IYO...what would be the ideal age difference b/t ...

[Dancing Fire]

husband and wife?

The reason I asked this Q is b/c I known a few women whose husband is 15 yrs or more her senior and they all ended up in a divorce later on into their marriage.

 

[jaysonsmom]

My personal preference is +/- 3 years. My husband and I are the same age. I have dated guys as much as 6-7 years older, and they wanted to take care of me. I prefer a more equal relationship, and don't want or need to feel taken care of. That being said, my dad is almost 10 years older than my mom, but it works for them because my grandfather was somewhat absent in my mom's life, and she feels secure with my older dad taking care of her. They have been married for 42 years.

 

[monarch64]

How old is your wife, DF?

ETA: I look at it like this: I have many friendships with people of all ages. Those I'm closest with, and whom I relate to the most are near my age, meaning within 10 years. But that's ME. I know and have heard of plenty of people who have had successful RELATIONSHIPS, not necessarily marriages with larger age gaps.

DF, you know as well as anyone there is no right or wrong answer here. Make a poll or something more interesting. (love you.)

 

[Dancing Fire]

How old is your wife, DF?

ETA: I look at it like this: I have many friendships with people of all ages. Those I'm closest with, and whom I relate to the most are near my age, meaning within 10 years. But that's ME. I know and have heard of plenty of people who have had successful RELATIONSHIPS, not necessarily marriages with larger age gaps.

DF, you know as well as anyone there is no right or wrong answer here. Make a poll or something more interesting. (love you.)

She's an "old hag" ... ..She will turn 54 in May, said she is 1.5 yr younger than I am, but we all know most women lie about their age..

 

[Karl_K]

the answer is 42

 

[kenny]

I wish every couple happiness and don't want to reinforce the idea that age difference X is best.

What's next, ideal weight difference? Income difference? Educational difference? Racial make up? IQ? Attractiveness?

Lots of dissimilar people make a relationship work.
Many similar ones break up.

 

[Trekkie]

the answer is 42

This is my default answer too!

I've dated a wide variety of age differences, from seven years younger to 38 years older. My first husband was eight years older, my current husband is 10 years older.

My dad was 20+ years older than my mother, but he is a year and a half younger than my stepmother.

I will acknowledge that I had more in common (from a pop culture/frame of reference point of view) with the guy three months older than the guy 38 years older, but I know of several happy relationships with a 30+ year age difference.

There's no right or wrong answer. Different things work for different people.

 

[monarch64]

the answer is 42

I'll need concrete data to back that up.

 

[justginger]

the answer is 42

I'll need concrete data to back that up.

https://www.google.com/#q=what+is+the+answer+to+life+the+universe+and+everything

 

[dk168]

Does it really matter as long as both parties are happy?

DK

 

[missy]

This is one of those joke questions right?

As others have written there is no such number. Younger, older, same age-it makes little difference as long as you 2 share similar core values, hopes and dreams and love each other. Among many other important characteristics. My dh are in many ways very different from each other but in other ways very similar and compatible and age has little to do with that.

As long as you are both adults age is irrelevant for the most part. It has everything to do with the 2 people in the relationship rather than their chronological years.

 

[rosetta]

The age difference doesn't matter. I do worry about my husband dying well before me and me being left as a widow for decades though. And that's despite him only being 3 years older than me!

 

[missy]

Dancing Fire if I may I will add 2 statistics about factors that might make a difference in marital success- how long the couple has been together before committing to marriage or living together and age they get married.

In general the more mature* the couple is before they marry the more stable the marriage. And the longer they date and get to know one another before marriage the greater the chance of successful marriage. Both generalizations of course. See below for more info regarding both these statistics.

*For some that maturity translates to older i.e. 25 vs 20 but just a huge generalization here because I know many successful marriages where the couple married very young and are still happily married many years later!

And I think there is a point of diminishing returns with regards to how long the couple dates before marriage. As long as you date long enough to know each other well enough vs dating each other for many many years which can actually work to a disadvantage IMO. Depends totally on the couple in question as to how many years is too many or too little. But there is a happy medium for each couple.


Rosetta, totally agree with that concern as well. My dh is 7 years older than me and that is a valid concern.

 

[crown1]

Since the question asked for an opinion not a fact I feel 3 years. If I were marrying again later in life as close to the same age as possible.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

My father was 19 years older than my Mother and they married when my Mother was only 21. It was not a happy marriage and my Father passed at 54 thirteen years into their marriage. I grew up with an instant dislike for older men because of my experience watching their relationship. My DH is just a little more than a year older than me and we started dating in high school. We were married on our seven year anniversary but we were still quite young, 22 & 23. I hope we have at least 60 years together

 

[packrat]

My Silly Papa was 26 years older than my Gramma Joyce. Silly Papa died young, and Gramma Joyce never married again.

JD and I are 4 months apart. My parents are a year or two apart. What difference does it make?

 

[manderz]

While I think that every couple is different, and what works for some may not work for others, this is what works in my life.

My husband and I are 4 years apart. I think this is ideal for us. We began dating when I was 18 and he was 22. At that point, we were very well matched as far as pop culture and social references, etc. and we were pretty close in maturity levels. Now that we are a bit older, I really don't notice our age gap. Then again, I don't think I really ever noticed it.

