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Gwyn

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 5, 2007
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745
Is it me, or do people here feel like guys could wait forever and not even notice?


Ill apologize in advance for the length of this post

Background info: My bf and I have been together a little less then 2 years. I moved with him across the country and away from all my friends and family for his work this past August. Before this, we had "the talk" and I told him I would not make that kind of commitment to us unless I knew that marriage was in the future (within the year). Which he was fine with.

Because we now live in California and all my family is in NYC and Boston area, I am not planning to make it home more then a couple weeks a year. My sibling is getting married this summer and, around New Years my boyfriend and I got to talking and I told him that I would like to have a ring by their wedding so that I would be able to show my friends and family when i went out there for the week of the wedding. He said that that was "doable".

Around March the topic of engagement had not been brought up and I mentioned that, since I was interested in an asscher stone (which can take some time to find the one thats pattern speaks to you) and a custom setting that could take up to 6 weeks, that he should probably start looking (or atleast take an interest in what I was showing him). That way we would be sure that it was here and he had enough time to plan things by July (my sibling's wedding). He got all freaked out saying he didnt remeber anything about getting engaged by the wedding and how he thought he had all the time in the world. and Blah blah blah for like 10 mins.

I asked him when he was planning on proposing that July was "SO SUDDEN" for him. Which, of course, he had no answer for. I do not understand how guys minds work. We had a conversation in August 06 that we would be engaged within a year (before we signed another lease together since our current one expires in Aug 2007). And then in January 07 we talked about making the deadline early July so I could show my friends and family back home when i visited. I do not see that I made things any more difficult by bumping it up ONE month. Also, he said he didnt have anything planned yet, so it wasnt like i ruined something he was working on. PLUS he still had 4 months to get something ready by July.

Since that last conversation in August we have picked up a diamond and sent it out to be set (we should get it this coming Thursday) but I am still having issues with that last conversation we had. He said that he was just freaking out b/c it was coming up and he felt he hadnt planned or prepared himself and he wanted it to be something special and he didnt want to mess it up and he apologized for over acting. And I know i should believe him, but now I feel like I had to convince him to get engaged, instead of him just doing it on his own...

I feel bad because I am getting what I want, so I should be happy. is it wrong to want him to want it too? He says he does, and that he wants to do this so maybe I am just over reacting... But, I dont know...that conversation and him saying "WHAT? I never agreed to that!" still sticks out in my mind =(




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kimberlina13

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
171
Aww, don''t let it get to you! Guys''s short term memory, especially when it comes to diamonds and marriage, is there today and gone tomorrow. I don''t think that he''s not into it, especially if ya''ll have the ball rolling. His mind probably just didn''t register how close this summer is already. And now that really is knocking on the door, he''s just freaked out a little bit, kinda of like realizing that you have a big test that you haven''t studied for. And trust me, if your guy didn''t want to get engaged, there was nothing you could do to change his mind! So, rest assured, he wants to marry you! So, sit back, and enjoy the ride! It''s an exciting time! IMHO!
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
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9,613
My first words when FI proposed?

"Oh my god, have I bullied you into this?"

Men
20.gif
 

Becky P

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
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272
Date: 4/9/2007 8:56:46 PM
Author:Gwyn

Is it me, or do people here feel like guys could wait forever and not even notice?

I feel bad because I am getting what I want, so I should be happy. is it wrong to want him to want it too?

No!! You should not feel bad at all! It is not wrong to want him to want it too! What woman wants to think she''s forced her guy into marriage. And, YES it seems like they could wait forever and not even notice! But, if it was a football game or basketball game or something, then of course they''d be chomping at the bit not able to wait a moment longer... I just emailed my guy information on diamonds the other day, the 4 C''s, link to this website, info on what I prefer, etc. His response back to me, "Oh, so, you want to get engaged?" And he was SERIOUS!!! I was like, YES! What rock have you been living under with all the hints I''ve been giving! Of COURSE I want to get engaged!!! But, I think he actually finally got the hint - sometimes ya just gotta hit ''em with a sledgehammer first tho before they really get what you are saying... Good luck! I hope your wait is short!!!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
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19,221
GWYN, I just wanted to say that I love your quote line! That is too funny!
 

phoenixgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2003
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3,388
Becky, I hate to be the one to bring this up, but I''m probably not the only one who remembered that your deadline was the end of March. Any update?
 

Becky P

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
272
Date: 4/11/2007 9:27:18 AM
Author: phoenixgirl
Becky, I hate to be the one to bring this up, but I''m probably not the only one who remembered that your deadline was the end of March. Any update?
Hopefully soon. Trust me, you will know when there is an update.
 

ThefutureSB

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2007
Messages
48
Becky is SOOO RIGHT.... men do NOT take subtle hints, AT ALL!!! lol

26 days!!!!!
 

Gwyn

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 5, 2007
Messages
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Date: 4/11/2007 12:36:45 AM
Author: monarch64
GWYN, I just wanted to say that I love your quote line! That is too funny!

Thanks.

I cant remember where I saw it. I think it was in a forward my bf''s mother sent me LOL

I thought the ladies here would get a kick out of it. I edited to to say "my boyfriend gave me" instead of "my husband gave me"

=)
 
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