kinda sad and need to whine

[MelissaSue]

Hey all.. as I''ve mentioned a few times before, my best friend is getting married April 2nd. I knew she was moving about 2 hours away right after she got married, but she just called me and told me she is actually moving now two weeks BEFORE her wedding and just coming home to stay with her parents the week before the wedding. Its not that the extra two weeks she is moving away that makes me sad.. Its just sort of REAL now, that theres a date and an apartment she''ll be moving into and stuff. I knew I''d be really really sad when the time came.. but I was sort of not thinking about it.. since there are lots of other things to think about for her wedding and my wedding and stuff.. But it just sort of hit me now.

This is kind of a stinky part about growing up.. Even when I went away to college I was only an hour away and we saw each other all the time. I literally have NO other close friends left in the area. Just work friends, and one college friend that I don''t talk to very often are still local. So.. I''m really kind of bummed out, and don''t know what I''m gonna do. I mean its not like we spent every day together.. really since we both started dating our fiance''s 3 years ago, we''ve seen each other once or twice a month on average.. but still..

I don''t really know what my point is.. I just needed to whine..

 

[HOUMedGal]

It''s OK, Mel...that''s what the LIW''s are here for...so we all have some other gals to whine to!

Don''t worry, all this means is that you will both have to put forth a little more effort to maintain your friendship long-distance. And if you''re as good of friends as it sounds like you are, that won''t be hard at all!

 

[allycat0303]

MelissaSue: Hugs! That is sad. I guess it''s just the way life changes as you grow older. I am sure that you will be able to maintain your relationship despite the distance between you two. We''re all here for you.

 

[snow_happy]

Hey Melissa,

I''m sorry that this caught you off guard

One of my best friends just moved about 6 hours away and it''s hard to know that I can''t just run over to her apartment and hang out... BUT when we do see each other we feel like we can splurge and go to spas and salons and stuff. I still get sad when she leaves but at least she is healthy and safe so we can see each other again soon.

Hope you are feeling better

 

[fountainfairfax]

Melissa-

I''m really sorry to hear about your friend''s move- it really is true that as people get older it does become more difficult to make friends and bond with people so I understand your sadness...to give you a little bit of a happy spin, however, at the end of college my best friend moved back to her hometown 2 hrs away and I thought I''d lose my mind! It turns out that about one hour away from each of us was an outlet center so we started meeting there once a month for a day of shopping, dinner & girl stuff. She missed our old college town (Tempe AZ) and I grew to love her town (Tuscon) so we started alternating girls weekends- one month I''d go stay with her & her hubby, then she''d come stay with us the next month. I really grew to look forward to those weekends! We were both able to help plan each other''s weddings, we joined each other for dress shopping and all the other wedding stuff.

After my divorce I moved back to NY (she & hubby actually took me in while I was going through the whole divorce process) and we eventually lost touch..which I now regret.

It''s normal to feel that sadness and loss- just remember with a little effort the friendship will be maintained & you may have a lot of fun doing it! Good luck and feel free to whine away whenever needed!

 

[icekid]

hey MS.... i definitely hear you! as someone who has practically made a career of making friends and then leaving them, it can be really tough! my best friends from college live in: st. louis, west virginia, atlanta, and north carolina. ACK. just remember you can ALWAYS call, and honestly 2 hours isn''t bad at all!!

but it is rather depressing to grow up sometimes... my best friend from HS because a nutcase and i don''t speak to her at all anymore. i still miss her, oh well. i really don''t have ANY close friends in buffalo anymore.. outside of family at least, and i consider my brother''s gf family too and i am close with her.

but anyway, what i should say is these long distance friendships are what you make of them. just like a relationship really- they become more effort, but it''s still so worth it! it''s weird sometimes... we''re all busy in various stages of professional or grad school, and sometimes we only get to talk once or twice/month. and these are people i used to eat dinner with everyday; hang out with everyday! but when we DO get to talk, we never miss a beat. the transitions are tough... but soon you''ll settle into a nice routine. you can stay close and in touch! it just takes some effort. try not to be too sad... i promise it will work out!

 

[eks6426]

As a kid, I moved a lot...13 times in 11 years. The amazing thing is I still have friends from most of the places I lived. One of my best friends I met when I was 7...I moved away at 9 and today I am 33 and we are still friends. With email and cell phones staying in touch is easier than ever. But I know you''re sad that you just can''t bop over to see her.....it''s one of those changes in life. Meanwhile, get out and make some new friends. It''s easy to get wrapped up in spending most of your time with your fiance but you both need your own friends too.

 

[MelissaSue]

thanks for all the kind words girls. I know that we will be able to maintain our friendship, of all my friends, I think that she is the one who has been through the most and changed the most and we''ve always remained friends even though it caused me a couple years of major worry and heartache. So you girls are right that a couple hour drive isn''t going to come between us.

