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I''ve been MIA

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bubbly1126

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
969
So yeah, I''ve been MIA for a while now. Just needed to take some time away from the board and maybe stop thinking about getting engaged so much. Well, I think it worked. haha. I haven''t pestered FF about when it will happen in probably about a month (or maybe longer) now. It feels great!

BUT...

It seems that I''ve skipped right on by the wanting to get engaged and now having the urge to just get married already! Seriously, I want to just go and get a marriage license and do it. I''m ready. It''s not like I''m really waiting for a ring or anything. (We had a simple one picked out just to get engaged with but I decided I no longer want that... [Like I originally wanted and always said] If we get engaged, I want it to be with the promise ring he gave me 5 1/2 years ago. I just love it and it means more to me than ANY other ring EVER could.) But anyway, the ring isn''t what is important. It''s the commitment I want to make to him. I have only brought up getting married spontaneously in a quick & lighthearted way so I''m not sure at this point if he really KNOWS I''m serious about it. But I am. I want to go and do it! There is something so romantic about just up and getting married... following your heart and doing something that just feels right! Ahhh, writing this just makes me want to do it even more!

Am I crazy, ladies?!?! Do any of you ever just want to skip this whole emotional rollercoaster (waiting to get engaged) and just go and get married?!?!

p.s. 72 days left until we''re off on our cruise!
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
No. The engagement part is fun, because you get to dream and plan for a set date - so all the LIW angst gets an actual date- and you can talk about it... plan and gush.

That said, it is perfectly normal. I waited so long I wanted to just get married already! So... that is quite normal. However, once you are officially "engaged" it is amazing how everyone is just soo excited for you both--- that feeling is just wonderful... I suggest you be engaged for at least a little while. It is nice having people gush at you!
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
There definitely are days when I''m like, "You know what, I know we both want to be with each other forever, why don''t we just officially start our lives together right now."

Buuuuut... I''m also ridiculously excited to plan a wedding and know that this isn''t really the best time for us to get married, (there''s going to be a year where we''re separated by school and work commitments) so I''m just really looking forward to the engagement right now.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I love the engagement part. It''s been so exciting and I''ll be married for so long that it''s nice to have this period. I can totally see how sometimes you want to just skip to being married though. I''m looking forward to being married also.
 

bubbly1126

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
969
Date: 3/21/2009 9:56:23 AM
Author: tlh
No. The engagement part is fun, because you get to dream and plan for a set date - so all the LIW angst gets an actual date- and you can talk about it... plan and gush.


That said, it is perfectly normal. I waited so long I wanted to just get married already! So... that is quite normal. However, once you are officially ''engaged'' it is amazing how everyone is just soo excited for you both--- that feeling is just wonderful... I suggest you be engaged for at least a little while. It is nice having people gush at you!
I understand what you''re saying. But, honestly, I don''t think anyone is going to be too excited for us b/c we''ve been together 6+ years already. All we ever get is, "get married already!" or when the heck are you two going to tie the knot?! So I think when it happens, they''ll all just be like "well, it''s about time!" I guess some reaction is better than none though. I don''t know. And also, we''re not having a big wedding anyway. We actually talked about getting married by the justice of the peace and then having a reception. Not too far off from my new idea. If we go with the "plan" we have now, it would be a VERY small wedding and then a huge reception. That''s it. I don''t like all eyes on me so therefore, I don''t want a lot of people witnessing our marriage. Just those that I feel are very important.

Ahh, I don''t know. You make a valid point. I''m just so anxious!
 

bubbly1126

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
969
Date: 3/21/2009 10:57:58 AM
Author: somegirl932
There definitely are days when I''m like, ''You know what, I know we both want to be with each other forever, why don''t we just officially start our lives together right now.''


Buuuuut... I''m also ridiculously excited to plan a wedding and know that this isn''t really the best time for us to get married, (there''s going to be a year where we''re separated by school and work commitments) so I''m just really looking forward to the engagement right now.
LoL. I get what you mean. For me, I don''t want to have a big wedding at all so I don''t think I''d ever feel as though I missed out on all that. That part of it is just not important to me.

