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Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his money?

Dancing Fire

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Is she still happy with her marriage?
 

manderz

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

Nope. That doesn't happen much around my area, because... well, there's just not that kind of money.
 

stracci2000

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

manderz|1446937996|3946802 said:
Nope. That doesn't happen much around my area, because... well, there's just not that kind of money.
I agree. My girlfriends and I never knew anyone who was wealthy. I grew up in a steel town. No one had any real money. Now that I'm older, I know a few, but they're taken!
 

missy

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

Not a friend but a friend of a friend and I knew her. I cannot be sure of course but according to my friend this person did marry her husband for the life he could provide i.e. money and he is a well off surgeon. However the marriage lasted less than a couple of years (she wanted out) and she has been single since (over a decade or so now) and according to my friend she is happy.

And as a funny coincidence I actually dated this surgeon for a few months when I was in my twenties. Small world in NYC LOL. He was nice enough but not for me.

I agree with the saying that if you marry for money you will pay for it for your whole life. Fortunately for her she got out and is now much happier. Money cannot buy happiness if you are spending your life with someone you don't love.


Of course then there is the saying that it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man. :cheeky:
 

Asscherhalo_lover

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

None of my friends yet. We do have one who's trying but it's actually pretty hard to accomplish and subsequently she's still single. We are in the just about 30 age range. All of my other friends (myself included) are generally married to relatively equal partners in terms of education and income. If anything, a lot of the women actually make more than their husbands.
 

madelise

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

Asscherhalo_lover|1446988685|3946984 said:
None of my friends yet. We do have one who's trying but it's actually pretty hard to accomplish and subsequently she's still single. We are in the just about 30 age range. All of my other friends (myself included) are generally married to relatively equal partners in terms of education and income. If anything, a lot of the women actually make more than their husbands.

Yeah. I only like dating people who are either self-made brilliant or educated, too. I need someone to debate with, and to keep my mind sharp with! Brilliance and/or education usually are correlated with higher income. Not the sole causation, sure, but correlated.

I also have a few friends that insist on richer men, and are still single. They find one who fits the bill, they date, then they end.

Current SO isn't rich by all means, but he isn't poor. He does fairly well for a man his age, and in his industry. He sorta "hid" his money from me initially, and shared with me that it was the biggest positive thing when I didn't ask him his annual income or ask too many questions about his job. Apparently women do this often on initial dates, and he red-flags that behavior. I imagine if any man were truly rich, he would have reservations about women being with him for the wrong reasons as well.


Re: the "luckily she left him" in response to Missy-- she may be swimming in alimony, thus making her stint with the surgeon "worth it"! Hence her current singledom!
 

MollyMalone

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

The only such scenario I personally know of is because the husband is a friend from childhood who married the woman when they were in their mid-30's & his business ventures were already a roaring success (plus, he inherited some wealth shortly after they met).

Years later, she still seems quite content; it's he who deeply regrets not realizing, before the wedding, that she was-is a "gold digger."
 

Calliecake

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

No and I can't imagine that ever working out for any length of time. What a sad life that would be!
 

momhappy

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

I don't know anyone personally.
I would think that it could work for some folks and I don't necessarily think that it would be a sad life. I think that if both parties were fine with it, and had some sort of arrangement, then I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be any less successful than marrying for love.
 

missy

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

madelise|1446996618|3947012 said:
Asscherhalo_lover|1446988685|3946984 said:
None of my friends yet. We do have one who's trying but it's actually pretty hard to accomplish and subsequently she's still single. We are in the just about 30 age range. All of my other friends (myself included) are generally married to relatively equal partners in terms of education and income. If anything, a lot of the women actually make more than their husbands.

Yeah. I only like dating people who are either self-made brilliant or educated, too. I need someone to debate with, and to keep my mind sharp with! Brilliance and/or education usually are correlated with higher income. Not the sole causation, sure, but correlated.

