Joining the Group

[letthesunshine]

Hi Everyone -

I feel so behind the scenes everytime I visit PS and the LIW thread. I always read what everyone has to say but never respond myself. I am already on the LIW list but I feel as if I should actively participate.

So, here is some background info: Me and my BF have been dating for roughly 5.5 years and have only really been talking about engagement for the past year or so. I find the topic of engagement REALLY hard to talk about because I don''t want to seem like I am putting on the pressure but I also need to know where we stand. Having been in a relationship for a long while I constantly get the "when is it going to happen" which is always followed by me saying "your guess is as good as mine". I try not to mention anything about it to him but sometimes I get excited looking at rings online (and sometimes even emailing him the ones I like) or even when I go to Barnes and Noble I find myself drawn to the wedding section and have to fight with myself to stay away, haha.

How do you guys cope?!?! I FEEL SO OUT OF CONTROL!!!!

haha.

 

[ilovesparkles]

I guess I cope because he likes to talk about it as much as I do. Rare and so wonderful in a man! I would suggest having a serious convo with him about it. Know where he is at, especially after 5.5 years of being together.

 

[somegirl932]

This forum, and encouraging honest and open communication with my SO have been my saving graces.

I found that once we really talked about engagement and marriage, and had a clear timeline, coping was so much easier, because his thoughts were no longer a total mystery.

I hope you can find the support and encouragement you''re looking for here!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 3/21/2009 6:34:33 PM
Author: ilovesparkles
I guess I cope because he likes to talk about it as much as I do. Rare and so wonderful in a man! I would suggest having a serious convo with him about it. Know where he is at, especially after 5.5 years of being together.

Yep - I have to agree with you on this one. Generally, I don''t believe in putting pressure on a partner to propose but after 5.5 years I think you giys need to talk

 

[Treasure43]

My BF and I have been dating just under a year, yet I have no doubt he''s the one for me and he feels the same. I was very anxious to get engaged and was having trouble coping. What helped was talking to him about it. I have this need for having some control over my life, so he let me know it''s coming in the next 6 months. This gave me a timeframe and stopped me from being anxious. We''ve also been ring shopping together and have talked about our wedding (as well as what our future together will be like). Just knowing it''s coming in the future allows me to not be as anxious and to just enjoy this time and him. Also remembering to focus on the relationship instead of the engagement/marriage/ring (which is TOUGH) is another great way. And OF COURSE, this forum!