Just so you know..

[looking4answers]

I received a note from PS saying my post on "intimacy" was removed due to several complaints from forum members. I found this pretty disappointing--I think it's a legitimate "family & health" topic which I tried to phrase very discretely. Not to mention I'm talking about my husband and we're newlyweds who are also TTC for goodness sakes!!

I think a few among us really need to lighten up, and realize there are other things in life to complain about! Anyway, it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth to know that after only post # 2, I've been chastised, so I think this will be my last post here.

Thanks those who left feedback though--if I remember correctly there were many many responses and views of the thread.

 

[Cleopatra]

Hi Looking4Answers...I''m sort of suprised that your topic was removed. I didn''t answer your question, mainly because FI and I aren''t married yet - and I felt that it was more appropriate for the married women here to answer if they pleased.

I didn''t find it offensive, mainly because you were "looking for answers" - and the polls allow one to vote without giving away their username. If it was offensive to someone, then I''m sure they wouldn''t answer. I don''t quite understand how your topic would have been offensive. Just as every topic here, if I''m un-interested, then I leave it alone.

I surely hope you don''t leave PS. It''s a wonderful place and everyone here is so helpful and kind! I''ve only been here 4 short months, and I visit this site multiple times a day to see what these lovely ladies are up to and also give my two cents (if it''s worth THAT much) to anyone I think I can help. I can assure you that you are welcome here.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

While I didn''t personally find your post offensive (in fact I answered the poll), but to be honest, I was surprised by how long it lasted on the board.

I think we often forget how easily accessible what we write (on here) is on the web. Any of these posts can be accessed with a simple google search. In fact, that''s how many of us found PS to begin with. There have been instances where people have referred to others in posts, only to later be publically called out by that person because the person in question googled themselves and found the post. The guilty party thought they were ''safe'' posting their comment about the person on here because it was just a relatively obscure message board, when in reality the posted their opinion for all to see (including the person the opinion was about).

PS has no place popping up on google searches for terms for body parts or intimate acts. I''ve been guilty of forgetting this fact myself. I once mentioned the proper name for the male "member" and had my post removed with a note stating that PS didn''t want to be associated with that term. At the time I posted, that thought didn''t even cross my mind. But after I received the email I totally understood where the admin was coming from and I agreed with him/her.

First and foremost this is a message board for discussing gems and gem/jewelry education. The family and general discussion boards developed after the fact and are secondary to the overall mission and purpose of Pricescope and it''s community.

 

[ljmorgan]

I''m sorry that your post was removed, I definitely don''t think that it was innappropriate. If people were uncomfortable with it, they didn''t have to participate in it...

 

[surfgirl]

I too, am sorry that your post was removed. I find that unbelievable, actually. It was not graphic. It was polite and it was asking for feedback on what newly married and older marrieds felt was the norm for the question you were asking.

It saddens me that we cannot talk about something like how frequently couples have sex (hardly a racy topic), yet we are allowed to talk about political hot topics, which to be honest, I find far more offensive and which I was under the impression was also "not allowed". If PS no longer wishes us to talk about anything related to sex (and let's remember that this site also deals with weddings, marriage and all that goes with that topic), then we should also not be discussing politics or religion, IMO. And if that is the case, then I for one, would appreciate a clear and concise note on the boards informing all us of what we can and cannot discuss here anymore.

Based on this thread deletion and other recent deletions, I too, am considering reducing my participation here. The thread deletions seem rather random and it is frustrating not knowing what is going to be considered "deletion material" and what is not, especially when people make time to give thoughtful replies.

looking4answers, I'm sorry this happened to you and I can understand how you must feel. I rather liked that thread. It was indeed very informative. To those who were so offended, why do you read threads that offend you? Just dont read them.

