Wedding It''s okay not to have a shower right?

[Gypsy]

My mom may be having surgery in June (she''s going to the Mayo clinic, and we''ll see what happens). And well, I''m burned out on planning, and frankly the thought of having a shower that a) my mother may not be able to attend or b) that my mom may have to push herself or struggle to attend because she''s sick just isn''t appealing.

The reason I was planning my own shower, BTW is because mom can''t and she wanted to throw me one, and asked me to plan it.

We don''t have to have one do we? I don''t really want one. My MOH won''t be able to attend, John''s family won''t be able to attend, none of my invited friends are local and likely to attend... so really it''s just family and my mom''s friends and it doesn''t sound appealing.

Can I nix it?

 

[sumbride]

Showers are great when somebody else is throwing them. If you have to plan it yourself, SKIP IT. It''s ok. Of course it''s ok! And I hope your mom''s surgery goes well.

 

[blissfulbride]

yeah the fun part is to be suprised. If your not what the point !

 

[Rhea]

Not only is it okay, but in some cultures showers are seen as rude.

 

[isaku5]

Absolutely fine!! No justification needed!

 

[musey]

Totally okay.

I don''t even want one, but MOH really wants to throw one, really badly. The idea of it makes me uncomfortable, though

If you don''t want one, don''t have one, simple as that!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I am one of those cynical types who thinks showers are silly and superfluous. The idea of more gifts and how the whole tradition was started just doesn''t sit well with me, so I made my MOH promise not to throw one for me and I''d do the same for her. I don''t know if it''s just the curmudgeonly old lady in me or my non-girly side, but I''m sort of anti-shower.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 5/13/2008 2:15:34 PM
Author: sumbride
Showers are great when somebody else is throwing them. If you have to plan it yourself, SKIP IT. It''s ok. Of course it''s ok! And I hope your mom''s surgery goes well.

Ditto, I wish I didn''t have a shower; if I had to do it over I wouldn''t have one. I hope your mom will be okay, sweetie!

 

[basil]

Totally okay not to have one!

Wasn''t going to do one myself but I have a cousin and a mom who are really excited about planning it. So we''re going nontraditional - co-ed, BBQ, extremely casual. Not girly girls sitting around eating tea sandwiches.

 

[cara]

Technically showers aren't supposed to be thrown by family members anyway (and certainly not by yourself). Something about gift-grubbing for relatives/self is ugly.

SO you are certainly free to skip it entirely if you want. Others that want to do something non-shower or less-traditional are free to have a normal party/tea/coed BBQ, etc.

In this day when people don't stay living in their parent's home until marriage and have usually set up some kind of house (and sometimes two houses) it sometimes seems excessive to have showers.

 

[Octavia]

I don''t want a shower, and probably won''t have one unless my MOH insists and would be mortally wounded if she didn''t get to plan one (which is a distinct possibility, unfortunately). Showers make sense for people who are moving from their parents'' homes to a marital home, but I have so much darn stuff that getting more really isn''t appealing.

 

[neatfreak]

TOTALLY FINE. I didn''t have one and I survived.

And Gypsy, if you are going out to Mayo and want to take a weekend break I am only a few hours away (assuming you are going to the main campus in Rochester)....

 

[anchor31]

I hear you. Mom''s starting chemo on Friday, so there''s pretty much zero chance I''ll have a shower. Sort of makes me sad because I kind of wanted one, but nothing''s more important than making sure my mom is stress free.

I hope your mom''s surgery will go well and that she will be on her feet quickly.