its a bad one...^^^...

[strmrdr]

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT FLOSSING?
A newlywed couple was having difficulties accommodating each other’s habits. The wife was particularly annoyed by the way her husband flossed. He would say “ooh” or “aah” as he flossed. After a week of this, the wife could take no more. She yelled at him to stop. The bewildered husband asked why. “I just don’t believe in sighing flossers,” she said.

 

[Richard Sherwood]

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like ''Yes, I see,'' and ''Yes, go on,'' and ''I understand.'' The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest. The old priest says, "Now, don''t you think that''s a little better than slapping your knee and saying,"No sh*t! What happened next?"

 

[door knob solitaire]

Rich, I got yours! Funny!! Ha ha.

But once again stormy...I am just too dense to get it. I tried. I''ll wait around for the next round!

DKS

 

[scarleta]

me too...just like dks???

 

[Pupper]

DKS, Scarletta: repeat after me, out load, (i just dont believe in) "SIGHING FLOSSERS"

then, try not to groan!

thanks for the laughs storm n rich!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 9/8/2007 5:09:11 PM
Author: Pupper
DKS, Scarletta: repeat after me, out load, (i just dont believe in) ''SIGHING FLOSSERS''

then, try not to groan!

thanks for the laughs storm n rich!!

Hehe, now I get it, thanks Pupper. Rich that cracked me up!!!

 

[Sha]

I still don''t get the first one!!

 

[door knob solitaire]

Oh pupper...thank you!! Thank you!!

I really thought I was a loser!!!

Ok Scarleta baby... and Sha...(you are not losers either...) you can do it...really you can...I am here to help you!!

Just like Sha said... say it out loud all one word. It has to do with your annunciation. And then it is a play on words...with words. Say it and then listen to what you said. Do it again...what does it sound like? Come on...try it again....oh weee this is fun!! I need to get out more often, huh? Thanks again!!!

DKS

"SIGHING FLOSSERS"

 

[zoebartlett]

Storm, it took a second but I got it! Can I help the others out?

 

[AGBF]

Date: 9/8/2007 9:20:54 PM
Author: zoebartlett
Storm, it took a second but I got it! Can I help the others out?

No. We''ll give them a hint. Roswell, New Mexico.

Deb

 

[Richard Sherwood]

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO ACHIEVE A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It''s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans and has a job.

2. It''s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It''s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn''t lie to you.

4. It''s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It''s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

 

[strmrdr]

One ink spot walked up to another ink spot and said "why are you crying?"

The other ink spot replied "because my dad is in the pen and I don''t know how long the sentence will be!"

 

[strmrdr]

Ten Thousand years ago the first humans came to North America by crossing over from Russia to Alaska. They hadn''t actually intended to do this. They got lost and couldn''t get their Berings Strait.

 

[Sha]

OK, strmdr, I get all the others but I STILL am clueless as to what the first one is talking about. And I have NO idea what Roswell, New Mexico has to do with it!!

Help me!!

Could it be because I''m not North American and don''t speak with an American accent? Do you need to enunciate that way to get it?

Still confused....

 

[hlmr]

I'm not storm but I couldn't let you suffer Sha!! - I don't believe in sighing flossers (flying saucers) !!!

Thanks for the joke storm!! lol

 

[door knob solitaire]

Awh Sha...don''t feel bad. I am sure you can come up with a foreign one that will stump all of us...well, you are at least assured it will stump me!!!

DKS

Sherwood-you are bad. No really. Bad.

Stormy- love the bering straight.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 9/9/2007 12:24:21 AM
Author: Sha
OK, strmdr, I get all the others but I STILL am clueless as to what the first one is talking about. And I have NO idea what Roswell, New Mexico has to do with it!!

Help me!!

Could it be because I''m not North American and don''t speak with an American accent? Do you need to enunciate that way to get it?

Still confused....

sowwy went and took a nap.
thanks hlmr

 

[Sha]

Ha, Ha! Thanks.

I would NEVER have gotten that in a Million Years, so thanks for putting me out of my misery.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Sha it feels good to step into the light, doesn''t it?

DKS

 

[Richard Sherwood]

The Lord & The Biker

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

 

[door knob solitaire]

He he he he that is funny. Good one Rich.

DKS

 

[rainydaze]

ha! i really needed a chuckle..... thanks guys!!! strmrdr - LOVE the one about the ink!

 

[somethingshiny]

Date: 9/8/2007 10:34:14 PM
Author: strmrdr
Ten Thousand years ago the first humans came to North America by crossing over from Russia to Alaska. They hadn''t actually intended to do this. They got lost and couldn''t get their Berings Strait.

OMG!! ROFLMAO!!!!

 

[somethingshiny]

The Police Station was broken into and their toilet was stolen. They have nothing to go on.


The girl''s locker room wall has had a hole drilled into it. The police are looking into it.

 

[FireGoddess]

Without the New Mexico hint I would never have gotten that flossing joke. Ever. No matter how many umpteen times I said it out loud, the lightbulb did not go on!!!

 

[AGBF]

Date: 9/10/2007 6:37:18 PM
Author: FireGoddess
Without the New Mexico hint I would never have gotten that flossing joke. Ever. No matter how many umpteen times I said it out loud, the lightbulb did not go on!!!

That''s why Andrey let''s me stick around. I have my uses .

Deb

 

[DMBsGirl]

Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.
Bartender asks "Hey pirate, why ya'' got a steering wheel in your pants?"
Pirate answers (in pirate voice) "Arrrrr, because it drives me nuts!"

 

[somethingshiny]

Date: 9/10/2007 10:30:34 PM
Author: DMBsGirl
Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.

Bartender asks ''Hey pirate, why ya'' got a steering wheel in your pants?''

Pirate answers (in pirate voice) ''Arrrrr, because it drives me nuts!''

HE HE HE!!

 

[scarleta]

Thanks Pupper and thanks DKS: took me a while to get it...Thanks

 

[scarleta]

Thanks Pupper and thanks DKS: took me a while to get it...Thanks