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Just curious - girl proposes

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DebShine

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 13, 2009
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Just curious what everyone thinks of the female proposing to the male?

Has anyone ever done it? Heard of it done? What do guys think about it? Is the sky blue...

ok - ignore that last one!


I was just curious.
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 2/3/2009 1:32:46 PM
Author:DebShine
Just curious what everyone thinks of the female proposing to the male?

Has anyone ever done it? Heard of it done? What do guys think about it? Is the sky blue...

ok - ignore that last one!


I was just curious.
There have been a ton of threads on this on LIW/BWW. Search "Woman Propose" and you''ll find a lot.

Me, personally, nah.
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
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Dec 16, 2007
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5,184
None of my female friends have ever "purposed" but all of them have been involved in the process to a certain degree. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with the notion of a woman popping the question, my philosophy is that if it works for the couple then that's great!!

ETA: But, personally, within my relationship...I would not have purposed, I guess in my own life I'm traditional in that sense.
 

tlh

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4,511
I HATE IT.

I am seriously old fashioned, and maybe fuddy duddy, but I dont like it at all. I think women usually are more ready-eager to get hitched a LOT sooner than a guy is... hence the LIW thread. Now to each his own... but I just don''t like it... for me.

But, I am the girl that other see as a headstrong professional, and all I want is to be a stay at home mother. I am perfectly happy with these gender roles, as long as I am not... FORBIDDEN to do "man''s job" but do I mow the lawn?, nope! Do I try to open the pickles? well I TRY (I have a rubber gripper). I just don''t want to do those things.

And I am the same woman who dislikes it when a man hides behind his loud mouthed woman. (You know, when you are at a restaurant and a lady is yelling and the guy is hiding behind the menu...) Now I am headstrong, opinionated, and definately run the house, but I like my man to take that manly role. Now, I''d probably dislike it if it were a man doing that yelling at some poor clerk, just seems rude and uncalled for... but you know what I am talking about...
 

Elmorton

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I know someone who did it. Unfortunately, I think it was her way of speeding up the relationship. In that case, I feel about it the same way that I would feel if a guy were trying to do the same thing.

I think it''s sweet when a girl proposes, but I think just like a guy proposing, it depends on the timing and the relationship. I don''t think DH would have been happy had I proposed - I''m a relatively impatient person and I like to be in charge of everything, so I think waiting for him to propose had a lot to do being in a partnership instead of a me-ship, trusting him, and letting him do somethng special for me.

I think it''s really cool when couples propose to eachother though - when we were engaged and just before, I really wanted to propose "back" - I wanted to do something for him and to be able to ask him as well.
 

Bia

Ideal_Rock
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Mar 28, 2008
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6,181
Other than a couple saying, "Let''s get married," no I haven''t.

I think it''s fine if they want to though. I am more traditional than I would have thought, in that I wanted my FI to propose to me. But, to each their own, right?
 

NewEnglandLady

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I have a friend who proposed because it just seemed like the perfect time and it was all very sweet (he did propose later), and I thought that was fantastic.

Unfortunately I feel like women usually only want to propose when they''re tired of waiting for HIM to propose...and that just seems desperate and sad.
 

Diamond*Dana

Ideal_Rock
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I guess it depends on the couple. I have never done it, and do not know anyone that has.
 

chrono

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No problem at all. Whatever the person likes. In the past, a man proposed because he had to be ready to take care of her. He would be the one supporting the household. These days, many women are able to take care of themselves and some even earn more than the guy, so there''s no reason to sit around and wait if both parties are ready. Note, both parties have to be ready and okay with it.
 

coatimundi_org

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Dec 9, 2007
Messages
6,281
I have a friend who proposed to her man--worked for them. Whatever floats your boat. DH proposed to me--if it was up to me he would''ve waited forevah--he would''ve been a dude in waiting--haha.
 

mommy2iz

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568
i think "to each his own." don''t think i''d do it personally, but who knows?
 

calh22a

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
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16
Would it go something like this?

Girl: Will you marry me?
Guy: Uhhh...sure
Girl: Great I bought a ring for myself with your credit card!


But seriously, I guess it would really depend on how the relationship is. Personally, I think it''s the guy''s responsibility to propose.
 

musey

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Date: 2/3/2009 1:36:53 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Date: 2/3/2009 1:32:46 PM
Author:DebShine
Just curious what everyone thinks of the female proposing to the male?