I also have a few friends that insist on richer men, and are still single. They find one who fits the bill, they date, then they end.

Current SO isn't rich by all means, but he isn't poor. He does fairly well for a man his age, and in his industry. He sorta "hid" his money from me initially, and shared with me that it was the biggest positive thing when I didn't ask him his annual income or ask too many questions about his job. Apparently women do this often on initial dates, and he red-flags that behavior. I imagine if any man were truly rich, he would have reservations about women being with him for the wrong reasons as well.


Re: the "luckily she left him" in response to Missy-- she may be swimming in alimony, thus making her stint with the surgeon "worth it"! Hence her current singledom!

Hi Madelise! Glad to hear you are doing well!

Re alimony for the friend of my friend... there was an ironclad premarital contract so she did not collect any alimony. And they were married for such a short time anyway I wonder if she would have been able to even if the contract was not in place. She does very well for herself anyway money wise so though she is not wealthy she is not lacking for anything as she has a nice career.

When my dh and I were dating I had NO clue what he earned. Maybe I was naive or stupid but I didn't even think about it. I knew he was comfortable enough just like I was comfortable enough re money but never gave the amount a thought. When we became engaged he shared that number with me (even then I didn't think to ask) and it was a pleasant surprise but nothing that would have been a deal breaker for me either way. Honestly it never had any bearing whatsoever when I was dating someone. As long as they were smart and engaging and fun and funny and I found them attractive and we got each other that was all that mattered. Period.
 

partgypsy

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

According to my aunt and uncle, my cousin's first wife was a "gold digger" they said a lot of mean things about her. They are divorced, and my cousin is remarried. I still think it's sad because they had a child together.

A friend's sister supposedly married for money. I haven't kept up on whether they are still married or not, but she used the ability to not have to worry about money to focus on her hobby and was a co-host for a reality tv show for awhile.

In both cases the wife would be considered a "looker" (good looking).

I remember I don't know, high school or so age (a few females together and the question was whether we would marry for love or money. We all said love, except 1 woman, who said she wanted and intended to marry for money, so she could pursue her love of opera singing. I remember being a little shocked at someone being so honest about it. Unfortunately I don't think that ever happened for her (she was single with a large circle of friends, and passed away recently).
 

iluvshinythings

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

A family member of mine married a widower for money. She wasn't even smart about it. He's a trust-fund baby so he doesn't have 100% control of his money and he had her sign a pre-nup (favorable to him) before they married. If they divorce she gets $250k. If he dies she gets to live in his house until she dies and $250k. He's never been in good health so she's been taking care of him the whole time. (They were both in their 60's when they married). His children from his former marriage have made her life hell but I think they should be thanking her for her service. It would have been a lot more than $250k for 24/7 nursing care. She's been whining and crying to try and get him to change his will but he keeps "getting distracted". They've been married over ten years now and she hasn't had anything nice to say about him for at least eight.

She has relatively nice things. Designer clothes, a nice car and a rolex. He bought her a nice 2 ct engagement ring but it was stolen and it wasn't insured and he won't replace it "because she shouldn't have been so careless". They go on nice trips but she comes home from every trip exhausted and full of stories about what a jerk/alcoholic he is.
 

Rhea

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

I don't know anyone with that type of money. I'm not in that type of social circle. I also don't know anyone who married other than when young and poor. I'm sure it must happen but it seems like something from the movies.

My sister's ex-fiancé's family thought my sister was marrying him for the money but he didn't actually make that much in the grand scheme of things. Plus the expectation that she work, albeit at a lower wage, and be the primary carer of the house, social events, and any children, counts for something in my book. She should have demanded a wage if he demanded a pre-nup because the expectations regarding household maintenance and childcare were a hindrance on progression of her career and earning potential.
 

