybe I'm contagious?

 

[NOYFB]

Considering he owns the equivalent of a mini Guitar Center, you have absolutely no reason to feel sorry for him.