Has anyone ever done it? Heard of it done? What do guys think about it? Is the sky blue...

ok - ignore that last one!


I was just curious.
There have been a ton of threads on this on LIW/BWW. Search ''Woman Propose'' and you''ll find a lot.

Me, personally, nah.
Was gonna say the same thing.

I say, whatever floats your boat! I don''t think it matters what anyone''s opinion of it is, unless they''re the one giving or receiving the proposal. I''m sure my own proposal story would make plenty of people shudder, but I would not like to know about it!
 

Dreamgirl

Ideal_Rock
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5,070
I''m a traditionalist so it isn''t in my book of ''things to do.'' Plus, I think if I even did try that on my boyfriend, he''d probably laugh at me and think I was kidding...to which I would probably laugh and think I was kidding too...lol
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
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7,770
I wouldn''t have and don''t know anyone who has, but in theory, I see no problem with it, if that works for the couple in question.
 

Circe

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I proposed to my husband, after all of 3 months together as a couple (friends for 3 years before that). After he said yes, the first thing out of his mouth was that he'd only been holding off on proposing himself because he'd been trying to accommodate my commitmentphobia. It was completely spur-of-the moment, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Kind of tongue-in-cheek here, and going off some of the above reactions - me, I HATE the idea that women *have* to wait, *have* to be the passive ones, *have* to follow their guy's lead, for fear of being thought sad, desperate, pathetic or emasculating. I have friends who bemoan the fact that the guys whom they're interested in haven't called, but who recoil from the idea of calling *them* - after all, what if they looked "desperate," what if (horrors!) the guys in question thought they were *interested,* got what is, for all intents and purposes, the *right* idea? The shame associated with being active, aggressive, possessed of agency ... I just do not get that. And I think the difference between that and women proposing is a difference of degree and not kind, and an attitude that echoes on throughout the rest of our decisions to no good effect.

I'm not saying that every woman out there needs to propose - all relationships are different! - but I'm looking forward to that particular set of stereotypes dying out.

*Not quoting or responding to any one poster, btw - just going off of popular stereotypes. With Mercury in retrograde, you can't be too careful about avoiding misunderstandings!
 

whitetulips

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Date: 2/3/2009 2:12:21 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I have a friend who proposed because it just seemed like the perfect time and it was all very sweet (he did propose later), and I thought that was fantastic.


Unfortunately I feel like women usually only want to propose when they''re tired of waiting for HIM to propose...and that just seems desperate and sad.
I have to agree with this. I jokingly asked my fiance what he would have done if I proposed first and he said he would have said no; however, there were many times before we got engaged that I said to him: ''marry me'' and then he would say it back to me- but that was never meant be a proposal.
 

Alexiszoe

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674
I proposed to my husband, but he beat me to it by proposing to me first. Since my plans were already underway, I thought I might as well propose to him anyway even though we were engaged, as a gesture of equality and well, all that effort not going down the drain lol!

He was very very surprised, and i loved the look on his face when I went down on bended knee with his wedding band! We had custom bands made but he didn''t realize it was ready - I was in cahoots with the jeweler and her staff the entire time to hide it from him (he kept trying to thwart my plans unwittingly) - it was really funny looking back!
 

littlelysser

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Joined
Dec 8, 2005
Messages
1,862
One of my best friends proposed to her husband. They've been married for 10 years.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with it!

ETA - It had nothing to do with her being desperate or lonely. She had always told her then BF that she would never get married before 30. They'd been together for several years, she realized she was wrong and would marry him earlier, and she proposed while they were on vacation in NYC.

They are a great couple and very happy to this day.
 

trillionaire

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Date: 2/4/2009 2:55:30 PM
Author: Alexiszoe
I proposed to my husband, but he beat me to it by proposing to me first. Since my plans were already underway, I thought I might as well propose to him anyway even though we were engaged, as a gesture of equality and well, all that effort not going down the drain lol!


He was very very surprised, and i loved the look on his face when I went down on bended knee with his wedding band! We had custom bands made but he didn''t realize it was ready - I was in cahoots with the jeweler and her staff the entire time to hide it from him (he kept trying to thwart my plans unwittingly) - it was really funny looking back!
This is what I plan to do! I love the idea of proposing to SO, and that he will enjoy it, so after he proposes, I probably will too. I''m all about equality!
 
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