Hmm... am I missing some girl part? The part that wishes for this big extravagant wedding and all eyes on me?!?! lol... I''m a weird one, I guess.
 

bubbly1126

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
969
Date: 3/21/2009 11:02:17 AM
Author: bee*
I love the engagement part. It''s been so exciting and I''ll be married for so long that it''s nice to have this period. I can totally see how sometimes you want to just skip to being married though. I''m looking forward to being married also.
Hmm... this is how I am feeling at this moment. We''ve been together 6+ years. We''ve talked about getting engaged for what seems like forever now that I feel as though I''ve lived the engaged life already. We KNOW we''re getting married, we have for years. We''ve talked (extensively) of babies and such... (baby fever, anyone?!?! haha)

And then...

There''s this other side of me that feels being *engaged* is a whole other entity in itself. It''s another step towards the greater things such as marriage. A critical point in a couple''s relationship. That it IS needed.

I FEEL as though I''ve experienced engagement and yet, I haven''t REALLY.

Gah, don''t you see how conflicted I am? I can''t even convey into words what I feel! This is crazy... nonsense. I hate feeling as though I can''t get a grip on to what I actually think or feel. And yet, I love it. This man drives me batty! I just want to marry him!

[sorry for the mumbo jumbo... lol... I am so conflicted! ]
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
Date: 3/21/2009 9:03:36 AM
Author:inhisarms17
So yeah, I''ve been MIA for a while now. Just needed to take some time away from the board and maybe stop thinking about getting engaged so much. Well, I think it worked. haha. I haven''t pestered FF about when it will happen in probably about a month (or maybe longer) now. It feels great!

BUT...

It seems that I''ve skipped right on by the wanting to get engaged and now having the urge to just get married already! Seriously, I want to just go and get a marriage license and do it. I''m ready. It''s not like I''m really waiting for a ring or anything. (We had a simple one picked out just to get engaged with but I decided I no longer want that... [Like I originally wanted and always said] If we get engaged, I want it to be with the promise ring he gave me 5 1/2 years ago. I just love it and it means more to me than ANY other ring EVER could.) But anyway, the ring isn''t what is important. It''s the commitment I want to make to him. I have only brought up getting married spontaneously in a quick & lighthearted way so I''m not sure at this point if he really KNOWS I''m serious about it. But I am. I want to go and do it! There is something so romantic about just up and getting married... following your heart and doing something that just feels right! Ahhh, writing this just makes me want to do it even more!

Am I crazy, ladies?!?! Do any of you ever just want to skip this whole emotional rollercoaster (waiting to get engaged) and just go and get married?!?!

p.s. 72 days left until we''re off on our cruise!
absolutly not! i feel the same way - but i know E wants to go the traditional route. Honestly, i think the proposal is much for him, as it is for me!
 

freudianflip

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2009
Messages
91
Honey, you''re not weird or un-girly because you don''t long for a big wedding with all eyes on you
There is a social script that says women in our culture are supposed to look forward to their wedding day as "the most important day of our lives" and that we''re expected to want to go all out with matching napkins and place card holders and a massive party that costs a bazillion dollars. That model is good for some, and I believe that people should get married in the way that suits their style and budget. But do not, for one second, think that you are "weird" b/c your wedding vision is different that the traditional hoopla. Do it the way that you and your future FI feel is true to you. If that means having a short engagement then a small ceremony with a party afterward, go for it! Be authentic to yourselves
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Uh, I suggested to FI when he proposed that we should just go and get it over with. He wasn''t too keen on the idea, because he knew we''d have to face the wrath of my dad and his sister when we got home.

I understand why you feel like that. I used to too. Then I got used to being engaged and I realized it was going to happen eventually, so I might as well just let it come at it''s own pace...

(I still wouldn''t mind eloping though. This wedding planning mess is more trouble than it''s worth most of the time.)
 
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