I hope that thread will be restored.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Surf, what were the other deletions?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/6/2007 8:24:16 AM
Author:looking4answers
I received a note from PS saying my post on ''intimacy'' was removed due to several complaints from forum members. I found this pretty disappointing--I think it''s a legitimate ''family & health'' topic which I tried to phrase very discretely. Not to mention I''m talking about my husband and we''re newlyweds who are also TTC for goodness sakes!!

I think a few among us really need to lighten up, and realize there are other things in life to complain about! Anyway, it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth to know that after only post # 2, I''ve been chastised, so I think this will be my last post here.

Thanks those who left feedback though--if I remember correctly there were many many responses and views of the thread.

You do know that THIS post will probably be deleted, right?

I didn''t find it offensive...but I didn''t participate because I don''t need to know about other''s sex lives on here (probably because I actually feel like I already know quite a few well already and didn''t mental images!) and I don''t care for others to know mine. But I a believer that if I don''t like something, I don''t read it and just go about my merry way.

And about lightening up? Maybe you should. Do you have any idea who many times I''ve been chastised? (I use that term lightly because PS admins have always been so courteous with my boo boos.) And I am still here....much to the dismay of many. Hehehehe....

 

[janinegirly]

i also think it was a silly deletion, what are we a bunch of nuns? of course everyone has their opinions and preferences for topics, but if you don''t want to participate, then move on to topics you do like to engage in. just b/c one person isn''t interested doesn''t mean the next 100 might not be. To actually go to the extent of reporting a post to admins b/c a topic makes someone squeamish seems a little victorian.

to me, reporting a complaint should be reserved for truly offensive topics, like personal attacks, relgious/racial comments,etc.etc. Anyway, I just wanted to post here before it was deleted

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/6/2007 11:40:46 AM
Author: surfgirl
I too, am sorry that your post was removed. I find that unbelievable, actually. It was not graphic. It was polite and it was asking for feedback on what newly married and older marrieds felt was the norm for the question you were asking.

It saddens me that we cannot talk about something like how frequently couples have sex (hardly a racy topic), yet we are allowed to talk about political hot topics, which to be honest, I find far more offensive and which I was under the impression was also 'not allowed'. If PS no longer wishes us to talk about anything related to sex (and let's remember that this site also deals with weddings, marriage and all that goes with that topic), then we should also not be discussing politics or religion, IMO. And if that is the case, then I for one, would appreciate a clear and concise note on the boards informing all us of what we can and cannot discuss here anymore.

Based on this thread deletion and other recent deletions, I too, am considering reducing my participation here. The thread deletions seem rather random and it is frustrating not knowing what is going to be considered 'deletion material' and what is not, especially when people make time to give thoughtful replies.

looking4answers, I'm sorry this happened to you and I can understand how you must feel. I rather liked that thread. It was indeed very informative. To those who were so offended, why do you read threads that offend you? Just dont read them.

I hope that thread will be restored.

Surfgirl, let's keep in mind that we are guests on a forum here. Leonid and Irina created this forum to be a diamond education one first and foremost, and everything else was a courtesy to their members. Having had many communications with Irina, I know that every rule is there for a very good reason.

Religion is not allowed. For now, there is no rule against current event or politics (I had to check on this one recently.) I think the forum policies are pretty clear, so maybe a revisit may be in order?

I agree there are lots of gray areas around here...have you read the TTC thread? A bit of TMI there too, but my guess there are a lot of acronyms like TTC and words like "baby dancing" that aren't red flags for filters around here.

Moderating is a tough job. So much so that Irina's last email to me was a bit sad because she said she was so tired from doing it. If you all feel the need to participate less, go for it. Pricescope will go on. Please don't take this the wrong way...as I'd certainly be sad if some of you restrained yourself. But I'm a firm believer in we play in their pen, we play by their rules.

ETA, surfgirl, also maybe to shed light as to why another thread was deleted that you may be thinking about, do you remember what word you used in one of your posts? You told her to get a ___ and move on. There were words that cause problems all over that thread, used inadvertently. My guess is it was easier to delete the thread than clean it up. Moderators are trying to prevent spamming around here and as soon as I saw you post that, I figured it was a matter of time before it was all deleted.

