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Is your SO like having a child?

Discussion in 'Ladies in Waiting' started by trillionaire, Feb 27, 2009.

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  1. trillionaire
    Ideal_Rock

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    by trillionaire » Feb 27, 2009
    Thu, 05/01/2008 - 4:00am by lilsugar
    16 Comments - 445 Views

    I love kids, but I wouldn''t want to be married to one. However, some wives don''t mind going beyond their marital duties to take on a motherly role with their husbands.

    According to a recent CNN article, believing that the ultimate woman is a nurturer, there are women who even cut up their partner''s meat.

    To see what else they do, read more.

    And, it doesn''t take a walk down the aisle for ladies to go to these domestic extremes, an engaged 26-year-old publicist stops at nothing to care for her man — even washing her fiance''s back while he showers.

    The piece said:

    She picks out his clothes before they go out, styles his hair, makes his lunches (complete with "I love you" notes inside) and takes it upon herself to apply the toothpaste before handing him his toothbrush each night.

    Children are a big enough responsibility, who has time to raise a husband?

    What''s your take on this issue?


    *************************************

    Overall, I would say I do more cooking, but we work out the rest. I do, however, call him every night to remind him to set his alarm clock (he''s like a narcoleptic), and call him at 5:30am on days where he was up late. (maybe one every two weeks or so, I usually have a 6th sense for when he is going to oversleep.) He doesn''t expect me to do either, but I do. Don''t know if that qualifies as babying him.
     
  2. tlh
    Ideal_Rock

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    by tlh » Feb 27, 2009
    No. I''m the child. [​IMG]
     
  3. sammyj
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by sammyj » Feb 27, 2009
    When I first read the subject I was like, uhhh YES! But then I read that post and I thought that that was taking it to an extreme!

    I need to push my BF out of bed in the morning, remind him to call his mom, ask him to pick stuff up off the floor and tell him he can''t eat chicken fingers and fries all the time...but cut his meat and wash his back? Pffff....[​IMG]
     
  4. Hudson_Hawk
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by Hudson_Hawk » Feb 27, 2009
    I baby FI a bit, but I really like doing nice things for him. I consider it a nice thing more than babying. I make his lunch every morning, I make dinner. I rub his back at night. I remind him to set the alarm and take his wallet, lunch, keys, and BB before we leave the house in the morning. I also bake him cookies, etc. pretty regularly. And I clean the majority of the house.

    FI does the laundry, ironing, and vacuuming.
     
  5. tlh
    Ideal_Rock

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    by tlh » Feb 27, 2009
    My Dh washes my back when we shower... but we shower together, and I hog all the hot water! [​IMG]

    I dont do that other stuff... reminds me of adults that wear diapers for sex kix... GROSS!

    I do work with a woman that does make lunches, meals, clean, iron, fold laundry, vaccuum, etc for her hubby while she works 2 jobs, and he only works one part time. I think it is strange.... but she probably thinks I am a spoled brat because I make my DH do everything for me. [​IMG]
     
  6. Hudson_Hawk
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by Hudson_Hawk » Feb 27, 2009
    The back rubbing I could do without, but it puts him to sleep and I''m usually awake watching TV. So it''s a compromise.
     
  7. jcarlylew
    Ideal_Rock

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    by jcarlylew » Feb 27, 2009
    me too! i even have to remind him to balance his budget *grrr*

    and washing his back? only if its sexy time.. i mean. serioulsy. i am NOT washing his back after he's been playing sports. [​IMG]

    eta - while i do the majority of the house work, he does clean the kitchen for me since i work two jobs. oh and he makes the bed AND tucks me in. [​IMG]
     
  8. Italiahaircolor
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Italiahaircolor » Feb 27, 2009
    I will put toothpaste on my husbands toothbrush if I am applying it to mine before he''s brushed his...but, he will do it for me in reverse.
     
  9. kittybean
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kittybean » Feb 27, 2009
    Haha. Me too.
     
  10. Rhea
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Rhea » Feb 27, 2009
    That''s extreme. SO is like a child when he''s ill. And we both do things for each other, but putting toothpaste on the toothbrush on a daily basis is...wow.
     
  11. LilyOfTheValley
    Shiny_Rock

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    by LilyOfTheValley » Feb 27, 2009
    Nooo! Lol. BF is almost 4 years younger than I am, and he spoils me rotten! I''m the child in the relationship, while he holds everything together. [​IMG]
     
  12. Definitely. Maybe
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by Definitely. Maybe » Feb 27, 2009
    When I first saw the title I was think "Yes!!" because just last night he was being really goofy and I told him he was acting just like a child. After reading the article though, I would scream "NO!" haha.

    Thinking about it... maybe I could do more for him. The only thing I really do is remind him to brush his teeth. I''m not quite sure if he just tells me he hasn''t because he knows I get really annoyed or if he really just doesn''t sometimes, so I remind/ tell him to. [​IMG]

    Overall, I think we both have to remind each other to do things, but we don''t ''baby'' each other. I think that''s pretty normal though.
     
  13. KimberlyH
    Ideal_Rock

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    by KimberlyH » Feb 27, 2009
    I''m married, but I''ll pipe in with a big NO! My husband is the most responsible, level headed person. I dated a few men who were childlike and figured out real fast, that type of guy is not for me. I''m extremely self sufficient and expect the same of my mate. That my husband was caring for his elderly mother, and had been for years, spoke volumes about his sense of responsibility and ability to care for himself and others. He is fantastic, and our household is a bit unbalanced because of our jobs (I''m gone 12+ hours a day, he works from home and has the ability to break and deal with household tasks -- lucky me!) but we take care of each other without babying one another.
     