 

[NOYFB]

Considering DH and I are 7 years apart, I'd say 7.

 

[Dancing Fire]

It may not matter now when he is 45 and she is 25.Now look ahead 25 yrs when he will be 70 and she will only be 50, by then there will be a big difference. She will get tire of changing his diapers. I need a "trophy wife"!...

 

[kenny]

It may not matter now when he is 45 and she is 25.Now look ahead 25 yrs when he will be 70 and she will only be 50, by then there will be a big difference. She will get tire of changing his diapers. I need a "trophy wife"!...

The ideal age difference only depends on the age of the man, since a man should be constantly upgrading the wife with a new one at peak breeding age.

 

[ksinger]

Dancing Fire if I may I will add 2 statistics about factors that might make a difference in marital success- how long the couple has been together before committing to marriage or living together and age they get married.

In general the more mature* the couple is before they marry the more stable the marriage. And the longer they date and get to know one another before marriage the greater the chance of successful marriage. Both generalizations of course. See below for more info regarding both these statistics.

*For some that maturity translates to older i.e. 25 vs 20 but just a huge generalization here because I know many successful marriages where the couple married very young and are still happily married many years later!

And I think there is a point of diminishing returns with regards to how long the couple dates before marriage. As long as you date long enough to know each other well enough vs dating each other for many many years which can actually work to a disadvantage IMO. Depends totally on the couple in question as to how many years is too many or too little. But there is a happy medium for each couple.


Rosetta, totally agree with that concern as well. My dh is 7 years older than me and that is a valid concern.

LOL! Well, we usually win the "longest happy medium" contest hands down a 28 years of on/off courtship, and periodically sticking forks in one another (at some points, nearly literally) to see if we were done. We're not even sure how long we've been married - it's kinda fuzzy. Technically it isn't 30+ years, but most people who just meet us think that....

We're less than a year apart, started dating when I was still in highschool...

 

[msop04]

My husband is six years younger than me... yeah, I'm his sugar momma.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Does it really matter as long as both parties are happy?

DK

I'll be honest...if my daughter married a man 15 yrs her senior we would not be happy about it. #1 daughter's bf is 5.5 yrs older than her and my wife think that he is too old for her.

 

[Dancing Fire]

My husband is six years younger than me... yeah, I'm his sugar momma.

Not sugar a momma, but a Cougar!...

 

[ForteKitty]

How old is your daughter, and how mature is she? How mature is her bf?

I'm young at heart but I'm not immature, and older guys can't seem to understand the difference between "she's responsible yet carefree" and "aww, how cute, little girl doesn't understand how to take care of herself". It's disturbing. I don't like to be patronized, so I can't really be with older men. Even if they don't intend to tell me what to do, I feel like they treat me like a kid and it grosses me out.

My husband is a few months younger than me, and my happier relationships have been with younger guys.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Age is a meaningless number. What matters is mutual interests and values.

 

[ksinger]

It may not matter now when he is 45 and she is 25.Now look ahead 25 yrs when he will be 70 and she will only be 50, by then there will be a big difference. She will get tire of changing his diapers. I need a "trophy wife"!...

The ideal age difference only depends on the age of the man, since a man should be constantly upgrading the wife with a new one at peak breeding age.

I think the conventional male wisdom is half your age plus 5.

At least that's what my husband says when he's out of arm's reach....

 

[AprilBaby]

It may not matter now when he is 45 and she is 25.Now look ahead 25 yrs when he will be 70 and she will only be 50, by then there will be a big difference. She will get tire of changing his diapers. I need a "trophy wife"!...

I agree. My stepmother was 10 years younger than dad and he had Parkinson's. They moved to assisted living when she was 54. She nursed him full time the last ten years of his life. All their friends were old, everything they did was old. When he died she married a younger man and travels the world. She was old before her time with dad. It was sad to see. DH and I are exactly 3 yrs apart. (He is older). At least we like the same things in life!

 

[kenny]

It may not matter now when he is 45 and she is 25.Now look ahead 25 yrs when he will be 70 and she will only be 50, by then there will be a big difference. She will get tire of changing his diapers. I need a "trophy wife"!...

The ideal age difference only depends on the age of the man, since a man should be constantly upgrading the wife with a new one at peak breeding age.

I think the conventional male wisdom is half your age plus 5.

At least that's what my husband says when he's out of arm's reach....

So … Male Wisdom:

Man/Woman
20 15
30 20
40 25
50 30
60 35
70 40
80 45

If a guy trades in every 10 years that's 7 dumped women for every man.
If every 5 years, that's 14 dumped women.

Why are men such pigs?
Why do they think their DNA is so special that they should use up so many women?
Is it Biology, evolution?
The men who fathered more kids fathered more DNA-makers, so while it flies in the face of all we hold dear today you have to admit there's a good reason for men being such pigs … not that that makes it right today.

Genders being equal does not mean they are the same.

 

[Indylady]

-3 to +7. Maybe more or less, but that seems to be the standard age range I'd consider for a partner.