Kids'' birthday parties

[zoebartlett]

When did you begin to have children's birthday parties? We recently went to a friend's house for her two year old's birthday party. We also went to his birthday party last year. My friend had invited her family, her husband's family, their friends (with their spouses and kids, and like us, those without kids yet), and her nanny, the nanny's husband plus their two kids, and a neighbor or two . Last year they had party hats, noise makers, balloons, camera flashes going like crazy, lunch food, muchies, cupcakes, and ice cream. This year, my friends realized that it was a bit much, so they scaled down the party somewhat. No hats or noise makers, just balloons and munchies only (and cake and ice cream). While my friend looked a lot less stressed than she did last year, I wonder why couples have such big parties for their little, little kids. It can't be for the kids' benefit. I just felt so bad for the birthday boy, who was so overstimulated he began to have a few melt downs. He was even put in time out for not sharing his new toys.

Can someone please enlighten me? Why do this?

 

[Haven]

I can''t answer why people do this because I don''t have any kids yet, but we''re heading off to my twin cousins'' 2nd birthday party in a little bit! They had a 1st birthday party last year, too, and I think my aunt and uncle feel like it''s a great excuse to get the family together and smear cake on the twins'' faces!

 

[lumpkin]

Sounds like overkill to me. I only had them for close friends/family. For my first child''s first birthday, it was a big deal, but we had a play group of new parents and we all got together. After that I don''t remember it being as big a deal until preschool, and I invited his whole class, and almost everyone came. That was fun, we had a pinata and the kids had a blast. My poor second child, he didn''t like GOing to b-day parties. Too much going on, so we always just had little ones for him with people we know well.

I''ve noticed that a lot of parents don''t have big parties anymore, although they used to. This past year for my 10 year old''s party, I tried to keep it very casual and scaled back. A couple of his friends'' dads lost their jobs (sounds like us last year) and one of the moms was VERY stressed out about what to get. My son was asking his friends for expensive games for his game cube when asked what he wanted. Yes we had already talked to him about that and I was horribly embarrassed. It has become an issue with the kids'' parties, for everyone involved. I''m thinking next year instead of having a party and inviting kids who have to bring gifts, we might go someplace special that we never go (like Chuck-E-Cheese -- I HATE that place with a passion) that would be a real treat.

 

[zoebartlett]

I don''t mean any disrespect to those who have done this. I just felt bad at how overly stimulated this poor boy must have been, and his mom looked a tad stressed at the whole thing (not as much as last year though). I do understand that it''s a good excuse to get family and/or friends together. It just seems so like such a big production for a little one.

Speaking of parties, I hate it when my students hand me a bag of invitations to pass out for his/her birthday party. I understand that it seems easier that way instead of the parents doing it themselves, but every year, without fail, someone is left out. Last year, my teaching partner had this happen. Every single person was invited in the class, except one. It was awful. Luckily she figured this out before she stuck them in her kids'' mailboxes. She called to let the mother know that she felt uncomfortable with this (knowing that this particular child who was left out was very sensitive about things like that), and the mother got upset with my partner. Drives me nuts, I tell ya.

 

[VegasAngel]

I had a 1st birthday party for my daughter. I did decorations, cake etc. We had close family and a few friends- It was fun. Of course my daughter didnt understand what was going on but she still had fun. I look at it this way, she is only one, once. It''s an opportunity to celebrate her life & to take lots of pictures & video. For her second birthday we are going to take her to do some crafts. I will make her a cake & decorate but I''m not sending invitations out or anything. If family wants to come over they will if not no biggie.

 

[lauralu]

I think 1st birthday parties are great. As big as you want it. I personally never invited anyone other than close family to my kids 1st birthday parties though. However, we went all out for it. The next B-day parties where people were invited for my two older girls came when they were in 2nd grade. I am not sure why I choose 2nd grade. Just did. Invites go to neighborhood friends and a few friends from school. This went on for 3rd, 4th and 5th grade. Once in middle school for my oldest daughters it is just too much to do big birthday parties. So it ends up being a sleep over party with a few friends. We also always do something just family orientated though. I let them choose what it is. Sometimes it''s a family movie, or a favorite restaurant, or a special meal of their favorite food.
NEVER do I let my kids pass out invites at school. NOT a good idea in my opinion.
I think there is something very special about the one year old birthday though. Sweet and precious.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks for explaining this. I can understand it better now -- you get to mark one of your child''s first big milestones. I know I had sleepovers as I entered middle school, and before that, I think my mom limited it to 5-8 friends. I don''t think they had birthday parties for me when I was really little, and if they did, there are no pictures. Same thing for my sister.