shape
carat
color
clarity

just for fun

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

blodthecat

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
805
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down, and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_______________________________

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you''ve forgotten?
_____________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn''t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn''t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
___________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Bloddie
35.gif
 

Lorelei

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
42,064
Those are hysterical Bloddie, thanks for sharing I needed a laugh!
 

Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,571
ROTFLMAO, those were great, thanks Bloddie!!!
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,041
Those are great! When I was on jury duty I couldn''t believe how stupid the DA was. The judge actually yelled at him (when he should have been objecting and wasn''t paying attention). It was great!
 

ivanadiamond

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2004
Messages
736
Those are just awesome, thanks for that!
 

sunkist

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
2,964
Hahahah!
9.gif
Thanks for the laugh!
 

moon river

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2006
Messages
1,806
And I thought my exerpts from Paris Hilton''s court case were bad.
 

Shay37

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 1, 2004
Messages
3,343
Bloddie, those are so funny. I hate to tell you that we hear that stuff on a daily basis. It''s unbelievable. You come home and tell your DH so he can get a good laugh too.

shay
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top