  14. mrscushion
    Ideal_Rock

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    by mrscushion » Feb 27, 2009
    First off, my FI is an extremely mature and responsible grown-up. THAT SAID, I will admit I do like to baby him in certain respects. I I buy his clothes and I often put together his outfit in the mornings (I like to see him looking good!). I make sure he eats enough -- often he will just get so caught up in work that he doesn't think about food until it's too late and he's starving and cranky. I could TOTALLY imagine putting together his lunch sandwich in the morning like that woman in the article. I like spoiling him and he likes being spoiled. His friends have definitely commented on how good he has it. But, he always shows a ton of appreciation -- and he spoils me in other ways.
     
  15. Tuckins1
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Tuckins1 » Feb 27, 2009
    No, we''re pretty even. We both take care of each other.... Except when we''re sick. We both kind of like to get babied when we''re sick.
     
  16. CNOS128
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    by CNOS128 » Feb 28, 2009

    We read a study in my family law class that showed that women who out-earn their husbands also typically still do the majority of the housework (it was speculated that this is to "make up for" the fact that the gender roles were reversed).
     
  17. SailorsSweet<3
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by SailorsSweet<3 » Feb 28, 2009
    Wouldnt this also depend on how much the husband allows his wife to mother him? The section from the article seems, to me, a little biased and to allude to this desire to nurture being solely the female''s fault - as if shes forcing her fiance/husband into the child role. But if her husband were to say "Why the hell are you washing my back?" "I dont need you to pick out my clothes, thank you!" or " I think I can pack my own lunch sometimes" this wouldnt be the case. A nurturer needs a "nurturee". This is just the dynamic of certain relationships. I feel it also depends on how mothered the man was as a child by his biological mother. I''m trying to encourage my brothers to be more independent, tidy, and considerate towards what needs to be done around the house when they''re home from college simply because I do not want them to be in a marriage later on in life where they take on the typical "sit in front of the tv" husband role. Its harder with a sister -brother role than it would be with a mother-son role, though.
     
  18. Lorelei
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    by Lorelei » Feb 28, 2009
    Ditto.
     
  19. fieryred33143
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    by fieryred33143 » Feb 28, 2009
    Mr. Fiery has grown up...all the way to teenage status.

    He''s like the 18 year old teen that wants to sleep in on a Saturday and you have to tell him a million times to wake up and the whole time he''s grunting and saying "leave me alone" and then when he does wake up, he''s like a walking zombie for a few more hours.

    As for chores, he cooks, throws out the trash, carries heavy stuff, and kills bugs. I do everything else. Most of what I do is because he just doesn''t do it well. He does know how to do laundry but he''ll wash 5 shirts at a time because he''s convinced that he can''t put it all together. He also knows how to wash the dishes but he separates it into little piles (plates, silverware, cups), then washes one pile, watches TV for a little while, comes back to do another pile, sits outside...and 2 hours later he''s done. Never mind the fact that there are only 2 of us and our sink is never full.

    Ah...el amor.[​IMG]
     
  20. gwendolyn
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    by gwendolyn » Feb 28, 2009
    She cuts up his MEAT?! [​IMG]

    Ok, I''m a teacher of kids with moderate to severe learning disabilities, and even though some of them will always have to be in care because they will never be able to feed, clean and clothe themselves, I *still* encourage them to be as independent as possible as often as possible. So why on EARTH would I cater to a perfectly healthy and capable adult? The answer is: I wouldn''t. [​IMG]
     
  21. Definitely. Maybe
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by Definitely. Maybe » Feb 28, 2009
    Good points SS. I totally agree and I think that is really great you are trying to help your brothers be more independent.
     
  22. bee*
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    by bee* » Feb 28, 2009
    no, D and I are pretty equal. I do all the cooking and he does the cleaning up afterwards, that type of thing. I wouldn''t want a man that I had to cut up his food etc.
     
  23. trillionaire
    Ideal_Rock

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    by trillionaire » Feb 28, 2009
    interesting...
     
  24. JulieN
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    by JulieN » Feb 28, 2009
    You should read "The Second Shift."
     
  25. trillionaire
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    by trillionaire » Feb 28, 2009
    yes, I know about the second shift, I just wasn''t familiar with the concept of the work being ''make up'' or ''compensatory'' rather than just a male assumption that those extra duties were in the woman''s sphere. Did I miss that part of the book? lol
     
  26. tlh
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    by tlh » Feb 28, 2009
    That is interesting.... maybe I''ll have my DH read it to me! [​IMG] j/k!
     
  27. Brown.Eyed.Girl
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    by Brown.Eyed.Girl » Feb 28, 2009
    lol not too much, but when he''s sick, definitely!
     
  28. CNOS128
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    by CNOS128 » Mar 1, 2009

    Yes, perhaps even more interesting is the fact that, the more a woman earns, as long as she earns less than her husband, the more housework the husband tends to do -- but as soon as she surpasses him in income level, she''s back to doing most of the housework.
     
  29. Winks_Elf
    Brilliant_Rock
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    by Winks_Elf » Mar 1, 2009
    He''s perfectly capable of putting his own toothpaste on the brush, thank you. We do trade massages, and do thoughtful things for each other, but we don''t live together yet, and so far he''s managed to live alone for over 20 years with no domestic partner. [​IMG]
     
  30. gryffindor
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    by gryffindor » Mar 1, 2009
    I like to joke and say FF is like a small child/puppy dog that needs some training. But after reading this article here, he is definitely well trained. He can cut his own meat and shower by himself! I love cooking for him and dream of making lunches for him and me, but I''m saving the toothpaste-applying and meat-cutting energy for when I have to take care of our own small children someday.
     
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