I'm not trying to be accusatory at ALL. Just trying to shed light on why that thread may have been deleted, because I know it may seem random to some of you.

 

[surfgirl]

TG, you illustrated my point exactly. There seem to be arbitrary boundaries, and that is always going to upset people. And you illustrate exactly my point with the TTC thread. Why is that allowed to remain up while other threads as benign as looking4answer's are deleted? To me, that is totally arbitrary. If the "looking for anwers" thread was deleted then so too should the TTC and any other threads that mention sexual issues that might come up on an internet search. That's my point exactly. And yes, if religion is banned as a discussion topic, then why are there Christmas and Hanukkah threads. So aren't those threads considered "religious" oriented? I know what you're going to say, and that is exactly my point. Where does one draw the line? I'd like to know where the line is personally. I mean, for example, there have been several threads recently that have mentioned the dreaded "CZ" or "synthetics" and yet I have had many posts removed where I mentioned "South Seas pearls" (which are considered highly prized real gems). My posts got deleted but others appear to be allowed to talk openly about CZs?!? To me that seems arbitrary.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/6/2007 12:06:28 PM
Author: surfgirl
TG, you illustrated my point exactly. There seem to be arbitrary boundaries, and that is always going to upset people. And you illustrate exactly my point with the TTC thread. Why is that allowed to remain up while other threads as benign as looking4answer''s are deleted? To me, that is totally arbitrary. If the ''looking for anwers'' thread was deleted then so too should the TTC and any other threads that mention sexual issues that might come up on an internet search. That''s my point exactly. And yes, if religion is banned as a discussion topic, then why are there tons of Christmas threads. Someone had to put up a Hanukkah thread because she mentioned there was no mention of her holiday. So aren''t those threads considered ''religious'' oriented? I know what you''re going to say, and that is exactly my point. Where does one draw the line? I''d like to know where the line is personally. I mean, for example, there have been several threads recently that have mentioned the dreaded ''CZ'' or ''synthetics'' and yet I have had many posts removed where I mentioned ''South Seas pearls''. My posts got deleted but others appear to be allowed to talk openly about CZs?!? To me that seems arbitrary.

Surfgirl, moderation is TOUGH job. It is not perfect. I can see threads right now that violate the policies, but they are still there. Should they be? Probably not, but I think the moderators must have a life!

The TTC thread, although I have not read it recently, doesn''t have as many of the "key" words that raise flags. I think to say "sex" is fine, but others cause problems for the admins. I did not read the thread referred to here, so I don''t know what was in it, in terms of language. But as I said, words like "babydancing" probably aren''t as big a problem. My guess is neither are words like "cervical" or "mucus", which together are kinda gross, but still aren''t going to raise spamming issues.

Does that make sense?

And as to your religious question...many holiday hreads are not discussing RELIGION. They are discussing gifts, and holiday traditions, (although again, I have not read them all so who knows).

Where does one draw the line you ask? Surfgirl, it is as I mentioned before...the moderator chooses where to draw it and it is not an easy job. Have I said that already? IT''S NOT AN EASY JOB. If it''s frustrating for members, they will go elsewhere. Many have gone before now, and many will go in the future.

 

[Ali]

Just so you know....

Policy #22 states:

1. Discussions about moderator or administrator actions are welcome in email, but should not be discussed in public forums. This is out of respect for the members and moderators or policy involved.
   
   
   As TravelingGal stated, perhaps a revisit of the policies is in order https://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/faq.asp?mode=policy
   
   
   Anyone is welcome to contact us for clarification of the policies, or suggestions they may have. We are easy to contact and open to communication. We just ask that you respect the policy that we have in place.
   
   As Hudson Hawk said, we are first and foremost a Diamond education site. That is where we want to keep the focus.