I have one friend who moved away for college and basically never came back.. I''ve only seen her a handful of times since sophomore year of college. (that was like 5 years ago). I still feel just as close to her, because we have manage to keep in touch. That is LARGELY due to the internet though. I can just shoot her off an email or an instant message whenever I have a second.

because alternately.. i have a friend from college who I felt would be my friend FOREVER.. but we lost touch after she dropped out of college at the end of sophomore year. we stayed in touch for probably like 6 months, she visited me 3 or 4 times.. She actually went on my fiance and my first date with me because she was visiting from out of town!! She doesn''t have the internet, and she lived with her mom and didn''t like calling long distance on her moms phone, so if I wanted to talk to her, I had to call her. I don''t know exactly what happened... but I haven''t seen her in 3 years.. and probably haven''t even talked to her in close to that. Its funny, because I still consider her one of my best fiends, because she and I got along SOO welll. We were total OPPOSITES, but for some reason we just complimented each other. If I ran into her on the street toDAY I would ask her to be in my wedding. I just don''t really know how to contact her anymore. I keep her mothers phone number in my phone, but I doubt she lives there anymore.. and am always too nervous to call her mom and ask her. I always say I''m going to send a letter to her moms house and hopes it finds her, but I never get around to it.. maybe today is the day for that.

Ahh. I''m babbling. But I feel better now. Thanks again girls. YOu''re all way too sweet!! When I whine to my FI he just says.. "Well my best friend lives in Los Angeles.." which is sad for him.. but all they ever did was play computer games over the internet together anyway.. so they can do that just as easily on opposite coasts!.. But no.. you girls know what I mean. You are much better at making me feel better than he is sometimes!!

 

[MelissaSue]

hey girls thanks! You all got me to thinking and I just put a note in the mail to my long lost college friend!! Thanks for the inspiration! I hope it works out!

 

[Croí]

aaaw hon, don''t be sad. all the girls are right, you''ll stay great friends if you both just put in a little effort.

I have lost at least half a dozen ''best'' friends due to circumstances but life is funny and things have a way of working out/coming round.
When I was young I had one best friend who lived down the road from us. We stayed pals all through school, then I moved to the U.S. and she to Belfast. We didn''t see each other for probably eight to ten years ! She is going to be here tomorrow !! Last September I was home with Peter and it turned out that she had moved back from Belfast. We met up and (as someone already said) picked up as though we''d only seen each other the previous weekend. As luck would have it she took a job for a U.S. firm and has to come stateside a few times a year. She was over to us in October. Then I was home in January we met up again and I told her about our engagement and now she''s here with work and will be visiting with us over the weekend and then (wonderful girl that she is!) will be taking home some wedding stuff for me next week.

So it''s worked out AMAZING. I finally find the right guy and my life starts coming together and this wonderful friend comes right back into it !

so chin up m''dear - I see only sunny days ahead ........

C

 

[MelissaSue]

Croi - You are right, and honestly, my best friends move is most likely not permanent. Her soon-to-be fiance is newly a state trooper. I think he finished the academy last June, so he pretty much has to go whereever they tell him to. I think that this location is his first "offical" post, he has previously just been in training or whatever..I think he is eligigible for a transfer every six months, and their goal is to get back closer to here (both of their families are here). They still won''t be next door, but it will eventually be more like a 45min- 1 hour drive rather than two hours. I am feeling much better today about it.. I was just sad last night because i realized that it was actually HAPPENING.. you know?
But thank you for all the encouragement. I know everything is going to work out.

 

[JCJD]

I hear you Melissa, and I''m glad you''re feeling better!!

My sister just decided to move across town, closer to her workplace, at the end of this month. Previously, we shared an apartment together, and now we''re in the same apartment building but on different floors, so I could just walk over to her room or now I can walk down the stairs to her apartment to chat or steal a shirt or something. It''s going to be more of a production to go see her than it has been, and it makes me sad too.

 

[MelissaSue]

Sorry to hear about your sister moving JC. That will take some getting used to. But i just wanted to share with you girls something that totally made my day..
So I sent out the letter to my college friend, which made me feel good about myself in taking a step in getting back in touch with her,

but then when the mail came I just went out to get it and right on top was a card addressed to me! And it was from my friend who was a co-worker of mine who moved to North Carolina in November! I hadn''t heard from her since she moved and was starting to think that I wasn''t going to. I had given her my address, but she didn''t know hers before she moved, or just ever left it at work for us. Her parents still come into the restaurant occassionaly and I had given her mom my address a month or two ago and I never heard anything back from her, so I was really starting ot lose hope of ever hearing from her again. And with my friend moving.. she was sort of on my mind today anyway. But today I got a note from her and she sent a picture of her baby and it made me SOOO Happy. I was sobbing.. blubbering like a baby. Its funny how these things happen just when we really need them to, isn''t it??

 

[blue_chica]

What great timing MS, I''m so happy for you that that card came at just the right time.

 

[MelissaSue]

!!! So you know how I sent the letter to my friend yesterday??? !!! Well she only lives about a 1.5 hour drive away, so i sort of forgot how fast mail would go through!! She called me tonight!!! I was sooo exicted! She is EXACTLY the same as ever. She is still living at home and working the same two jobs she was working at the last time I talked to her!! I think I have you girls to thank for inspiring me to get back in touch!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!