Jambalaya

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

There's a flip side to all this though, isn't there? Mainly that very rich men want their gold-diggers beautiful, younger, and immune to weight gain. Years ago I did hear a woman at work state quite seriously that she wanted a man with money, and I remember being really shocked and disgusted. She was also one of the plainest women I'd ever seen so I doubt that plan worked out for her. In "normal" love, looks don't matter, but if you're going to organize your love life like it's a transaction, and live by those appalling rules, then you'd better bring your beauty and fertility in exchange for the money!

I don't know anyone who married for money, but I do know someone who has been with her lover for thirteen years for money. They are not engaged or married, and he is a caretaker for his elderly father but he made a lot of money earlier in his life - multiple paid-off properties, lots of money still coming in. Anyway, this friend does not love him, which is why she won't even move in with him. She has no time for his elderly father and doesn't want to live in the same house as him. However, she likes all the holidays, meals out, and potential safety net. She says their sex life is crap because he has a really low sex drive, and I've met him, and personally I find him an arrogant pig. But he genuinely loves her and would have married her years ago. I think she'll probably marry him when his father dies. Ahh, romance! She hangs on because she doesn't think she'll find anyone else with money, and she's probably right - she is not a nice person and her youth is long gone, along with the small amount of looks she once had. Sorry, but I can't stand this person.

I have two other friends who declared they would love a man with money - and one comes from money herself - and then both of them cheerfully married and had kids with men who earned very little. They are very happy today.

I've heard women talk about wanting to marry a rich man, but I don't know anyone who has actually gone through with it. Except a distant acquaintance who was a secretary and married a guy who had made a lot of money in computers, and she is reputed to be very fond of money. Still, they are equals in terms of age, looks, personalities etc, so maybe she would have married him anyway. Who knows - you really can't prove this sort of thing.

Everyone think that Kate Middleton married for money, of course. I feel a bit sorry for her that people will always think that of her. But William seems really nice and has similar sporty interests as Kate, so if he had been plain old Billy Jones and they met at college, they might well still have ended up together.
 

momhappy

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

^Hmmmmm... :think: I find it interesting that you said in "normal" love, looks don't matter. That makes me think of the school of thought that once you're married, you can let yourself go.... I think that while looks might not be the primary focus in a relationship built on genuine love, looks still matter to some degree because there was/is some sort of physical attraction there. As we age, looks get more & more difficult to maintain, but I would hope that my spouse appreciates the effort that I put into my physical appearance because even if he doesn't care what I look like (and I'm sure that he does to some degree), I sure do ;-)
 

Jambalaya

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

Agree with all that, Momhappy. I was just writing in shorthand because we can't qualify everything we say or we'd be writing reams. I just meant to express that where it's not a trophy-wife setup, looks are not the most important thing in the longterm.
 

partgypsy

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

I don't know if I would say looks don't matter in "normal" love. I think in addition to compatibility and shared values there also needs to be a spark or physical attraction to that person. And I would hope a partner doesn't feel he/she can let yourself "go" just because married. It's an ongoing thing, and I want me and my family to be healthy and happy in the long term, whether that is doing enriching activities, exercise and physical activities, and good diet. Investing in those things reaps many rewards. I remember talking to one schoolmate's Dad who was a desk jockey and he had arms skinnier and flabbier than mine (and I have skinny arms!) While I don't agree with having unrealistic standards for trophy wife (hell everyone ages, it is a fact of life) I do feel just because you are married you don't give up on those things.
 

Jambalaya

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

I agree. As I already said above, I was making a distinction between two opposites, not discussing the finer points of each opposite.
 

Sky56

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Re: Ladies, Any of your friends married the guy for his mone

No, I personally don't know anyone like that, though I heard a few stories.

An "opposite" story with a couple I know. The woman was a very wealthy heiress but looked and acted like everybody else. She had a good life, but lived in a modest place in a middle class neighborhood. No fancy cars or clothes. She met a man who did manual labor, they fell in love and later married. She told him the truth of her situation only many months after they were a solid couple with plans for the future. They are together decades later and are happy.
 
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